The Roommate Arrangement

by Vanessa Waltz

  He gave me a sidelong grin that looked like his father’s. “Right.”

  "I mean it." My heart was beating in my ears as I stole myself to tell him. Luke's father hadn't been what I pictured. Luke had painted a dark portrait of an evil, masochistic villain, but all I saw was a man full of pain, bewildered by his son's coldness. He was horribly misguided, but evil? I didn't think so. Still, on the whole, Luke would be better off without his dad in his life.

  “I wish I had your dad,” I confessed.

  “Your foster parents must have been pretty terrible if you prefer him.” He looked at me and flinched. “Sorry.”

  “No one ever gave a damn about me. If I died, no one would notice. No one except Natalie. I don’t know what being loved feels like.”

  “Neither do I.”

  “Your mother loved you. I think even your dad might love you in his own sick, twisted way.”

  He laughed as he sipped the dregs of his drink. “How would you know?”

  “We had a—a talk.”

  “‘Bout what?”

  I took his hand and set it in my lap, squeezing his palm. “He told me things about you—about your mom. Maybe if you knew them, it might change your feelings about him.”

  Luke slipped his hand out of my grasp, shaking his head.

  "He said he paid for psychiatrists and therapists and everything under the moon for your mom, and he hid her depression from you. To protect you. That's why he sent you away from his in-laws, who were demanding more money and suing him. He didn't want you to see all that."

  Luke, who had been shaking his head harder the more I talked, slammed his fist into the bar table so that the glasses fell on their sides. “No! Everything he says is a lie.”

  “Luke, in all fairness, why would he lie about that? He could furnish proof if you asked for it.”

  He turned, anger thickening his features. “Then why not tell me about all this? Why did he make me think it was my fault she died?”

  “He didn’t know that you felt that way. It’s screwed up, but like I said, he thought he was doing the best thing for you. He told me he wanted you to become normal—not consumed with greed like your cousins and uncle. And you know what, it worked.” Even though I told his father otherwise, I believed it now. Growing up away from all that money and influence—wasn’t that a good thing? “I think you should go back there and talk to him.”

  He slammed a few notes on the bar table. “I don’t care. It’s too late for me to hear all of this.”

  “I told your dad something.”

  Luke’s wavering, drunken eyes fixed on me. “Told him what?”

  “That I’m in love with you.”

  He blinked and said nothing as my heart hammered my chest. Then he chuckled, and the sound cut through me like a knife.

  “Did he buy it?”

  Hollowness resonated inside me. He would never believe me.

  “Luke, I meant it about the money. I don’t want you to pay me anymore. If I could, I would give it all back to you.”

  His eyebrows were in danger of disappearing in his hair. “Why?”

  My heart seemed to jump out of my chest.

  Just say it.

  A loud voice I had never heard before echoed inside my head; it filled me with courage.

  Go after what you want.

  “Because being with you has been the best time of my life and I don’t want to be paid for it. I want it to be real.”

  His hot hand closed over my wrist, making me meet his intense gaze. He was stunned. His dark blue eyes were wide, and his mouth trembled.

  I didn’t want to hear it. I leaned into him and his arm wrapped around my waist. My lips silenced his, and I tasted the alcohol swirling in his mouth and the smell of his hair that was his, clouding the air like perfume. I remembered hotly the night we fucked and how his smell lingered all over my body. I deepened the kiss, knowing that this couldn’t last and that I might as well enjoy it. He looked at me, breathless, as though he had never seen me before.

  “Luke, I know you don’t feel the same, but I had to tell you.”

  My hand slid from his grasp, and I walked away from him then. My heart and head felt lighter. Why was I so happy and wracked with sadness? The possibilities were widening in front of me like a map with a hundred thousand different paths and destinations. I was free to explore them all.

  After Luke had sobered up, he found me waiting outside of the hospice on a park bench. He explained that we would see his relatives as a last ditch effort to convince his dad that this wasn't a scam. It was plain that Luke had chosen to ignore everything I had said in the bar. We drove to their house in complete silence.

