If You Love Me

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by Anna Kristell


  They engaged in small talk, catching up on the happenings around town until the band started to play. When a slow song began, Ross looked over at Ashley. “Dance with me, babe?”

  Ashley shrugged. “I guess one dance won’t hurt anything.” She wanted to know where he’d been since he’d walked out on her. A dance would give her a chance to find out without Amy, or anyone else, listening to the conversation.

  As they walked onto the dance floor and he took her in his arms. “How’ve you been?”

  “I’ve been fine, Ross. How about you? Where’ve you been hiding all this time?”

  He pulled her closer. “I haven’t been hiding anywhere, babe. I’ve been in Florida, surfing and soaking up the sun, running a surf shop on the beach. My kind of life, you know. The old nine-to-five just ain’t my thing.”

  “How well I know,” she replied.

  “I guess you’re still sitting at a computer every day, crunching numbers? I don’t know how you do it.”

  “I enjoy my work. I always have.”

  “I hear rumblings about trouble in paradise, babe. I know you didn’t waste any time finding a guy to settle down with after I left. Has to make me wonder if it was me you wanted back then or just any guy to marry.”

  “I wanted you back then, Ross. But when you made your feelings quite clear that you didn’t want a life with me, I moved on. I met a wonderful man and we got married because we both wanted to.”

  “Ah, but I guess you found out I was right about the whole marriage thing after all, huh? I mean…I heard you and Mr. Wonderful split. The whole happily-ever-after thing isn’t what it’s cracked up to be, is it?”

  “Contrary to any rumors you may have heard, my husband and I have not split. We had some issues but it’s all going to work out.”

  “Ever the optimist, aren’t you? I think you should just shuck the whole crazy idea of staying married, leave the boring desk job, and come to Florida with me. We could have the life, babe, living on the beach, doing what we want when we want. You could help me run the surf shop.”

  “Maybe that’s not what I want, Ross. You always seem to forget about what I want. It’s always been about what you want.”

  He leaned his face close to hers and as the song ended, he kissed her. “Tell me that didn’t spark something.”

  She stood in the middle of the dance floor and glared at him. “Don’t you ever do that again, Ross Canter. I’m a married woman. I don’t go around kissing random guys on the dance floor.”

  “I don’t think you’re as married as you say you are and I don’t think I’m exactly a random guy.”

  She walked off in a huff. When she got to the table, she picked up her purse. “Take me home, now, or I’m calling a cab.”

  “Okay, okay, don’t get your panties in a wad. I’ll take you. ” Amy got up and walked out with an angry Ashley.

  Ross chuckled. “Bye, girls, I’ll be seeing you around.”

  “Don’t count on it,” Ashley hissed in reply.

  “What the hell happened in there?” Amy asked when they got to the car.

  “That…that jerk…heard that Adam and I split and he made a move on me.”

  “He made a move on you? Are you kidding me?”

  “No, I’m not kidding. He asked me to go to Florida with him and be a beach bum. And he had the audacity to kiss me on the dance floor. What an ass.”

  “He’s still interested after all this time? He’s having regrets for leaving you?”

  “He thinks he’s having the last laugh about the whole marriage issue. He actually thought I’d admit I made a mistake and go back to being his lover, no strings attached.”

  “Oh, Ashley, I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay. I’m so over him it’s not funny. I know who I want and it’s damn sure not Ross Canter.”

  “You need to call Adam.”

  “I…want to…I just can’t,” Ashley replied tearfully.

  “Do you want me to come in with you?” Amy asked when they arrived at Ashley’s house.

  “No, I just need to be alone. I may try and call Adam…I don’t know.”

  “Call him, Ashley. You need to make things right with him before Ross causes problems.”

  “I know. I just don’t know why Ross had to come back to town.

  “Call if you need to talk.”

  “Thanks, Amy.”

