350 Black as his purpose did the night resemble,
When he lay couched in the ominous horse,
Hath now his black and grim complexion smeared
With heraldry more dismal, head to foot,
Now is he total guise, horridly tricked
With blood of fathers, mothers, daughters, sons,
Baked and imparched in coagulate gore,
Rifted in earth and fire, old grandsire Priam seeks –’
So go on.
Corambis. Afore God, my lord, well spoke, and with good accent.
360 Player. ‘Anon he finds him striking too short at Greeks,
His antique sword rebellious to his arm,
Lies where it falls, unable to resist.
Pyrrhus at Priam drives, but all in rage,
Strikes wide, but with the whiff and wind
Of his fell sword, th’unnerved father falls.’
Corambis. Enough, my friend, ’tis too long.
Hamlet. It shall to the barbers with your beard:
A pox, he’s for a jig, or a tale of bawdry,
Or else he sleeps. Come on, to Hecuba, come.
370 Player. ‘But who, O who had seen the mobled queen?’
Corambis. Mobled queen is good, faith, very good.
Player. ‘All in the alarum and fear of death rose up,
And o’er her weak and all o’er-teeming loins, a blanket
And a kercher on that head, where late the diadem stood,
Who this had seen with tongue-envenomed speech
Would treason have pronounced;
For if the gods themselves had seen her then,
When she saw Pyrrhus with malicious strokes,
Mincing her husband’s limbs,
380 It would have made milch the burning eyes of heaven,
And passion in the gods.’
Corambis. look my lord, if he hath not changed his colour,
And hath tears in his eyes: no more good heart, no more.
Hamlet. ’Tis well, ’tis very well. I pray my lord,
Will you see the players well bestowed?
I tell you they are the chronicles
And brief abstracts of the time.
After your death I can tell you,
You were better have a bad epitaph,
390 Than their ill report while you live.
Corambis. My lord, I will use them according to their deserts.
Hamlet. O far better, man: use every man after his deserts
Then who should ’scape whipping?
Use them after your own honour and dignity,
The less they deserve, the greater credit’s yours.
Corambis. Welcome, my good fellows. Exit.
Hamlet. Come hither, masters: can you not play the murder of Gonzago?
Players. Yes, my lord.
400 Hamlet. And could’st not thou for a need study me
Some dozen or sixteen lines,
Which I would set down and insert?
Players. Yes, very easily, my good lord.
Hamlet. ’Tis well, I thank you: follow that lord,
And do you hear, sirs? Take heed you mock him not.
Gentlemen, for your kindness I thank you,
And for a time I would desire you leave me.
Gilderstone. Our love and duty is at your command.
Exeunt all but Hamlet.
Hamlet. Why, what a dunghill idiot slave am I?
410 Why these players here draw water from their eyes,
For Hecuba: why, what is Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba?
What would he do an if he had my loss?
His father murdered, and a crown bereft him?
He would turn all his tears to drops of blood,
Amaze the standers-by with his laments,
Strike more than wonder in the judicial ears,
Confound the ignorant and make mute the wise.
Indeed his passion would be general.
Yet I, like to an ass and John-a-dreams,
420 Having my father murdered by a villain,
Stand still, and let it pass: why sure, I am a coward.
Who plucks me by the beard, or twits my nose,
Gives me the lie i’th’throat down to the lungs,
Sure I should take it, or else I have no gall,
Or by this I should ’a fatted all the region kites
With this slave’s offal, this damned villain,
Treacherous, bawdy, murderous villain!
Why, this is brave, that I the son of my dear father,
Should like a scullion, like a very drab
430 Thus rail in words. About my brain:
I have heard that guilty creatures sitting at a play
Hath, by the very cunning of the scene, confessed a murder
Committed long before.
The spirit that I have seen may be the devil.
And out of my weakness and my melancholy
As he is very potent with such men.
Doth seek to damn me: I will have sounder proofs.
The play’s the thing,
Wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the king. Exit.
[Scene 8]
Enter King, Queen, and lords [Rossencraft and Gilderstone].
King. lords, can you by no means find
The cause of our son Hamlet’s lunacy?
You being so near in love, even from his youth,
Methinks should gain more than a stranger should.
Gilderstone. My lord, we have done all the best we could
To wring from him the cause of all his grief,
But still he puts us off, and by no means
Would make an answer to that we exposed.
Rossencraft. Yet was he something more inclined to mirth
10 Before we left him, and I take it
He hath given order for a play tonight,
At which he craves your highness’ company.
King. With all our heart, it likes us very well.
Gentlemen, seek still to increase his mirth,
Spare for no cost, our coffers shall be open,
And we unto yourselves will still be thankful.
Both. In all we can, be sure you shall command.
Queen. Thanks, gentlemen, and what the queen of Denmark
May pleasure you, be sure you shall not want.
20 Gilderstone. We’ll once again unto the noble prince.
King. Thanks to you both: Gertred, you’ll see this play?
Queen. My lord, I will, and it joys me at the soul
He is inclined to any kind of mirth.