  Well, I guess I scared him off.

  My jaw dropped as the car turned into a gated driveway, which led to the biggest mansion I had ever seen. It was Gatsby-level big, with a manicured lawn and flowers that looked like they were changed once a month. I swallowed as I saw workers entering and exiting the house like bees. Tables and chairs, silver and black balloons, trays and trays of catered food floated through that tiny entrance. I looked down at myself and swore. We just left the hospice, and there had been no time to change.

  “You didn’t tell me there was a damn party!”

  "It's my uncle's birthday. Don't worry, we'll go upstairs, and you can change. It's only noon."

  I gaped at him. “You didn’t mention—I didn’t get a gift or anything!”

  He rolled his eyes. “Uncle Dominic has everything he wants.”

  Whatever he said, I still thought it would reflect poorly on me. Come six o'clock, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a mountain of gifts in the foyer for Uncle Dominic.

  The car door was flung open before I could adjust my glare and then I slid out of the leather seat, walking behind Luke as he headed toward the front.

  “I’ll find my aunt and introduce you, and then we can go upstairs into the guest bedroom.”

  I ran my fingers through my hair, finding it hopelessly tangled. Feeling close to laughter, I walked inside the mansion. The floors were too good for my sneaker feet. The marble foyer looked like it had just been polished. Beyond that, I could see dark mahogany hardwood floors in the living room, a modern stainless steel kitchen peeking around the corner. I wanted to sprint up the ebony staircase and hide in one of the guest rooms.

  Luke, however, was at home. I didn't know how he always looked unruffled, as though he stepped out of a men's fashion magazine.

  “Aunt Beth! I’m here!”

  A motherly looking woman in her sixties appeared. I was pleased that she dressed in casual clothing. She wasn’t pretty, but she was the sort of person you would be glad to see if you were feeling down.

  Luke grinned from ear to ear as she seized his head and kissed his cheek.

  “I’m so happy to see you. You look wonderful.”

  “Thanks, Auntie.”

  Something had happened to Luke. There was lightness in his eyes, and his face was smooth. I realized with a shock that Luke was—happy.

  Still smiling, he motioned toward me, and I stepped forward. "This is my girlfriend, Jessica. I told you about her on the phone."

  “Oh, yes! It’s lovely to meet you.”

  I felt the warmth from her smile in her handshake, and I couldn’t help it—I grinned back. “Thank you for letting us stay here. It’s kind of you.”

  “It’s no trouble at all. Both of you are always welcome.”

  I watched in fascination as Luke allowed himself to be steered upstairs.

  “You two must be exhausted. Why don’t you take a nap and I’ll fix you a snack when you wake up?”

  Luke’s hand curled around mine as he walked toward to the guest bedroom. “Sounds good. Don’t go through too much trouble.”

  “Not at all.”

  The exhaustion settled in as Luke opened the door to a room with a magnificent four-poster bed, our luggage already sitting nearby. There was a flat screen television, an armoire, and an adjacent bathroom.<
br />
  I guess we have to share the bed.

  Luke turned around with a worried expression on his face, having come to the same realization.

  “I can sit in the chair while—”

  “We had sex, remember? It’s not a big deal.”

  Why was he trying to sweep it all under the rug? Maybe I was just tired. I ripped back the covers and saw that Luke was still staring at me. He froze me with that hungry, searching look. Before I knew it, he was standing right in front of me, demanding my full attention. My body seemed to shake with my pounding heart.

  “Jessica, what you said earlier—did you mean it? You want me to stop paying you?”

  I couldn't think when he was so close. He always made me feel breathless, but I knew the answer to his question. I had been bursting to tell him for days.

  “Yes, I meant it. I want you, Luke. I don’t care about the money anymore, I want you.” My voice sounded rushed, and I didn’t look away from his eyes. I wanted him to believe me.

  Believe me.

  “I want you, too. All the time and everywhere.”

