by Lois Richer
Relief swamped her, stealing her restraint. She threw her arms around him and hugged.
“Thank you, Kent. Thank you so much.”
He froze, his whole body going stiff. After a moment he lifted one hand and awkwardly patted her shoulder before easing away. “I haven’t done anything yet.”
“I can see it finished.” She twirled around, her imagination taking flight. “Reception will be here, of course. I don’t remember what your dad had in this corner before, but I’ll get a child’s table-and-chair set for coloring. And we can put—”
“That was Arvid’s corner.”
“Arvid?” She stared at Kent as old memories surfaced. “Your dad’s parrot!” She grinned. “That’s an idea.”
“You’d put a parrot in a doctor’s office?” His nose wrinkled. “Isn’t that against health regulations or something?”
“Not as long as the cage is kept clean and the animal isn’t dangerous. It’s actually a great idea. I wonder where I’d find a parrot around here.”
“At the ranch. I’ve got Arvid out there, hanging in the sunroom for now. He stays there during winter, but soon I’ll have to bring him into the main house so he doesn’t get overheated.” Kent made a face. “He’s never really adapted to the ranch. He doesn’t like my dog. Or me,” he admitted.
“You’re sure it wouldn’t be too much for him? Would the kids overwhelm him?”
Kent laughed. She hadn’t heard that jubilant sound in years but the pure pleasure filling his face captivated her. In the moment, he looked carefree, happy.
“Overwhelm him?” His eyes twinkled. “You must not remember Arvid very well. The only thing that ever overwhelmed that bird was my mother’s broom.”
She giggled, sharing his mirth. But a moment later Kent’s eyes met hers and his smile melted away. In a flash his glowering expression was back.
“You’re certain you can get this place ready for me to use in time?” Jaclyn wished she could make his smile appear again. But she reminded herself that she didn’t have the time for personal relationships with grumpy vets, not even the ones who made her heart skip a beat.
“I’m not certain but I think so. I spoke to a couple of tradesmen this morning.”
“This morning?” And I thought I got up early. “And?” she asked.
“They’ll stop by later today to take a look. Then I’ll have a better idea.” He rubbed a hand against his freshly shaven chin. “You understand I can’t guarantee anything. At the moment there are just too many unknowns. All I can say is that I’ll do my best.”
“I understand. Your best is good enough for me.”
“I’m not sure you do understand.” He tipped her chin so she had to look at him. “Listen to me, Jaclyn. I have my practice and the ranch. I’m the fire chief, the mayor and I sit on several local boards. Right now Hope is a town divided over allowing the mine to open. Some folks saw potential, of course. But a lot thought the mine would bring problems. Which it has. And it’s cost us some of the small town security we’ve always enjoyed. That’s just a few of the reasons which caused a big split and left a lot of people hurting. I’m trying to help heal that rift.”
“You’re saying you will have to juggle a lot and that the clinic isn’t necessarily first on the list.” She nodded. “I get that and I accept it. I have to. I don’t have another option. I have a lot invested in getting this clinic going and I’m willing to do whatever it takes.” She caught his skeptical glance at her hands and smiled. “Just because I haven’t lived on a ranch for a while doesn’t mean I don’t know how to work hard.”
“Okay then. I’ll do the best I can.” Kent nodded once.
“And I’ll help however I can. Just ask.” Her beeper interrupted. Jaclyn glanced at it. “I have to go.”
“What will you do for offices in the meantime?” Kent asked.
“The hospital gave me a room to use for consulting, for now. Not that I need much. People here don’t seem willing to trust me.” She tried to swallow the bitterness.
“Folks in Hope take a while to embrace outsiders.” He blinked, obviously only then remembering that she wasn’t exactly an outsider. “I had my own struggle after Doc McGregor died. It took forever for people to let me treat their cattle.”
“And you weren’t even guilty of almost burning down the local church.” She grimaced. “Nobody’s going to stop seeing me as that stupid kid. Maybe it was dumb of me to think I could come back here.”
