by Nikki Ashton
“Oh, so are you expecting me to perform after a gruelling business deal?” Stuart's voice had a hint of mischief.
“Yes I am, and I also expect you to be laden with a rather large present. Especially as you missed out on buying me a birthday gift.”
It was now Stuart’s turn to laugh, “Sorry, but I did get you a present, who did you think sent those roses?”
Bets gasped, “You, you never said,” she cried.
“I like to be a man of mystery, but seeing as you have been a good girl I will bring you something back. What about one of those plastic figures of Big Ben, would you like one of those?”
“Ooh lovely. God I can’t believe you sent those flowers, and kept quiet about it all this time, you sneaky devil.”
“Well you know now, so you can’t accuse me of being unromantic, can you?”
“I never would,” Bets sighed. “Anyway, finish off your horrible breakfast and drive carefully; I still think you should have gone by train.”
“My hotel is in Wembley, so I’ll just get the tube in, but I will drive carefully, and I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Okay, bye.”
“Bye darling, take care.”
The phone clicked off and Bets smiled, hugging it to her chest. This was going to work out, if it killed her.
Chapter 11
Charlotte pulled up outside Kerry’s house, and sighed heavily. She had decided not to telephone, but to come around in person and see exactly how her friend was. As she knocked on the door Charlotte heard raised voices inside, but when Kelvin’s smiling face appeared at the doorway, she thought that she must have been mistaken.
“Hello,” he said, opening the door wider to let Charlotte in. “Come in Charlotte, Kerry’s in the kitchen.”
Charlotte entered the kitchen. “You’re not having a late lunch are you?” she asked, realising that she was desperately looking for a reason not to stay.
Charlotte's thoughts, that she had been mistaken about raised voices, were obviously wrong. Kerry’s face told a different story; she stood next to the sink with a tea towel in her hands. Her eyes were dark and her face was etched with weariness.
“No, we’ve finished about ten minutes ago. Do you want a cuppa?” Kerry asked, as she avoided looking at Charlotte
Charlotte sat down at the table and started leafing through the newspaper. “Hmm, please.” Suddenly she felt uncomfortable, almost like an intruder.
Charlotte felt as though she wasn’t wanted, and it hurt her. Bets had said that Kerry had been better yesterday, so maybe it was just Charlotte that Kerry was at odds with. Charlotte looked up as Kelvin moved past Kerry, to get to the sink. Kerry shrank away from the hand that he had placed on her waist; okay so perhaps it was Kelvin as well.
“Is Esme in bed then?” Charlotte asked about Esme, to lighten the mood.
“Yes, she’s shattered. We've been to see the ducks this morning,” explained Kelvin, as he continued to stack the dishwasher.
Charlotte’s eyes brightened. Things couldn’t be so bad if they were having family outings. “Did she enjoy feeding them Kerry?”
“Oh, erm, I don’t know. I didn’t go, just Kelvin and Esme.” Kerry turned back to the teapot.
“Yes she did,” answered Kelvin, his withered look at Kerry and the shrug with his shoulders speaking volumes.
Charlotte felt deflated. Something had to be done before the situation got out of hand, and this time she would not stand any pussy footing about. Charlotte nodded towards the lounge as she caught Kelvin's eye. He noted the silent command, and picked up a cup of tea that Kerry had just poured out.
“Right, I’ll leave you to it and go and watch some T.V. See you later.”
Charlotte smiled gratefully, “Bye Kelvin, see you later.”
Kerry not acknowledging him at all picked up the other two cups and moved towards Charlotte.
“There you go, so how was the match yesterday? Did you win?”
Charlotte nodded, “Yes, but it was a poor game.” She took a deep breath. “Even so, I don’t want to talk about football; I want to talk about you.”
Her stomach knotted and her heart beat rapidly in her throat. Charlotte knew that Kerry would either blow or may actually decide to confess to how she was really feeling, and she dreaded that she would take the first option.
“Oh for God’s sake Charlotte, not again.” She had been right. Kerry was about to blow, but Charlotte was not about to give up.
