A Measure of Love

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A Measure of Love Page 4

by Sophie Jackson

Lexie lifted one shoulder, keeping her gaze on her drink. “Only if I feel better.”

  “Your mom said you weren’t sick anymore.”

  She didn’t answer but pulled the duvet closer. Watching her, Riley thought carefully about what Christine had said. He couldn’t remember ever seeing Blake Richards being mean to her, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t happened. Lexie and Blake did have three classes together, which Riley hated, so it was entirely possible. But surely she would have said something.

  “You’d tell me if there was something wrong, wouldn’t you?” he asked, pressing play on her CD player, unsurprised to hear the Spice Girls’ “Wannabe.”

  Lexie frowned instead of singing along. “What do you mean?”

  Riley chewed the inside of his mouth, knowing Lexie well enough to realize she might get mad if he told her what Christine had said. “I don’t know,” he muttered toward his feet. “If someone was, like, mean to you or something.”

  He looked up at her to see an expression he didn’t see on her very often. It was panic. He pressed his lips together, suddenly wanting to find Blake Richards and punch him. Riley had never punched anyone in his life, except maybe his brothers, but that was playing. Or so they told their mother.

  “Lexie,” he said softly. “Is Blake Richards giving you a hard time?”

  “No,” she blurted, blinking quickly. “No. Why would you think that? What did he say?”

  Riley sat back in his chair, ignoring her lie and hating that he hadn’t recognized what was going on with her. “He didn’t say anything to me. He never does. I just thought I’d ask.”

  Lexie narrowed her eyes, which suddenly looked a little brighter. “My mom said something to you, didn’t she?”

  Riley didn’t answer other than to sip from his cup.

  Lexie sighed. “He’s not giving me a hard time,” she said eventually, but her tone had Riley unconvinced.

  “But you’d tell me if he did.”

  “Why?” A smile teased at her lips. “You gonna beat him up?”

  “Maybe,” Riley replied nonchalantly. “If you wanted me to.” And he meant it. Why wouldn’t he? Lexie was his friend. She was his best friend. He tapped his fingers against his cup as he shook his head. “I don’t know why you like him anyway.”

  “I don’t,” Lexie mumbled. “Besides, it doesn’t matter. He’s seeing Hannah Grand now.”

  “Hannah Grand?” Riley asked incredulously. “That stupid brown-haired thing who called you fat in third grade?”

  Lexie nodded and crossed her arms. Riley remembered how upset she’d been when Hannah Grand had said what she’d said and how he’d watched as Lexie’s sister, Savannah, and Lexie’s mom had tried to convince Lexie that she was perfect.

  Riley shook his head. “Then he’s as stupid as she is.” Lexie didn’t respond while she picked at her thumbnail. Then it occurred to him. “Has she said something to you?”

  “Nothing worth mentioning,” she replied with a careless shrug.

  “Lexie.”

  “It’s fine.”

  Without any solution or words of comfort, Riley simply repeated, “Does that mean you’re coming back to school tomorrow? It sucks without you.”

  Lexie looked at Riley for such a long moment that he began to fidget. “Pinkie promise,” she uttered.

  The following morning, Lexie was waiting for Riley on her porch step just as she’d said she would. She looked so much better and even smiled when she saw him walking down her street. She always did that, but each time it was as if it were the first. They walked to school, talking about the Cardinals game taking place on the upcoming weekend, and the new Superman comic Riley’s mom had given him the night before.

  If Riley thought hard about it, it was the walks to and from school that he liked the best. He’d watch Lexie walk along the curb, acting like a trapeze artist, grabbing his shoulder every time she lost her balance, and he’d laugh about her ambitions of being the Harley Quinn to his Joker or the Catwoman to his Batman. He loved that she indulged his comic book obsession. He’d even convinced her to read a couple of them.

  “I’d want to have a long tail and cute ears, though,” she complained after Riley had explained about Harley Quinn’s jester outfit in the animated series. “I don’t want bells. That’s it. I’ll have to be Catwoman.”

