“I wonder what that was all about?” I asked. But as we scrolled down his wall, there was much, much more. Again, Roc had only responded to a few, particularly to the pretty ones who had been showing much skin. Monica clicked on the link to his friends and we searched through them. Many of the pictures caused us to shake our heads, and how in the hell could any man be faithful when the women were making themselves so available?
Finally, we came across a photo of Raven. Monica clicked on it and it allowed us to look through her pictures and read her wall. Her personal information was available too. In a matter of minutes, we found out that Raven’s birthday was in April and she was twenty-nine years old. Her last name was Smith and she worked at Ameristar Casino as a blackjack dealer. She’d graduated from the University of Missouri and was also a model. She had numerous pictures of her in seductive positions, as well as simple ones that looked as if they belonged in magazines. Did she have to look that spectacular in a white swim suit, where she was sitting on Roc’s lap? Her favorite activities included traveling, which she often did, and cooking was a favorite too. There was so much more about her available, but what stung the most were the numerous pictures of her and Roc. He was all over her wall. Friends complimented her “fine-ass man” and they seriously looked like a happy couple. From the outside looking in, it appeared that they’d been together for quite some time. At this point, I was speechless and so was Monica.
She took a deep breath. I figured she had been thinking the same thing I had been thinking. Roc and Raven looked good together. “How long has he been seeing this chick?” she asked.
I shrugged my shoulders, regretting, again, that I was snooping. The saying “what you don’t know won’t hurt” was fitting. “I’m not sure. But with all of these pictures of him on her wall, it seems as if it’s been a long time.”
Monica started looking at the dates on the pictures, pointing them out to me. I had walked away from the computer, because I’d gotten my feelings hurt. Monica turned around, telling me that most of the pictures were recent, but there were are few that dated back to the summer of last year, when Roc claimed to be in Kansas City, getting his life together.
“It doesn’t appear that he’s known her for that long. And you know darn well that Roc would drop her in a heartbeat if the two of you would get your act together.”
I sighed. “You’re just trying to make me feel better. Raven has Roc wrapped around her finger, and he has a thing for shapely women. I’ve been thinking about joining Weight Watchers anyway, and every time I see all that weight Jennifer Hudson has lost, I get hyped.”
“She looks spectacular, but why are you always going there with the weight thing? I thought you were happy with how you looked, and from what I can tell, Roc couldn’t care less about a woman’s weight. He’s been down with you no matter what and you know that. And as for Raven having him wrapped around her finger, that’s bull and you know it.”
“I . . . I know, but Raven looks so perfect. I’m sure he appreciates a woman with a figure like that. I hate to talk like I’m so insecure, but you know how critical men are about healthy women.”
“Some men, not all. But that’s because those men have their own insecurities. A decent man would look at a woman as a whole, and I have to defend Roc this time. He has never said one thing about your weight and it’s obvious that size is no concern of his.”
I had to agree with Monica. Roc accepted me “as is” and even though I had been hard on myself after seeing Raven, I felt good about myself too. I scrapped the idea of Weight Watchers, because the thought of losing weight for someone else didn’t make sense. If I was happy with me, so be it. I chuckled and pulled Monica up from the chair.
“You know what? I’m not going to do this to myself. I’m well aware that Roc has no issues with my appearance, but I also need to accept the fact that he has too many issues with women. He’s not the man I see in my future. I don’t want to spend my Saturday cooped up in your house, looking at pictures on Facebook, and discussing Roc. Let’s go shopping, and take our butts to the Cheesecake Factory. We can take the girls with us. Reggie sent me some back pay money on my child support. Since my bills are paid up, I have nothing to do with the money.”
Monica shut down her computer and jumped up from her seat. “You don’t have to ask me twice about going shopping and eating. I’m all for it, girl. Let’s get going!”
Monica hurried to change clothes and we headed to the Galleria to shop. Being with Monica and Chassidy took my mind off all that I was feeling inside, and I couldn’t help but thank God for my best friend who was helping me cope.