“Yes, sorry again Kerry.” She grabbed Kerry’s hands and held them tightly in her own. “I am not leaving here until you tell me exactly what is going on. Why are you being like this, obviously things aren’t right between you and Kelvin? Have you got someone else?”
Kerry shook her head violently. “God, no!”
“Well has he?”
Kerry shook her head again. “No, well at least I don’t think he has, but I wouldn’t blame him.”
Charlotte spotted the chink of light, and ran straight for it. “Why do you say that?”
“You’ve noticed what a cow, I’ve been to him lately.”
“Why have you been a cow, as you put it?”
Kerry shrugged her shoulders and freeing a hand from Charlotte’s grasp rubbed her eyes. “I can’t help it; I want to be horrible to him all the time. Even when he’s being lovely and caring, I think he’s being a creep. Actually, it’s not only him. It's everyone. Everyone gets on my nerves, and I really feel like punching people at times. The only person I’m nice to is Esme, and if I’m honest there are times when…” Kerry paused and took a huge breath to help her say the words. “When I just don’t want to look at her, even be in the same room as her.” Kerry started to cry silently, huge tears rolling down her cheeks.
Charlotte fought the urge to hold her tightly, aware that Kerry needed to carry on at her own pace. She loosened the grip on Kerry’s other hand, but didn’t let go completely. Charlotte wanted prove to Kerry that she still cared.
“I can’t help the way I’m feeling Charlotte. I've tried to be nicer, but I don’t really care enough to do anything about it.” Kerry wiped her nose against her hand, sniffing loudly. “I can see and hear what I’m doing but there is something stopping me from changing. I can almost feel my teeth snap tightly closed when I decide I’m going to say something nice, then horrible thoughts come into my head, and they spring open again, all the nasty words tumbling out.”
“How long have you felt like this, you’ve said that you have been bored and fed up for a few months, but have you felt like this longer than that?” Charlotte reached inside her jacket pocket and passed a crumpled tissue to Kerry.
Kerry shrugged as she blew her nose. “I don’t know, when Dad died, I felt like my heart was going to break, but afterwards, I found out that I was having Esme, and things seemed to get better. I was totally occupied with having a baby, and when she was born, I was so besotted with her; I didn’t really have time to think about how I was feeling. As the months have gone on this black mood has engulfed me, swallowed me up and suffocated me.”
Charlotte sighed heavily as she let Kerry shed a few more tears, she realised now that Kerry’s depression was probably a culmination of things. First, her dad dying and then she had had to cope with a brand-new baby, although it seemed that Esme being born hadn’t really been an issue. The time Kerry had needed to spend with her baby had just masked the growing problem, it was only now, when Esme was a little more independent, that Kerry had got time to think about things and to realise how she was feeling.
“Kerry,” Charlotte whispered, as Kerry took a breath in between sobs. “Don’t you think that you should go and see someone, a professional, about how you are feeling?”
Suddenly, it was as though someone had flicked a switch; Kerry turned into an old cow again. “Oh for God’s sake Charlotte, will you stop with this business that I need to see someone. I will be okay if people just let me get over it in my own time and in my way.” The tears stopped. If Charlotte
hadn’t witnessed how Kerry had been over the last few minutes, she would have sworn it had all been an act, so quick was her mood change.
Charlotte wanted to shake her and tell her to stop being so stupid, but she didn’t; she appeased Kerry. “Okay, maybe you’re right, perhaps you need to do this your way, but at least tell Kelvin how you are feeling, or if you don’t want to, let me.”
Kerry shrugged her shoulders, “If you want to tell him, then you tell him, but it won’t change anything. I still need to deal with this my own way. So he’d better not try his amateur counselling skills on me.”
Charlotte stood up and stroked Kerry’s bent head. “I’ll tell him,” she simply replied, and then left the room.
In the lounge, she could sense immediately that Kelvin already knew what she was going to say. The T.V. was turned down low, and she could hear Kerry’s quiet sobs from the kitchen.
“You heard all that?” she asked.
Kelvin nodded, “Yep, at least she’s admitted that there is a problem. That’s the first step.”
“I think that’s how we have to look at it Kelvin. We have to hope that she realises that she needs professional help.”
