When we approached my house, his eyes were on the sky.
“That was so beautiful. I can’t stop thinking about it.” I looked at my shoes as I spoke, giving up hope that we could talk about what was happening between us. I was sure he had to be feeling it, too. It was like electric or magnetic, pulling me to him, wanting him with me. But I was a coward. I couldn’t bring it up.
“I'm glad you enjoyed it,” he said politely. As we walked up my driveway and reached the front door, I stood there for a moment, wondering if there was anything more he might say—or tell me. “Emma, I am different from you,” he said with his eyes still watching the evening sky.
“Different? Different how, like with your secret rose obsession?” I smirked at him. He looked at me and smiled. It was a small smile, and it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Yes.” He moved his weight from side to side, looking at me. “Emma, I do not know the best way to go about doing this.” He ran his fingers through his hair, a signal he gave when he was thinking hard about something, but maybe it was also when he was nervous. Do I make him nervous?
“Just say it—that’s usually the best way,” I added, walking closer to him, wondering how we got so far apart and why he was no longer holding my hand.
“I am only afraid that if I tell you, you won’t want to see me anymore,” he whispered. I could not think of anything he could do to make that a possibility.
“That won’t happen, Shad. We are friends.” I touched his shoulder to comfort him.
He laughed at the word, “friends, yes—” He closed his eyes.
“Yes?” I said softly. He looked at my face, and a warm smile came to his lips. He was more than just a friend, so much more. Then my song for him sped up, and then quickly, it slowed down. I tried to hide my confusion but wondered if I was having a seizure or something.
“Can you hear that—feel that, Emma?”
“What?” I whispered as the song blasted and blared inside me.
“Nothing,” he said, putting his hands inside his pockets. “Never mind, I should go. I am grateful for your patience.” I watched as he took one hand out of his pocket. Watched as he reached out and brushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear and trailed a thumb down my cheek until he touched my lips. I closed my eyes, imagining his thumb was his lips against mine in the kiss I so desperately longed for. “Thank you, Emma, for letting me show you the creek. Thank you for confiding in me about your parents. I am sorry for your great loss. I think they would be proud of you.” His lips were so close to mine—I realized as I opened my eyes. I could feel his hot breath on my face. I looked into his eyes, and I could see a struggle there within him. Was he struggling to contain himself just as I was? I blinked, and in the next moment his hands were back inside his pockets, and he was backing away from me. “Goodnight, darling,” he barely spoke on the evening air as he turned, and walked down the steps, taking his beautiful song with him into the night.
Gone
I PLACED MY PHONE ON the counter in the bathroom. I saw the yellow rose from Shad. I stared at it, making sure I was really seeing it. I reached out and touched its yellow petals, and one fell off. Nothing had happened with any roses or with my father’s watch re-appearing for a while. I was grateful for that; however, I still made mental notes of where I left my things, especially the roses. I got into the shower. The heat on my cold body made me screech, and I quickly adjusted the temperature.
Once I was out of the shower and dressed, I sat on the edge of my bed, holding my phone in my hands ready to text Ryker.
Emma: “Hey, are you doing okay? Will you be back for homecoming? Sam finally asked Ash. Miss you.”
Ryker: “I am out of town, may be longer than I thought.” His response was almost immediate.
Emma: “Your dad said a relative is sick?”
Ryker: “Yeah, you talked to my dad?”
Emma: “No, Mary told me, she talked to your dad, I guess.”
Ryker: “Well, I am doing some research. Promise you won’t be mad?”
Emma: “Ryker, I think we need to call the police. You are driving me crazy over this. I do want to find my parents murderer but not at the expense of your happiness, Ry.”
Ryker: “I know, but he tried to kill your family, Em, and I can’t just stand by and let him get away. No one is even looking into it.”
