We walked off to go look for Reggie, but I snapped my fingers, pretending as if I’d lost something. “Doggone it,” I said, touching my earlobe. “I lost one of my earrings. Why don’t the two of you go ahead? Let me go back to look for it.”
Holding hands, Latrel and Angelique walked away. I made my way back over to the cheerleader who was still cutting her eyes and talking to her friends. I walked up and tapped her shoulder. She turned her head and smiled. “Hello,” I said, smiling back at her. “I’m Latrel’s mother, Desa Rae. May I speak to you for a minute?”
“Sure,” she said, moving away from her friends. She tucked her pompoms underneath her arm and tugged at her tiny top that barely covered her perfectly sized breasts. Of course she was pretty, but pretty or not, she wasn’t cut out for my son.
“I don’t mean to inject myself in my son’s affairs, but are you aware that he’s married to Angelique?”
“Yes. And Latrel and I are just friends. We have a few classes together and sometimes we help each other with homework.”
I nodded. “That’s good. I truly hope that’s all it is, because if I ever find out that the two of you are doing more than homework together, you’re going to hear from me. And trust me when I say you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry, because bad things happen when I am. So do yourself a favor and stay away from my son. Stop hanging all over him as if he’s yours. He belongs to me, and to the woman I happily released him to. That woman is not you.”
I turned to walk away, but heard her speak up. “If that’s a threat, I assume you would like to know my name so you can come after me?”
I swung back around. “Your name doesn’t matter, and just so we’re on the same page, soon, neither will you.”
I caught up with Latrel and Angelique. They found Reggie at the snack stand finishing his nachos and we all left together. Angelique and Latrel said they were getting ready to go back home to get ready and go out, so Reggie and I left them at peace.
Not ready to call it a night, we drove to a nearby bar to have a drink. The bar was kind of crowded with many people who had just come from the game, but we found a cozy booth in the corner. The bar was more like a wooden shack, and country music was playing. Many of the waitresses wore cowboy hats and boots. The food smelled pretty good, so we ordered hot wings and two beers. Before I could take a sip from my mug, my cell phone rang. I answered and it was Roc. I really couldn’t hear because of the music, so I excused myself from the table and went into the bathroom.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. What did you say?” I asked.
“I stopped by your house, twice, but no one was there.”
“Chassidy’s with Monica. I came to Columbia to spend some time with Latrel. I’ll be back Sunday night, so if you want to stop by then, that’s fine. Just call before you come to make sure we’re home.”
“Will do. Tell Latrel I said what’s up and I’ll get at you Sunday.”
Roc hung up and so did I. I hadn’t thought much about him today, and after seeing those hurtful pictures on Facebook, I pushed the thoughts of Roc to the back of my mind. Being with Latrel and Reggie was helping me cope with my feelings for Roc, so I left the bathroom to go join Reggie again. After two plates of hot wings, several margaritas, and six or seven beers, we were laughing and talking as if our lives hadn’t missed a beat.
Reggie held up his frothy beer mug that was filled to the rim. “What are we going to drink to now?”
I held up my margarita glass. “Let’s drink to Latrel and Angelique staying together. Lord knows they are going to need all the prayer they can get!”
“Amen,” Reggie said, clinking his glass with mine. We laughed, and when several people started doing a country western step dance, Reggie got up. I did my best to talk him out of it. Not only because he was half drunk, but because he looked stiff as ever when he danced.
As expected, he made a complete fool of himself. The people in the room stood back and clapped their hands as he tried to do everything from the Stanky Legg to the bump to the Jerk. I covered my face in shame, but laughed my ass off. It was just like old times, when things were going pretty good in our marriage.
“Reggie,” I said in a whisper as he came close to me. “Sit down and stop clowning.”
He took my hand, pulling me up from the booth. Yes, I was pretty messed up too, and after he twirled me around, I really got dizzy. I didn’t know what the hell the bartender had put in our drinks, but it sure had me feeling good. So good, that after the dancing wrapped up, Reggie and I found ourselves back in his hotel room, ripping each other’s clothes off. We couldn’t stop laughing and feeling each other up.
Reggie gripped my ass as I straddled him with no clothes on. “Yo . . . you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to feel you like this again, Dee. Daaaaamn you feel good.”
I was pleased by the feel of his hard meat between my legs too, and when I lifted myself to ease down on his thick pipe, we both let out a sigh of relief. Reggie had always been a decent lover, but I took control of what was transpiring tonight. I fell back on my hands, and worked my hips and ass like a pro. He couldn’t keep up with me, but he used his hands to reach out and massage my wobbling breasts. “Ahhhhh,” he groaned. “Right there, baby. Keep letting me hit it right there.”
Reggie was hitting it all right. And when I got on my hands and knees, he really hit it. He was hitting it so well that I couldn’t help but think of Roc. Only because Reggie’s dick was a few . . . several inches shy of Roc’s mammoth-sized penis. I closed my eyes, imagining that Reggie was Roc and he was giving me all that he could. Lord knows I wanted to scream his name, but all I did was bite down on my lip and close my eyes in deep thought of him.