“So until then, we weather the storm.”
Charlotte nodded solemnly. “I’m afraid so.”
All day, Bets fought the urge to call Stuart again. He was on a business trip, and she shouldn’t keep disturbing him, anyway she didn’t want to appear too clingy. Yes, she had promised Kerry that she wouldn’t be playing any games this time, but being a limpet like girlfriend was not really her. However, by ten o’ cock that evening when Stuart still hadn’t called, as he had promised, Bets decided to swallow her pride and call him. She punched out his mobile number and waited for his familiar welcome, but all she got was the voicemail asking her to leave a message.
“Hi Stuart, it’s me, just thought I’d give you a call. Call me when you can, it doesn’t matter how late, bye.”
Bets glanced at her watch. She knew it had been a dinner meeting, but he had promised to call her, perhaps he would when he got back to his hotel. Weary and bored, Bets decided to go to bed, and get that early night she had told Stuart she would have. She decided to take a shower, although she really felt like a long hot soak. She had done her own bikini line today, and there was no way she wanted to look like a plucked chicken, when Stuart got home tomorrow.
After a quick shower, Bets dried herself and slipped into some fleecy cotton pyjamas. She loved how cosy they were, but didn’t get to wear them much these days. They weren’t exactly what one donned for a passionate night in with your new boyfriend. She then decided to check her phone, just in case she had missed it ringing while under the shower, she picked it up but nothing to indicate any messages had been left.
Just before going to bed Bets decided that she would ring Charlotte, and see how she had got on speaking to Kerry today, but there was no reply. She then dialled Kerry’s telephone number, but no reply there either; perhaps her mobile was faulty. Stuart hadn’t called, and she couldn’t get the two people that she would have banked on being in at ten-thirty on a Sunday evening. So Bets dialled Cheryl, one of her assistants, and asked her to call her back.
“I take it your equipment is working perfectly then Miss Dobbs?” Cheryl asked, as she mimicked a nasally operator on the other end.
“Apparently so, thank you for all your help,” replied Bets, keeping up the joke.
“My pleasure madam, and see you tomorrow,” with that Cheryl was gone.
Bets flounced around the flat, willing the telephone to ring, imagining all sorts of scenarios. Stuart was at this moment being treated to a private lap dance by a six foot blonde with a tight golden body and wearing only a silver sequined thong. Maybe he’d got talking to a beautiful model, who had made him realise that he still wanted to enjoy the single life, and so he had dumped Bets, without telling her. Bets realised what she was thinking and was shocked to the core; she actually felt insecure about a man. This thought didn’t help, but only made her feel more irritable. At almost one a.m., the early night forgotten, she decided that Stuart obviously wasn’t going to ring, so she went to bed to try to think of a punishment for him, for making her feel all stupid and girly.
She slept fitfully, dreaming about a service station cleaner dancing for her in a plastic apron and nothing else, only to be woken at 6:30 by a loud banging on the front door.
Alfred, who had been treated to a night at the end of the bed, growled at first but subsequently went back to sleep. Bets grumpily threw off the duvet, chanting a curse on whoever was knocking, as she slipped on her dressing gown. Suddenly, she realised that it may be Stuart, driven home through the night to be with her, which was why he hadn’t rung; which meant he could be forgiven.
“Oh, hello what are you doing here, it’s not Kerry or the baby is it?” Bets asked, as she stood back to let Kelvin in.
Shocked that he was here, Bets followed him into the lounge and watched as he sank on the sofa.
“Kelvin, what is it? You’re scaring me, just tell me.” She flopped down next to him and took his hands in hers.
“I don’t know what to say Bets, I wish I didn’t have to tell you this.” Kelvin’s eyes were full of tears as he dropped his head into his hands.
“WHAT tell me what?” Bets almost screamed at him. She could see that he was distressed, but she needed to know why.
“I’m so sorry, I…” His voice trailed off as the tears slid down his face, and then wiping them with the back of one hand, he took hold of Bets’ cold hand with his other. “It’s Stuart, Bets there has been an accident.”