  I could feel his heat descending on me like fog. His fingers grazed my lip, my jaw, and my ears as though he could hardly believe that I existed. His lips hovered over mine and touched me. It was sensitive; unlike the passionate fury, he had shown me in London. It made my skin flame.

  It only lasted a few seconds, our fatigue transformed into suppressed desire. His tongue swept inside my mouth as a fire leaped inside my chest. He reached up with one hand and tore apart my blouse with a violent jerk; several of the buttons snapped off and darted across the hardwood floors.

  The ruined blouse fell to the floor in a crumpled heap and Luke slid around my back and unsnapped my bra, a thrill scorching my skin as he covered my breasts with his hands, groping them hard. I reached under his shirt and felt his abdominal muscles shiver. His warmth left my tits so I could pull the shirt over his head.

  I did not understand how he had the time to maintain his flawless body. I ran my fingers along his clavicle, around his shoulder and back toward the taut muscles on his chest. He pulled me in and my breasts flattened against his chest, both of us thrilled at the contact. He grabbed my hair and tugged sharply; then his lips were caressing mine, sucking on my bottom lip as his hands fell from my head. He stroked my back with his fingers until they anchored over my ass. He lifted me, his hardness grinding against my pussy.

  “Jessica, take off your pants.”

  I clenched inside as he gave me the order. His face wore a concerned look as he tilted my head with a finger.

  “Are you okay?”

  I wasn’t sure. There was still a prickle of fear. There was doubt when I knew there shouldn’t be. I hated how that bastard somehow ruined every intimate moment I had with a man I wanted. Would this ever go away?

  No, I won’t let him ruin this for me. I’m not broken.

  I reached down and pulled my jeans off.

  His face softened. “God, you’re gorgeous.”

  Luke knelt down, and his fingers played with the thin cotton of my panties. His middle finger curled underneath, stroking the slightly damp mound, riding between my lips. I gasped as I felt him and widened my stance. It was like a ball of electrical current pounding between my legs.

  He planted wet kisses on the inside of my thighs, gently teasing the fabric. Fingernails scraped my skin as he pulled the panties down, and then I could feel his warm breath billowing over my pussy.

  Oh, Jesus. My legs trembled, and I let out a moan. His lips kissed me, and his tongue quickly darted out, sliding between my lips.

  “Luke—oh!”

  No one had ever done this to me. The wet, slippery tongue nudged my clit, penetrating me as his mouth closed over it all as if he wanted to devour me. Then he sucked hard, and I fought the urge to grind myself against his lips. It felt so goddamn good, and my juices were flowing all over him, making wet, obscene noises that made my chest flush. Then he pulled away and cold air stung my wet core; he planted another kiss on my mound before I yanked him to his feet.

  He was smiling in a self-assured way, brimming with the confidence that had first drawn me to him. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist me.”

  I pulled his head close so we could both feel each other’s breath. My hands slid up and down his gorgeous neck, and my thumbs moved over the bump on his throat. I loved every inch of him.

  “You couldn’t resist me either.”

  His swollen lips beckoned me. I couldn’t resist any part of him; I was addicted. My mouth crashed against his and I didn’t care I could taste myself on his lips; I wanted him to know how much I wanted him. My palm ran along the hard bump in his jeans.

  The first button popped out, and my fingers moved deftly, unzipping his pants and slipping off the tight, black briefs so I could cradle the whole length of him in my hands.

  Luke’s face was glowing as he followed me into the tiled bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror above the sink, watching myself in fascination as a handsome, dark-haired man enveloped his arms around my belly and kissed my neck.

  I sighed with every hot kiss he planted on me, melting away some of my anxiety.

  “Your heart’s beating fast.”

  He could feel it pounding under my left breast. I turned around and gripped Luke’s waist, trying to bury myself in his comforting warmth. I couldn’t. I kept feeling the palm of Vincent’s hand, slamming into my back. I grabbed the edge of the sink as I was thrown forward and looked up, marveling at the cruelty of someone with such a beautiful face.

  No, don’t!