  Ashley unlocked her front door and went inside. The house was quiet and empty as it had been for the past week. She sighed as she kicked off her shoes and walked toward the bedroom. After she’d undressed and settled under the blankets, she looked at Adam’s pillow. The bed seemed huge without him in it. She picked up her cell and dialed his number. It immediately went to voicemail.

  “Adam, it’s Ashley. Please call me. We…need to talk,” she said as she left a message for him.

  Staying awake and watching a movie, Ashley waited hopefully for him to return her call. She finally gave up shortly after midnight. She turned off the television set and turned out the light on the table next to her bed. Rolling over, she allowed the tears to flow once more. Oh, Adam, I need you so much.

  Chapter Five

  Adam walked into the club with Dillon and looked around as his eyes adjusted to the light. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this, little bro,” he said as they grabbed a table and ordered a couple of beers.

  “It beats sitting at home listening to you moan and bitch about your wife,” Dillon replied sarcastically. “Really, man, if you miss her that much, why don’t you just call her?”

  “I told her I’d give her some space. I can’t call begging her to take me back. She has to make a choice, Dillon. I told you that.”

  “What makes you so doggone sure there’s a choice to make?”

  “Since when are you on her side?” Adam asked as he took a swig of his beer.

  “Since I saw the two of you together, making it work, that’s when. What the hell happened to you guys?”

  “I don’t know, I really don’t know. Things were great until a few months ago. She started bitching about the stupidest things. We’d argue and fight but we always had fun making up. I guess I was partly to blame. I was in a funk, things were crazy at work, and I took it out on her. Then there was the baby thing. We talked about having a baby but when things got bad, I got the feeling she really didn’t want to have a kid with me. That’s when I began to think she never really got over her ex, the one who ran out on her.”

  “Do you really believe that? Because the Ashley I’ve gotten to know was head over heels in love with you or so it seemed.”

  “I had hoped she was, but now I just don’t know.” Adam took another drink of his beer and looked toward the dance floor. He froze as his worst nightmare became a glaring reality.

  “What’s wrong with you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Dillon said, following his brother’s gaze.

  “Well, I’ll be a son-of-a-bitch, I was right all along. Didn’t take her long to find the asshole and get him back to town.”

  “They look pretty cozy, I’ll have to admit. I’m so sorry, bro. I just didn’t believe Ashley could do this to you. Not the Ashley I know.”

  “I guess she had us both fooled. Oh…my God, get me the hell out of here before I do something I’ll regret.”

  Dillon looked at the couple on the dance floor again and saw the man lean down to kiss the woman. He stood up and said, “Come on, Adam. I don’t feel like going to jail tonight. Let’s go home.”

  Adam stumbled to the parking lot. When he reached the car, he leaned his head down. “I’m going to be sick.”

  “I’m sorry, bro, I had no idea they would be here tonight. Are you okay to get in the truck and go home now?”

  “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

  Dillon drove his brother back to his place hurriedly. When they were inside, he sat Adam down on the couch.

  “Damn it, Dillon. I’ve lost her to that no good bastard.”

  “I t
hought Ashley was smarter than that. I really did. I know I gave you guys a hard time at first, but I had really grown to like having her in the family. What are you going to do? Are you going to talk to her?”

  “No, it’s too late for that. I can’t bear to hear her tell me it’s over. I’ll see a lawyer Monday and start the paperwork. I said I wouldn’t stand in her way and that’s a promise I’ll keep.”

  “Adam, fight for your wife, man. You can’t give up like this,” Dillon urged.

  “I gave her the freedom to find him. I’d hoped she wouldn’t take me up on it, but I saw with my own eyes tonight, that’s what she wants. I have to let her go. It’s killing me, but I’ll survive.” Somehow.

  “Adam, you’re making the biggest mistake of your life if you don’t tell her how you feel. You don’t know but what she might choose you.”

  “Dillon, wake up and smell the coffee. My wife was on the dance floor kissing another man tonight. Does that sound like she wants to work it out with me?”

