by Kim Jones
The back of my head hums with a mild pain from being repeatedly slammed into the wall behind me. My throat hurts from the cries of pleasure he pulls from me. But, I’ll endure it forever, as long as he keeps fucking me like this. I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling my climax build. When I come, my whole body explodes in rapture, heating me with a fiery storm of bliss that’s felt deep within the walls of my pussy and everywhere else his body touches me.
Regg stills inside of me. Burying his face in my neck, I feel his lips on me, making sparks ignite inside me once again. Slowly, he pulls out of me. Unwrapping my legs from around him, I stand.
“Ouch! Shit!” I yell, picking my foot back up. Regg follows my eyes down to the floor where I’m standing on one foot. Picking me back up, he carries me to the bar. The music has stopped and the only sound in the room is the crushing of glass beneath his boots. “Don’t touch it!” I scream like a baby. He raises an eyebrow at me, in a silent dare to yell at him one more time.
Gently, he takes my foot in his hand, rubbing his thumb over the bottom of it until I flinch. I watch as he pulls his knife from his pocket. The sight of it has my head spinning and I hold tighter to the edge of the bar. I close my eyes, trusting him not to cut my toes off. A small pinch later, he tells me I’m good. Having to see for myself, I pull my foot up to my face to examine it. I have all five toes and nothing seems to be missing. I’m not even bleeding. It’s embarrassing. A huge gash would have made me feel better about being such a tit.
“Better?” he asks, his expression amused.
“I might survive.” I look around the room again, feeling my heart melt a little more when I remember that he did this for me. “Thank you.” I look down at my hands, suddenly shy. Nobody has ever done anything so nice for me before. It’s like my very own private paradise. “Life’s hard ya know? I’m not one to ask for pity, but sometimes it sucks getting dealt a shitty hand in life. This,” I say, motioning with my hand around the room. “Is something I’ve only ever dreamed about. I can never thank you enough.” He comes to stand between my legs, resting his arms on either side of me so that we’re face to face.
“I’ll build you a million more if that’s what you want. I’ll spend every dime I have making you happy. I know you’ve had a shitty life. But, the hard part’s over, Red. All you have to do now is just let me love you.” Tears swell in my eyes at his words. He loves me. I mean, he didn’t say it in those words, but the look in his eyes tells me he does. I want to tell him I love him. I want to tell him how much he means to me and how I can’t imagine living another day without being with him. But, I can’t find the courage to say the words.
“You know I’d never tell you to do anything that you didn’t want to do.” I nod my head, unsure of where in the hell he’s going with this. “And I’d never tell you to say something that I know you don’t want to say.” Oh shit. Now, I know where it’s going. I start shaking my head. He can’t force me to tell him I love him.
“Tell me you love me, Red.” I laugh nervously, looking around the room for an escape. If I told him, it would make this, what we have, official. There would be no going back. That is a huge step. I can’t do it. I just can’t.
“No, I can’t,” I say, shaking my head unable to meet his eyes. He pulls my chin up, but I squeeze my eyes closed, refusing to look at him.
“Red.” It’s a warning. One so powerful that I feel my eyes open, but I bite my lips so I can’t speak.
“Tell me you love me.” He needs this. He’s given me everything I’ve asked for and so much more. Now, I need to give him something in return. They are just words. He knows I love him-how could I not?
His eyes stare intently into mine-trying to read what’s going through my head. The moment he notices my resolve, his lip curls up into his infamous, sexy smile.
“Don’t be so sure of yourself there, Regg. I’m only telling you because I’m scared not to.” I joke, feeling the tension leave my shoulders.
“I don’t care what your reason is. I just want to hear you say it.” He narrows his eyes at me, daring me to back out like the chicken shit I am. But today, I found myself again, and the girl he met a year ago, wasn’t scared of anything.
“I love you, Regg. More than heroin, vodka and dancing.” My confession earns me a laugh.