By morning, Reggie and I were knocked out. We were awakened by hard knocks on the door, and both of our heads snapped up from the plush pillows. My head was banging, my body felt like I’d been in a heavyweight fight and I was wet, as well as sticky between my legs. We’d had a long night, but too bad I couldn’t remember all of it. I reached for a sheet to cover up, while Reggie went to the door. He looked out the peephole, then cracked the door. “I’m still sleeping,” he said. “I’ll put on some clothes and be out in a minute.”
“Can I come in?” I heard Latrel ask. I surely didn’t want him to know that I was in the room with Reggie. I whispered for Reggie not to let him in. I hoped he’d heard me.
“I . . . I’m kind of in the middle of something. Give me about thirty minutes or so. Is everything okay?”
“Not really. But I’ll be in Mom’s room waiting. Let me know when you’re done.”
“I will. Give me a sec. Then we can talk.”
Reggie closed the door and I scrambled around the room to hurry and put on my clothes. So did Reggie. He didn’t want Latrel to know what had gone down either. I looked through the peephole and saw Latrel standing in front of my door, knocking on it. A few minutes later, he knocked on Reggie’s door again. I stood behind Reggie as he cracked the door again.
“What’s up, Latrel?”
“Look, I know if Mama isn’t in her room, she’s with you. Please tell her to come out here so we can talk.”
I rolled my eyes to the back of my head, accepting the fact that we were busted. My hair was a wretched mess, my clothes were wrinkled as ever and they reeked of alcohol. Without saying anything, Reggie stepped away from the door and I walked out. Latrel looked me over, then folded his arms.
“Do you mind if we go inside of your room to talk?” he asked.
“Su . . . sure,” I said, feeling uneasy because, as far as Latrel knew, Reggie and I were supposed to dislike each other. I used the keycard to open the door. As soon as we entered the room, Latrel stood by the door, displaying much attitude.
“Why are you always in my business? Why, Mama? When will the bullshit with you stop?”
“Before I answer any of your questions, let me remind you to watch your tone with me. I may be forty-four years old, and shorter than you, but I can s
till knock you on your butt.”
“You’re forty-three and won’t be forty-four until March, so don’t make yourself sound as if this craziness is beneath you. As for knocking me on my ass, that’s not going to happen. I don’t want to argue with you, but I’m damn mad right now. Just who do you think you are, coming to my school and threatening people? What you said to Jordan was way out of line. You went too damn far and you really hurt her feelings.”
I folded my arms and pursed my lips. “Don’t be so sure about what I can’t do to you. You’d be foolish to underestimate me. As for Miss Jordan, I figured she couldn’t wait to call and tell you about what I’d said. I meant every single word of it, and if your ass don’t wake up, you’re going to mess up a good thing with Angelique. She really loves you, and you’re running around here like you’re a single man. To allow another woman to hang all on you like that, knowing that your wife may be somewhere looking, was very disrespectful. You should’ve told Jordan to back the hell up. But all you did was stand there with glee in your eyes. Shame on you, Latrel, shame on you! I found Angelique in the bathroom, in tears. Crying ’cause her feelings were hurt, and you and I both know that there is more to it. All I’m asking you is to get your act together, before it’s too late. Don’t be like your father, running around at forty-five, still chasing ass. Build a lifetime of happiness with somebody. Have something to show for it and do not let another woman’s sloppy-ass free pussy ruin your dreams for you. If you do, you’d be one big fool.”
Latrel licked his dry lips, then wiped them with his hands. “You know, you sure know how to give advice, but damn sure don’t know how to apply it or take it from others. You can stand there and dog Daddy out, but I bet you wasn’t saying that when you were fucking him, were you? Not only him, but Roc too, right, Mother? How can you stand there and criticize my life, and your life is so fucked up? Whatever Angelique and me are going through we will deal with it. Stay the hell out of my business, or you’re going to find yourself without a son!”
Latrel turned around to open the door, but I reached up and grabbed him by the back of his collar. I pulled tight, almost choking him. “You’re darn right I may be without a son. And if you ever speak to me like that again, you will find yourself six feet under. Now, this isn’t about me or who I’m screwing. It’s about you. Grow the hell up and be the man you told me you were ready to be. Stick to your vows and do right by your wife. As for me, I’m not married to anyone. I will screw any man I wish to, and if you don’t like it, too darn bad. Now, good-bye, Latrel. I’ll keep you in my prayers, and as always, Mama loves you.”
I opened the door for Latrel to leave, and he stormed out of my room. Having nothing else to say, I slammed the door, packed my clothes, and headed for home early. I was mad as hell at Latrel for disrespecting me. He made me seem like some tramp who was running from one man to the next. Is that really how he views me? Or, did he say those things just to get underneath my skin? I hoped that was the case because, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I didn’t want him to view me as some type of confused whore who was torn between two men. That wasn’t the case. Either way, I felt a need to put some space between us. All I was trying to do was help him. He’d need me before I would ever need him. And at the rate he was going, I was sure he’d be calling soon.