Corambis. Madam, I pray be ruled by me:
And my good sovereign, give me leave to speak,
We cannot yet find out the very ground
Of his distemperance, therefore
I hold it meet, if so it please you,
Else they shall not meet, and thus it is.
30 King. What is’t, Corambis?
Corambis. Marry my lord, this: soon, when the sports are done,
Madam, send you in haste to speak with him,
And I myself will stand behind the arras.
There question you the cause of all his grief,
And then in love and nature unto you, he’ll tell you all:
My lord, how think you on it?
King. It likes us well: Gertred, what say you?
Queen. With all my heart, soon will I send for him.
Corambis. Myself will be that happy messenger,
40 Who hopes his grief will be revealed to her.
Exeunt omnes.
[Scene 9]
Enter Hamlet and the Players.
Hamlet. Pronounce me this speech trippingly a’ the tongue as I taught thee,
Marry, an you mouth it, as many of your players do.
I’d rather hear a town bull bellow,
Than such a fellow speak my lines.
Nor do not saw the air thus with your hands,
But give everything his action with
temperance.
O it offends me to the soul, to hear a rumbustious periwig fellow,
To tear a passion in tatters, into very rags,
To split the ears of the ignorant, who for the
10 Most part are capable of nothing but dumbshows and noises.
I would have such a fellow whipped, for o’erdoing termagant.
It out-Herods Herod.
Player. My lord, we have indifferently reformed that among us.
Hamlet.The better, the better, mend it altogether!
There be fellows that I have seen play –
And heard others commend them, and that highly too –
That having neither the gait of Christian, pagan,
Nor Turk, have so strutted and bellowed,
That you would ’a thought, some of nature’s journeymen
20 Had made men, and not made them well,
They imitated humanity so abominable.
Take heed, avoid it.
Player. I warrant you, my lord.
Hamlet. And do you hear? let not your clown speak
More than is set down: there be some of them I can tell you
That will laugh themselves, to set on some
Quantity of barren spectators to laugh with them,
Albeit there is some necessary point in the play
Then to be observed: O ’tis vile, and shows
30 A pitiful ambition in the fool that useth it.
And then you have some again, that keeps one suit
Of jests, as a man is known by one suit of
Apparel, and gentlemen quotes his jests down
In their tables, before they come to the play, as thus:
‘Cannot you stay ’til I eat my porridge?’ And, ‘you owe me
A quarter’s wages’: and, ‘my coat wants a cullison’:
And, ‘your beer is sour’: and blabbering with his lips
And this keeping in his cinque-a-pace of jests,
When, God knows, the warm clown cannot make a jest
40 Unless by chance, as the blind man catches a hare.
Masters, tell him of it.
Player. We will, my lord.
Hamlet. Well, go make you ready.
Exeunt players. [Enter Horatio.]
Horatio.Here, my lord.
Hamlet. Horatio, thou art even as just a man.
As e’er my conversation coped withal.
Horatio. O, my lord!
Hamlet. Nay, why should I flatter thee?
Why should the poor be flattered?
50 What gain should I receive by flattering thee,
That nothing hath but thy good mind?
Let flattery sit on those time-pleasing tongues,
To gloze with them that loves to hear their praise,
And not with such as thou, Horatio.
There is a play tonight, wherein one scene they have
Comes very near the murder of my father.
When thou shalt see that act afoot,
Mark thou the king: do but observe his looks,
For I mine eyes shall rivet to his face.
60 And if he do not bleach, and change at that,
It is a damned ghost that we have seen.
Horatio, have a care: observe him well.
Horatio. My lord, mine eyes shall still be on his face,
And not the smallest alteration
That shall appear in him, but I shall note it.
Hamlet. Hark, they come.
Enter King, Queen, Corambis, [Ofelia,] and other lords.
King. How now son Hamlet, how fare you: shall we have a play?
Hamlet. I’faith, the chameleon’s dish, not capon crammed, feed
70 a’ the air.
Ay, father. My lord, you played in the university?
Corambis. That I did, my lord, and I was counted a good actor.
Hamlet. What did you enact there?
Corambis. My lord, I did act Julius Caesar, I was killed in the
Capitol: Brutus killed me.
Hamlet. It was a brute part of him,
To kill so capital a calf.
Come, be these players ready?
Queen. Hamlet, come sit down by me.
80 Hamlet. No, by my faith mother, here’s a metal more attractive.
Lady, will give you me leave, and so forth,
To lay my head in your lap?
Ofelia. No, my lord.
Hamlet. Upon your lap. What did you think I meant, contrary matters?
Enter a Dumb Show, the King and Queen. He sits down in an arbour, she leaves him. Then enters lucianus with poison in a vial, and pours it in his ears, and goes away. Then the Queen cometh and finds him dead, and goes away with the other.
Ofelia. What means this, my lord? Enter the Prologue.
Hamlet. This is miching mallico, that means mischief.
Ofelia. What doth this mean, my lord?
Hamlet. You shall hear anon: this fellow will tell you all.
