“Did you tell her?” she questions.
“No. I was going to… but ... it’s just too complicated. I was waiting for the right time, but always chickened out. I have a bad feeling that it won’t go the way I want it to. Suppose she gets upset? I don’t want to lose her…” I hesitate raking my hands through my hair. “And then” I continue, “There’s Nathan. I wanted to wait until they broke up…give her a little time to get over him, but then they got back together.” I finish lamely.
“Honey, maybe you should give her some space.” I hear my mom say. “The Friendship that you and Alex have is rare. Think about what you are doing properly before you make any more decisions. Is it really worth sacrificing all these years of friendship for a crush? Are you truly in love with her? Think about it some more, son. I do not want you to make the wrong decision.” She reaches over and touches my cheek. “Now, go and take a shower and come with me. Dinner is ready.”
I stare at her retreating frame, and place my head in my palms. She is completely right… as usual.
Alex
I lay in my bed. I had finished my homework early and decided to get an early night in. I stared at my phone. Except for a few text messages, I had barely seen Kade all week.
I usually texted Kade, but I decided to text Nathan tonight instead. He is my boyfriend, after all. I remind myself.
Me: Nite – sleep tight, I text before plugging in my phone to charge.
There are two teddy bears on my bed. One is old and tattered – a little grey elephant that Kade had given me when we were ten. He had given it to me for Valentine’s Day. He had wrapped it in a red box with a messy bow and I had squealed with delight when I saw it.
I play with its long trunk and smile at the memory. The other one I have on my bed is a much larger brown bear. It was a gift from Nathan three months ago.
I hold both bears in my arms and close my eyes, thinking of Nathan.
One week after we met Nathan walked me to my car after school. It had taken me one weekend and a mere week, but I was already falling for Nathan.
“So you and Kade?” Nathan questioned as we approached my car.
“We’re just friends,” I answered automatically. I had been through this conversation so many times before with every guy that I had ever dated. Most of the time they took one look at Kade and I together and never called back.
“You two seem so close.” He murmured as I shoved my bag into the passenger seat.
“Listen, Nathan.” I began tired of always having to explain myself. “Kade and I have been best friends all of my life. Nothing and no one can or ever will change that. He has many girlfriends. You don’t have to worry about him.”
“I just wanted to make sure … because I really like you Alex.” He reached out and touched my cheek softly. My heart beat sped up as he pulled me into his arms.
“I would love to take you out, as my date tonight.”
I smiled up at him. “I would love to go out with you.”
He leaned down and gave me a soft kiss on my lips. His lips tasted lovely and I leaned into him as the kiss deepened. I didn’t want to let him go.
He kissed my nose before releasing me from his hold. “I will see you tonight.” He called over his shoulders.
Becoming Nathan’s girlfriend happened overnight.
We were inseparable and spent lots of time together. I could barely keep my hands off of him – even when I was at school, we would spend all of our time kissing and hugging.
I had honestly given up on finding a nice guy. I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire school when our relationship became official. And for a while everything in my life seemed perfect until one very cold Friday night.
Kade and I had spent our Friday watching movies like we usually did. I made sure that Nathaniel was okay with this, and he seemed to reluctantly understand our ritual. He made me promise that Saturday nights would be his and I happily complied.
That Friday after we watched our first movie, I got hungry.
Kade laughed when my tummy growled and he turned off the TV and led me to his jeep.
I turned up the music to full blast and sang loudly, always comfortable and happy with Kade. The night was a bit nippy and I was shivering as we headed from the restaurant back to his car, our hands filled with take out.
“Alex!” I turned quickly to see Kayla and Ryan approaching us.
“Hey!” I called giving her a hug. We leaned against the car and ended up talking for a couple minutes.
I shivered slightly but felt much better when Kade pulled me in front of him, covering my body with his from behind.
