by Scott Rhine
“You make it sound like she’s up for disciplinary action,” Claudette said.
“Ma’am, please. I need to hear her side while it’s fresh,” he said, handing her a spare notepad from his clipboard. “Write down anything you want to add. Proper debriefing is essential.”
Jez began with her 10:00 p.m. phone conversation with Benny, and relived the ordeal. From time to time, Crusader would raise a finger and ask clarifying questions.
“What told you it was a trap?”
“Women’s intuition. We’d been planning this meeting for weeks and each side thought the other chose the place. Frank held them off, even blinded by the gas. He’s the reason I survived.”
Later, Crusader asked, “What do you mean side-effects of the Ethics page?”
Jez tried not to talk, to blank. She held off the embarrassing secret for ten seconds. Only when Claudette offered to leave did she spill. “I can’t lie. I’m learning to filter what I say. I also can’t murder. I can’t go against the moral code we agreed to in the think tank.”
The starlet laughed and said, “You’re gonna make me pee myself, girl.”
The former dancer sighed, “Everybody laughs. Try having a relationship of any kind with that hanging around your neck. But it’s the price we pay to have other races who meet us believe what we say.”
Claudette stopped giggling. “Oh, darlin’, I was laughing at what this will do to Elias, not you. This will make your relationship with Benny that much stronger. You have to have faith.”
The detective put his finger to his lips to ask the starlet to resume her role as silent observer. He wasn’t convinced. “What’s the biggest thing you ever stole from an employer?”
“A bottle of Goldschlager after some prick fired me.”
“Why did he fire you?”
“For not giving him a blow job.”
“All you did was steal his booze and get drunk on it after? You're a lightweight.”
“No, I also paid a bum twenty bucks to shit in the front seat of his car. The rest he did for free. I didn’t ask for it.”
Claudette laughed so hard, tears started to form. Even the detective grinned. “You win, but you know this means we can’t ever let you out in the field again. It makes you utterly useless as an agent.”
“We can train her to say things like ‘a lady doesn't reveal such things.’ If we put exceptions in that code of hers, we can fix this,” Claudette said.
Jez shook her head. “He’s right. I’m worthless in a fight and most agent situations. I may still be valuable in signing treaties or contracts where honesty is an asset. I knew I’d have to change jobs. That’s why I recruited someone the boss couldn’t veto. Maybe I’ll take over the Red Giant project. Boring would be a welcome change. I’d like a nice desk job with no risk of rape or murder for a while.”
He pulled out a medical chart with detailed drawings of her injuries and prompted, “The steam tunnel?”
“First, I want you to thank Virus for his distraction, disrupting their key systems at just the right time. I don’t think Benny’s team could have rescued me without his help. Is he Oobie’s friend?” Jez said.
The detective said, “No. Actually, Dirt Bag caught him skimming ATM money from rich people and giving extra to poor, single mothers.”
“And he blackmailed him into doing work for you or facing arrest?” guessed Claudette.
“No, Dirt Bag donates a hundred thousand a quarter to a charity of Virus’s choice. Ragnar was his handler for a while. He’s probably the reason you had an angel. I see you visited Ragnar a couple days ago. Any reason?”
“He could’ve been me. That’s reason enough. Have you tracked down the person who gave away our post-hypnotic keys?”
Crusader shook his head. “Unfortunately, Cornflake lost her badge three times the first week.”
“People kept tricking her into bending over and the badge would fall off her shorts. I had to get her a lab coat like mine to wear. It holds the badge better and covers her (ahem) assets,” Jez explained. “It would take her a couple days to decide to get another because all the guys opened doors for her. I know my roommate isn’t the brightest, but I don’t think she'd set me up; she cries over dresses and told me how to get past the dogs.”
“You’re avoiding,” Crusader noted.
With a sigh, she resumed her detailed account of the torture. When Jez got to the description of how Maverick planned to rape her, he interjected, “I heard enough from the recording.”
Claudette was white-lipped and had been writing the word “bastard” on her notepad repeatedly.
“Sorry,” the interviewee apologized when she saw the effect her descriptions were having. She sped up the narrative. “I stalled all I could, but if Benny hadn’t arrived when he did, I might have told them everything.”
“Checkmate. You told Dirt Bag the new combination in your e-mail and he never suspected,” he said with admiration.
“I had to,” she explained. Then she detailed the combat, Benny’s disastrous bragging and her disabling of the offender.
“You reformatted his brain?” he confirmed.
“Just like you did to mine. You see how dangerous that page is to the wrong person. He’s effectively a vegetable now, and I’ve ruined my future as a judge.”
“Tell me more about the judge thing. I didn’t understand the recording there.”
She explained about their plans for three-judge tribunals to make important legal decisions. Then she described people with the page who operated as “transparency officers,” especially accountants and lawyers, who operated as the conscience of the organization. Then Jez stopped. “Wait a minute; I didn’t turn the recording device off. How much did you get?”
“Until the chopper made it impossible to hear,” he said.
She blushed. “I cursed like a sailor every time he smashed my boobs. They still hurt like hell and every time he took too big a step or zigzagged, they’d smack into his back.”