Chapter 8
I needed to get away, even if it meant going to Columbia, Missouri to be with Latrel and Angelique. This time, Latrel had invited me and Reggie to come to one of his basketball games. He hadn’t played in several seasons, because his second year in college he had torn ligaments and his leg hadn’t healed. He was on the bench more than anything, but Reggie sometimes visited to show his support. I was more excited about Latrel getting a degree in engineering. Angelique was getting a journalism degree and they seemed to have a bright future ahead of them.
Monica had agreed to watch Chassidy for me, and as soon as I dropped her off, I made my way to Columbia. It was only a two-hour drive from where I lived, but the ride was very peaceful. Gave me time to think and take in the soothing music on the radio. The last time I’d seen Reggie was about six or seven months ago. I promised Latrel that I would be on my best behavior. He didn’t know that Reggie and I had occasionally talked on the phone, nor was Latrel aware that we had been discussing him. I told myself that I wouldn’t confront Latrel with anything Reggie had told me, and I would definitely keep that promise.
Angelique and Latrel had moved into an apartment that was off campus, but nearby. After their wedding, I drove to Columbia on several weekends to help Angelique decorate. She said that she not only liked the decorations, but that she also appreciated my help. It wasn’t until I stood in their apartment, giving them hugs, that I realized she’d changed every single thing around.
“The place still looks nice,” I said as I looked around at the now tacky-ass furniture and non-matching décor. Where did brown, orange, and gray match? It didn’t. I didn’t know if Angelique really wanted my help or if she was just being fake. She didn’t come across as being that way, but every single thing that I’d purchased, and my décor suggestions, were done away with. How was I not to take it personal?
“We’re so glad you’re here,” Angelique said. “Will you be staying with us for the next few days, or at a hotel?”
“I’m staying at the Hampton Inn on Fellows Place. I know the game is tonight and I’m sure the two of you are anxious to get out of here. I just wanted to stop by to let Latrel know I’d made it.”
Latrel sat on the couch, tying his tennis shoes. “I’m leaving in about fifteen minutes. You do know where the arena is, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do. I’m going to take my luggage to the hotel, then I’ll meet the two of you at the game.”
Angelique nodded and Latrel stood up. “I wish I had time to help you with your luggage, but the coach wants us to be on time. This will be my first time actually playing since I hurt myself.”
I could tell that Latrel was a bit nervous. I gave him a hug and told him not to worry. “You’ll do fine,” I said, trying to encourage him. “And I’ll be in my seat rooting for you.”
Latrel walked me to my car, and kissed my cheek before I drove off and made my way to the hotel. As soon as I got to the Hampton Inn, I saw Reggie at the counter, waiting for the reservationist to finish with a man in front of him. I knew we’d bump into each other, but I didn’t expect to be at the same hotel with him. The last time I’d seen him was at Latrel’s wedding and he was with another woman. Since then, he looked as if he’d picked up a few pounds, but not where it affected him in any way. Reggie had always had a thick build, and was approximately six foot five. That’s where
Latrel had gotten his height from and he was even taller. Reggie played football in college and basketball as well, but neither panned out for him. It didn’t matter because he was good at business. Even though his realty company had suffered a significant loss last year because of the economy, it had since recovered. He was back to giving me a little more money and I was happy about that.
So, in a nutshell, our relationship was . . . okay. In the past, he’d been upset with me about Roc and was devastated when he found out I was pregnant with Roc’s child. But after a while, he seemed to get over it. Since we’d been divorced, he had been running from one woman to the next. He had also remarried, but got divorced less than a year later. Stability didn’t seem to be working for him either, but we were here to support Latrel, and the both of us had to make the best of it.
I stepped up next to Reggie as he waited by the counter. He was just as surprised to see me, and reached out to give me a hug. “Hello, Dee,” he said. “I didn’t know you were staying at this hotel.”
