by Wendy Stone
It was all too much, too hard to deal with. When her mother and father came into the room, tears were still running down her face and she was gasping between sobs, trying to get enough oxygen to her lungs. “I wanna see him,” she gasped at them. “I need to see him, please!”
“Oh, baby. W-we didn’t know when you would wake up. Honey, his parents buried Matt three weeks ago. I’m so, so sorry.” Carole reached out, her hands on Cadie’s arms.
“He’s gone? No, he can’t be. Why couldn’t they wait?”
“Cadie, we didn’t know how long you’d be in that coma.” She turned her head, holding her hand out to her husband, Terry.
“Baby, we didn’t know if you’d come out of it. The doctors told us that it was more that you were unable to accept the facts that were filtering to you and that was why you were under. The doctor said he didn’t know how long you would feel the need to run.”
“Daddy,” Cadie said, holding out her arms to him. His strong arms held her close, rocking her gently. He whispered in her ear.
“It’s okay, baby. Hang on to Daddy.” He held her, his hand stroking over her hair. “Shh, baby. Shh, just hang on to Ddaddy, baby. We love you, honey. We love you, your momma and I love you.” He glanced up, staring at his wife helplessly. He crooned nonsense words to her, rocking her slowly until she finally calmed, occasional sobs shaking her shoulders. Terry finally let her lay back against the hospital bed, but his hand came up, pushing her hair out of her face. He gave her the damp washcloth her mother had brought. It was cool against her flushed cheeks and felt good against the throbbing in her temples.
“They...they got them. They got them, Daddy, didn’t they?”
“You shouldn’t worry about that now, baby. You need to concentrate on getting better. Now that you’re awake, we can think about getting you out of here and back home where we can take care of you.” He pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. Her hair had grown since she’d been here, but the beautiful brown curls were now stringy and dull. Her cheeks were hollowed and her eyes seemed lifeless.
“But, Daddy, the men who killed Mattie, who took him away from me...they need to be made to pay.”
“They will be, baby.”
“There’s been a police detective who wants to talk to you, Cadie.” Carole glanced at Terry as she heard his hiss at her words. “She needs to know, Terry.”
“She just woke up, Carole. Let’s not push things too fast.” He stroked her hair once more. “We can worry about all of that when she’s stronger.”
“No, Daddy. I want to know. They have t-to pay.” Big tears slid down her white cheeks, making her eyes appear luminous. She sat up, leaning against her dad’s shoulder and holding her hand out to her mother. She felt her mother’s cool fingers clasp to hers. “I-I have to know.”
Terry nodded, though Cadie could see that he wasn’t happy about it. “Cadie, they haven’t been able to find the boys that did this to you and Mattie. That’s why the detective keeps coming around. He hopes you’ll be able to identify them.”
Cadie closed her eyes for an instant and then nodded. “Y-Yes. I can.”
“But not today,” Terry said. “You’ve just woken up, baby. We don’t want you to do too much too quickly.”
“No Daddy. I need to do this now. Before I forget.”
Terry sighed but nodded. He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and tugged out his wallet. Opening it, he reached into the money slit and pulled out a pristine white business card. “If you’re determined to do this today, I’ll go call him.”
Cadie nodded, wiping her eyes with her hands and then with the washcloth. “Yes. I have to do this today. I have to.”
Terry rose. He bent and kissed her gently on the cheek and then headed out of the hospital room.
Cadie watched him go, her eyes still full of the tears that kept slipping over her cheeks. “Momma?” She held her hands out to her and then let her head rest against her mother’s shoulder. “Why do I hurt?”
Carole took a deep breath and then lifted her hands, sliding them over Cadie’s cheeks and cupping her face. “Those boys...” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “They hurt you, Cadie. Those boys...hurt you.”
Cadie rubbed her stomach where the deep ache seemed to have settled. She sighed and then looked up at her mother. “You mean they r-raped me.”