90 Ofelia. Will he tell us what this show means?
Hamlet. Ay, or any show you’ll show him,
Be not afeared to show, he’ll not be afeared to tell.
O, these players cannot keep counsel, they’ll tell all.
Prologue. For us and for our tragedy
Here stooping to your clemency,
We beg your hearing patiently.
Hamlet. Is’t a prologue, or a poesy for a ring?
Ofelia. ’Tis short, my lord.
Hamlet. As women’s love.
Enter the Duke and Duchess.
100 Duke. Full forty years are past, their date is gone
Since happy time joined both our hearts as one.
And now the blood that filled my youthful veins
Runs weakly in their pipes, and all the strains
Of music, which whilom pleased mine ear,
Is now a burden that age cannot bear.
And therefore sweet nature must pay his due,
To heaven must I, and leave the earth with you.
Duchess. O say not so, lest that you kill my heart.
When death takes you, let life from me depart.
110 Duke. Content thyself: when ended is my date,
Thou mayest, perchance, have a more noble mate,
More wise, more youthful, and one –
Duchess. O speak no more, for then I am accursed,
None weds the second, but she kills the first:
A second time I kill my lord that’s dead,
When second husband kisses me in bed.
Hamlet. O wormwood, wormwood!
Duke. I do believe you, sweet, what now you speak,
But what we do determine oft we break,
120 For our demises still are overthrown,
Our thoughts are ours, their end’s none of our own:
So think you will no second husband wed,
But die thy thoughts, when thy first lord is dead.
Duchess. Both here and there pursue me lasting strife,
If once a widow, ever I be wife.
Hamlet. If she should break now.
Duke. ’Tis deeply sworn, sweet. leave me here awhile,
My spirits grow dull, and fain I would beguile the tedious time with sleep.
Duchess. Sleep rock thy brain,
130 And never come mischance between us twain. Exit lady.
Hamlet. Madam, how do you like this play?
Queen. The lady protests too much.
Hamlet. O, but she’ll keep her word.
King. Have you heard the argument: is there no offence in it?
Hamlet. No offence in the world: poison in jest, poison in jest.
King. What do you call the name of the play?
Hamlet. Mousetrap: marry, how tragically – this play is
The image of a murder done in Guyana. Albertus
Was the Duke’s name, his wife Baptista.
140 Father, it is a knavish piece a’ work, but what
A’ that, it toucheth not us, you and I
that have free
Souls: let the galled jade wince. This is one
Lucianus, nephew to the king.
Ofelia. Y’are as good as a Chorus, my lord.
Hamlet. I could interpret the love you bear, if I saw the poopies dallying.
Ofelia. Y’are very pleasant, my lord.
Hamlet. Who I, your only jigmaker? Why, what should a man
do but be merry? For look how cheerfully my mother looks:
150 my father died within these two hours.
Ofelia. Nay, it is twice two months, my lord.
Hamlet. Two months, nay, then let the devil wear black,
For I’ll have a suit of sables. Jesus, two months dead,
And not forgotten yet? Nay then, there’s some
Likelihood a gentleman’s death may outlive memory,
But by my faith he must build churches then,
Or else he must follow the old epitaph:
With ho, with ho, the hobby-horse is forgot.
Ofelia. Your jests are keen, my lord.
160 Hamlet. It would cost you a groaning to take them off.
Ofelia. Still better and worse.
Hamlet. So you must take your husband, begin. Murderer
Begin, a pox, leave thy damnable faces and begin,
Come: the croaking raven doth bellow for revenge.
Murderer. Thoughts black, hands apt, drugs fit, and time agreeing.
Confederate season, else no creature seeing:
Thou mixture rank, of midnight weeds collected,
With Hecate’s bane thrice-blasted, thrice-infected,
Thy natural magic and dire property,
170 One wholesome life usurps immediately. Exit.
Hamlet. He poisons him for his estate.
King. lights, I will go to bed.
Corambis. The king rises: lights, ho!
Exeunt King and lords.
Hamlet. What, frighted with false fires?
Then let the stricken deer go weep,
The hart ungalled play,
For some must laugh, while some must weep,
Thus runs the world away.
Horatio. The king is moved, my lord.
180 Hamlet. Ay, Horatio: I’ll take the ghost’s word
For more than all the coin in Denmark.
Enter Rossencraft and Gilderstone.
Rossencraft. Now my lord, how is’t with you?
Hamlet. And if the king like not the tragedy,
Why then belike he likes it not, perdy.
Rossencraft. We are very glad to see your grace so pleasant.
My good lord, let us again entreat
To know of you the ground and cause of your distemperature.
Gilderstone. My lord, your mother craves to speak with you.
Hamlet. We shall obey, were she ten times our mother.
190 Rossencraft. But my good lord, shall I entreat thus much?
Five Revenge Tragedies: The Spanish Tragedy, Hamlet, Antonio's Revenge, The Tragedy of Hoffman, The Revenger's Tragedy (Penguin Classics) Page 15