We were just about to leave when I saw a vehicle pulling up beside Kade’s and out walked Nathan with a couple of guys from our school. I heard them murmuring and pointing at me and Kade. I smiled when I saw him, not realizing that he was angry until I saw his eyes rake over Kade’s hands on my waist.
It was the first time that I had ever seen Nathan so angry. I didn’t move as he walked up to us.
“What’s going on?” he questioned.
“Nothing man,” I heard Ryan say, trying to calm the situation. “We were just grabbing some food.”
“Yeah Right,” one of Nathan’s friends muttered though he kept his distance from our circle.
Nathan continued staring at Kade’s hands around my waist and I reluctantly removed myself from his safety immediately missing his warmth.
“Come on, Alex” I heard him say angrily.
Was I supposed to feel guilty? I didn’t, and I didn’t like his tone.
“C’mon!” he almost shouted.
“You need to calm down,” I said as calmly as I could muster, even though I felt anger roiling inside me. Who did he think he was talking to? I had a short temper.
I felt Kade stand up behind me. Shit. This wasn’t going to be good.
“Nathan,” I heard Kade’s voice strain. He was angry. “You need to calm down. You’re not taking her anywhere with that attitude.”
“Who the hell was talking to you?” Nathan shouted.
Kade walked straight up to Nathan, looming over him. Ryan stepped up behind Kade. I saw Laura’s eyes widen. Nathan’s friends were now nowhere to be seen. They knew better than to pick a fight with Kade.
I heard Ryan mumbling to Kade, telling him that he needed to calm down. I walked in between them, knowing that I had to stop this before it got out of hand.
“I’ll call you later,” I whispered to Kade hating the angry look in his eyes. I grabbed Nathan’s hand and pulled him towards his truck. His fists were clenched tightly.
“Take me home.” I told him icily as I strapped myself in.
He looked at me angrily before putting his car in drive and driving the short distance to my house.
“Do not ever talk to me like that. I am nobody’s property.” I said before I opened his truck’s door and walked inside my house.
He tried calling me all night but I didn’t answer. He came to my house the next day apologizing profusely. He told me that he had never been jealous in his life, but seeing me in Kade’s arms had made him angry.
I forgave him, but it was hard to ever get Kade and Nathan in the same room after that night.
I fell asleep with a slight frown on my face. When I woke up, I was gripping my little elephant and the Brown Teddy Bear was at my feet.
I slowly got ready for school. I was feeling much better now that everything seemed to be getting back to normal. Nathan and I were spending a lot of time together, and we were putting lots of effort into having a good relationship. I felt a little bit guilty that I hadn’t spoken to Kade much but I was trying my best to focus on mine and Nathan’s relationship. Kade seemed to be fine with this. Every time I saw him he was with a different girl.
I tried to reign in my jealousy whenever I saw him especially when Evelyn sat in between his legs during lunch. He had barely even been to our table, stopping only to say hello before wandering around with random girls.
<
br /> Not dealing with the feelings that I had developed for Kade was probably a bad idea, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to deal with it just yet.
Where Kade was mysterious and quiet, Nathaniel wore his feelings on his sleeves. He was extremely attentive and sweet, always telling me how nice I looked and always pulling me into his arms for kisses. He picked me up almost every morning from home to take me to school.
I hear Nathan blowing his horn outside. I run down the stairs yelling goodbye to my mom and climb into his large blue pickup.
“Morning!” I exclaim giving him a kiss on his cheek.
“Morning,” he replies turning to me and giving me a soft kiss on my lips. “I was thinking,” he began as he drove slowly to school “that we should go out tonight. Let’s do something different.”
“Tonight?” I answer biting my lips. “But tonight is Friday…” I trail off. He knows that it is movie night.
“Ok…” he responds sounding disheartened. I feel guilty immediately.
Shit.
I come up with an idea, pick up my phone and send Kade a text.
Me: Morning Pumkin… how do you feel about doubling tonight with me and Nathan? We can go catch a movie? Or have dinner?”
I wait a few seconds, hoping he doesn’t get too upset at Nathan’s intrusion.
