A Measure of Love

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A Measure of Love Page 14

by Sophie Jackson


  “Yeah. It’s going to make climbing to Apollo harder now, though.”

  Riley’s eyebrows jumped. “You want to go back into the spaceship?”

  Lexie blinked. “Of course. It’s my favorite thing to do with you.”

  Riley played with the hem of his T-shirt. “I like it, too. But we have to be careful, Lex. You really frightened me.”

  Lexie watched her friend for a moment as the pain in her arm was overwhelmed by something different, something warm and comforting. She reached out her free hand and placed it on Riley’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

  Riley sniffed. “It’s okay. It was an accident, but I thought . . . when you screamed. It was really scary.”

  “I’ll be more careful. Promise.”

  “I’m glad I was there,” Riley said softly. “Even though I was scared.”

  “I’m glad you were there, too.”

  “Maybe if you promise to always be careful, I’ll promise to always be there just in case.”

  Lexie smirked and held out her little finger. “Pinkie promise?”

  Riley snorted and shook his head before he wrapped his own little finger around hers. “Pinkie promise.”

  · · ·

  Lexie stood in front of the full-length mirror in her bedroom, hating every inch of what was reflected back at her. If she could have slapped the woman in the store who’d convinced her that red was her color and that a two-piece was the way to go, she would have. Lord. Was it this small in the store?

  She adjusted the top again, standing sideways to investigate how much side boob she was actually showing and pondering how much side boob would be regarded as distasteful at a public pool. The only thing she did like about it was the fact that it showed off her two newest tattoos, the pink orchid that curved up the right side to her ribs from the top of her thigh and the hummingbird on her left hip. The colors popped against her skin, blues and golds, greens and oranges.

  The more colorful the better, in her opinion. It wasn’t that she disliked simple black; she merely preferred color on her body. Riley only ever had black—save for the world on the inside of his arm—and his tattoos were really nice. Really, really nice. He’d had so many new pieces since the last time they’d seen one another—patterns of concentric circles on his shoulders, words she hadn’t been close enough to make out on his biceps and forearm, and what looked like a flock of swallows that dove and twisted around his collarbone. When he’d approached her in the park three days before, all ink, height, and Ray-Bans, she’d almost blown a gasket with how hot they were. The man could rock a tat like no one else. And that beard? Shit. At first it had been strange not to see that part of his face, a part she was intimately familiar with, but the more she stared at him—and stared she had—the more she understood why men grew them: they were sexy as hell.

  Lexie blew out her cheeks and rubbed her fingertips against her temples. It was thoughts like those that were going to get her into a lot of trouble. She’d felt the all-too-familiar snap and spark through her body when he touched her, but she knew they had to be sensible. Besides, the hurt and anger she’d seen in Riley’s eyes told her that she had a lot of making up and explaining to do before they could move forward. She couldn’t allow herself to forget what had been before, or that Noah was the most important thing in the universe to her. Forgetting all of that and falling back into bed with Riley would be a huge mistake. They’d played that scene out too many times, and Lexie knew how it ended.

  “Mommy!” Noah called as he sprinted into her bedroom and threw himself at the bed, scrabbling and clawing his way onto it. “Can I wear this?”

  He stood, bare feet on her comforter, showing off the Batman board shorts Lexie’s mom had bought him instead of an Easter egg. Lexie grinned at how far he’d pulled them up, covering his belly button to almost under his chest.

  “Don’t you look handsome?” she said as she moved to him, adjusting the shorts so they sat at his waist.

  “Riley said he likes Batman, sos I can show him these.” He fiddled distractedly with the drawstring ties.

  Lexie watched for a silent moment. “Do you like Riley, Noah?” Since meeting at the park, the four of them—Savannah included, because she was the perfect buffer between Lexie and Riley—had met again, just a quick coffee and a juice for Noah in the same coffee shop Lexie had worked in when she was sixteen.