“No, it wasn’t. People here will get to know you. Some will remember you were just a kid who lost your sister. Besides, you and your parents repaired the damage. Not that it matters anyway. The church is in bad condition now.”
“Maybe I could find a way to restore it,” she murmured. “Maybe that would make them forget.”
“It’s a nice thought.” His tanned brow furrowed. “But it’s not just your past. Your family only lived here for a few years, Jaclyn—your parents left when you did and neither they nor you ever came back. I’m not trying to hurt you, but to folks in Hope, you are an outsider.”
“But I’m trying to help them!”
“I know.” Kent nodded. “But while you’ve been away things have changed. Because of the mine, people here are more suspicious than ever before.”
“Is that even possible?” she quipped.
“Oh, yeah.” He didn’t smile. “I told you the town had split over the mine, but I didn’t tell you that the split was caused by outsiders who set friends and neighbors against each other, using scare tactics, among other things. Everyone’s suspicious of everyone right now. But folks will come around. We need your clinic, Jaclyn.”
We need your clinic? She liked the sound of that.
“Don’t give up on your dream, okay?”
“No chance of that—I owe it to Jessica.” The beeper sounded again. “Thanks, Kent.” Jaclyn waggled her fingers as she strode toward her car.
After she had treated the baby who’d ingested his brother’s marble, she sat and enjoyed her first cup of coffee of the day, recalling the note of earnestness in Kent’s voice when he’d told her not to give up.
Remembering the forlorn look on his face last night when she’d visited his ranch, she wanted to repeat it back to him.
But now she wondered, what were Kent’s dreams?
* * *
Dr. Jaclyn LaForge possessed remarkable powers of persuasion.
As he watched her drive away, Kent couldn’t quite quash his smile. He walked through his dad’s building a second time, remembering her insistence that she would help with renovations. As if those manicured hands would know how to grip a hammer.
His smile faded as he noted issues he’d missed. He should have been in here before this.
He should have done a lot of things.
Like not notice how Jaclyn’s smile made her eyes as glossy as black walnut fudge. Like escape that hug she’d laid on him. Like ignore the way she’d lured him into helping her reach that goal of hers. The hurt in her eyes when she revealed that she’d been rebuffed by the locals had nearly done him in.
Kent drew on his memories of the LaForge twins. Jessica had always been the serious twin, Jaclyn the prankster. But after her sister’s death, Jaclyn had bottled up her pain and anger until she’d finally exploded on graduation night. He’d understood why. Jaclyn had put so much faith in believing God would heal her sister. She couldn’t reconcile Jessica’s death with that faith. That’s why she’d torn up the newly planted flower beds at the church. It was the reason she’d spray painted the walls and made a mess that had scandalized the entire town. Jaclyn had needed answers that night and she hadn’t been able to find any that satisfied.
He knew how that felt. He’d asked why so many times. He still didn’t have the answer he craved. He wondered if Jaclyn had ever found hers.
Uncomfortable with the direction of his thoughts, Kent reconsidered Jaclyn. She was still stunningly beautiful, but she’d lost the easy, confident joy in life that had once been so much a part of her. Jaclyn now seemed hunted, as if she had to prove something. He recalled her words.
I owe it to Jessica.
Kent knew all about obligations, and about failing them. Boy, did he know. He veered away from the familiar rush of guilt and recalled instead the closeness between the sisters. He, like others in their youth group, had attended many prayer services for Jessica in the small adobe church. But Jessica had died in spite of Jaclyn’s insistence that if they just asked heaven enough times, God would respond.
Clearly the obligation to her sister still drove Jaclyn.
Brimming with questions that had no answers, Kent continued his inspection of the building. He pressed the wall in several places where water leaks had soaked through the plaster and left huge spots of dark brown. Each time he pushed, hunks of soggy plaster crumbled and tumbled to the floor. It would all have to be removed.
His former tenants had complained about something in the bathroom. Too busy with Lisa’s depression, the failing ranch and his own pathetic practice to tend to the matter himself, Kent had hired a plumber. He now saw that the work was substandard. The bathroom would need to be gutted.