My phone vibrates a few seconds later.
Kade: Sounds good.
“Do you mind doubling?” I ask Nathan happily. “Kade is ok with it.”
His eyes brighten. “I’ll be happy as long as I am with you.”
Around 6:00 that evening I head downstairs. I tried to look extra good tonight. When I wasn’t too sure what to wear, I sent Kade a quick text. It was a bad habit, but I valued his opinion.
Me: No idea what to wear : / should I wear my little red dress? Or jeans with a see through chiffon top?
Kade: See through huh? I like see through things on you.
I chuckle before replying.
Me: That’s what u tell all the girls ; ) So go with the top?
Kade: No, wear the red dress.
And so I chose a pretty, tight red mini dress, and let my hair fall straight down my back. I am excited, mostly because I barely saw Kade all week, and was really looking forward to seeing him even if I had to share the time with our dates.
I hear Nathan’s horn and giddily head to his truck. He is always on time. If it were Kade I would have been waiting for a half an hour minimum. I would be fuming by the time he arrived but as soon as he walked through my door saying sorry he was late, I would melt.
Nathan chose a nice restaurant. It had large Mahogany doors and as he led me inside I could see large balls of light hanging from the ceiling. Crimson walls give the restaurant a romantic aura. Walking towards our table, it is impossible to miss Kade’s massive frame. It is equally impossible to miss Evelyn. She looks stunning tonight. She is wearing a navy blue maxi dress that matches her eyes, and her black hair hangs in waves down her back.
“Hey guys,” Nathan greets them leaning down to give Evelyn a kiss on her cheek. Kade stood up, and I almost choked. He looks gorgeous. I realize in that moment that it was stupid of me to have tried to hide or forget the feelings that I had developed for the past few weeks. I had made a horrible mistake. I should have talked to him about it.
“Hi,” I whisper. As he pulls me into his arms, I feel like a woman who has been drowning all week and is finally coming up for air. I hold on to him a few seconds too long, sniffing the red shirt that he wore. I smile when I realize that he picked that shirt so that we would match. Something that we did often as a joke. He finally pulls away and stares at me with slightly confused eyes. I tiptoe and give him a quick kiss on his cheek before Nathan thought anything funny.
I am going to go to hell for this. Catching Kade’s eyes as Nathan wraps his arms around me, I wonder if hell is really all that bad. I bite my lip.
Chapter 8
Kade
If Alex continues looking at me like that biting her lip, I will die. I imagine pulling her on the table and having my bad, bad way with her. I feel Evelyn’s hands rubbing up and down my thighs and swallow hard. I signal for the waiter and order some food, wanting to get out of this night and this double date as soon as possible.
I had agreed to go on this date thinking that maybe after barely seeing Alex all week, some of my feelings would have dissipated. I was trying to take my mother’s advice to take it slow, to think this thing through, before I singlehandedly messed up the best friendship of my life. I also realized that I still had a good amount of time to figure everything out. Alex and I were going to college together. We would be roommates. I had lots of time to think. And I needed to give Alex her space to figure herself out. I began spending more time with Ev, she really was a beautiful girl. She was smart, sweet and we had genuine chemistry.
“So,” I hear Nathan say, ever the nice guy. “How have you guys been?”
“Great!” Evelyn answers for the both of us. I steal a glance at Alex. She is still biting her lips. Shit. I can’t do this.
“I can’t believe how quickly school is ending.” Evelyn continues.
“I know,” Nathan replies. “I feel like the year just started and all of a sudden there’s only like three weeks left and then it will be graduation and prom…”
I notice him running his hand up and down Alex’s arms. If he wants to leave this dinner with both hands, he had better stop doing that. As if hearing my angry thoughts I see Alex shifting slightly away from him and his hand falls away from her shoulders.
I feel Evelyn’s hand travelling behind my neck and I see Alex glaring at her fingers. Our eyes clash again and held before she quickly glances away.