“They have some of the most affordable rates and I like their rooms. Called around and couldn’t beat it. How long have you been waiting?”
“Not long. She’s wrapping it up now.”
Reggie and I waited together. When we stepped up to the desk, he told the reservationist to put both of the rooms in his name and he took care of the bill. He then asked for a bellboy to help me with my luggage and we made our way up to the third floor together. His room was directly across from mine. I thanked him for the generosity, and after he told me to knock on his door before I left, I went into my room to change for the game.
Almost forty-five minutes later, I had changed into a gold ribbed turtleneck and black denim jeans. I wanted to represent Mizzou’s colors, just as the other fans would be doing.
Like Reggie had asked, I knocked on his door to see if he was ready. He was, and was dressed in a Mizzou sweatshirt and jeans. A Mizzou cap was on his head and it looked as if he had trimmed his beard. As we walked to the elevator together, it felt so awkward. I had been married to Reggie for almost twenty-something years, yet felt uncomfortable around him. Maybe it was because of the bitterness I still carried inside of me for how badly he’d done me. But I was so sure that I had put all of that behind me. When somebody did me wrong, it was hard for me to let go. I had to work on that, because it seemed to be doing more harm than good.
Mizzou Arena was packed with basketball fans. I felt like I was at an NBA game, the place was so alive and rocking. Mizzou was winning the game and Latrel had scored six points. He was a great rebounder, too, and it was another one of those moments where I felt so proud of my children.
Angelique seemed happy when Latrel scored too, and I watched her as she watched him. I could tell when a woman was genuinely in love; she definitely was. Her eyes lit up, and she was on her feet way more times than me and Reggie were. That made me feel good, and my concerns with the decorating disaster were no longer an issue.
Finally, the game was over and Mizzou had won. The noise in the arena was so loud that I shielded my ears with my hands. It was a very good game and the players, including Latrel, were hyped about their win. They were still on the floor congratulating each other, and as I saw several cheerleaders crowding around Latrel and whispering in his ear, I watched Angelique. Her face went flat and she had stopped cheering to pout. She had no clue that I was watching her, and when the same cheerleader who kept on hugging Latrel kissed his cheek, Angelique dropped back in her seat. Her eyes watered, and she blinked her tears away. I surely wondered what the hell that was about. To me, Latrel acted as if he were a single man, and instead of keeping it moving, he continued to stand there for a while, lollygagging with the women around him. After a while, Angelique got up from her seat and walked off. A few minutes later, I got out of my seat to go follow her. Reggie grabbed my hand.
“Stay out of it, Dee. I know where you’re going with this and it’s none of your business.”
I politely moved my hand away from his. “Like hell it’s not. His tail is out of line.”
I walked away and saw Angelique as she went into the bathroom. She had already gone into one of the stalls and I waited by the sinks for her to come out. When she did, she was blowing her nose and her eyes were slightly red. She was surprised to see me.
“I guess you have to use the bathroom too,” she said, putting on a fake smile as if everything were okay.
In no way would I be considered fake, so I spoke my piece whether she liked it or not. “What’s going on with you and Latrel? I know there is something, Angelique, and you weren’t in that stall crying for nothing. Is he cheating on you?”
Just with me saying it, she busted out in tears. I knew exactly how she felt . . . been there, done that. I reached out to embrace her. “I’m not sure what he’s doing,” she said. “He’s always leaving and doesn’t come back until late sometimes. When I question him, he acts as if I don’t deserve an answer. Says that I’m trying to keep tabs on him. Girls are always hanging around him and I don’t know what is up with him and that cheerleader. Every time I see her, she’s whispering something in his ear and laughing. They have several classes together and it drives me nuts!”