There were other issues, too. The roof, for one. Some of the clay tiles had cracked and broken away. Summer rains in Hope were aptly named monsoons. This past summer, the water had managed to find a way in, ruining large portions of the ceiling.
Kent made four phone calls. Then he took off his jacket, rolled up his shirtsleeves and got to work hauling refuse out to the newly arrived Dumpster he’d ordered. He’d been working about two hours before a phone call sent him back to his clinic at the ranch to treat a family pet. One thing after another popped up until it was evening. He wanted nothing more than to sprawl out in his recliner and relax, but he’d promised Jaclyn that building and her deadline would roll around too soon.
After a quick meal, Kent filled a thermos with coffee, grabbed an orange and headed back into town. At sunset his high school chum Zac Enders stopped in.
“Out for the usual run, huh, Professor?” Kent used the old nickname deliberately because it bugged Zac. He tossed yet another shovel full of plaster into a bin.
“Yeah. What’s going on here?” Zac grabbed a push broom and slid a new pile of rubbish onto Kent’s shovel. “You sell the place?”
“I wish.” Kent dumped the load, stood the shovel and leaned on its handle. “You didn’t hear about Jaclyn’s clinic burning?”
“Actually I did. I was out of town for a two-day conference but someone at the office filled me in.” Zac had become the superintendent of Hope’s school district the previous fall. “Shame.”
“Yeah, it is.” Kent waved a hand. “She wants to use this place. She’s got to be up and running within three months.” He gave his buddy the short version.
“This time you’ve really bitten off a big piece, cowboy.” Zac smirked when Kent’s head shot up at the old moniker. “Aren’t high school nicknames fun?”
“Yeah,” Kent said with a droll look. “Real fun.”
“This place is a disaster.” Zac glanced around, his eyes giving away his concern. “I hope you believe in miracles.”
Kent didn’t believe in miracles. Miracles would have saved his wife from the depression that took hold of her spirit and never let go. Miracles would have made him a better husband, would have helped him know how to help her. Miracles would have saved Lisa from getting caught between a wildfire and the backfire he’d set to stop it.
“I didn’t make Jaclyn any promises,” he told Zac. “I’ll do my best here and hopefully it will be enough. But I don’t know what I can do about Jaclyn’s other problems.” He shook his head at Zac’s puzzled look. “Apparently, the good people of Hope are reluctant to go to Jaclyn for medical help.”
“Ah. The vandalism is coming back to bite her. But you can change that, Kent.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you,” Zac shot back. “Everybody in Hope thinks you’re God’s gift.”
Kent snorted. “Hardly.” God’s failure, maybe.
“It’s true. They look to you for leadership and they do whatever you say. All you have to do is put out a good word about her clinic and Jaclyn will have more patients than she can handle. I should know. That’s how I got my job.”
“Not true. You got your job because you were the best candidate.”
“And because you put in a word with the board chairman.” Zac smiled. “I heard.”
“I only said it would be nice to have someone with a PhD running things.” Kent avoided his knowing look.
“So? You can do the same for Jaclyn.” Zac paused, frowned. “Can’t you?”
“I’ve already tried. But she’s big city now, Zac.” Kent stared at the shovel he held. “Designer everything. You know how that goes down in Hope.”
“I do know. Everyone still feels conned by the city jerks that came here, promised the moon and have yet to deliver. But so what?” His friend studied him for several moments then barked a laugh. “Surely you can’t imagine Jaclyn will leave? Don’t you remember high school at all, cowboy?”
“Which part of high school?” Kent remembered some parts too well. Like how he was going to marry Lisa and live happily ever after.
“Dude! The Brat Pack, remember?” Zac nudged him with an elbow. “Jaclyn, Jessica, Brianna and Shay? Their dream?”
“I had forgotten that.” Kent recalled the closeness of the four, the way Shay and Brianna had rallied around Jaclyn while her sister suffered. He vaguely remembered the friends discussing some future project they’d all be part of.
