Riley tipped his drink toward hers and she tapped the side of the plastic with her own. “Cheers.”
Riley nodded. “It’s been a good day.”
Lexie wound her finger through the condensation on her beer cup. “It has.”
Riley raised his hand and pointed to the scar he’d noticed earlier, visible just above her bikini bottoms. “You have a C-section?”
Lexie looked down at herself. “Yeah.” She patted Noah’s foot. “This little guy was breech.”
“I was upsides downs,” Noah added, without looking up from the small Yoda figurine he was playing with and feeding apple slices to.
“And the doctors didn’t want to leave him too long,” Lexie continued. “So they decided a section was the way to go.”
Riley glanced to his beer, then back at Lexie. “Who was with you?”
“Mom. And Sav.” At least she looked apologetic, but Riley’s heart stung regardless. Lexie pressed her lips together and sighed. “Riley, in my mind, I made the right decision for me then. Now? I hate that I took that moment away from you. Truly. And I’d give anything to be able to turn the clock back.”
Riley looked out to the pool, watching a young couple hug and kiss in the water.
He knew Lexie was waiting for the fight, the argument, the demanding of answers, but he really didn’t want to get into it in front of Noah. He sure as shit would be insisting on her explaining why she didn’t try harder to get in contact at a later date, but sitting in the sun on a cloudless day with the sensation of Noah’s hand still burning his palm, Riley was content enough to let it go.
“What did you crave?” he asked suddenly. Lexie blinked. “When you were pregnant, what food?”
“Skittles.” She chuckled. “The red ones especially.”
“I loves Skittles!” Noah exclaimed, lifting and dropping his feet onto the lounger in excitement. “But I’m not allowed sugars. Only when I’ve been good as a treats.”
Riley laughed into his beer. The little dude sounded like an old man sometimes. Lexie’s smile fell gradually as she observed Riley. She had yet to put her glasses back on and her blue eyes were careful.
“Ask me,” he encouraged.
“What was it like?” she asked before glancing back at Noah, who was busy playing with his fruit. “Inside.”
Surprised by the curve in conversation, Riley turned sideways on his lounger, placing his feet on the hot asphalt, his knees millimeters from Lexie’s, and sipped his beer. “Boring mostly. I served fourteen months of an eighteen-month sentence and that was enough for me. Never again.”
“Why did you do it? I mean, did you need money that badly?”
Riley shook his head. “No. The money was just an added bonus. I was helping a friend out. I stored the car parts in my shops for him, knowing they were hot. I’d done it time and time again without trouble, so I grew cocky and I got busted. End of. It was a stupid choice, but I made it, I owned it, and I served my time.”
The answer seemed to appease her enough. “I guess we’ve both made stupid choices along the way, huh?”
Riley exhaled. “I guess, yeah.” He swallowed hard when their gazes stayed connected, feeling her in places inside only she’d ever had the ability to touch. “I thought of you.” At his words, her top teeth trailed across her bottom lip.
“I thought of you, too,” she admitted.
Fuck, she was so damned gorgeous sitting there all wide-eyed and breathless that Riley wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss her. He glanced at Noah, who was oblivious and still playing with his apple and Yoda, and reeled the feeling in quickly. It was too damned easy to lose his head around her.
Lexie’s mouth opened a little. “My feelings for you never changed, Riley,” she whispered. “But things are different now.”
Hearing her declare as much pumped Riley’s blood around his body even faster, and he immediately began to disregard all of the concerns he’d voiced to Tate. Of course the feeling was mutual. Dammit, Riley had never wanted a woman more. She’d set a bar that was sky fucking high and no one would ever get close to it. “Maybe things being different is a good thing,” he hedged. “Maybe wanting things the way they were is where we went wrong so many times before.”
Looking contemplative, Lexie replied, “Maybe.”
“Maybe you and I can go out and talk about it sometime. Just us.”
Her gaze danced across his. “I’d like that.”
12
As it always did during the annual National Cherry Festival, E State Street looked like a cherry had vomited over everything. The place was teeming with people getting ready to watch the parade. The hot afternoon air was cooled by the gentle breeze off the bay and smelled of cherries, burgers, and hot dogs, while the fairground thumped in the distance. It had been too long since Riley had attended the festival and, standing amid the hubbub, dodging balloons and people of all ages and sizes, he realized he’d missed it.
He knew many of the locals hated the noise and the mess the festival traffic left and all that, but he’d always enjoyed it and, being there to meet Lexie and Noah made it all the more exhilarating. His mom was somewhere among the crowds with Aunt Carol, Maggie, and Rosie, but they were keeping themselves scarce, not wanting to confuse Noah too much—despite Joan almost foaming at the mouth in her excitement at getting to know her grandson better—or overwhelm Lexie, while his dad had decided to skip the parade, still not feeling ready to be on his feet for too long. He was more than happy, he said, to stay at home and read a book.
Riley looked down at his cell phone when it vibrated in his hand. It was a text from Lexie. His heart flip-flopped in his chest seeing her name on the screen, which was hysterical, really; it wasn’t as if they’d never texted before. It had just been a long damned time since they had.
Look up.