“Yes, baby. But there was no lasting damage. It will just take you a bit to heal completely.” She pressed a kiss against Cadie’s forehead.
“I...I don’t remember,” Cadie cried. “Why don’t I remember?”
“You hit your head, honey. That’s why you don’t remember. That’s why you’ve been in the coma. But you’re awake now and that’s all that matters. You’re going to be just fine.” She wiped away the tears that fell from Cadie’s eyes. Carole could see the hurt, the confusion and the hate that were in her daughter’s eyes and she hurt for her. “Oh, baby, no. Don’t cry, Cadie.”
“It hurts, Momma.” Sobs just built inside of her until she couldn’t control them and she buried her face in her mother’s shoulder.
“I hear our patient is awake.”
Cadie stiffened, her eyes wildly going from her mother to the man with the white jacket over pale teal scrubs. “Momma?”
“It’s okay, Cadie. Doctor McHale has been taking care of you since you were brought in.” Carole moved to get up from the bed, stopping only when Cadie hung onto her. “It’s okay.” She nodded when Cadie looked up.
The doctor had a nice smile and he kept it constant and warm as he looked over at Cadie. “I didn’t think you were ever going to wake up.”
“I...I’m sorry.”
“Oh, don’t be sorry. I was just teasing. Will it be okay if I check your injuries, see how they are healing?”
Cadie managed to keep from flinching as the doctor examined her. When he was done, he smiled down at her. “I think we’re going to keep you overnight, just for observation, and then we’ll ship you on out of here and send you home. I’ll have the nurse come in and unhook you from all of this and we’ll let you get up and sit in a chair for a while. Expect to tire easily, Cadie. Your body hasn’t done much but heal for the past month.”
“What about her pain, Doctor?”
McHale turned his one hundred and twenty watt smile on Carole. “I’ll write her out a prescription for something that will help with that. I don’t think she’ll have much true pain but you’ll have to expect her to be very easy to tire, so try to keep the visitors to a minimum. Make sure you make an appointment for her at her own doctor’s office for follow ups. We’ll see how she’s doing tomorrow and then you should be able to take her home.”
“Thank you, Doctor.” Carole reached out and took Cadie’s hand. “See, we can take you home tomorrow, honey. You’re going to be just fine and will be home in your own bed tomorrow. I’ve missed you so much.”
Cadie nodded and then yawned. She didn’t watch the doctor walk out of her room, her mother following him and expressing her gratitude. Cadie rolled on her side, wincing as her IV tube was tugged and the tape pulled at her skin. By the time she finally got comfortable, her mother was back beside her and her father had returned. She had her eyes closed and was pretending to sleep. There was so much she had to think of and listening to her mother coo and fuss over her would just become annoying.
With her eyes closed, suddenly she could see Mattie as he’d been that last day, trying so desperately hard to protect her against those three older and bigger boys. She saw him rush at the one boy who held the knife and then she watched as his blood drained. She didn’t remember much of what happened after that. It was as if, with him gone, nothing else mattered.
A huge hand had a hold of her heart, twisting and ripping at it. The pain was so immense, she thought it would kill her. Tears spilled from under her closed eyeli
ds even as she pretended to sleep. She wanted nothing more than to be left alone to lick her wounds. Her mother’s hand stroked over her hair.
She finally opened her eyes, seeing her father in her tear blurred vision. “The detective said he’d be down here soon, honey. Will you be up to seeing him?”
“Yes, Daddy. I want him to catch those animals.”
“Rest until he gets here, sweetheart.”
Cadie nodded and closed her eyes again. She slept and it seemed seconds and then her father was shaking her gently and calling her name.
“Yeah?” Her tone was gruff and grumpy.
“Detective Hill is here, honey. He wants you to look at some pictures.”
Cadie forced her eyes open and then reached for the button that would raise the head of the bed. She made herself greet the detective and then reached out a trembling hand to shake his.
