******
Present time
2007
“We need to drop Lára and Sóley off before we head home,” Emilia says while making a right turn. We are now driving into Reykjavík and my eyeballs are just eating up the visual candy of this new city. I haven’t traveled out of the US very much in my lifetime, and I’m so glad that I’m finally somewhere else on my own terms.
Reykjavík is quite a bit different than Hafnarfjörður. It is a bit edgier, but I think it’s equally as beautiful. The ocean is nearby, along with many modern type Scandinavian houses. Lots of the roofs are different colors. I really love this. My eyes don’t have a chance to become bored because nothing is redundant. There are more apartments and, much to my surprise, plenty of trees and grass. I guess from my first impressions from Keflavík, and from stereotypes I always hear about Iceland, that I had assumed it would be a bit dreary. Summer has been kind here though, and there is no snow anywhere.
“You’re the boss; I’m just along for the ride.” I grin because I really don’t care what we do. I literally have zero preference. I like to think that I’m a really easy-going and laid-back person. Eventually, we finish dropping off the girls and head to Emilia’s place. She’s invited me to stay with her for my entire visit, and she’s obviously the reason I came here to begin with, so it makes perfect sense.
She lives in a condo/apartment style housing that isn’t much like what I’m used to seeing back at home. She lives with her boyfriend, Valur, and their place is gorgeous…not to mention her boyfriend.
My first impression of Valur is that he must be Swedish, but he’s Icelandic. He’s got friendly, good-natured, exceedingly blue eyes that crinkle in the outer corner when he smiles. To go with it is chin length blonde hair and bronzed skin that help his eyes really pop. He’s definitely a handsome guy. He’s wearing a navy blue ball cap, body-hugging basic white shirt, and a dark blue pair of carpenter pants.
It’s also very obvious that he works out. I soon learn that even though he’s into football (the European version) and skateboarding, he is a plumber for a living. His father, brother, and he own a company together. He seems to be doing really well, if looking around his awesome apartment says anything. He definitely doesn’t fit into the stereotypical image of what a plumber looks like in my mind.
They have set me up in the spare bedroom upstairs. Valur explains to me that when he bought this apartment, it was only one floor with a really high ceiling, and he built the loft and bedroom upstairs with his own hands. Of course, I’m thoroughly impressed. He sounds like a keeper.
I’m a bit anxious looking into my room again since it’s probably close to 2am now and plenty of light is coming into the room through the skylight in the very center of the ceiling. Hopefully, all my training from working late night shifts for over a year will come in handy right about now. After brushing my teeth, I get ready for bed.
“Hey, you guys. Thanks so much for letting me come here and stay with you. You have no idea how much it means to me to be able to get away from Tommy and just…well, just everything.” I give both of them big hugs, and Emilia gives me a knowing look as she heads into the bathroom. She knows all about Tommy.
“Night, Brooke,” Valur says from the living room couch. He seems like such a genuine, nice guy.
“Sleep well. I hope the sun won’t keep you awake.” Emilia gargles her words through a mouthful of toothpaste. With a little wave, I walk up the stairs and crawl into bed. It doesn’t take long until I’m asleep.
******
I wake up to gorgeous sunshine on my face and Emilia calling my name. It takes me a moment to realize she’s still talking. I try hard to zone in on what she’s saying.
“I want you to come to work with me today and see what’s what. Then, maybe you can take a walk downtown or something. We can make you lunch and everything.” I can hear her voice echoing up from the bottom of the stairs.
“Sounds good to me. How much time do we have until we need to leave?”
“Fifteen minutes...I’m running behind and I thought you needed the sleep.” Her voice gets quieter as she wanders around the apartment getting ready. I scramble out of bed and quickly put on a pair of jeans, a deep V-neck white shirt, and a zippered hoodie.
I head down the stairs and into the bathroom to brush my teeth and my hair, feeling a bit like a zombie. I don’t do quick wakeups very well. They give me a boost of adrenaline and make me jittery and nauseous. Weird, right?
After quickly pulling my dark brown hair back into a ponytail and applying some mascara and eyeliner around my blue eyes, I meet Emilia by the front door. We slip our shoes on and head out to the car. After what could have been 15 minutes or so of driving (I was too busy oohing and ahhing at the scenery), we park on a small side street somewhere in downtown Reykjavík.
I haven’t been to this part of the city yet, and it’s really neat. The street we are on is lined with tall white buildings almost the whole way, and it looks like flats that people live in. One home is on each level of the three story buildings. On a wall nearest us, there is really artsy graffiti of an imaginary creature in all the colors of the rainbow. It’s beautiful.
Emilia guides me down a few blocks until we are on a main street with lots of shops and cafés. Following her into the door of one restaurant, she waves to Sóley who is already behind the counter. “This is where Lára, Sóley, and I work. It’s pretty great. Our schedules are almost always together, and since I’m the shift manager, I can keep it that way. We’re a good team, so it’s in the business’s best interest.” Emilia laughs and winks at me.
Sóley comes out from behind the counter as Emilia walks behind her to grab her black apron. It’s a really quaint little restaurant with neat artwork on the wall and a very cozy feel.
