“Hi.” His voice was liquid sin, a silky rumble that made her heart speed up.
“Hey.” She managed the word without strangling. “You’re up, too?”
“Finishing work in the office. Sometimes I stay up late and do paperwork. Gotta keep on top of things.”
“So that’s why you’ve got dark circles under your eyes. Do you ever sleep late on weekends?”
Alexander looked as if he was thinking back. “Not for the last year. Between contracts we usually have at least a week off. It gives the men a chance to rest.”
“That’s a shame. I mean that the boss doesn’t give himself a break. You can’t keep up this pace forever, can you?”
“I’m hoping as soon as things start to get better that I will.”
“Or maybe you just need to retrain that part of yourself that says it’s all work or something terrible will happen.”
His eyebrows went up. “You’re right. I guess I haven’t figured out how to shut it off.”
“I have ideas. I’ll have to tell you about them.”
He planted his hands on his hips. “Yet you can’t shut your mind off tonight?”
She grinned. “Point taken. I sleep pretty well. At least I have lately. This whole thing with Dominic threw me off.”
“I can imagine. Maybe that’s what’s keeping me up, too. I did some checking with my contacts in law enforcement. He was arrested for domestic violence against a girlfriend in Bangor, but she wouldn’t press charges and it was dropped.”
This news surprised her. “Oh, my God. I didn’t know about that.”
“Yeah. So even if Dominic wasn’t violent in the past, something has changed. Hell, we had evidence of that earlier today.”
“Great.”
He shifted on his feet, his gaze on her intent. “Like I said, I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Take a load off your mind for tonight.”
“Thanks, I will.”
A few seconds of awkward silence stretched until he spoke. “You’ll have to tell me what it was like for you when the panic first started…after the volcano went off. That can’t have been easy.”
Old memories of bad times bombarded her, and she looked at the floor. “No, it wasn’t.” She looked up at him. “But I’ll bet it wasn’t for you, either. Penny was in California. You never talked about that. I mean when you came into the bakery to talk.”
He nodded. “Yeah. Since we’re both awake you want to come up to my apartment and have a drink?”
Surprised, she didn’t answer immediately. Then she said, “Sure. Drink, as in?”
“Whiskey. I don’t have any wine. The whiskey’s been in the cabinet for two years. ’Bout time I broke it open.”
“That long?”
“I vowed years ago never to take a drink when I was stressed. This seems like a good time to have one drink and celebrate being here and alive.”
She smiled. “I agree.”
She followed him out of the room and up the stairs. The whole time her heart banged out a new rhythm. Being around him, feeling this undeniable attraction, she’d started to acknowledge she couldn’t ignore the connection between them. But this was a friendly drink. It wasn’t like he planned to jump her bones or kiss her again. Too much was happening in both their lives to head that direction. Right?
She took a moment to dump her dirty clothes at her apartment, and he’d left his door open a crack. If this didn’t feel clandestine, she didn’t know what would. She grinned as she nudged the door open and peeked inside. He was in the kitchen.
“Come on in,” he said quietly. “I don’t bite.” He grinned. “Most of the time.”
She entered and closed the door. “That’s not what I hear.”
He threw a quizzical glance her way. “Damn, and here I thought I’d covered up my appetite for biting off heads.”
“Nope.” She glanced around the apartment. “Wow.”
“Wow?”
“Somehow I expected your place to be a bit fancier.” She winked at him. “After all, you are the general.”
He grunted and made a face. “Nah. I don’t need anything more than my team needs. The only difference with this place is my love-me wall in the den. And my den is bigger.”
She put her tote bag on an overstuffed chair. “Love-me wall?”
He opened a cabinet and pulled out a tall bottle of whiskey and then went hunting for glasses. “It has all my military crap hanging up. Commendations. Medals. That sort of stuff. I put it all up in there, but right now I don’t think it’s worth diddly. Maybe it never was.”
An uncharacteristic lack of confidence rang in his voice and that surprised and disturbed her. She liked his self-assured manner, the concrete bit that said he’d take care of shit as it came down the pike. Maybe the girly part of her appreciated the cocky male in him.
“You’re very humble for a general,” she said, then quickly qualified with, “Well, okay, you’re the only general I know. I just imagine they have to have great self-confidence to get where they are.”
“True. And for operational things, for the military parts of life I have confidence. It’s the relating to people on a more personal level. That’s the part I’ve had to change about myself.”
“Seems like you’re pretty self-aware these days.”
“I’m giving it my best shot.” As he poured their drinks, he asked, “Small drink or large?”
“Small.”
He handed her a glass of whiskey and poured himself a small glass as well. They wandered to the couch in the living room. When they sank into the dark, soft leather cushions, there wasn’t that much room between them. She didn’t mind, even if his nearness kept her hormones on a pleasant buzz. They both held their glasses and sipped, and the quiet relaxed her.
“This is nice,” she said, staring off into nothing.