  Riley had mentioned that he wanted to introduce Noah to his parents and brothers, which Lexie was more than happy for him to do. Lexie couldn’t forget the look of disappointment and shock on Joan’s face the day she’d seen Noah. Once again, reason and stupidity clashed around her heart. She’d tried to explain to Riley why she hadn’t told him and, honestly, she stood by it 100 percent. Her number-one priority was Noah, and that would never change. Sure, she was more than prepared to build bridges and face whatever Riley and his family threw at her, but she would always protect her son. No matter what.

  “I likes his beard,” Noah mused.

  Lexie laughed and pulled Noah closer, kissing his cheek and taking a deep breath of him. It was strange how sometimes he smelled the same as Riley did when they were kids. So much of her son reminded Lexie of him and seeing the two of them together, as beautiful as it was, was also eerie. Riley wasn’t wrong when he said that they looked alike—they were like two peas in a pod—but it was their mannerisms, too. They tilted their head identically when curious about something and cocked their eyebrow in that same derisive way. Even at four years old, Noah had that Moore characteristic down pat.

  “I love you,” she whispered into her son’s hair.

  “All the worlds, Mommy. Can we go to the pool now?”

  Lexie kissed Noah’s forehead and moved back to her closet. “In an hour. Riley is meeting us there, but he’s picking up his daddy from the hospital first.”

  “His daddy is sick?” Noah asked as he thumped back to the floor.

  “He’s better now. Go and get your stuff. You need to decide what toys you’re taking.”

  And with that Noah took off, leaving Lexie to breathe a sigh of relief, knowing she’d dodged a hell of a bullet.

  · · ·

  “I’m fine, Joan. For Pete’s sake, stop fussing!”

  Tate snickered and Riley shook his head as the two of them followed their parents through the front door and into the house. Upon his release, the hospital had suggested that once they got home, Park be transported from the car to the house in a wheelchair, but Park had responded with some pretty colorful words of disagreement. As an alternative, Joan gripped his arm as though the poor man were going to keel over at any second, babying him and guiding him with every step. It was clear that Park’s patience was running out.

  “Oh, stop whining,” Joan retorted as they all moved into the living room. “Take a seat.”

  Park settled carefully into his favorite chair with an eye roll. “It’s a few stitches, Joan. Relax.”

  “You relax. I don’t want to hear another word. You need to keep your blood pressure down.” She turned to Riley and Tate. “I’m making tea.” They watched her flounce toward the kitchen and collapsed into almost silent chuckles.

  “Yeah, laugh it up, you two,” Park commented, adjusting the cushions at his back.

  “I can laugh it up,” Tate said with a grin, moving toward his father so he could help make him comfortable. “She did it with me when I came out of the hospital; now it’s your turn.”

  Park grumbled again and rubbed a hand across his chest. “You okay, Dad?” Riley asked with a concerned frown.

  Park nodded and waved an indifferent hand in his direction. “I’d be better if you all stopped looking at me as though I’m gonna explode. Shoo. Go on. Go do something else.”

  “I’ll go and see if Mom wants a hand,” Tate said as he limped off in the direction of the kitchen, leaving Riley with their father and an enthusiastic thumbs-up. Bastard.

  Riley stood for a minute or so, watching his dad and hating the awkward silence, be
fore he took a seat on the large sofa. He sat on its edge, hands clasped between his knees. “It’s good to have you home,” he offered, to which Park simply lifted his eyebrows. Riley sighed. “Look, Dad, I know Mom has filled you in on what’s going on, but I wanted to tell you myself that I’m going to be sticking around Michigan a little while longer. Mom said I’m welcome to stay here at the house, but if you’re not happy with that I can make alternative—”

  “It’s fine, Riley,” Park answered with a deep breath. His gaze cut to his son briefly before he dipped his chin minutely. “It’s fine.”

  Riley cleared his throat. “Thank you, sir.”

  “You do what you have to,” Park added. “However long it takes.”

  Well, hell. Riley nodded. “Okay, well, I’m going to meet Lex and Noah now. I’ll see you later.”