  “If she was my woman, I’d damn sure tell her what I thought about that little scenario.”

  “But she’s not your woman. Apparently, she isn’t mine anymore, either.” Adam stood up. “I’m going to bed.”

  “If you need to talk, you know where I am.”

  “Goodnight.”

  Adam went to his room. As he took his phone out of his pocket, he noticed he had a voicemail. He listened to Ashley’s message and sighed. “Well, baby, I’m going to make it easy on you. You don’t have to tell me…”

  He spent the weekend wallowing in self-pity. On Monday morning he called an attorney to make an appointment and had the papers drawn up to end his marriage. Adam told the lawyer to give her anything she wanted. I’m doing this for you, baby. I love you and I only want you to be happy.

  He knew the papers would be delivered to her office the following day. Resigning himself to the fact his marriage was over, he went to work and attempted to start to move on with his life.

  Dillon kept quiet when he told him what he’d done, but Adam knew he didn’t agree.

  “Dillon, don’t say anything. I know you say you’d handle things differently but until it happens to you, you really don’t know what you’d do. You’ve never been in love. When you love someone the way I love Ash, you do whatever you can to make them happy, even if it means giving them the freedom to move on with someone else.”

  “I don’t agree but it’s your life. I’m going to order a pizza.” Dillon walked away, leaving his older brother staring at the wall.

  ****

  The next afternoon, Ashley was sitting at her desk when a messenger arrived in the reception area.

  “Ashley, there’s a delivery for you. Can you come up front?” the receptionist asked.

  “Okay, I’ll be right there.” Ashley hung up the phone and walked to the reception area where a young man held a manila envelope.

  “Good day, Mrs. Brant, you’ve been served.”

  “What…did you say?” she stammered.

  The messenger walked out of the building, leaving a stunned Ashley in his wake. “What do you suppose he meant by that?”

  “You’d better open the envelope and find out,” the receptionist offered.

  Ashley opened the envelope, took out the papers, and began to read. “Oh, no, Adam. What are you doing?”

  “Bad news?”

  Ashley’s face was pasty white and her hands shaking as she walked to her office without answering.

  She sat at her desk and began to cry when a few minutes later there was a knock on the door and her boss, Braydon, poked his head in.

  “May I come in?”

  “Yes.”

  “What’s going on? Carrie said you got served with some papers and ran in here looking as if you’d seen a ghost.”

  “Adam has filed for divorce.”

  “Adam? You? Divorce? Is this some sort of joke?”

  “I’m afraid not. He moved out a few weeks ago. We’ve…been…we haven’t been getting along but I wasn’t prepared for this. We haven’t talked since he left.”

  “I can’t believe he’d serve you with papers without at least talking to you about it first. That just doesn’t sound like Adam. I’ve gotten to know him pretty well since you came to work for me.”

  “I can’t believe it, either. I tried to call him Friday night but he never returned my call.”

  “Ashley, you need to talk to him. Take the rest of the day off. Hell, take tomorrow off, too. If Marci did this to me, I know I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on work.”

  “That’s very kind of you, Braydon.”

  “Hey, you need to straighten this out. Family comes first. You know that’s the rule of thumb around here. Your job will still be here.”

  “I’m going to take you up on that. I need to talk to my husband. This has gone way too far.”

  “Good luck, Ashley.”

  “Thanks. I have the feeling I’m going to need it.”

  Ashley grabbed her purse, coat, and the envelope as she headed out the door. She told Carrie goodbye on her way out and rushed to her car. Not knowing what to do first, she drove to Dillon’s apartment and rang the bell. “Is your brother here?”

  “Come in, Ash,” Dillon offered as he stepped aside to let her in.

  “Is he here?” she asked again.

  “No, he’s still at work. He said something about working late tonight.”

  “Do you know anything about these papers?” she asked, holding up the envelope.

  “Sorry to say I do, come sit down. Let’s talk.”

  “I suppose you hate me now?”