“They were going to build a clinic. Then Jessica died. The others decided to make the clinic as a kind of monument to her. They were each going to have a specialty. Jaclyn, the pediatrician who made sure no child ever had the lack of care her sister did, Brianna wanted to practice child psychology and Shay was going to be a physiotherapist.” Zac slapped his shoulder. “You’ve got to put in a good word for Jaclyn, man. She’s spent a long time nursing that dream.”
“Ah, yes, Brianna.” Kent frowned. “You wouldn’t still be waiting for your former fiancée to come back to Hope to work in this clinic, would you, Professor?”
“No.” Zac shook his head, his eyes sad. “I gave up that dream long ago when I heard Brianna had married.”
“Then what’s your interest?” Kent raised his shoulders.
“I live here. I knew and liked Jessica. I think it would be cool if Jaclyn finally got to make her dream come true and cooler still if you helped her do it. But that’s up to you.” He looked around, flexed his arm. “Want a hand? I haven’t got anything going on tonight.”
“Great. You’re better at cleaning than me,” Kent teased.
“If you consider this place clean, then I certainly am.” Zac and Kent worked as a team for several hours. As usual, Zac brought the conversation around to discussing his first love—Hope’s schools. “Are you listening to me?” he asked.
“Sure.” Kent blinked, grinned. “Not really.”
“Thinking about Jaclyn, huh?” Zac snickered. “I hear she’s changed.”
“I told you, she’s turned big city.” Kent shrugged.
“That doesn’t mean she’s different inside.” Zac drank from his water bottle while Kent sipped his coffee. “She’s still focused on that clinic.”
“I’d substitute ‘driven’ for ‘focused.’” Kent sat on an upturned pail. “It’s like the clinic will happen or she’ll die trying.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Zac asked.
“Lots.” Kent waved a hand around them. “What’s going to happen if I don’t get finished in time? She’ll l
ose her funding. But Jaclyn doesn’t hear my warnings and, far as I can tell, she doesn’t have an alternate plan. It’s the clinic or nothing.”
“So you finish this place.” Zac blinked. “What’s the problem?”
“The problem?” Kent made a face. “Oh, just a few insignificant issues, like finding someone to do the work, paying for it, spending time here that I should be spending on my own practice or the ranch—take your pick.” Suddenly the magnitude of what he’d agreed to swamped him. “I don’t want to be responsible for ruining her dream.”
“Her dream? Or Lisa’s?” Zac tilted his head to one side, his expression sober. “It wasn’t your fault Lisa didn’t get her dream.”
“Yes, it was. I’m the one who dragged her away from the city. I’m the one who wouldn’t leave the ranch when she asked me to.” The guilt multiplied every time Kent thought about his actions. He’d loved Lisa yet he’d hurt her deeply.
“How could you have walked away from the ranch?” Zac asked quietly. “You would have lost everything. That’s not what a responsible man does.”
“Not even at the cost of his wife’s happiness?” Kent growled.
“There’s no evidence that moving would have guaranteed happiness. Lisa was sick. You told me the doctors said moving would change nothing.”
“They said it, but I don’t know that. Maybe if I’d forced her into treatment—”
“You can’t force someone to be well, Kent,” Zac said, his voice somber. “You did what you could.”
But Kent knew he hadn’t done enough. He’d tried to force Lisa to see the good things about living on the ranch, but all she saw was a trap that kept her from the fairy tale dream in her mind of a happy, party-style life in the city.
Zac helped awhile longer then offered some advice before he left.
“Lisa’s gone. Leave her with God. He knows you did your best. He loves you and understands. Move on.”
God loved him?
After Zac left, Kent tidied up the place, gathered his thermos and shut off the lights while thinking about Zac’s words. Kent felt he couldn’t accept God’s love because he wasn’t worthy of it. Lisa would still be alive if not for him. So what if they’d lost the ranch? He’d persisted because he wanted to make his dad’s dream for the place come alive when he should have let it go and started again.