“Are you sure you want to do this now?”
“Yes,” Cadie said, nodding. “I want those bastards put away so that they can’t hurt anyone else.”
“You are a brave girl, Cadie. I can call you Cadie?”
“Yes. Momma said you have pictures?”
“I have three sets of pictures, Cadie. I’m going to show you one set at a time. You tell me if any of them could be the men who hurt you.”
“The ones who killed Mattie,” she added.
“Of course.” He set a manila folder on the tray table and opened it to pull out a thick yellow sheet of paper. He held it down so she could easily see it. “Take your time.”
Cadie stared at the six pictures, one at a time. “Him,” she said. “It was him. He had the knife. He killed Mattie.”
The detective put the paper back on the tray table and circled the picture she’d selected with a black marker. He added a black asterisk and then pulled out the next sheet of paper. “Just take your time, Cadie.”
This time it took a bit longer for her to pick one of the men. “Him.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, it was him.”
“Okay.” He repeated the process with the black marker though he didn’t add an asterisk on this one. Then he pulled out the third set of six photos. He’d barely gotten it out before she pointed at a picture of a man. His face haunted her and she only now understood why. This was the man who’d forced her to perform oral sex on him, who’d abused her and taunted Mattie.
“H-he was the leader of them all.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.” Cadie reached out and took her mother’s hand, clinging to her.
“You did really good, Cadie. Now you just worry about getting better.” The detective patted Cadie’s hand gently and then packed up his photos. Cadie’s father walked out with him but he came back minutes later.
“They have them in custody, Cadie. One of them was still carrying the switchblade. It had Mattie’s blood still on it.”
“So they won’t need Cadie to testify?” asked Carole.
“I’m not sure. But we won’t worry about that until the time comes, right, Cadie?”
Cadie nodded. “I think I want to sleep now.”
Carole nodded. “We’ll just go and get some dinner, baby.”
A twinge of fear had her hanging on to her mother’s hand for a second longer, then she forced herself to let go. “I’ll be okay.”
Terry bent over and kissed her cheek. “We know you will be baby, but we won’t be far away, okay?”
Cadie nodded, and she watched them walk out of the room. With a groan, she pulled the blankets away from her legs. There were red scars up and down both legs. It looked as if she’d been dragged. There were short socks on her feet. She pushed her feet over the edge of the bed and sat up. A whirl of dizzy sensations had her grabbing hold of the side of the bed.
“Whoa, Cadie. Slow down, sweetie.”
Cadie looked up at the woman who called her name. She was wearing scrubs. “I can do this,” Cadie declared.
“I know you can, honey. But we’d rather you do it with a nurse around so you won’t fall in case you get dizzy. So how about I get rid of all those tubes and then we’ll get you up and let you sit in the chair until your dinner comes.”
Cadie nodded but she didn’t lay back and the nurse didn’t force her to. It was a relief to get the IV taken out and the monitors unhooked.
“That feels better, doesn’t it?”
Cadie agreed.
“Now, we are going to get you over to the chair.” She held her hand up when Cadie made to rise on her own. “No, sweetie, I’m going to put my arm around your waist and help you up and over to the chair. You lean on me.”
Cadie watched as the nurse laid out a blanket on the chair and then came around and wrapped her arm around Cadie’s slender waist. “On three, sweetie.”
When Cadie was seated, the nurse wrapped her in the blanket and then got her another. Cadie was shaking but she didn’t think it was from being cold.
“It’s shock, sweetie. You’ve been in the same position in bed for the past month and your body isn’t used to being in any other. Now that you’re up, your body is going to have to get used to it again. You sit there.” The nurse grabbed the call button from the bed, clipping it to the blanket covering Cadie. “I’m going to change your linens and then soon we’ll get you back into bed.”