“I am only working a half day today, so I thought we could go for dinner together while we wait for Emilia to close shop,” Sóley tells me while placing dirty plates and coffee cups onto a tray. It all sounds good to me, and I tell her as much.
Sóley is adorable. She has very fine and curly dark-blonde hair. It’s pretty wild even though it seems almost weightless, if that means anything. She’s wearing a fancy grey tank top, with tricky crisscross straps and a loose, elegant waist. She’s got a great smile, dimples, and her eyes always seem to have a little twinkle in them.
Over the years, I’ve learned that she has been studying fashion at the university, and is planning on moving to Italy some day in the future to better her education.
Sóley is definitely someone I could see myself being great friends with, if I lived here. I feel comfortable around her, and I really enjoy her company.
******
My day has been fun and eventful. I’ve eaten a tasty bruschetta (I’ve never had bruschetta before!) in their little café. We end up heading down a street called Laugavegur when Sóley was finished working. I’m not so certain that it’s a real word, but I try my best to do it justice anyways. “Lay-a-vegg-ur,” or some strange mouthful. It’s apparently the street downtown and it is lined with tons of small tourist shops, designer clothing stores, cafés, fancy restaurants, and a ton of people.
This city is really beautiful. The streets are kind of like gray cobblestones in some places, and a lot of the buildings are very old, or even the same ones that were originally built here. There are tall, green light posts topped with bright yellow fake tulips to keep it festive in the summer, I think. It certainly feels festive for me as a tourist.
Sóley tells me it’s normal to have so many tourists horde to Iceland during this season because the best weather of the year is in summer. We’ve finished eating some really delicious burgers at a place called Hresso. They really know how to make a burger in this country (even though it cost me $16 due to the conversion rate, so it better be good). A term they like to use here is “sweaty burger” which implies that it is pretty much dripping all over the place with hamburger sauce. They also put red bell pepper (or they call it paprik
a) and cucumbers instead of pickles. It tasted so fresh like that; I think I’ll be adding cucumbers to all of my future burgers. Yummy.
******
Sóley and I are heading back to Vör, where Emilia and Lára are preparing to finish their shift for the evening. It’s around 7pm and we’ve just spent our time getting to know each other a bit better. We plan to head to the bar next door to meet up with Valur and apparently Ari. My stomach is beginning to roll a bit after consuming way too much burger and fries along with anxiety about meeting Ari for the first time. I know I can pull this off, but Lára is going to be here too and I’m not really sure exactly how I’m supposed to behave or interact with him when she’s around.
Everyone knows about the “almost” relationship Ari and I have had, and I wonder if they’re at all anxious about it, too. Is Lára worried? Is she insecure and wondering if I might somehow steal him away from her? Can I even do that? Would he leave her for me? Do I want him to? It’s impossible to know the answer to those questions now. I will just have to wait and see. Anything right now is purely speculation.
Emilia, Lára, Sóley and I head next door and order our beers at the bar. There aren’t a lot of people here at the moment, and the girls tell me it’s too early for the Icelandic nightlife to come out. I’m told that it only gets busy around midnight. They lead me through a door to an outside patio for customers who smoke and just don’t want to sit inside. We all grab a chair and surround one of the many empty tables.
Valur and Ari aren’t here yet, and I chug quite a bit of my beer in hopes of calming my nerves. I try my best to focus on calming down.
I can barely even sit still in my chair. I’m drumming my fingers on my thighs and my feet are tapping nervously. I’m constantly checking the door that leads back inside the bar for the guys. I’m desperately hoping that my nervousness isn’t something the girls can notice. I’m really trying as hard as possible to be smooth and cool. Chill the fuck out, Brooke! Get it together!
The hairs on the back of my neck start to rise and I get a bit of a tingly sensation through my body. Aiming to be as nonchalant as possible, I sit up a little straighter in my seat and try to sneak a glance at the door to see if it is opening. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I try not to appear too eager. Truth be told, my palms are really sweaty and my pulse is going apeshit. This is a very important moment in my life and I’m really scared it’s not going to go anything like I want it to. I suddenly hear the door to the patio open and know that this is it.
Chapter 2
Ari walks out on the patio wearing a red beanie that is covering his hair that goes down to mid neck. His dark denim jeans look comfortable but not too tight and his shirt has a picture of a whale fin with some crude dude statement about killing them all. He is approximately 6 foot 2 (187 cm, if you think like that), with golden-tanned skin from working in the sunny outdoors.
He has slightly wavy golden brown hair lightened by the sun. Large, round clear blue eyes accompany a full lower lip. The most adorable V-shaped creases next to his mouth from smiling so much. His strong cheekbones give away his Scandinavian roots, and he reminds me of a Viking with his hair like this. He used to always wear it short.
He’s so handsome. I can hardly keep my eyes off of him, but I swear I’m trying my hardest. I feel like one of those bugs that are drawn to the light that kills them. He saunters over to our table with a lazy smirk across his mouth and a twinkle in his blue eyes. He’s not looking at me though. He’s looking at everyone else.