“What do you mean, what sort of an accident?"” Bets was frantic now. It had never occurred to her that Kelvin would be here about Stuart. “Is he okay?” She grabbed her hand away from Kelvin's.
Kelvin reached across and took her hand back from her lap, ensconcing it in both of his, really tightly. “Bets sweetheart, I’m so sorry, he’s...he's," a deep sob shuddered out of his mouth. “He’s dead.”
Before she could do anything, Kelvin wrapped both of his arms around Bets; a protective barrier so nothing more could harm her. Bets didn’t react at all she sat stiffly, her trapped arms rigid by her side. After a couple of minutes, Kelvin very slowly pulled himself away, wiping a silent tear from Bet’s cheek.
“Are you sure?” she asked robotically, looking beyond him. “Could it be a mistake?”
Kelvin shook his head solemnly. “I’m sorry Bets; it's true.”
Feeling as though she were moving in slow motion, Bets stood up and walked into the kitchen. Automatically, she began to run water into the sink to clean last night’s plate, squeezing in so much washing up liquid that the bubbles seeped over the sides like melted ice cream. Kelvin came and stood beside her, watching for a few seconds before turning off the tap and then leading her back to the sofa.
“Please Bets, sit down,” he whispered.
Her gaze was fixed, and Bets spoke in a barely audible voice. “What happened?”
Kelvin shook his head, “I’m not sure, his dad didn’t say much, something to do with a junkie.”
“W-w-when did they contact you?” she asked, now turning to Kelvin.
“Late last night, I was supposed to be going around to his parents today, to help set up their new computer. I suppose that they didn’t want me arriving unaware of what had happened.” Kelvin dropped his head again, sounding almost apologetic, for being told before Bets.
Bets sensed how he seemed to be feeling. “Kelvin, don’t feel guilty, they probably don’t even know that I exist.” Bets smiled gently at him.
“They do, well I know that his sister does at least, because Stuart told me. I’m sorry I should have called you last night.” Kelvin ran a cool palm along Bet’s cheek. “He really liked you Bets. I only spoke to him on Saturday, and he told me then how happy you made him. I’ve never heard him talk about anyone like that before.”
Bets gave a watery smile the tears were now fallin
g freely down her face. “I really liked him too. He was a wonderful, lovely man; in fact, he’d persuaded me that this relationship lark can be quite good.” She tried to laugh, but all that escaped was a deep heart-rending sob. “I’m sorry Kelvin, but I really liked him.”
Kelvin wasn’t sure how long he held Bets, but it was as long as it took the sobs and tears to subside. They rocked together, steadily, while Kelvin stroked Bets’ unruly curls, her shoulders jerking involuntarily. Eventually, she peeled away, desperate to wipe her running nose.
“Oh God Kelvin, I’m sorry, but I’ve got snot all over your shoulder.” Kelvin glanced down and they both allowed a small laugh to escape. “You really are going to miss him, aren’t you?” Bets asked, as she wiped her eyes and nose with some soggy tissue that she had fished out of her dressing gown pocket.
Kelvin nodded slowly, a smile creeping to his lips. “Yeah, I am going to miss him. He was a good mate. I'm just glad that we got back in touch over the last few years.”
“Hmm, I can understand that, he was good company,” Bets said, playing with the belt on her dressing gown. “Funny isn’t it, how things turn out?”
“What do you mean,” asked Kelvin.
“Well I find someone I like, who I am even considering settling down with, and then…” Bets gasped for breath, trying to hold in a sob.
Kelvin, wasn't really sure what to do, so stood up. “Shall I make some tea?” he asked, making backwards steps to the kitchen.
“No thanks Kelvin, actually if you don’t mind I think that I’d rather be on my own for a while.”
“Are you sure?” Kelvin knelt beside Bets and rested a hand on her knee.
She nodded glumly, a handful of tissues clutched against her mouth.
As he stood up, Kelvin kissed her gently on top of her head. “One of us will call you later. Do you want the girls to come around?" He didn’t want to push anything, but he didn’t want Bets to be alone either.
“No, no, please I’ll be fine. I'll call them if I need anything,” Bets noticed the look of concern on Kelvin’s face. “I promise.”