“Where are you planning to go after graduation?” Evelyn asks Nathaniel.
“I actually got accepted to St. June’s …” he trails off. My ears perk up. St. June’s? That’s where me and Alex are going.
I see Alex turning to Nathan.
“Really?” she questions. “You didn’t tell me …”
“Yeah,” he responds. His head bent slightly. “I wanted to surprise you.”
We were interrupted when the waiter brought our orders to the table.
I was hoping the conversation would get dropped, but Nathan piped up again as soon as the waiter left our table.
“I was actually thinking…That maybe we could room together.” He says softly to Alex. I almost choke on my steak.
What?!
“What?!” Alex exclaims, her brown eyes widening.
She shakes her head as she speaks.
“Nathan, Kade and I are rooming together. You know that.” Nathan looks visibly upset but doesn’t say a word.
Evelyn shifts uncomfortably beside me. I hear her say, “I’m gonna need a stiff drink after this.”
“We’ll talk about this later.” Alex whispers to Nathaniel. Nathaniel looks up at me. I hold his gaze unflinchingly and soon he looks away. Needless to say the rest of the meal went by without much talking. Evelyn tries her best to fill the awkward lengthy silences but soon Nathaniel excuses himself from the table. Alex quickly follows.
When they are gone for ten minutes and there is no sign of their return, I decide to go and check on her, to make sure that Nathaniel is behaving himself.
I walk through the large restaurant doors but don’t see them at the entrance, so I round the corner and head to the parking lot where I see them arguing in front of his truck. I start to turn away not wanting to get in the middle of that but my curiosity gets the better of me when I hear Nathan saying my name and I hide in the shadows and listen.
“Alexandria, listen,” Nathaniel is saying loudly. “How do you expect me to be your boyfriend and at the same time watch you living with some guy?”
“He is not just some guy, Nathaniel. I have known him literally since the day I was born. We have always planned to go to college together – to be roommates. This has nothing to do with you!” Alex exclaims.
; “Nothing to do with me?!” Nathan rakes his fingers through his hair. “It does have something to do with me. You are supposed to be my girlfriend, Alex! Not His! I do not trust him. Can’t you see the way he looks at you?”
“He does not look at me! What are you talking about?!” Alexandria’s eyes are practically sizzling.
“He does!” Nathan shouts. “Every time I look at him, he is staring at you. I am a guy. I know these things. He has barely taken his eyes off of you all night, even though Evelyn is right beside him. I know that I told you that I would be more understanding, and I have really been trying, but how much of this do you expect me to take?” he finishes solemnly.
Alex looks up at him sadly. “Nathan,” she says calmly. “Kade and I are best friends. There will never ever be anything between us other than friendship. I could never see him as anything more than a friend.” My heart shatters. If I wasn’t 17, I swear I would think that I was having a heart attack.
I turn and walk away when I see her reach up to touch his cheek. I couldn’t bear to hear anymore of this conversation. Rejection swarms all over me as I drop some cash on the table and lead Evelyn through the restaurant’s door.
“Where are we going?” Evelyn questions as she jumps into my jeep.
“Let’s go to my place.” I grumble.
“Good. All this negative energy is messing up my night.” She replies.
We drive to my place with my music turned up. Evelyn never seems to mind my silence. When we get back to my place I crawl into my bed, taking Evelyn with me.
She kisses my neck softly and I pull her on top of me massaging her hips and grounding them into mine.
Make me forget. I beg her silently with my eyes. And she does just that. I hear my phone vibrating on my bedside table but I ignore it.
She slowly unbuttons my shirt and plants soft kisses all the way down to my navel and back up again biting and nipping at my chest.
She unbuckles my pants and I lift her dress up over her shoulders. She likes that I seem to want her urgently. She sits on top of me completely naked and reaches into my jeans. That’s when I hear my bedroom door open and Alex stands with her beautiful red lips wide open in the shape of a perfect O.
Kade Loves Alex Page 4