Cadie nodded again, leaning her head back against the padded back of the seat. She was tired and didn’t know if she’d be able to stay sitting up long enough for the very competent nurse to finish making the bed. By the time she was done, Cadie’s dinner was there. The nurse helped her back into bed and then got her tray in front of her.
“Doctor McHale has put you on a soft diet, Cadie. We’ll see how this sits and if there are no problems tonight, we’ll try you on something more substantial in the morning.” The nurse indicated the tray and then smiled and picked up the dirty linens and left the room.
Cadie glanced at the tray and then pushed it away. She wasn’t hungry. In fact, she felt rather nauseous. With a sigh, she rolled to her side and pulled the blankets up over her shoulder and closed her eyes.
* * * *
Three days later, Cadie still had no appetite. She spent her days in her room, not wanting to see anyone. The pain of missing Mattie was terrible. The thoughts of his death, of the absolute stupidity of the whole thing, had her sick. She stared at his picture, and fiddled at the skin of her finger where his ring had been for such a short time.
Her father finally put his foot down. “Cadie you have to eat. If you refuse, we’ll have no choice but to put you back in the hospital. You’re hurting yourself with your actions. You don’t see friends; you don’t want to even see us. It can’t go on any further, Cadie. I’m sorry.”
“I want to die.” Cadie started crying and couldn’t stop. “My Mattie’s gone. What reason do I have to live?”
“I know this won’t be easy for you to hear, but you will have other loves.”
“No, I won’t. I don’t want to.” She grabbed a couple of tissues from the box and wiped at her eyes.
“Maybe not now, but you are a beautiful girl. There will be other men in your life.” Terry threw his hands up in the air when Cadie shook her head. “Dammit! That’s it. You either start living again or we are putting you back in the hospital so they can feed you.”
Cadie stared up at him and then over at her mother who stood in the doorway, a tray in her hands. “All right, Daddy.”
“You’ll eat?”
“Yes. I’ll try.”
“You’ll see people, your friends, Mattie’s parents?”
“Mattie’s parents?”
“They’ve been here twice since you came home from the hospital. Mattie’s mom sat with you in the hospital while you were in the coma, Cadie. They always thought
of you as a daughter, even before Mattie thought to ask you to marry him.”
Cadie wiped at the tears and picked up a half of the sandwich that sat on the tray her mother placed in front of her. She took a bite, forcing it down. Then she took the next bite and the next until that half of the sandwich was gone. There was a small bowl of applesauce and she picked that up next. She took a small spoonful and put it in her mouth.
“Okay?” she asked her father.
“Yes, thank you, baby. You just can’t quit living. I know how much easier it would be to just sit and let the world forget about you, but you can’t do that to me and your mother.”
“Mattie’s parents called, Cadie. They want to come and see you. Mattie’s brother is home. He’s taking an honorable discharge to take care of his folks since this happened. He wants to meet you. Can I call Lauren and let her know you’ll see them today?”
Cadie swallowed the applesauce she’d put in her mouth. She’d seen pictures of Mattie’s brother, Jack, in his Marine uniform. Mattie had always talked about how happy Jack was, how much he loved the Marines. She was a bit shocked that Jack was giving all that up to come home to care for his parents, Lauren and Jackson. They had always seemed so independent, so capable and sure of themselves. “I’ll see them.”
Carole picked up a brush, pulling Cadie’s brown curls over her shoulders and brushing them gently. She put a baby blue ribbon through those curls, tying it in a jaunty bow above her daughter’s right ear. It matched the thin sweater she was wearing. “I’ll call Lauren now, Cadie. You finish eating.”
Cadie slowly finished the food on the tray and then took it to the kitchen to wait for Mattie’s parents and brother.
Chapter Three
The doorbell rang, its shrill tone startling Cadie. She sat in her mother’s living room. She’d always preferred the family room, where you didn’t have to keep your feet off the furniture or watch where you sat down your soda. The furniture was black leather, and the end tables hefty wood, not like the delicate oak furniture and glass tables that furnished the living room.