I put my phone down, not answering his last text. I tried to breathe and calm down my anger, but I couldn’t, and my head spun. I had thought about the question for a while. Why would anyone want my family dead? My dad was a doctor; my mother was a stay at home mom. They didn’t exactly make any hit list that I could think of. I was finally doing better, but every time I talked to Ryker, I had to relive all my nightmares all over again. My phone buzzed, and I answered it. Ryker’s voice was calm but serious. Memories were trying to break through the surface as I blinked away tears.
“Are you okay?” Ryker asked seriously.
“I am waiting for all this to just be some horrible dream that I can wake up from.”
“I just have to figure out the last piece of this puzzle. I am so close.” The picture Ryker had showed me popped into my head. The man with black eyes haunted me.
“Ryker, this is too much for me right now,” I tried to push the picture of the man from my thoughts. I tried to stop the flashbacks, but they started again. After the crash, we had been upside down. My mother was thrown from the car, so I never saw her, but I did see a hole in the windshield. I blacked out a lot, but like always, the memory of my father made me want to scream.
I wiped a tear from my cheek.
“Ryker—Ryker, I can’t”
“Emma, I am sorry.”
“Why on earth would someone kill them? Tell me, Ryker. Why? Why would someone want my parents, and possibly me, dead?”
“Everyone has enemies, Emma.”
“My parents don’t have enemies. I don’t have any enemies. I don’t understand,” I cried into the phone.
“Neither do I, Emma, but I am going to keep you safe.”
“I am scared, Ryker. I don’t want to know the truth, but then I do. Mary says I need to move on, move past all this, and it is so hard.” I was hopeful, hopeful that he would tell me everything was alright, that no one murdered my parents, that this man from my memories was just a bad dream a fragment of my twisted imagination. But instead, I heard anger.
“How are we supposed to just move on!? Oh, I get it—how you are moving on to Shad, huh!?”
“Excuse me?” I asked in complete and total shock, I wanted to cry.
“Never mind, I am sorry. I did not mean that. I am just—frustrated is all. I should have been there that night with you guys.” Was I just supposed to take that? Let him yell at me one second and then apologize and tell me how guilty he felt the next?
“Part of me wishes you were there so that I wasn’t alone, but that is selfish. If you would have been there, you probably would be dead right now,” I breathed.
“Your dad asked me to go, and I didn’t.”
“So?”
“So—I feel like I could have prevented it.” I laughed, but there was no humor in it.
“Seriously, Ryker? Do you have super strength?”
“Okay, maybe I could not have prevented it. I am sorry, Emma. I miss them. I am so sorry. I should have been the one who died; it should have only been me,” he choked.
“Ryker, no. No, I couldn’t live without you. No one wants you dead.”
“I have to go, Emma,” he whispered.
“Just say goodbye to your sick relative and come home. You are missing the homecoming dance, and I am so annoyed that I have to go without you being there.”
“Are you going with him still?”
“Yes.”
Silence—
“Ryker?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you okay?”
“He likes you, I can tell.”
“There is something different about him, Ryker; I don�
�t know what it is.”
“He has always thought he can get whatever he wants.”
“He is not like that at all. You don’t know him the way that I do.”
“So, does it even matter what I say? Emma, I have known him for a long time.”
“I mean, I love you, Ry, but I need to grow up sometime, right?”
“This is hard for me.”
“Ry, I—”
“I know. I am sorry. I am going to fight for you.”
“Fight for me? Ryker, we will always be friends.”
“I don’t like change.”
“Well, things change. That is part of being human and living. I am allowed to have more than one friend, Ry.”
“Look at you—all wise.”
I laughed. “I know, I am so wise and, you should listen to me.”
“I really need to go, Emma—”
“Call me soon.”
“I will.”
“Thanks.”
“Love you, Emma. Have fun at the dance, but not too much fun.”
I rolled my eyes: “sure, Ryker.”