  “That’s okay,” Riley soothed as they wandered down the school hallway toward their lockers. “I’d rather be Batman anyway.” He adjusted his Green Lantern sweater. “You know you could always be Wonder Woman. At least then you’d have stars on your clothes.”

  “Wonder Woman and Batman? Do you two only ever speak geek?”

  Riley’s head snapped to where the remark originated to find Hannah Grand standing at her locker, next to the one-and-only Blake Richards. His stupid hair looking as stupid as ever while Hannah smiled in a way that reminded Riley of a snake about to strike. She was a tiny little thing, all skinny legs and big teeth, wearing a sweater that was purple with large hearts on it. He supposed she appeared harmless, but the knowledge that this girl had put the sad look on Lexie’s face stirred Riley’s anger.

  “What’s your problem?” Riley hissed.

  Lexie’s hand on his wrist made him turn. “Don’t,” she murmured, shaking her head. Her eyes behind her glasses slowly took on that panicked glaze again. “It’s not worth it.”

  “See how she hides behind her boyfriend,” Hannah commented with a laugh that was as fake as the friends sniggering at her side.

  “He’s not my boyfriend,” Lexie barked back at her. The sharpness of Lexie’s words poked at Riley’s chest.

  “Of course he isn’t,” Hannah retorted with a hand on her hip. “Why would he want anything to do with you when you don’t even wear a bra yet?”

  Riley’s eyes widened at the same time a gust of breath erupted from Lexie. With secondhand embarrassment heating his cheeks, and having no idea what to say, his gaze flew to hers. Tears filled Lexie’s eyes. Riley had only ever seen Lexie cry once before, when she’d broken her arm after falling from their spaceship. To see her hurting so much because of one person had him simultaneously wanting to hug her close while shoving his backpack into Hannah Grand’s mouth.

  To his relief, Lexie parted her lips to say something that Riley knew would no doubt be venomous, but nothing came. Instead, her shoulders dropped, and she closed her mouth and turned to her locker.

  “Nothing to say?” Hannah continued. “That makes a change.”

  “Lex,” Riley whispered, ignoring Hannah and hating the fact that his normally vocal and spirited friend had been reduced to the quiet, helpless girl at his side.

  “It’s okay,” she answered, avoiding his gaze as she pulled books from her bag. “Let’s just go.”

  “Yeah, go,” Hannah remarked behind them while closing her locker. “Go and be geeks together. Weirdos. Come on, Blake.”

  “Listen!” Riley shouted, anger rising through his body, straightening his spine. He thrust a finger toward Hannah and her group of idiots. “Why don’t you shut up?”

  “Or what?” Blake Richards asked, the smirk on his face boiling Riley’s blood further.

  Oh, how he’d love to show Blake Richards how not to mess with his friends! But, after a moment of consideration, Riley’s hand dropped. He didn’t want to get in a fight at school, as much as he wanted to beat them all up for hurting Lexie. His father would go ballistic.

  “Oh my God,” Hannah exclaimed around a laugh when Riley said nothing. “They’re both pathetic. The Gross Lantern and his sidekick, Spexie Lexie the Braless Wonder!”

  Lexie sniffed at his side, adjusting the glasses on her face as laughter rippled all around them. Without thought, Riley placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed.

  “I’m okay,” she uttered, as a lone tear escaped and slipped down her flushed cheek, striking Riley directly in the gut.

  Breathing deeply and keeping his eyes on Lexie, he spoke. “Hey, Hannah?” He turned slowly to face her. �
�I know your secret.”

  “My what?”

  “Your secret.”

  She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “And what secret is that?”

  “About why you’re such a bitch.”

  The gasps that filled the corridor were deafening while the people around them seemed to come to a grinding halt to listen in. Lexie froze at his side.

  Hannah Grand blanched. “Excuse me?”

  “I get it,” he added with a shrug. “You’re jealous. And why wouldn’t you be?”

  “Jealous?” Hannah asked, her voice turning shrill. “Of her?” She pointed at Lexie, who was staring at Riley in utter shock.

  “Sure,” he answered. “I mean, Lexie here”—he waved a hand at his friend—“has so many options. Don’t get me wrong, she’s beautiful now, but when she’s older, she could ditch her glasses and get contacts or eventually be able to buy as many bras as she wants.”