He places his beer onto our table, grabs a chair from the table beside us, and drags it over next to Lára. I’m not really sure he’s even seen me yet. Although, I imagine that it’s pretty difficult not to notice me, given the circumstances.
“Ari, I’d like you to officially meet Brooke, face to face,” Emilia introduces us. I watch as his eyes swing over to me without making direct eye contact, and the grin on his face falters for just a moment before he leans over the table to shake my hand.
“It’s so great to finally meet you in person, Brooke,” he sounds like he means it. That’s a good thing.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me with the handshake,” I joke. I stand up to grab him in a hug and pat his back noisily to assure everyone around me (and myself) that it’s just a friendly thing. It’s totally not. I’m touching him and my brain is short-circuiting with his proximity, his warmth, and, oh god, his scent.
In all these years I’ve never been able to smell him. I haven’t given it thought until this moment. Cologne and a clean smelling man are a huge turn on for me. If I had known in advance that Ari was going to smell so goddamn delicious, I might have rethought this whole hug crap.
This embrace is terribly awkward and I immediately regret instigating it. My head is feeling a little dizzy just from his proximity, but when his eyes swoop down and connect with mine for a second that feels like eternity, warmth fills my entire body. All of this feels so very contradictory.
We quickly retreat from each other and resume sitting in our chairs. Most of us jump into normal conversation. Well, I try for normal. I’m not really feeling very conversational, so I keep my contribution to really short sentences. After a while, I realize that Ari hasn’t really been saying much either.
Besides a quick greeting to Valur after he finally arrives too, Ari is mostly silent. He has followed my lead and kept his talking to the basics. There is a slight smile on his face, but I can just feel that something is off somehow. He’s always been a chatterbox. Plus, he won’t look at me or in the direction of my side of the table.
Part of me wants to stand on top of the table and cause a huge scene, waving my arms and yelling at him to notice me. Sure, that sounds like something a 5 year old might do. Like I said, just part of me wants to do it.
Who knows? Maybe I’m completely mistaken, since I’m too busy trying to discreetly look at him out of the corner of my eye without anyone noticing. It could seem as if I don’t want to look at him, either. I can’t even concentrate on what the conversation around me is about. I’m so busy trying to pretend like I don’t care. It’s exhausting, and this sucks.
He’s sitting right across from me, and everything that I ever dreamed would come to pass with this guy is never going to happen. All these years of whatever it was between us that we had shared together is for naught. It all comes down to us pretending we don’t even know or like each other. What a waste.
My beer is gone and I’m realizing that I’m really tired. All of this is too much for me, so I give Emilia a look that conveys my desire to leave. She whispers into Valur’s ear, probably to tell him it was time to get going. Then she stands up and smiles at everyone at the table.
“I think we’re going to head home. I’m sure Brooke has some jet lag. Are you ready to go?” The expression on her face makes it clear that she understands how uncomfortable this is for me.
“Yeah, I’m ready.” I stand up and slide my jacket on, grab my phone, and place it into my jacket pocket. I wave at Sóley, Lára, and Ari. The girls wave back while Ari grins a bit and nods at me. We walk back into the bar, out the front, and head home.
******
Early 2004
Brooke is in California.
I hear the doorbell ring and head out of my bedroom to answer the door. My dad beats me to it, so I head towards the kitchen instead to find something to munch on.
“Wow, someone had flowers delivered to them.” He walks into the kitchen holding a rose pink glass vase full of flowers in pink, magenta, red, and white, and sets them on the counter.
“Did you get these for Mom?” I sniff at them. They are really beautiful.
“No, they’re for you.” My dad pulls a little card from the bouquet and hands it to me.
My mom walks into the kitchen and sees the flowers.
“Are those from your stalker?” She could be teasing me, except for the fact that I actually do have a pretty harmless stalker named Davey, and they could be from him. Thankfully,
when I open the card, I see that they’re not.
Every beautiful girl deserves to be given flowers on Valentine’s Day,
Will you be my Valentine?
Ari
I’ve never been given flowers before. Ari knows this. Valentine’s Day isn’t celebrated in Iceland, and he had to find a way to get these delivered to me by a company here in San Diego. That takes a lot of dedication. It’s a few days before Valentine’s Day, but who cares! This is literally the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. My eyes are burning with unshed tears, my throat tightening to keep them from flowing, and I sniffle a bit.
“They’re from Ari,” I say in a small voice, a bit overwhelmed with feelings. My parents have heard of Ari, and they know how often he and I talk. They don’t mind, because what real harm can come from talking to a guy who lives in another country? Besides, I’m an adult, and they can mind their own damn business. Just kidding; love you guys.
My mind is going crazy at the implications of this gesture. The effort he had to put into it and the thoughtfulness of doing something so romantic is astounding. Surely this has to mean that he feels more strongly for me than just flirty friends, right? Have we crossed into a higher relationship without realizing it?
We are really close. I tell him all of my secrets. I trust him. I can count on him to talk with me multiple times a week and I kind of plan my life around those times. Why the hell do I have to be so far away from him? Why does it feel like the best thing that could ever happen to me isn’t within my reach? I’m never going to forget this. I think I kind of love him.
******
Present time
2007
Across the Ocean Page 3