Doing as he was asked, he saw Lexie, Noah, Savannah, and Jaime, the girl from Lexie’s store, all waving huge cherry festival foam fingers in his direction from across the street. He waved back before jogging over to join them. Noah was wearing the obligatory Traverse City T-shirt, complete with cherry emblem, as well as modeling an awesome pair of bright red sunglasses that practically covered half of his small face.
Riley crouched down and held out his hand for Noah to slap, which he did without question; it was slowly becoming their thing, and Riley loved it. “Dude, can you even see through those things?”
“Yes,” Noah said, his lisp catching the s. “I can sees you fine.”
Riley ruffled the boy’s hair a little and stood back up, looking straight at Lexie. “Hey,” he said before smiling at Sav and Jaime. “So what’s the plan, guys?”
“Parade!” Noah yelled, jumping at Riley’s hip.
“Sounds good,” Riley replied, placing a hand on Noah’s shoulder. “You all eaten yet?”
“No, we’re starving,” Jaime commented as she pushed her shades into her hair. “I need to eat before I meet my friends and we start drinking.”
“I want cherries!” Noah added. “Can I, Mommy?”
Lexie smiled down at him. “Sure, let’s go. But make sure you’re holding someone’s hand all the time, okay? There’re too many people around, and I don’t want you to get lost.”
“I won’ts get lost,” he assured her innocently while wafting his foam finger. “Promise.”
“Good boy. Grab a hand.”
Riley couldn’t hold back the grin when the first hand Noah went for was his. He felt the small fingers wrap around his own and instinctively held on as tightly as he could. He knew nothing would or could break his hold on his son’s hand, understanding with a jolt just how protective he was of the little guy. How was it possible to feel something so powerful so quickly? He had no idea, but he embraced it unequivocally.
The five of them wandered toward the cherry stalls, answering Noah’s quick-fire questions as they moved: What’s that? Why is it cherries and not bananas? Can we go to the fair? Can I get a balloon? Can I have a big bur
ger? He was relentless, and apparently obsessed with food, but Riley found himself utterly captivated, trying to answer what he could without undermining Lexie’s rules. It was a tricky line to walk, but Lexie appeared open to Riley’s opinion, which eased a small knot of anxiety at the base of his neck.
Taking three baskets of cherries, they decided to make their way around the other stalls, investigating the handmade food and artifacts ranging from pots and glass to pictures and wine. Conversation between Lexie and Riley was light, but Riley couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being careful around her sister and friend and, honestly, he wasn’t sure how to take it. Their day at the pool had been so relaxed; they’d chatted and played with Noah, all but forgetting the tension between them. Now, however, the unease and apprehension was much heavier.
He was struck with the cold sensation of déjà vu. He should have seen it coming, he supposed. Lexie protected herself and her heart by pushing people away. She’d done it for years; it was why their relationship had been so devastatingly sporadic. Riley knew it stemmed from her losing her father so suddenly, but even after all these years, it still didn’t make her cautiousness any easier to take.
“Everything okay?” he asked as they sat on a wooden bench, while Jaime and Savannah waited in the face-painting line with Noah.
Lexie nodded, her focus shifting between her son and the cherries in her hand. She closed her eyes for a beat and sighed. “Actually no.”
Riley tried to keep a leash on his dread and pushed a cherry into his mouth. “Anything I can help with?”
“No,” she responded quickly. “It’s me. I—the truth is, I had a dream about you last night.”
Riley swallowed the cherry hard. “Oh.”
She looked at him. “It was about when you went to London.”
Riley’s chest gave a small squeeze of painful melancholy.
Lexie sat back. “I woke up this morning feeling . . .” She cupped a palm to her forehead. “Jesus, Riley, I was—I was a mess back then and I—”
“You were grieving, Lex. Depressed. You’d never given yourself a chance to let your feelings out, looking after your mom and Sav. It had to happen eventually.”
“I know,” she agreed quietly. “But I shouldn’t have pushed you away like I did.” She moved her glasses up her nose. “I thought I was doing the right thing.” She smiled sardonically. “I seem to do that a lot.” She pushed a hand through her hair. “I make bad decisions, obviously. I treated you so badly and there’s no excuse for that.”
Riley was momentarily speechless. They’d never really spoken about what had happened between them all those years ago. They’d screamed and shouted at each other about it on a few separate occasions, sure—his visit five years ago included—but never spoken like two sensible adults. Hearing her talk about it brought the memories back to Riley thick and fast.
He remembered coming back from London, begging her to reconsider, only to have her push him away even farther as she lost herself in a depression so thick he could barely see the girl he loved. He tried to get through to her for months, calling, texting, even writing her letters, but it was no use. It was like fighting against a tidal wave; the harder he fought, the stronger the dark current became, dragging her down with it.
After almost a year, exhausted and broken, Riley eventually gave up and threw himself headfirst into the social side of college, partying and fucking around in a desperate effort to cleanse himself of the grief and misery that ravaged his twenty-year-old heart. It was about that time he first met Carter and Max.
“I’m so sorry,” Lexie whispered. “I’m sorry for so much. You didn’t deserve any of it.”