“Well, the last thing you need to be doing is standing in here crying. Latrel is your husband and you should not stand back and let other women have at him. I have a lot of faith in my son, and I don’t believe that he would’ve married you just to cheat on you. As for you, don’t go around acting like a wimp. Get a backbone and stand up for yourself. Show Latrel who the real boss lady is, and if he comes in late, send him right on back out the door. Don’t let him come lie in bed with you without giving you an explanation. Make him live up to his vows and call him on his mess when he doesn’t do it.”
Angelique backed away from me and wiped her tears. “I just don’t like arguing with him. I keep a lot of things inside because I don’t want to—”
“No,” I said, cutting her off. “Always tell him how you feel. Make him listen to you and don’t you hold anything inside. All you’re doing is building up your frustrations. I would hate for you to bust him upside his head one day because you’re so mad you couldn’t control yourself.”
Angelique smiled, then we both laughed. “Splatter some water on your face to clear it up. Then, let’s go out there and congratulate your husband on a good game.”
Angelique cleared her face; then we left the bathroom to go find Latrel. Like many others, we waited outside near the locker rooms until the players came out. Standing close by was the cheerleader who couldn’t keep her hands off Latrel. She smiled at me from afar, but I turned my head. I wasn’t trying to be ugly, but she knew better carrying on as she had with a married man. I noticed as she kept looking over one of her friend’s shoulders at Angelique. She, too, was playing the sneak-peak game. There was no doubt . . . I was going to hurt Latrel if my suspicions about what he was doing were correct.
Some of the players started to exit; then out came Latrel. Angelique and I didn’t have time to rush up to him before some of the other students did, including the cheerleader. She hadn’t given him room to breathe, and it wasn’t as if she didn’t know he was married, because he had on a ring. Angelique just stood there, taking tiny steps through the crowd. I wanted to snatch her ass up and throw her right by Latrel’s side. Instead, I pushed her back and whispered . . . well, gritted my teeth as I spoke in her ear.
“Go up to him and hug him. Kiss him on the lips, then put his arm around your neck. Tell him his mother is waiting over there to congratulate him and pull his hand in my direction. Go!” I said, shoving her forward.
She swallowed, then pushed through the crowd to get to Latrel. By the time she got there, the cheerleader was standing next to Latrel as if she were the prize winner. Angelique did exactly what I told her to do, except the kiss she gave him was on his cheek. She held his hand, pulling him with her through the crowd. I saw the cheerleader purse her lips; then she turned away to talk to some fr
iends. Latrel walked up to me, smiling.
“So, I guess you liked the game,” he said to me.
“The game was fine. But my son was off the chain.” I hugged him and patted his back. I didn’t care how old Latrel was, he always wanted my approval. I was very proud of him.
“Where’s Dad?” he asked while looking around. I wanted to say “he’s probably around here chasing ass,” but I decided not to go there.
“He was sitting with me, but we went to the ladies’ room. I’m sure he’ll find us.”
“I wanted to say what’s up to him before I get out of here. The fellas and me going out tonight.”
I looked at Angelique, waiting for her to say something. She didn’t, so I addressed Latrel. “Where are you all going?”
“To a party.”
My eyes shifted to Angelique. I hoped she was able to read me. Unfortunately not. “Are you going?” I said to her. “If so, have a good time. It’s so good to see the two of you hanging out together after the game, and y’all be careful.”
Latrel looked at Angelique. “She doesn’t want to go, do you?”
She just stood there. At this point, I could have punched her in her face! I had to speak up again. “Of course she wants to go. What woman wouldn’t want to celebrate with her husband after playing the game you just played? I’m sure she’d be delighted.”
Latrel waited for Angelique to speak up. “I would like to go, if you don’t mind,” she said skeptically.
“You know I don’t mind,” Latrel said. He lifted her chin and gave her a kiss. I sighed, thinking about how much Angelique reminded me of myself when I was in college. Reggie meant everything to me, like what Latrel means to her. I kind of just went with the flow, but going with the flow and being timid didn’t pay off. There were too many cutthroat women in the world, willing to take my place. Unfortunately, I’d let them win, but never again.
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