“That’s a lot.” I smile, waiting on him to say the words back to me. I feel like a kid who’s just asked the cute boy on the playground if he likes me. We’re so stupid.
I’m still waiting and he’s still staring, trying to read my mind. Maybe he didn’t hear me. Since I’ve already said it once, it wouldn’t kill me to say it again. I clear my throat and give him an expectant look.
Nothing.
He pulls away from me, grabbing my boots and slipping them on my feet before helping me down from the bar. Wrapping me in his jacket, he takes my hand and leads us outside to the truck. Ushering me in, he folds me into his side, acting as if the silence isn’t at all unusual. Unable to keep my mouth shut any longer, I turn to him.
“Do you love me, Regg?” I ask, feeling my heart beat heavy in my chest in anticipation of his answer.
“Yes.” There is no hesitation.
“Then tell me.”
“Tell you what?” I want to claw his fucking eyeballs out. He is so infuriating!
“Tell me you love me,” I demand, having the sudden urge to kick something.
“Make me tell you.” The challenge in his eyes and the smirk on his face is enough to have me yelling in frustration.
“You are such an asshole!”
“Why am I the asshole? I had to force it out of you. What makes you so much better than me? Why do you deserve to hear it when I didn’t?” He has a point, and it pisses me off. I get what he’s playing at.
“How about I beat the shit outta you? Set your house on fire? Key your truck? Turn all your chickens loose? Would that be enough?” He laughs and it makes me want to punch him in the nuts.
“You can try. Don’t worry, Red. If I know you, you’ll come up with something.” He had no idea. I’d make him tell me, and I knew exactly what I possessed that would have him saying anything I wanted him to.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Operation ‘Tell Me You Love Me’ Is a Go
It’s been seven days since I first told Regg I love him. Every time I promise myself I won’t say it to him until he tells me first, I wind up caving. I’m such a pushover when it comes to him. He has me right where he wants me, and he knows it. Just a look from him has me confessing my love over and over.
I’ve tried everything.
Monday-No Sex.
“Damn, baby. You look sexy as fuck,” Regg said, coming up behind me in the kitchen. I was wearing a corset, heals and nothing else. Shaking my ass against him, I could feel him hardening. I let him lay me across the table, eat me like I was the turkey at Thanksgiving dinner, get completely naked, then I made my first attempt.
“Tell me you love me,” I whimpered, rocking my hips against his fingers that were buried inside of me.
“You know I do.” His voice was low and rough; another sign that told me Regg was completely turned on and at my mercy.
“Say the words,” I demanded, trying to keep my mind focused on the prize. It was hard considering he had me on the verge of orgasm number two.
“Get on your knees.” I was on the floor in the kitchen, on my knees before I realized my mistake. I quickly moved around so that I was sitting on my ass.
“Tell me you love me.” This time, my words are said a little harsher. Damn him for making me do this.
“Not gonna work, babe.”
“Look, honey,” I said, digging deep to lace my voice with malice. “I hold the key to your happiness, so you better tell me what I want to hear.”
“You’re wrong, honey. I hold the key to your happiness. And it’s a skeleton key, it’ll fit any lock.”
Regg-1 Red-0
Tuesday-Wreck shit
I practically destroyed hi
s man cave. I’d built a bad-ass fort using his pool table, strewn my clothes from one end of the room to the other and left candy wrappers, glasses, plates and a half-eaten sandwich for him to find when he got home from the farm.
“What the fuck happened to my house?” I feigned a look of fear, but on the inside I was smiling. When he stomped off to his room, I was sure I had him. When he ran back down the stairs less than an hour later, he was in a panic. Seeing him in a panic had me panicking too.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, already on my feet.
“Have you seen my granddaddy’s watch? It was by the T.V.” I moved through the den like a mad woman, picking shit up in hopes of finding the lost watch. After everything was cleaned, I had my head buried under the couch doing my second thorough search when I heard the T.V. come on. I looked up to find Regg completely relaxed, watching the hunting channel.