The Crystal
IT WAS SATURDAY, THE day that I, and so many girls at Oak high, had been waiting for. I looked into my closet for the millionth time. It is homecoming tonight! I am going with Shad to the dance! I tried to not let out a loud squeal. After all, it was still rather early, and Mary had been working late the past couple of nights. Not everything was perfect. Ryker wouldn’t be there, and our last conversation still left a bad taste in my mouth.
I tried to distract myself for most of the day, but it was hard to do. I wandered around the house and almost drove Mary nuts from time to time. Ash was coming over to get ready with me, then going back to her house to wait for Sam to pick her up. I counted the minutes; again time was not on my side as it decided to be exceptionally slow—in order to torture me.
“I hate you,” I whispered, glaring at the digital clock in our living room.
“Why don’t you just watch a movie or something; read a book—anything except pace that hall again or curse the clock?” Mary suggested.
I laughed. “Sorry, this is the first time I have ever done anything like this.” That was kind of true. Brian and I had tried to attend the spring formal. In middle school, but we all know how that turned out. Maybe it’s a good thing Ryker isn’t here, I thought.
I sat down on the couch as Mary put on some movie, and I barely paid attention to it. When the movie was over, there were only a few hours left until the dance, yet I groaned, knowing that still, it was too early to get ready. She laughed and put on another movie. Finally, after the two-hour-long, sappy romance, with an actor who actually vaguely reminded me of Shad, I stood up and went to go get dressed. The doorbell rang, and I rushed to it.
“Finally! I have been dying to get ready. This is all so stressful,” I groaned, as Ash gave me a hug.
“Let’s get all dolled up!”
“Dolled up?” I asked.
Ash just shrugged.
“You made it, Emma. You didn’t die!” Mary cheered at me as Ash and I walked down the hall, and I rolled my eyes at her even though she couldn’t see it. We made our way into my room, and as Ash hung her dress on the hook over my door, I opened my closet. There it was: my dress. I touched the fabric. The dress was form-fitted at the top, but just as the dress reached my waist, it fanned out. It was a soft, silver-blue with just the right amount of lace and sparkle. It reached just below my knees. I had also purchased a pair of silver, strappy heels that really did a good job of making my legs look longer. As I put on my dress, did my hair, and put on my shoes, I became more and more excited. It was real. Ash used my curling iron on her straight, red hair, which became beautiful with soft ringlet curls that she pinned on top of her head.
“You look gorgeous,” I said when she stepped out of the bathroom to twirl.
“Now, I need to get that dress on,” she smiled. I realized then that I wished I would have spent more time getting to know Ash even better than I had. Having her as a friend had been wonderful already, and I hoped we could become even better friends as time went on. We had not talked about her family life or anything since that day at the dress shop. I hoped she was okay, and I hoped she knew I cared about her, even if I wasn’t so good at being a friend. I was trying, but it was all so new to me.
I sat on my bed, staring at my hands. Was I really going to a dance with a real date? That was totally a normal teenage thing to be doing. I turned and examined myself in the mirror. Ash had come up to me a few minutes after I put on my dress, gushing about how beautiful I was. She then proceeded to curl my hair just as she had done to hers. I liked how it hung around my face, almost as if framing it. My hair was extremely long, and the curls down my back made my hair look thicker than I had ever seen it before. It looked so pretty that I made a mental note to curl my hair more often. I breathed in once and felt satisfied; there was nothing more to be done—hair, makeup, dress, and shoes; that was it.
An hour later, Ash waved goodbye from her foster parents’ car and sped off. And only a few minutes later, I heard the doorbell ring, and then Mary’s excited voice downstairs. She had told me earlier that she wanted to take pictures before we left. I told myself in that moment: I will pull myself together and try to enjoy this. I do have the most attractive and kind guy as a date, so that is saying something.
“Emma!” Mary called as I reached the bottom of the stairs.
“He is in the doorway.” She was giggling and holding up her phone excitedly. I was grateful that she had decided not to hate Shad, for whatever her concerns were about his parents, especially on that night. We walked together to the front door, and there, I saw Shad. Seeing him in his everyday formal wear always blew my mind. He was a perfectly put together person, always. But, that night, he was something else.