“It is. I can’t remember the last time I relaxed like this.”
“That’s too bad, but I understand. When you run your own business it’s like go all day with your hair on fire. But I’m better at remembering how to relax. Six months ago I had to. I realized if I kept going on a crazy schedule I wouldn’t make it.”
After a sip, he put his glass on the side table next to him. “I think you’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever met.”
The genuine admiration in his voice made her look at him. Really look. And there it was again. That honest expression that said he meant every word.
“Thank you, Alexander. I’m…flattered.”
“I think you haven’t been flattered enough in your life. That’s about to change if I have anything to say about it.”
Heat flashed into her face and down through her body. Wow. “Okay.”
He smiled. “Good.”
She realized her breath was stuck in her chest, so she took a slow and measured inhale. She cupped both hands around the glass and took another taste of whiskey.
“You wanted to know what it was like for me when the volcano went up,” she said.
“Yeah.” After moving his drink to the coffee table in front of them, he shifted and lifted his right knee up onto the couch and his right arm onto the back of the couch.
His full-on attention gratified her. Dominic had always looked somewhere else when she talked. She’d never felt certain he was listening half the time.
“I was in the bakery making a cake for a wedding when the news came on over the radio. I usually had some classical music going in the background.” Her muscles tightened at the memory. “In a way I wasn’t surprised by what had happened. We were warned.”
Seismologists and others in the field had told them a few months ahead that the volcano was likely to erupt. All the signs were there.
“Didn’t make it any less horrible,” he said.
“No. We just stopped working, but customers were coming in.” She drew in a deep breath and took another drink. “We returned to work, but the news filtered in and…well, you know the rest. Every day I just pushed on, pushe
d forward. It was a bitch. My two employees quit. One girl had parents in Utah and wanted to go back there and find them. I wish she hadn’t left, but I couldn’t convince her to stay.”
“Did you hear from her again?”
Tears prickled her eyes. “No. I have no idea what happened.” She drew in another breath. “I’ve had to stop worrying about her. I think about her from time to time and I hope she’s well.”
She went silent and so did he for quite some time.
“What about your other employee?” he asked eventually.
“He moved to Portland, Maine to help his family there and I’ve heard from him. He’s in good shape.”
“At least there’s that. What kept you going? Living alone in that house when the country was coming apart at the seams.”
She shook her head. “I’m not sure. I know one thing I’ve discovered. When the chips are down I’m a hell of a lot tougher than I thought I was. I guess in a way the super volcano was good for me. Maybe I never would’ve realized what I had in me if the disaster hadn’t struck.”
His brow furrowed for a moment. “Maybe I wouldn’t have either. I mean, realized what I had in me.”
She reflected for a moment before continuing. “You must have been out of your mind when it hit and you knew Penny was still in California.”
His expression held pain and regret. “I knew she’d left in time to escape the initial blast. I’d warned her and she’d already made plans to leave. Even though I knew she was on her way, I wanted to race across the country to get to her. I wanted to snatch my baby girl out of danger and I couldn’t. It was two weeks of going out of my mind.”
Alexander’s eyes clouded with memories, and her heart ached for him. When they’d chatted at her bakery they’d never spoken in this much detail about what he’d endured when Penny had crossed the country.
“That must have been horrible,” she said. “The worry…I never had children. Dominic didn’t want any and truthfully I didn’t feel I should bring any children into this world with Dominic as a father. But I can imagine what you felt.”
“It was damned acute. I thought some days I’d go out of my mind. When I realized she’d made it to Bangor, to her mother’s old condo that I still owned…” He shrugged. “I sat in my office and just stared at the wall for an hour. The relief was overwhelming. I bawled for the first time since I was a boy.”
She took a bigger swallow of whiskey. “I’m so glad she made it. She’s a wonderful woman.”
His smile was full of pride. “Yeah, and I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to her for what I didn’t do when she was a child. I’m lucky she turned out so well.”
Patty decided to push a bit. “You can stop beating yourself up. You’re an excellent father now. You love her, she loves you and she’s forgiven you. Enjoy what you have in the present.”
He grinned again. “Good advice. I sometimes think the biggest mistake I made was what happened before she went to California.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’d moved to California after her mother committed suicide. I was out of town on work when her mother died.”
“Oh, my God. You were already divorced, right?”
“Yes. Penny tried to get me on the cell phone and I was in meetings and didn’t answer. She rushed to Sentry Security to see if I was here. She found Ian. I came back about that time and caught them in the storage closet downstairs.”
Her mouth opened. She didn’t know what to say at first. “Caught them? As in…?”
“Not quite, but they were going to.” He reached for his whiskey, looked into the glass and slugged the rest down. “Anyway, she explained to me that she grabbed Ian for comfort and things got out of hand. I was pissed at them both and fired Ian. Penny split after that. She wouldn’t have been in California if I’d acted like a sane man and just let it be. Just let Penny and Ian be together.”