  Park grunted and reached for the TV remote. Riley wandered into the kitchen to find Tate and his mother whispering like two school kids. They stopped when they saw Riley. “My ears are burnin’,” Riley quipped, opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water. “Anything I need to know?”

  Joan shook her head. “No.” She sipped her tea delicately. “I was just asking Tate if he knew what was going on with you and Alexis.”

  “And I told her,” Tate said, defending himself, “I know nothin’.”

  “You know nothin’ because there’s nothin’ to know,” Riley singsonged with a smirk. “I’m getting to know my son. End of.”

  “And that’s wonderful,” Joan said, placing her cup on the counter. “But what about you and Lexie?”

  Riley lifted his shoulders. “What about us?” He knew he was being obtuse and the purse of his mother’s lips told him she knew, too, but he didn’t want to lose himself in worrying or wondering about anything other than building a relationship with Noah.

  “I worry,” Joan said seriously. “You and she have a long history and you’ve both been hurt. She lied to you about Noah. I just want to know that you’re going to be careful.”

  Riley exhaled heavily. His mother’s concern was warming, but it was also unnecessary; Riley was focused on one thing and one thing only: Noah. “You don’t have to worry,” he told them both. “I know what I’m doing.” He didn’t stop to wonder why the words almost tasted like a lie.

  Joan’s stare was probing in the way only a mother’s look could be. “Fine,” she said, apparently seeing what she needed before she returned to the other room to check on Park.

  “I’ll see you soon, yeah?” Riley asked his brother as he grabbed his bag and headed toward the front door. Tate was heading back to Pennsylvania that afternoon for work.

  “Yeah, man. When will you be back in New York? I’ve got a meeting with Max at the end of the month.” Tate was Max’s Narcotics Anonymous sponsor and had been working with him since his release from rehab.

  Riley paused. “He okay?”

  “Oh yeah, yeah, he’s great—we just make a point of meeting at least once a month to catch up, talk about any bad days if he’s had them.”

  “Sure. I’ll probably be in the city at the same time, but I . . .” Riley started, running a hand through his hair. The weight of responsibility and questions about how he was going to organize his life now that Noah existed in his world lay heavily on his shoulders. “Seriously, I have no idea what I’m going to do about all of this. I mean, how can I be in New York when Noah’s here?”

  Tate placed a gentle hand on Riley’s shoulder and squeezed. “Don’t worry about that yet, man,” he soothed. “One step at a time. You’ll get there. You spoke to Max and Carter, right? And they’re cool. They’ll understand.”

  Riley nodded and pulled his brother into a hug. “Thanks, man.” They slapped each other on the back and stepped apart. “Take care, asshole,” Riley smiled, opening the front door.

  “You too, jerk-off.”

  · · ·

  Ten years ago . . .

  The squeal that erupted out of Lexie’s chest when she saw Riley loping toward her, hair in disarray and his bag on his back, should have been embarrassing. It certainly garnered a few surprised looks from the other people in the airport, but she didn’t care.

  She ran toward him and leaped at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Jesus, it was so good to see him. She smothered his face in kisses, ignoring his pleas for mercy and committing to memory the way his loud laugh shook his large shoulders under her hands.

  “I missed you so much,” she managed through her kisses. “So much.” It had been so long since she’d last seen him at spring break. Lexie had counted every day they were apart, hating each one equally, needing him back with her, needing his hands on her skin and his breath in her ear. The darkness that had followed her like a cape at her back was so much more suffocating when Riley wasn’t around, thick and unrelenting, leaving her tired and praying for a hole to hide in. Having him back at her side never failed to ease the unforgiving emptiness that took root when her father died.

  “I missed you, too, baby,” he whispered into her neck, holding her tightly. Slowly he let her down, her feet finding the floor. His eyes roamed over her face, concerned and loving. “How are you?”

  She wanted to tell him that life was an uphill battle that left her breathless and broken, that sleep was the only thing she ever looked forward to, but instead she smiled, not wanting him to worry about the depression label being bandied about by her doctor. “Better, now you’re here.”