  “On the contrary, I think my brother’s a damn fool. But I want to hear from you. Just what the hell is going on, Ash?”

  Chapter Six

  After Ashley’s conversation with her brother-in-law she went home hopeful that Dillon could talk some sense into his older brother. Surprised and delighted that Dillon was actually on her side, he gave her reason to think things might work out after all.

  She put the divorce papers in the desk drawer in the den and walked into the bathroom. Stripping out of her clothes, she decided to soak away her tension in warm, lavender-scented bath. As she sank into the luxurious bubbles she leaned back, allowing herself to relax for the first time since receiving the awful delivery at the office.

  Totally drained from the afternoon, she was almost asleep in the tub so she didn’t hear the front door open or the footsteps in the hallway.

  Ashley jumped when she the familiar voice. “Ash, are you here? Dillon said I needed to come over here so here I am. You want to talk, I’m here. If you want to tell me to my face what’s going on, get in here and talk. Let’s get this over with.”

  “Is that you?”

  “Of course it’s me. Who do you think it is? Unless you’ve already given your lover a key to my house,” he replied in a sarcastic tone.

  She got out of the tub, dried herself quickly, and walked into the bedroom wrapped in the towel.

  “My what?” she asked.

  “I didn’t come over here to fight with you. The fighting is over. I’m giving you what you want. Take it all. I’m setting you free to be with the love of your life.”

  “Adam, you’ve got it all wrong, baby,” she said as she ran to him and put her arms around his neck.

  He sighed, closed his eyes, and removed her arms. “What the hell are you trying to do? You want both of us? One man’s not enough for you anymore?”

  “Didn’t Dillon tell you what I told him?”

  “Dillon told me to get my ass over here and talk to you. He said you stopped by. I don’t know why you didn’t just sign the damn papers and leave them at his place. Why did I have to come over here and get them?”

  “I’m not going to sign the papers.”

  “Why the hell not?”

  “I don’t want to,” she replied stubbornly.

  “The sooner you sign them, the sooner we can put this whole farce of a
marriage behind us and the sooner you can move on with your lover.”

  “Is that what you really want?” she said as she gently caressed his face.

  “I don’t know what kind of game you think you’re playing here.”

  She moved closer to him, letting the towel drop to the floor. She leaned up and pulled his face down to hers, letting her lips touch his gently. She bit his lower lip and kissed him. He surrendered to the kiss, pulling her to him. He forced his tongue between her teeth as she willingly opened her mouth to allow him access. He caressed her back and her hands went to his thick hair. She moaned as she ran her fingers through it.

  “Make love to me, Adam,” she whispered.

  Abruptly, he released her. “Get some clothes on, Ash.”

  “What’s wrong with you?” she asked as she grabbed a robe from the bed and wrapped herself in it.

  “What’s wrong with me? You’re all over that guy on the dance floor and now you try to cozy up to me? I didn’t know you could be such a slut, Ash. I guess I was wrong about you all along.”

  “Adam! I…wasn’t all over him…I know you saw us. Dillon told me, but it’s not what you think. He walked over to our table and asked me to dance and we talked. He kissed me…I didn’t kiss him. If you’d stuck around long enough, you’d have seen me pull away and tell him I was a married woman.”

  “Mighty convenient that he shows up in town after I tell you to go find him, don’t you think, Ash? I wasn’t born yesterday. Like I said, I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but it’s not going to work. I’m not going to share you with him or let you compare us so you can make up your mind which one of us you want. Sign the damn papers. I’m giving you an easy out here.”

  “I don’t want out,” she replied.

  “Could have fooled me, baby,” he said. “If you’re not going to sign the papers, I’m leaving. There’s nothing more to be said until you sign them. Goodbye, Ash.”

  “Adam, don’t…leave…me,” she cried out as he turned and walked out of the room. She heard the front door slam behind him. Sinking down to the floor, she held her head in her hands and sobbed.

 

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