  Hannah sneered. “I doubt it. What’s your point?”

  “Well, what options do you have, Hannah?

  “For what?”

  “Your face.” Riley snorted. “Let’s be honest here—you’ll always be ugly. Not like a bra and contacts can help that travesty, huh?” Riley turned to Lexie, ignoring Hannah’s petty but loud response, and smiled at her wide grin. “Come on. Let’s get outta here.”

  When Riley’s mom, via a concerned phone call from school, heard about what had happened that morning, she’d banned him from going out—due to the bad language he’d used, not because she considered what he’d done a bad thing. On the contrary, she was proud that he’d stuck up for Lexie, giving his cheek a kiss, which Riley had appreciated but wiped off his face quickly.

  “Use sensible words next time,” she’d told him.

  Later that evening, when he was lying on his bed reading a comic, he heard the familiar sound of stones gently hitting his bedroom window. He shot up, hurrying to the window, which he pushed opened, and smiled down at the blonde girl with pink glasses standing in his backyard.

  “Hey. You come to break me out?”

  Lexie laughed quietly, whispering her reply. “No. I can’t stay. Mom doesn’t know I’m here. I came to give you something.” She lifted a soccer ball out of the bag that had been attached to her back. “Catch.”

  Riley held his hands out and caught it on the first try, realizing as it landed in his hands that there was a piece of paper secured to it by a rubber band.

  “Open it,” Lexie ordered.

  Riley unfolded the paper to see a hand-drawn picture of the Earth, complete with blue sea and green continents. He frowned. “What’s this for?” he asked wryly, poking his head back out of the window.

  For one unusual moment, Lexie seemed hesitant to answer. She flopped her hands to her sides. “It’s to say thank you for today.” She scrunched her shoulders. “I know what I said . . . what I said to Hannah . . . about you not—”

  “Being your boyfriend,” Riley finished. Her words still smarted. Almost like someone had ripped a Band-Aid off his heart.

  “Yeah,” Lexie nodded solemnly. “It’s not that I don’t— I just wanted to give you something to explain what you mean to me.”

  Riley pursed his lips and glanced back down at the drawing. “A planet?”

  Lexie shook her head. “No, silly.” Her face grew more serious as she said, “The world. All the world.”

  Riley’s breath caught in his throat when he finally understood what she was trying to tell him. You mean all the world to me. He no doubt looked like a fish with his mouth open and no words coming from it. “Oh.”

  Lexie picked up her bicycle and climbed onto it. “Good night, Riley.”

  She pedaled off into the darkness, leaving Riley warm all over despite the chilly night air. “Good night, Lex.”

  4

  It hadn’t surprised Riley that his dreams had been so vivid. He was back in his childhood bedroom, surrounded by the smells of his parents’ house, after all. The memory-riddled dreams always occurred when he stayed here, so much so that it had become one of the many reasons he didn’t visit more. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the dreams. If anything, they filled him with a warmth and calm he’d only ever experienced as a kid. They were memories he’d always cherish, reminding him of a time when life was easy and uncomplicated by shit that was, in light of his father’s condition, superfluous.

  He’d been lucky enough to have a happy, love-filled childhood, and looking around his room, seeing the film posters and the few school, college, and family pictures tacked to the gray walls, and the worn furniture, most of which he’d had since he was fifteen years old, brought a smile to his face. He’d had some awesome times in this room, in this house.

  He sighed, rested a hand behind his head, and looked over at the window through which he’d caught Lexie’s soccer ball and the drawing that had meant so much. The drawing that still meant so much. The drawing he’d kept all these years, folded neatly in a box at the back of a drawer in his New York apartment. The drawing he would allow himself to look at every once in a while just to bring a smile to his face.

  Maybe he was a fool for hanging on to a gift that represented something that no longer existed, but who cared? He certainly didn’t.

  Glancing at the watch on his wrist to see it was a little before 10 a.m., he tossed back the bedcovers and, after rifling through the hastily packed bag he’d brought, threw on a pair of sweatpants. He opened the door, visited the bathroom, and meandered down the hallway to Seb’s room.