He was wearing a tuxedo; it was solid black with a skinny, silver-blue neck tie. How did this happen? How could his outfit tonight make all his other clothes look like t-shirts with holes in them and faded blue jeans? It was something else. I played the song just for him inside myself, and let it fill me up. He isn’t just handsome, I thought. He is beautiful—not just because he is attractive, many people are, but there is so much more to him than looks. He is kind, thoughtful, sweet, and he cares. He listens; he is respectful; he has worries and fears, but he doesn’t let them stand in his way. He is there for me in the moments I need him. I want to know all of him. So, yes, he is beautiful, breathtaking, and handsome, but it isn’t just from the outside, it is from within, too. I smiled at him, I couldn’t help it. I felt so much for Shad at that moment. He had chased the darkness from inside me time and time again. And here he is,standing in front of me. I still want to run into his arms and kiss his lips and make him hold me, and never let me go, but I was also willing to be whatever he needed me to be, I just wanted him in my life, always.
His hair was combed back in his usual way. Shad looked like royalty in that tuxedo, He had cufflinks on, and it seemed like the suit was tailored specifically for him, every inch. It fit his athletic body beautifully. I was thanking that tailor it in my mind.
As I reached him, his face brightened, as if he was in a dark room before, and when I entered, someone turned on a light—he glowed.
“You look radiant, Emma,” he complimented as he reached out to me. He pulled me close to him, but not close enough that our bodies were actually touching. Shame. He held my hand as he whispered in my ear, “My darling.”
I thought my heart would give out in a matter of minutes. “Huh, you look even more formal than normal tonight, Shad. I didn’t know such a thing was possible,” I said with a smile on my lips.
I watched him raise his eyebrows at me until a smile crawled upon his own lips, letting me know that he understood my joke.
“Okay, picture time!” Mary shouted. Shad and I stood in the hallway, and Mary took a couple pictures of us. Shad placed his arm around my waist and pulled me in close for one picture
. In another photo, he blew on my cheek, and I laughed at him. I was sure the pictures would not turn out, but Mary wanted to try, so I let her. Finally, when she called it “good,” we headed out the door.
“Are you ready, Emma?” Shad asked as we walked to the car.
“Just stay with me, please. I am nervous.”
He chuckled, “and where would I go?”
I shrugged.
“I will be there with you every step of the way.”
As we drove to the dance, we were silent. As we pulled into the parking lot, Shad rolled into a parking spot and then shut off the car.
“Okay, here we go,” Shad encouraged as he looked to me.
“What exactly are we going to do?” I asked, my nerves bubbling up inside of me like a bubble bath.
“Don’t worry, Emma. Just follow my lead; I am good at navigating through these kinds of things.” He winked and got out of the car. He was over to my side in an instant and opened the door for me.
“You go to dances often with girls?”
“No, more like my family’s business always had these grand parties that I had to attend, so we can handle this homecoming thing, I assure you.”
I nodded.
“Hold my hand, Emma,” he whispered, and I realized that I was clutching my hands together behind my back, and he had been reaching for me. I gulped and let go of my hands, placing one of them into his hand.
We reached the check-in table, and Shad handed the teacher our tickets. The gym was decorated all in white: white balloons, white streamers. Everything was coated in a frosted, bright white. It looked beautiful, really. I could have given the dance committee props on a job well done. As soon as we entered the gymnasium, a slow song began. Three girls walked toward Shad and me as it started. I had tried over the past few weeks to ignore the obvious flirting I had witnessed in Shad’s direction from what seemed like most of the female population at school, but maybe I am being dramatic—it couldn’t be the entire school, Emma. When it came to Shad, I knew it could be somewhat uncontrollable. He was just that mesmerizing; however, could they not see that, clearly, I was there with him?
The Heir: A YA Fantasy Romance (The Heir Series: Book 1) Page 19