When Crusader gave her a blank look, Claudette explained, “They’re as sensitive as your balls are, and Maverick likes to twist them till they’re black and blue.” That made the detective wince.
“I hope you didn’t let anyone else listen to it,” Jez whispered.
Crusader seemed surprised. “They’re priceless training materials for our students. Against impossible odds, you pulled the rabbit out of the hat, lady. Anyone listening to those would want to shake your hand. When you’re in upper management, and you will be, no one coming up will be able to say a word against you.”
Jez looked at the floor and said nothing. Claudette intervened. “Are you finished with my friend yet? She has a lot of recovering to do.”
“Okay, we can cut some of the personal relationship talk in the ambulance, but the rest is gold.”
Both women furrowed brows at him, so he clarified. “When Buddy told her how he felt about her.”
“I was unconscious for that.”
He made an O with his mouth. “So I guess you’ll want to hear that part.”
“I would,” the starlet admitted.
“No. Give the device to Benny and let him know you respected his privacy,” Jez said quietly.
As Crusader stood up to leave, Claudette said, “Hey, jerk, I’ll tell you something you missed if you agree to leave my girl alone for a week. That includes my ex.”
“Tell me, and I’ll decide,” he said in flat, cop tones.
“You probably played that recording for a dozen guys and a few more secretaries for transcription. Did you bother to change the password afterward?”
Crusader blanched and ran for the waiting room where he could get a clear signal.
Jez grinned weakly. “Claudette, I’m definitely going to enjoy being your friend, too.”
Chapter 22 – Iron Butterfly
On more than one occasion that week, Jez woke up screaming. Claudette was always there to hold her like she was a little girl, shush in her ear, and make the imag
e of the evil man go away. “He’ll never hurt anyone else ever again.”
Security didn’t pester her, as promised, but Daniel called her the second day. Since the starlet was volunteering in the children’s ward, Jez was grateful for the companionship.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
“I hurt everywhere and I can’t walk to the bathroom on my own yet. I look like an old lady when I move.”
“I play Die, Zombie, Die, but you lived it. You were awesome! Perfect score. I watched the whole way.”
She grinned. He chatted with her about a dozen inconsequential things. His computer programming class had opened up a new world of possibilities. He was making some applications for his desktop to help his searching and tracking efforts. Half the time, his monologues ended up mentioning something endearing about Nena.
“Did you have something you’re avoiding saying?”
“Damn, this is hard enough to ask, but over the phone makes it even harder.”
Her smile bloomed even wider. “Tell her how you feel and start by kissing. Stop at the neck for now. That will build the tension to incredible levels. Let her show you how she likes things. Enjoy every minute of it. When she moans and puts your hand somewhere else, you’ll know what to do.”
The teenage boy was silent for a long time. After a gulp, he said uneasily, “Wow. Not what I was going to ask.”
“Sorry.”
“No, no. Uh, I’m definitely going to give that other thing a try. I meant to get your help with Dirt Bag. With you and Benny out of the way, he’s trying to run everything.”
“Is Benny okay?” she asked.
“Fine, but the Percocet makes him fall asleep a lot. He’ll be better in a few days when the swelling goes down. His hand was all purple and squeezing through the holes in the cast. DB sent him home and gave Tan orders to keep him there. The big guy keeps pushing me to dive at the same rates as when I was with you. But we only have half the staff, and nobody knows what they’re doing. I finally snuck away to phone you.”
Jez breathed out. “Give the phone to your guard.” When he did so a few minutes later, she started belting out orders. “Butterfly here. If I hear Oobie has slipped your watch again, you will become Crusader’s new demonstration dummy for defense class. Make sure there are at least two guards on him at all times. He doesn’t take a leak without you.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Go get Paul from the LA office. Use my auth codes. He’s weak, but serviceable for detecting actives. You guys use him sometimes for door duty. He’ll make a decent pre-filter to eliminate the obvious negatives. Oobie makes fourteen dives a night, no more.”
“But Dirt Bag…”
“Am I stuttering?”
“No, ma’am.”
“If I have to kick your ass myself with these casts on, it’s going to hurt both of us.”
“Yes, sir.”
She almost giggled at the slip. “He’ll be a target, too. Don’t spend more than twenty minutes in any place. Assume that the person beside you has the Fossils on speed dial. Not even a long lunch on the outside, no matter how much Oobie whines. If something smells rotten, you move him to safety and form a wall of people around his scrawny ass.”
“Yes, sir.”
“If he is not there to greet me when I get home…” She paused, unable to think of a convincing threat of violence that she could actually carry out.
“Understood, sir.” He passed the phone back to Oobie.
“Handled,” she said. They chatted pleasantly for another fifteen minutes before hanging up.
Word spread fast in LA. Weiss called her two hours later. “Hey,” she said, conversationally. “You did a great job saving my team. So what’s up, Doc?”
“This Red Giant project is a total skunk works, a colossal hack, held together with bailing wire and spit.”
“Pretend I don’t speak Engineer.”
