by Karina Halle
“I think you would be good at that,” he said. “You have a way of seeing people.”
I traced my fingers across his chest, making swirls and waves. “I like the idea of giving hope. That you can capture the world in such a way that even the ugly things look beautiful.”
The beauty in what was real.
He kissed my head and cleared his throat. “Now. About that blow job?”
I punched him again.
Then I gave him one.
Of course.
I woke up in the middle of the night with a light headache and my stomach grumbling. I hadn’t really eaten anything for the last few days. I had been basically fasting when I was in the jungle, only eating when I had the chance and coasting by on adrenaline the rest of the time, so now that I was back in California and still a pile of nerves, my appetite was slow to come back.
But when it did come back, it was back with a vengeance. As I rolled out of bed, careful not to wake Camden who was snoring lightly, I put my hand to my rumbling stomach and had a silly yet hopeful thought that perhaps I was already pregnant and this was my body telling me so.
I grabbed my robe and slipped it on, a cool, ocean breeze coming in through the open windows smelling of night-blooming Jasmine, and made my way downstairs to the kitchen. I popped two pieces of toast in the toaster, poured myself a glass of water and opened the drawer where I had stashed a bottle of Ibuprofen earlier in the day.
I shook two orange pills into my hand and raised it up to my mouth.
My eyes went to the kitchen window.
There was a man in the reflection.
Grinning.
Behind me.
Javier.
I opened my mouth to scream but he was fast and he grabbed me around the waist with one arm, his hand going over my mouth with the other. I dropped the pills to the floor where they clattered, praying that Camden could hear that but I didn’t think he could from where our bedroom was.
Javier pressed his hand hard into me and started bringing me backward, his hot breath at my neck. There was only one second where I felt a slice of relief that he was still alive. But that quickly vanished. Now I wanted him dead. I wanted Travis to have finished him off. I wanted my gun to have had one more bullet in it. Because, no matter what I thought of Javier before, I knew now that he was here for a terrible reason.
All bets were off.
No more promises.
I struggled, trying to kick out with my legs, to knock over a jar full of cooking spoons, hoping to cause more noise but it was impossible. Javier pulled me out of the kitchen, practically dragging me into the next room, the one-car garage we had.
Dark.
Small.
Practically soundproof.
Not good.
He managed to quietly close the door behind him, shutting us in the garage together, the smell of oil and dust assaulting me, as well as Javier’s distinctive musk which made the whole thing that much more terrifying. I breathed hard against his hand and he leaned back against the door, his arm around my stomach and legs growing tighter and tighter.
“Shhh,” he whispered in my ear, lips touching my lobe. “Shhhh, angel. Keep quiet. Calm down. I promise I won’t hurt you.”
That meant nothing anymore.
I could hear his lips against teeth, smiling. “So you think you could just leave me alone to die, yes?”
You left me, you sick son of a bitch. I wished there was light in the garage so I could see the closest weapon but there was nothing. It was completely pitch black. Dark as sin. And the only sound was my heart pounding and Javier’s breathing in my ear.
“This was after, of course, you pulled the trigger.” He sucked in his breath. “You know, angel, that really hurt me. That really changed … everything. You were the one person I thought wouldn’t betray me. And yet you tried to kill me. How do you think that made me feel? I lost my sister. And then I lost you.”
He suddenly took his hand away and put it at my neck, wrapping it around until I could feel the grooves he was creating. I gasped for air, to scream, but only pitiful sounds came out.
“To think I wasted …” I eked out, my face turning red, “tears on you.”
His grip tightened and he lifted me slightly off the ground, just for a moment, just to let me know he could hang me if he wanted. I couldn’t speak anymore. I couldn’t even get in one breath.
“And to think I wasted tears on you,” he snarled, suddenly malicious. He breathed sharply through his nose and I could tell he was pulling himself together. Trying to be calm. In control. Always in control. “But this is for the best. I can see that. We were never meant to be. You were never as strong as I thought you were. Such a shame though. You had such dirty wings. Such promise. Power makes the world go around, angel. It keeps you alive when you should be dead. Don’t you want that immortality? Or are you so happy with a boring, ordinary life? With a boring, ordinary man?”
I felt my heart slowing, the veins in my head about to burst. Then he slowly released his hand and gave me two seconds to wheeze and try and get the air back in before he covered up my mouth with his hand again. I fought against his palm but he held me hard while his other hand began to ease my robe aside.
I froze like a deer in headlights as his palm slid down my bare middle.
“You know I can give you what you need,” he murmured. “You know I always have. I can make you come just by touching you, even now.”
My eyes widened and his hand moved down between my legs, fingers going over my clit.
“Not very wet,” he remarked in a low, careful voice. “You must have missed me. Missed my touch.”
And he knew all the right places to touch, the right places to tease. Still, I felt nothing in my heart. And my body, my body only wanted to run and flee. I wanted to tear off my skin and burn it. He felt like a monster, a wicked reptile of cold leathery scales, a creature from my darkest dreams. He would not win me over here.