“Right.” She knew the latter part of the story, partly from rumors floating around town. “But you were trying to protect Penny initially. I can understand that. And here’s another thought. If they’d done things right they would have gotten together after that despite your approval.”
“True. I hadn’t thought of that.”
“So,” she said, “they needed the break even if it was a long one to get their…I’ll just say it…their shit together.”
He shook his head and closed his eyes a minute. “You’ve got things figured out. You’re absolutely right.”
“My guess is even if Penny hadn’t moved to California, she and Ian might not have gotten together because they were putting too much effort into denying what they felt.”
“Right again. When Ian went to Bangor to rescue Penny from those thugs, that cemented their relationship. When they returned here, I could tell he loved her and she loved him.”
They went quiet, and she felt the comfort of that silence envelop her. Never in her life had she experienced such a sweet connection with a man. A gentle thread pulled tight between them, and the idea of that bridge breaking in any way filled her heart with sadness.
She broke the silence. “This world is so different. So fragile. Our country has a long, long way to go before we’re anything like we used to be. Before we’re strong enough to be that way again.”
“We’ll do it. I’ve got that confidence.” She knew he was right. Some things had worsened over the year while others had improved.
His gaze moved over her in a way that concealed nothing. He was eating her up. Part of her didn’t understand why. A ratty, baggy old green sweatshirt with a moth-eaten hole at the neckline and equally large matching sweatpants did not a Victoria’s Secret model make. Alexander had looked at her like this before, especially in the last couple of days. Yet every time he did, that male intent seemed stronger.
She was tired of it. Yeah, she’d grown cautious over the last year. Alpha males were heavy on the ground in Buckleport. A surge of soldiers and law enforcement had been activated after the disaster. Some of them were a bit predatory. She still hadn’t noted any of them looking at her like this. She was so done with wondering what he was thinking, and decided right there and then to call him on it and see where the chips fell.
“What is this between us, Alexander? Are we just friends?”
His chest heaved up and down, and she saw something serious blossom in his eyes. “Patty, I feel like what you and I have…I don’t want to lose that. Ever. I’ve never felt like this around another woman.”
Her heart cracked wide open, the softness, the tenderness in his words blew her away. “Alexander, that’s…I feel that way, too.”
So she made a move. A brave decision she hoped would bring them even closer together. She scooted across the couch until they were side by side. She reached to cup the side of his face. He leaned in, his gorgeous eyes telling her with heat how much he liked what she’d done. He gathered her in his arms and drew her close and she melted. He felt so delicious, so good. His mouth found hers, this time not at all tentative. A rush of heat flooded her center as she met his kiss with passion. In his embrace there was heat, hardness and power. Sheltering in his arms was a haven where a different danger resided. One that guaranteed once she’d tasted him she could never escape the memory of how it felt. Delicious need gripped her. Warmth built in her loins, her nipples going hard. She hadn’t been this turned on in she couldn’t remember when. She palmed his cheeks and the bristle of his five-o’clock shadow teased her skin. Everything feminine in her appreciated this incredible man.
He broke from the kiss only long enough to tease the side of her neck with kisses, sending a tingle dancing over her sensitive skin. She shivered in delight as he tasted her earlobe. He was so damned gentle, tracking a tender path over her face, placing bit by bit kisses over her forehead, her cheeks and chin. She ached, that tender area between her legs moist and already wanting him. An agonizing stretch of time seemed to flow by as he took her on a sensual journey. Every movement, every t
ouch took her to another level. One kiss melded into another and another.
His tongue met hers, and the zap of desire made her move and moan. As if someone had thrown gasoline on the fire, he moved and before she knew it, she straddled his lap. His palms slipped into her baggy sweats and under her panties to cup her naked butt cheeks. He squeezed.
Oh. Oh.
His hard thighs spread her legs just enough, and she settled firmly on the rock-hard erection under his jeans. Her eyes flew open and stared into his. Before she could say a word he brought her back into a kiss. Moments dissolved into minutes, their kisses fervent. With small movements she rode him, rubbing her clit against his hardness. Her breathing came faster, her body eager to reach a peak.
He broke from their kisses long enough to gasp out, “Easy, darlin’, or this will go too fast.”
With a smile, she eased off his lap. He rose to his feet, the blaze in his eyes telling her they hadn’t finished. He reached out and she took his hand.
“Tell me to stop and I’ll stop,” he said. “You never have to be afraid of me.”
Throat tight with emotion, she said, “I’m not afraid.”
“Good.”
He drew her toward the hallway. When he pushed open the bedroom door, he flipped on the light. A low glow came from a lamp near the bed.
Feeling more sexually daring than she’d ever felt in her life, she stopped by the bed. He drew her into his arms and to another kiss, hotter and deeper. Every stroke of his tongue against hers sent a new firestorm into her blood. Allowing her body to take over, she tugged at the bottom of his sweater and urged it upwards. He left their kiss and drew the sweater over his head.
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