“These guys burned millions of dollars and worked around the clock to get a prototype to show Dirt Bag, and nothing else. Nothing is reusable or reproducible. It’s all a house of cards, smoke and mirrors. The guy with the page can’t even explain how the star finder works. Most of his work was with the interface to the remote display. There’s no way we can combine it with another page until we can document how this works.”
She sighed. “Start with hiring a couple of cute, hero-worshiping math students who know that Coffee programming language.”
“Java.”
“Whatever. Think people, not tech, for a minute. Have them document the procedures and theory of operation. Hire Kyle Anderson. Compartmentalize. Don’t tell him what the project does, just tell him you need to optimize and productize the software. He’ll tell you what it does and what the structural problems are in a couple days.”
“Architectural,” Dr. Weiss corrected.
“Do you want help, or do you want to be right?”
“Sorry. Uncle Buddy is incommunicado. How do I manage all this budgetary crap?”
“I’ll be taking over the project as soon as I can walk again. I’ll get you your requisition forms by five today.”
“Will Dirt Bag sign off on this?”
“Please. I know the secretary who has the real power. I cut out the middle man. Dirt Bag only cares about results; he’ll forgive almost anything if he sees results in a couple months. I’ll publish a memo to take the heat if anything goes wrong. Anything else?”
The doctor was mollified, even a little impressed. “That’ll suffice. Thank you.”
“You protect my boys, and I’ll have your back. I may not be an MBA, but I can carry water with the best of them. I know who does the real work.”
“You really should be resting,” he admonished.
“I’m going stir crazy already. Besides, these guys just need a little pep talk to get moving in the right direction.”
“I've heard about your pep talks. The agents have already changed your nickname to Iron Butterfly.”
That made Jez laugh. “It’s better than Old Frankenstein Boots.”
One call led to another. The secretary was concerned about the backup in paperwork since Benny disappeared. This gave her an excuse to phone his home number.
Tan picked up. “Miss Jezebel. I hope you are feeling well.”
“Jez. You know me, Tan, I just sleep till I’m better and it’s back to work. You did a good job showing our boy some kick-boxing moves. Do you take other students?”
“I have a dojo, but I do not charge for friends, Miss Jez. If you are here some morning at six, I would be happy to show you as well.”
She blushed. “There’s probably only one way that would happen. As happy as that would make me, it’s not likely to take place any time in the next six weeks. I was actually hoping you would give our guards pointers. We’d pay you for your time.”
“I am flattered by your offer, but I am busy keeping Mister Ben in bed. Once he is safe, I can meet with your trainer and discuss my philosophies.”
“Excellent,” Jez said. Shifting to a meeker tone, she said, “Would Benny be able to talk to me?”
“He fell asleep watching movies. I won’t let him watch news. Even E! gets him worked up. When he wakes, he will be glad to call you back. You need milk and broccoli. Also recommend oyster shells for your bones.”
“You’re sweet. Who is handling Sleeping Beauty’s charity while he's away?”
Tan paused. “Mr. Ben is the driving personality.”
“You work directly under him. This would be an excellent opportunity to show your leadership skills. You know who to stall and how Benny likes things handled.”
“Yes… but I do not feel comfortable…”
“How many people take care of his estate that you handle for him? Who filters his mail? Who signs for packages when he isn’t there, probably most of the time?”
“Point,” Tan said, as if scoring a martial arts tournament.
“So we can count on you? I’ll try to keep the Project running, b
ut he’d be heartbroken if the charity fell apart because some tax form wasn’t filed on time or some donor got offended.”
“We?” Tan pressed.
“I think it is the Chinese that say when a guy carries you out of a torture chamber through a gauntlet of killers, he’s responsible for you for life.”
The kick boxer said, “I see. He did not share these details.”
“Ask him after he takes his drugs,” she joked. “He’ll tell you everything. I can get you clearance.”
“He is not taking the pain medicine anymore. He fears it will become a substitute for alcohol. Neither would I take advantage.”
“Points for you, Tan. I’ll talk to him about the medicine. Keep doing what you’re doing. We appreciate you more than you know. You may mention to Benny that he’s bearing the same injuries you did. If he looks at this as karma, maybe he could let himself off the hook just a little.”
“Miss Jez, I look forward to having you as a student some morning.”
By then, the starlet had returned. Claudette asked her personal coordinator to deliver a new laptop with fingerprint protection. By seven that evening, Jez had downloaded the electronic copy of the James Earl Jones audio Bible and was listening to the story of Ruth while she paged through résumés of people already working for Fortune.
Claudette smiled, listening in from the next bed as she read through fan and business mail. “I recommend Song of Solomon and Exodus next, a balance of smut and history. Although Joshua is probably more your style: spies and butt-kicking.”
When the hospital phone rang, Jez paused the audio book and answered with an abrupt, “Butterfly. Did you get the cost projections on that office space I asked for?”
“You made fun of me for working this late,” Benny said in sexy, low tones that sent a thrill through her.
“Hi,” she said, reverting to the sixteen-year-old version of herself again. Claudette giggled at the change, knowing exactly who was on the other side.
She talked for half an hour without saying anything significant other than convincing him to take his pain medication in order to sleep. When he mentioned something tangentially work-related, she asked, “Do you have a second-in-command for Project duties?”