Perhaps if I let him think he did …
I relaxed into his touch, hoping I could feed his delusion. Not too much that he’d catch on. But just enough. I willed my breathing and my heart to slow and leaned slightly into him.
“That’s my angel,” he said, and I could feel his erection growing against my ass. His hand loosened on my mouth and I took the opportunity. I bit down hard on his hand and he yelped, letting go of me. I went for the door but he was at my side knocking me hard to the ground, my head banging against the cold concrete. Everything began to spin, stars and streams went around my head, and I lost precious seconds trying to get up.
By the time I struggled to get to my feet, my bad leg collapsing under me, I heard the shake of metal, the rip of duct tape. I screamed for Camden before Javier grabbed me by the hair at the top of my head and yanked me toward him, spinning me around and slamming my head against the door, his fingers finding my mouth. He stuck the duct tape across my lips.
“Camden can’t hear you now,” he whispered in the dark.
My heart sank at that. Had I been a fool to think that Javier was the only one in the house?
The light in the garage went on. Javier had one hand against it, the other gripped around my elbow. I eyed the shelves in the garage, spying a hammer and went for it but he dived into me and I went flying into them. Just before they toppled onto me he yanked me backward and out of the way and stuck a handcuff around one wrist.
What are you going to do with me? I tried to say through the tape but it came out all garbled.
Javier smiled. He understood perfectly. And I was able to get my first good look at him. He looked almost the same, maybe in a more expensive suit, all black, his hair shorter and neatly trimmed, showing off the streaks of grey that were threaded through it, and he had a shiny new gold watch on his wrist. He reeked of power and deceit. Of confidence.
I could only guess as to what that meant.
“Oh, you poor thing?” he said with mock sympathy. “You really think I came here for y
ou?”
Quick as a whip he spun me around and stuck the other cuff around the passenger door handle of the Mini Cooper. I collapsed against the door, slumping to the ground.
He walked over to a camping cooler in the corner and pulled it out to me, scraping loudly on the cement. He took a seat on it like we were about to have a little chat and brought out a gun from his inner jacket pocket, looking it over in his hands. My eyes watched it fearfully. I was dumbstruck with complete and utter terror.
He looked up and frowned at me. “I told you angel, I’m not going to hurt you. I only came here to do a little business transaction.”
I stiffened and he grinned at me.
“Oh don’t worry,” he said. “I’m not after your money. I’ve never cared much for that. No, what I’m after are men. Manpower. Power. Freedom. The chance to win.” He sighed and looked around him with distaste. “You could have been living with me. You could have had it all. Instead you’re in a shithole in America. Do you know where I am now? I have the most beautiful house you could ever imagine, with views as far as the eye can see. I have privilege now. More than that, I have … prestige. What Violetta said about me having a cartel nobody cares about? Oh, I wish she could see me now. I took over for Travis. And more than that, I took over from the Morales. I am at the top. Where I always should have been.” He leaned forward, elbows on knees and looked me dead in the eye, face completely serious. “Where you should have been. Angel. Where the fuck did we go wrong?”
Where do I begin? But what was the point. You could tell Javier something a million times but unless he saw the reason, unless he believed it, it didn’t matter. If he thought the sky was red instead of blue, it would be red. Everything I could throw in his face he would justify in some psychopathic way.
“I really did love you,” he said softly. Then he straightened up and his eyes were unreadable. Blank. “But there are some things in this world more important than love. Some things that last longer. Empires. You build something great, something large, something that gets people’s attention and you’re remembered forever. You love a girl, give her your heart, and you won’t be remembered six years later. Love doesn’t last. But empires do. They go on. And on. And on. Even if just in history books.”
He got up and started deliberately pacing back and forth, toying with the gun. I had to wonder if Camden was okay. Because if he wasn’t … God help me.
“Let me tell you a thing about cartels,” he said with an air of superiority. “It’s all about expansion. And you get to expand by thinking ahead. Mexico is bloody. Mexico is war. But I love it. So what do I do? I go across the border and find the itty-bitty American bloods and gangs and their pussy-whipped drug trades and grow-ops and I take over. I get here first, before the Baja Cartel. Before the Gulf. I expand. I get more drugs, more people, more money. I just had the tiny asshole opening of Mississippi before. Now I have Southern California. Or, at least I’m trying. There’s a rather large operation that needs, um, how do you say, lubrication? Though you never needed that with me, did you angel?” He stopped right in front of me, his dark, greasy shoes spotless against the dirty concrete floor. “Look at me when I’m talking to you.”
I slowly raised my head, not because he told me to but because if he was going to do anything I wanted to see it.
His lips twisted into a sick smile. “So, I need the grease to get this deal going. Let’s call it a peace offering. You see, the Madano brothers were really upset when Camden got away on them, so I figure if I brought him back and handed him over, well they’d be more likely to do business with me.”
My eyes widened, heart hammering with fear until the room started getting fuzzy.
“I know you don’t like that,” he went on, “and I’m sorry. But I did tell you to never get close too close to anything. To anyone. I was just trying to spare your heart from the inevitable. I had my sights on Camden from the moment I saw him in Mexico. Once I found out the lengths you’d go to save your Gus, it all … fell into place. And I wouldn’t be where I am right now if I didn’t act on opportunity. I know you knew that once. How important opportunity was to life.”