  He knocked once and pushed the door open. Seb was awake, lying on his bed, looking back at Riley over the top of his cell phone as though he were crazy. “Morning,” he said wryly.

  “I have to say,” Riley commented as he entered without invitation, “I’m relieved you have your cell to play with these days rather than yourself. That would have been super awkward.”

  Seb snorted and shook his head. “If you’d been here twenty minutes ago it would have been a different story.”

  “Move over,” Riley ordered, and dropped down next to his brother once Seb had moved. This was something they’d done almost every Saturday morning when they both still lived at home. Riley would say that, out of all his brothers, he was closest to Tate, but he and Seb had always had little traditions that no one else really understood.

  Riley crossed his legs at the ankles and rested his hands behind his head, noticing how his mother hadn’t changed the décor much in Seb’s room, either. The walls were still light blue and the small glow-in-the-dark stars Seb got on his eighth birthday still littered the ceiling.

  “Did Tate stop by earlier?” Riley asked.

  Seb placed his phone on his side table. “Yeah, about seven. Told me to stay put.” He rubbed a hand down his face and looked over at Riley. “Not much point in us all sitting around at the hospital.”

  Riley grumbled. He supposed all four of them hovering around the family room wouldn’t help his father much, but he still wanted to do something useful.

  “So how’re things?” he asked Seb instead. “Work good?”

  Seb was probably the quietest and least confident out of the four brothers, so Riley was proud of him when he opened his own gym two years ago.

  “Everything’s fine.” Seb’s cell buzzed once and he reached over to retrieve it. “Busy.” He read the message and sighed before putting it back.

  “How long you staying here?”

  “It’s my weekend off this week, so I booked a flight for Sunday. Freya’s watching the place.” Freya was Seb’s business partner. The two of them had been friends since college, and shit had always been purely platonic as far as Riley knew. Although, how that was possible was beyond him: Freya was a fox.

  Seb’s phone buzzed again.

  “Someone’s jonesing for you,” Riley commented. “She your new plaything?”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  Riley laughed. “Bullshit you don’t. You work day in, day out surrounded by people with six-pac
ks in skin-tight spandex, which is pretty much like Disneyland for a guy like you. There’s no way you’re not fooling around with someone.”

  Seb chuckled and lifted his eyebrows. “No one worth mentioning.”

  His answer confused Riley. Seb was usually open about who he was fucking, and he fucked a lot. Handsome son of a bitch.

  “She not treating you right?” Riley asked seriously. Placing his cell on his chest, Seb kept his stare on the ceiling. Riley prodded further. “He not treating you right?”

  When he was twenty, Seb had come out as bisexual, much to the surprise of the family. He’d never brought a guy home, but Riley knew, unlike many others, that Seb had dated a couple of men. How serious those relationships had been, Riley didn’t know, but he and the rest of the family supported his brother.

  Seb exhaled and turned to his brother. “I’m okay, Ri. Honestly.”

  Letting it go for the time being, Riley harrumphed and looked down the bed to his bare feet, wiggling his toes.

  “What about you?” Seb asked. “You seeing anyone?”

  “Not for longer than a lunch hour.”

  “Still hitting and quitting, huh? And they let you, even with that beard?”

  Riley snorted, ignoring the way his brother’s words, as true as they were, made his chest tight. Jesus, he wasn’t about to yell and boast about the notches on his bedpost, but they were what they were, and he wasn’t ashamed. He enjoyed the women who came to his bed and he knew for damned certain that the feeling was mutual. He played safe and treated them right.

  Did the fact that his bed was empty after dark more often than it was occupied make him miserable? No. But it didn’t fill him with warm fuzzies, either. Having someone to love and hold at night was a comforting idea, of course, and he allowed it to flitter through his mind just as he had the day before at the body shop.

  But, as always happened, it fizzled and spluttered before it could gain any traction. For a split second, Lexie’s laughing face once again washed through his mind.

  You mean all the world to me.

  “So, what’s the plan? You gonna man up and see her?” Seb asked quietly as though reading Riley’s thoughts.

 

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