Riley’s throat was suddenly a little tight. He reached over and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You weren’t you, Lex. It was . . . It’s done. We’re okay.”
Besides, it wasn’t as though he didn’t punish her for it enough back then. In his heartbroken state, he’d behaved appallingly, flaunting girls in front of her and saying some truly despicable things. It had hurt every time he’d seen her after that, and all he’d wanted was to make her hurt just as much by pretending she meant nothing. It was either that or drop to his knees at her feet and beg her to take him back. They’d both been young and had hurt each other deeply, despite his loving her with every fiber of his being.
“So listen,” Lexie added. “My mom is coming over later this evening. She wants to come to the festival tomorrow to see the second parade with Noah. She’s staying at my place and said she’d look after Noah if I wanted to go out.”
It took a second for the penny to drop. “Tonight?”
“Yeah, if you still want to. We could. Tonight.”
Riley smiled, despite the whirling sensation in his stomach. “Sounds good. Maybe we could go to the Bayside concert. Have a few drinks.”
Lexie smiled. “Seven o’clock? I can text you my address.”
“Perfect.”
“Mommy, look!”
Noah’s yell pulled both of their heads snapping toward him. He was running over to them, his face a huge Batman symbol of black, yellow, and glittering silver. Sav and Jaime followed him, each of them with a flower painted on her cheek.
“Look at you!” Lexie laughed as Noah barreled into her.
“Riley, do you see?” Noah asked, patting his palm on Riley’s knee. “I asked for Batmans and she did it!”
Riley narrowed his eyes as though inspecting the work. Noah waited patiently for his approval. “That’s the most awesome thing ever, buddy. I’m super jealous.”
“Yous get one, too?”
“Nah, man,” Riley said with a smile, Noah’s earnestness almost breaking his heart. “I can’t compete. You’re Batman today.”
Noah laughed and turned to Lexie. “Can we see the parade now?”
“Absolutely,” Lexie replied. “Let’s go.”
“Can you carry me so I can sees them?”
“You’re too heavy, baby,” Lexie answered as she stood. “You’re such a big boy now. We’ll find a spot where you can see. I promise.”
Riley scratched the back of his neck. “He could sit on my shoulders if he wants.”
Lexie blinked up at him, then looked down at Noah, whose eyes had widened so much, Riley feared they might pop out. “Can I, Mommy?”
“Sure. But you have to hold on tight and listen to everything Riley says.”
“I swears it!”
Riley crouched down. “Come on then, man. Jump on.”
Little feet and fingers grabbed and squeezed, pinching Riley’s neck and shoulders as he clambered on, but Riley didn’t give a shit. Small knees and legs dangled around either side of his neck while Riley held up his hands for Noah to take. “You ready, Batman?”
He grabbed Riley’s hands. “Ready!”
“Hold on.” Riley stood carefully and Noah squealed with laughter.
“Yous a giant! And your beard tickles my knees.”
Riley laughed with him, noticing the affectionate look Lexie was giving them both. “Let’s go see that parade.”
· · ·
Lexie couldn’t help but feel a little pleased with herself that she’d changed her outfit only a couple of times before meeting Riley. She finally settled on a sleeveless, patterned maxidress, a wide brown belt to bring in the waist, and flip-flops. It was a humid evening and she wanted to be comfortable. She knew the Bayside concert would be crammed with people, but she was excited all the same.
A night out with Riley Moore. It was like she was sixteen again, all flushed cheeks and pounding heart. The nerves skittered through her, too, which wasn’t surprising. What had been surprising was Riley’s reaction to her apology that afternoon. It was a shame it had taken so long for her to voice, and the guilt clung tightly, but his swift acceptance of it loosened its hold ever so slightly.
Knowing—and having beaten herself up over the fact—that she’d instigated the heartache between the two of them, she’d appreciated his forgiveness mor
e than she ever thought possible. Over the years, Lexie had seen various counselors and doctors about her grief and subsequent depression in an effort to understand why she wanted to close herself off and push those she loved away.
Of course, the answer was pretty obvious—her father’s death had taken with it her natural ability to trust and have faith in people and situations. Unsurprisingly, having Noah helped her massively. Having a precious, fragile creature that relied entirely on her finally gave Lexie faith in something she hadn’t had faith in for years: herself. Her next step to gaining back the rest of the control was to open Love, You. Taking on such a project with the support of her mom and Savannah gave her an incredible feeling and convinced her that taking chances on things, and on people, wasn’t as scary as she’d thought.
Her job now was to work at building bridges with Riley and his family. She’d loved Riley more than anything, and his family—Joan, especially—had become very important to her. She couldn’t forget the look of shock and hurt that had been so pronounced on Joan’s face when she’d seen Noah for the first time, and it killed Lexie that she’d caused it. As much as she had made the right decision for her and Noah when he was born, the regret she harbored was more than a little obvious in the reflection that stared back at her. With a sigh and a plan to right all her wrongs, she turned from the mirror and headed downstairs.
Lexie’s mom, Christine, was in the living room with a pajama-clad Noah. She looked up from the coloring book they were both working on and smiled. “I like that dress.”
“You looks pretty, Mommy,” Noah commented, glancing up quickly.
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