He watched me for a few moments but I gave him nothing but the horror that was surely on my face. He sighed and threw his arms up. “All right then. I guess we’re done here.”
He walked to me and put his hand on the side of my cheek and stared me right in the eye. “Take care of yourself, Ellie.” He kissed my forehead and started walking toward the door. Then he stopped and brought his fingers to his nose, sniffing them. “Smells like you.” He licked his tongue along his index finger. “Still tastes like you, too.” He smiled at me, pleased with himself. “I’ll make sure to show Camden, see if he agrees with me.”
Fucking hell.
Fucking hell!
I started screaming, my cries muffled by the duct tape and tried to get my hand out of the handcuff. Javier walked to the door, tossing me one last look over his shoulder before he stepped out into the kitchen and disappeared. I stopped struggling and listened, heard Javier going up the stairs and then heard Camden yelling, just once, a swear, like “You fuck”, something raw and primal, pure rage, and I could only imagine what Javier was telling him, that he did stuff to me.
Tears started flowing down my face, my heart being swallowed by my chest. I heard someone being dragged down the stairs, the low voices of Javier and someone else. Then the front door slammed. A car started down the street and then was gone.
My man was gone.
And I was alone.
I hadn’t kept him safe.
I allowed myself to cry for Camden for one full minute, counting down from sixty through the tears, trying to keep breathing properly through my nose. When I hit zero, I got to my feet. I looked around the garage and began to think.
There was the hammer and tools that had been knocked over earlier, only a few feet from the farthest reach of my feet. Maybe I could either hammer off the door handle on the Cooper or hammer my handcuff. But getting to the hammer was a problem.
I took in a deep breath and a tried to wrap both hands around the door handle. I tried to pull the Mini Cooper toward the hammer and struggled stupidly. Of course I couldn’t drag it on my own, it weighed like 2,000 lbs.
But if it were placed in neutral …
I took off the robe and wrapped part of it around my free elbow. Then I took a step back as far as I could go, steadied my aim and brought my elbow down into the passenger window with one sharp jab. Glass shattered everywhere and I knew my arm was bleeding even with the thick robe’s protection but at least the window was broken. I quickly used the robe to wipe away the rest of the glass fragments, then draped it over the edge of the door to protect myself when I reached over and popped the car into neutral. Then I wrapped my shoulder in the extra fabric and began to push the car forward, the pressure of my whole body on the door frame.
The Cooper slowly inched forward until the fender was pushing aside the fallen shelves. I was finally close enough. I stretched my bad leg out since it could reach the furthest and pulled the hammer toward me. I let out a giddy little cry once I was able to pick it up in my hands. I had a few jabs at the handcuff but kept missing and nearly getting my hand, so I went for the door handle instead. Turns out, BMW does not construct door handles to withstand blows from a hammer and after the tenth blow, the metal clanged loose to the ground and I was free.
Free.
With no fucking idea of what to do next.
Javier had Camden and was going to do an exchange with the Madano brothers. I had no idea what would happen to Camden after that. But I had a feeling I knew someone who would.
I quickly raced upstairs as fast as I could with my leg, threw on a pair of jeans, my special boots and a tight tee-shirt then pulled all the guns we had out of the closet. I stuck a revolver in my boots with my knife, then grabbed a pistol with a silencer and stuck that down the back of my jeans. I went downstairs and grabbed the note pad I’d been writing in
, ripping off the top sheet, the one with Sophia’s address on it, then ripped out another and scribbled in giant letters a note for Gus, leaving it right on the kitchen table.
Go Get Ben! It said.
I didn’t want Gus coming after us or involving himself. But with what I was about to do, Ben needed to be kept safe and I didn’t have time to do it. I had to go after Camden. He may have been Javier’s priority but he was also mine.
I only hoped it wasn’t too late.
I scampered back into the garage, opened the garage door, and revved the battered Mini Cooper. I peeled backward out of the building and ripped down the street.
Heading to Pasadena.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
I pulled the car up to Sophia’s house just before dawn was breaking, face raw and ragged from the wind that blasted through the broken window, my knuckles sore from the sweaty grip on the steering wheel. I prayed that Ben and her both knew how to sleep in because I wanted as little struggle as possible.
The fact that I was about to do this was nuts.
But with Camden on the line, it didn’t really matter. I would do what I had to do. Even the ugly things.
I eased out of the car and managed to sneak around to the back of the house, which faced onto the golf course, careful not to trip over Ben’s wayward toy dump trucks and his sandbox. The back door was an easier lock to pick with less people to spot me. I got the door open in no time and slowly crept inside. The floor was cheap linoleum and silent underneath my feet. There were night lights lining the hallway which made it better for me, casting the area in a blue glow. I passed a laundry room and a playroom, and a room with the door open. That had to be Ben’s. I swallowed my apprehension and kept going. The room next to that was a bathroom and then there was another room with the door open only a crack. Beyond that it was the living room and dining room and the foyer. I paused at the room with the door slightly ajar and debated how to do this.