  Luke whispered things in his soothing voice that made the pain and violence slowly fade away. I never told him about any of it, but somehow, he knew when I was hurting and how exactly to comfort me. I sniffed as my chest filled with affection for him.

  “Jessica, maybe you’re not ready for this. We don’t have to do anything; I’m happy just to be with you.”

  It was such a perfect thing to say, but I shook my head. “No, I want this.”

  He looked at me doubtfully, but I took his hands and I let him feel how wet I was.

  The cocky grin was back on his face. “You do, don’t you?”

  My core heated as his eyes lingered over my breasts. He backed me against the cold wall, drinking every square inch of me. My gaze fell on the thickness between his legs, which stood at attention like a soldier. I wrapped my fingers around him and tugged, remembering how incredible it had felt to have all of him inside me. His arms snaked around my back and lifted me onto his waist.

  I giggled as my legs slid around him, marveling at the strength in his arms. His eyes were full of that irresistible, frightening intensity and I knew that he couldn't wait another moment. I saw his powerful back in the mirror, my legs locked around him. He crushed me against the wall and thrust upward, his cock impaling my needy warmth. The pleasurable shock of it erupted from my mouth in a guttural moan.

  Every thrust made my thighs tighten around his waist. Every roll of his powerful back rocked through me, grinding my back against the wall. Something was shifting inside as his thrusts became more urgent. I gripped his shoulders and dug my nails into his flesh, not caring about anything in the world except this wonderful feeling shooting through my body. He plunged into my depths, our mouths meeting and parting in gasping breaths, and I felt the pressure building. I trembled and came hard, my core contracting around him.

  Luke's breathing was fast, and he might have said something, and then his deep groans filled the small bathroom. His hips slammed me against the wall, and he buried his face in my neck. He stayed there for a moment, his thickness deep inside me, and then his arms shook as he lowered me to the floor.

  “God, Luke.”

  He gave me a shaky laugh. “That was pretty amazing.”

  I glowed as he leaned forward to kiss me again.

  “Do you want to take a shower?”

  Moments later, we stumbled into it together, laughing. I shriek
ed as he turned on the shower and the water struck me with a cold blast, but Luke moved in front of it, biting back laughter.

  “Sorry about that,” he said with a playful grin.

  I swatted at his shoulder, but he caught my hand and kissed it. My heart thudded against my chest as I felt his lips on my skin.

  I’m crazy about him.

  The glass walls filled with steam as the hot water sprayed across our bodies. Luke grabbed a bar of soap and soaped up my curves. My desire for him, which could never really be satisfied, shot up. I was in awe of him, and full of so much happiness I thought I would burst. He wanted me, for all my flaws, he wanted me. And I needed him.

  It wasn’t a fake relationship anymore, was it? I looked up at him and tried to decipher it from his face. No, it wasn’t enough. I needed him to tell me—or I’d never believe it.

  “Luke, what does this mean?”

  The water sprayed over his head, dripping down his face, making him look more youthful and beautiful. His lips were red from kissing me. “I’m not sure. Let’s play it by ear and take it slow.”

  What did you expect? An angry voice inside me said. Did you think he would bend on one knee and propose? You’ve only known each other for a few months.

  He noticed. I pulled against him, unable to disguise the hurt on my face. He trapped me. “Jessica, I want to be your boyfriend. I really do, but you must understand that I have my own demons to deal with. I don’t trust easily, and it will take time.”

  Luke didn't promise anything, but at least he was willing. I nodded. I could understand that. If I wanted him, I needed to be patient. He’s worth it, I thought as his lips caught mine again.

  9

  A muscular arm snaked around my bare waist. My eyes snapped open, and my chest froze as I felt a body behind me. It wasn't until I recognized Luke's voice, husky with fatigue, that I relaxed. I turned over on the bed as he ran his hand up and over my curves.

  His face wrinkled slightly with sleep lines, but his voice was full of energy. “Good evening, beautiful.” He winked at me.

  I couldn’t believe I was in bed with him. I touched his chest, and he stroked my back with his fingertips. It was as though we were a real couple. “I want to stay in bed.”