“Did you find it?” I asked, already forgiving him for not telling me.
“Find what?”
“Your granddaddy’s watch.”
“My granddaddy never had a watch. But, he would be proud to know I have a woman who keeps a clean house.” That motherfucker.
Regg-2 Red-0
Wednesday-Food
I cooked breakfast and served it to him in bed.
Nothing.
Lunch was served to him at the farm.
Nothing.
Dinner was served at the table with candles and a paper menu with me listed as dessert.
Nothing.
Dinner also had a few ex-lax tablets in the meatloaf.
It wasn’t a total win, but I’m counting myself a point anyway.
Regg-3 Red-1
Thursday-Classic Country
Old Violin was on the radio when he walked downstairs that morning. He danced with me and we re-enacted the scene from the clubhouse months ago. I made my move as soon as I saw an opening.
“I said, Regg. Tell me you love me.” My words are said in unison with the words spoken in the song. When the music began and Regg kissed me, I thought I’d won. Then, when the speaking started again, I knew I’d lost.
“I said, Red. You already know I do. But you need to try a little harder, if you want me to say them to you.”
Regg-4 Red-1
Friday-Sticky note hell
It took me three tries to convince Brooklyn to bring them, but finally she arrived with a stack of five hundred sticky notes. I made up some bullshit excuse about why I needed them so bad, but she never pushed the subject. My best guess was that she really didn’t give a shit about the reason.
Three hours later, I had all five hundred plastered around the house with the words ‘Tell me you love me’ handwritten on them.
Regg acted like he didn’t notice them, but sometime during the night, he found a way to respond to every, single note.
“No.”
Regg-5 Red-1
It’s Saturday and I’m out of play. I’ve never been one to back down from a challenge, but this shit was getting ridiculous. A knock at the door reminds me of my date with Todd and 007. Regg is out with the club, and I’m relieved that I won’t have to see that shit eating grin on his face today.
“You okay?” Todd asks, eyeing me warily.
“I’m fine. It’s stupid, really. Can I tell you?” I needed him, this sixteen year old boy. After all, this was shit that people his age normally did.
“Um, I guess.” Immediately, I tell him everything. It only takes about ten minutes before I’m finished. Looking at me like I’m crazy, he gives me the obvious solution. “Just ignore him.”
“I can’t. You don’t understand. I don’t like to lose,” I whine, not even getting a little satisfaction when I beat him in our first round.
“No, seriously. Ignore him. Regg can’t stand that. He’ll cave in a matter of hours.” Todd was a fucking genius. I tackle him with a hug, leaving him looking very uncomfortable. I don’t care. Regg might have won the battles, but I was fixing to win the war.
Two hours into the silent treatment and sure enough, Regg is about to snap. He’s gone from playful, to furious to downright sad since he’s gotten home. I manage to keep a sad look on my own face, never once letting him see me smile.
“Babe, please. Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.” I want to say ‘you know what’s wrong,’ but I know I can’t. That would be like starting over. “I’m not gonna stay here if you ain’t gonna talk to me.” Silence.
“What do you want? You want to go for a ride?” He paces in front of the T.V., running his hands under his cap in frustration.
“You want to dance?” Nope, Regg. That ain’t it either. He paces a few more minutes before letting out a growl of frustration. “I fucking hate to lose.” Coming to kneel in front of me, he puts his hands on my legs, fighting hard to look me in the eye.
“I love you. I love you more than Harleys, Chevys and pussy.” I smile in victory, leaning in to give him a kiss before speaking to him for the first time today.
“That’s a lot.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Freedom, Threats and Maddie
Ninety days. I was only forced to spend ninety days with Regg. Today, marks the one hundred and second day I’ve been with him. Time has no meaning to me anymore. There is no place I’d rather be than right here with him.
Yesterday, he asked me to move in permanently. I thought I already had, but I guess this made it official. I only had a few loose ends to tie up like moving, selling my trailer and getting my car. A couple hours ago, Regg dropped me off at my old house to pack while he went to Luke’s for a club meeting, or church as they call it.