  He curled an arm around her shoulder as she continued to cling to his waist, and they made their way out of arrivals toward the parking lot. Lexie kept her nose close to his chest, breathing him in. His scent had changed a little since he’d been in New York, changing from a more natural, woodsy smell to a metallic, urban aroma that wasn’t entirely displeasing. She’d gotten used to it, and even had the T-shirt he’d left on his last visit at Easter under her pillow so she could still take big gulps of his aftershave. She pulled it out when she was missing him—which was pretty much all the time—or when they talked on the phone and she needed to feel like he was near.

  It had been a long year since he’d left in September, but now that he was home for the summer after completing his first year at NYU, Lexie could allow herself to forget how difficult the past nine months—sporadic visits aside—had been without him.

  “So I have to take you straight home because your mom wants to see you, but then I get you all to myself,” she said as she maneuvered her car onto the freeway.

  “Sounds perfect,” he replied, lifting her free hand to his mouth and kissing the tips of her fingers. She loved it when he did that. “And what do you plan to do with me when you get me all to yourself?”

  Her stomach coiled in excitement. “I’ve made plans.”

  “I like plans. Do these plans involve you being naked?”

  She giggled. “Maybe.”

  He shifted closer, his mouth at the back of her ear. “Do they involve my face between your legs?”

  Shit. He was too damned good at saying the exact thing her body needed to hear. Heat pooled in her gut, and Riley snickered when she wiggled in her seat. “How about you wait and see,” she offered, her voice a little shaky.

  “Okay. I’ll be good.” He kissed her neck and his tongue flicked her earlobe. “But I swear to God, I can’t wait to be inside you again, Lex. It’s been too fucking long.”

  “Riley,” she gasped. “Stop before I pull over and blow you on the side of the road.”

  Riley laughed loudly. “Like that’s an incentive to make me stop!”

  One of the things that Lexie loved most about her and Riley’s relationship was the relative ease with which they fell back into what made them them. As much as they were a couple, and Lexie loved him with everything she was, Riley was also her best friend. Whenever he came home, despite wanting nothing more than to strip him naked and have her wicked way with him, she also looked forward to just sitting and talking.

  At the Moore
house, Lexie was welcomed as she always was by Joan with a kiss and a warm hug. She watched as Riley shook hands with his father. Tate, Seb, and Dex greeted their brother with playful thumps and backslaps. Lexie missed this, too. Joan continually invited Lexie over for dinner when Riley was away, but as grateful as she was, it didn’t feel the same without Riley being there. If anything, it made his absence all the more excruciating.

  They ate dinner around a banter-filled table, then Riley showered before the two of them climbed back into Lexie’s car with the intention of heading to her house. Savannah had been a lifesaver; she’d managed to convince their mother to try the new steak house in town, after which she’d gotten tickets for the newest rom com at the multiplex, leaving the place empty for at least a few hours.

  As soon as the front door shut behind them, Riley was on her. He pushed her against the wall, his mouth ravenous, moaning and gasping into Lexie as his hands fought with the button on her shorts. She cursed his belt buckle and his fly, pulling them open, laughing as Riley nibbled and sucked at her neck before she groaned obscenely loudly when his fingers pushed between her legs.

  “So wet, Lex,” he grunted, and pushed his fingers into her, making her back arch at the same time she called out his name. “That’s right. Feel it. Imagine my cock there.”

  Goddamn. His mouth was filthy and Lexie loved every minute of it. Becoming truly comfortable with himself when they were in bed, he’d started talking to her that way just before he’d left for New York and would frequently have her panting and moaning down the phone receiver whenever they had the privacy. The man was born for dirty talk and the harder and more turned on he got, the dirtier his words became. She’d lost count of the amount of orgasms he’d brought her to while whispering devilishly hot things into her ear.

  “We’re not going to make it to the bed, are we?” she moaned, gripping his cock with two hands, desperate for him.

  “How long do we have?”

  “Two hours.”

 

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