Now, standing on the threadbare carpet of my old living room, I wonder how in the hell I did it. The place stinks. The odor is a mixture between Doritos and feet. I was fucking disgusting. Wallpaper peeling away at the corners of the old walls. The floor vents are rusty and some were even missing. I’ve already about broke my ankle twice since I’ve been here.
I crank up the stereo on the wall, the only good thing about the place. I start packing up a bookshelf, dancing to the music that is so loud I almost miss the knock on the door. Figuring it’s a neighbor, I turn down the volume before answering, prepared to offer an apology for the noise to whoever is on the other side.
“Don’t you look good.” On my steps is not a neighbor. It’s Chip. I nearly choke to death, trying to find words to say to him. “May I come in?” Memories of the last time I saw him come flooding back. The asshole drugged me and almost had me raped.
“Fuck no, you can’t come in. What in the hell are you even doing here, Chip?” His charming smile spreads across his face as he removes his glasses so I have a clear view of his dilated pupils.
“I hear you’re off of lockdown.” His smooth talking repulses me.
“Like you care. You left me in a hotel after you almost forced me to have sex with your friend.” He frowns, shaking his head like he doesn’t quite remember it like that.
“I’m sorry about that, Red. I never would have made you do that. You know me.”
“Yeah, that’s the fucking problem. I know you. Leave Chip, or I’m gonna call the cops.” He doesn’t know I don’t have a phone. But, his evil smile tells me that he just might.
“No need. I just came to offer you an opportunity of a lifetime. I’m opening a club. I want you to be my featured girl. I guarantee six figures in the first year.” He has to be kidding me. No way was I going anywhere with him.
“I’m not into that life anymore. I’m clean, I’m in a relationship and the only dancing I do is at my house.” I almost smile as I say the words out loud. Who needs a strip club when you have a studio like mine?
“That’s great, Red. I’m happy for you. You look really good. Better than ever. If you change your mind, here’s my card.” I take the card from his fingers, shoving it in my back pocket without even giving it a second look. Slamming the door in Chip’s face, I give him the same courtesy.
“You ready, beautiful?” R
egg asks, loading up the last box in the back of his truck.
“Yeah, I’m leaving the other shit. I don’t need it.” I pull my keys out of my purse, praying like hell that my car will crank after sitting for so long. It purrs to life on the first try. It seems to run smooth, not having the same miss I was used to.
“A present from the club. The guys took it over to the shop a few weeks ago. They fixed it so it runs like new.” I melt against the seat at Regg’s words. Everyone has been so good to me. There was no need to ask how I could repay them. I knew that in time, the club would demand something from me, and just like them, I wouldn’t hesitate to do whatever they asked.
“Think you can keep up?” I ask, pushing my foot against the accelerator, sounding off the pipes.
“In that thing? No.” He points to his truck and I laugh. I’ve never seen Regg do over the speed limit in that truck. The tires are so big, I was sure he’d run off the road if he ever hit eighty. “But, I bet I beat you home.”
“What makes you so sure?” I ask, ready for the challenge. No way could he beat me in that big clunker.
“I know the way.” Okay, so maybe there was a way for him to beat me.
When we finally arrive home, a few prospects from the club are there to help. Because I have such a soft spot for them, I immediately begin cooking dinner for the poor, overworked souls. Prospecting is a period where they prove themselves. It was a test of endurance and loyalty. But, I didn’t always approve. Luke has often told me to stop babying them, but I never listen. What was he gonna do? Spank me?
The rest of the evening, I’m busy cooking, unpacking and setting up home in Regg’s house. Just adding my favorite dishes to the kitchen, colored towels to the bathroom and pictures in the upstairs den make the place feel a little more like mine. Not that Regg has ever made me feel like it wasn’t. Although, he did tell me that the downstairs den was off limits. It’s his sanctuary. Men.