Chapter 9
Traveling back down memory lane always had repercussions. Reggie was trying to ease his way back in, but I had already regretted having sex with him, especially without using a condom. He’d been jumping from one woman to the next. I should’ve known better, but when he called to talk about us, and about Latrel, I tried to be cordial.
“We’re not going to discuss Latrel anymore, Reggie, because you always take his side. He was out of line by saying those things to me. He was lucky that he left my room alive.”
“I’m not taking nobody’s side. I do agree with him when he says that you need to stay out of his business, though. You’re too controlling, Dee, and you get upset with people when you don’t get your way. Whether he’s messing around with Jordan or not, it wasn’t your place to confront her. Angelique needs to get a backbone. If she can’t stand up now, Latrel is going to run over her. No man wants a weak woman, and we definitely don’t want women with big mouths, either.”
“Big mouth, little mouth, weak or strong . . . Men will always find an excuse for cheating. I’m no puppet, so take me or leave me. I guess you made your choice. Bottom line is Angelique shouldn’t be put in a position where she has to stand up to no one. Latrel is getting his advice from you and I don’t think that’s a good thing. You say that what I’m doing and saying is wrong, but look at you. He’s going to follow in your footsteps, and eventually, he’ll regret it.”
“That was an insult. You act like I’m the worst person ever, Dee. If I’m that bad, then why did you have sex with me? There must be something about me that’s pretty damn good.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Reggie. Your sex wasn’t all that great. I was thinking about someone else the whole time. Besides, I don’t really remember much about that night, the alcohol had me tripping.”
I had to go there, because whether Reggie admitted it or not, he had taken Latrel’s side. He never saw things my way, and it was because of Reggie that Latrel kept a wall between us. I had done some things to make him uneasy with me too, but Latrel had always been closer to Reggie.
“Woman, please. The way you were hollering and screaming my name that night, I doubt that another man was on your mind. And you’re always tripping. Like you’re tripping right now. I called to have a civil conversation with you, but you’re always going on the attack. All you do is sit back and judge people, trying to make them feel bad so you can feel good.”
My mouth dropped open. I couldn’t believe he had said that. If being factual about someone was judging them, then I guess I was. I was so done with this conversation, but Reggie wasn’t.
“You’ll never keep a man, because you don’t know what is required to keep him. I don’t see how Roc puts up with you and I’m surprised that you’ve kept your hood Negro for this long. Especially since you were the one who used to cringe all the time and hold your nose in the air when I took you to my relatives’ houses. You looked down on all of them, as if they weren’t good enough. You went to the same schools as many of them did, but now you see yourself on a much higher level. Their skin color is the same as yours . . . Some have had struggles just like you, but moving on up to the suburbs made you think you were so much better. There is so much about you, Dee, that you need to correct. The last thing you should be worried about is Latrel. He’s still young and he’s in the process of living and learning. You, on the other hand, will be forty-four in a few more weeks. Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you’re content with who you see. Personally, I think if you open your eyes wide enough, you’ll start to get the picture.”
Reggie waited for me to respond, but I couldn’t. His words had taken the breath out of me, and it was interesting to know how he’d felt. I slowly put the phone down and hung up on him. There was much hurt inside of me, only because I couldn’t accept the person the men in my life were making me out to be. I accepted that men and women viewed things differently, but what was so wrong with me wanting my son to do right by his wife? What was wrong with being bitter at an ex-husband who had treated me as Reggie had? Was it a crime that I didn’t want the man in my life smoking weed, cursing all the time, seeing numerous women, and making a living by shaking and moving? I truly didn’t get it. Maybe my approach wasn’t the best, though, and did I really need to change my way? But then again, why change for people who weren’t willing to change for me? If I died today or tomorrow, Roc would still be doing Roc. Reggie would be doing Reggie, and Latrel . . . I wasn’t so sure about Latrel, but I hoped like hell that he wouldn’t keep his father on a pedestal and aim to be like him.
The big day had finally arrived—my birthday. There was nothing really spectacular about it, but I was thankf
ul to God for blessing me with another year. It seemed as if the holidays or special occasions always brought out the negative, so I decided to do the smart thing for my birthday this year and share it with my best friend. Monica’s daughter was here from California and she had taken the girls, Brea and Chassidy, out with her. Monica and I, however, were at a spa, getting a pedicure and manicure. She sat next to me in one of the comfy white plush leather chairs, paging through a magazine while an Asian woman worked her feet. I was on the phone with Latrel, who had called to wish me a happy birthday.
“You haven’t said much since we last talked, and I hope you’ve accepted my apology for speaking to you the way I did,” he said. “I won’t elaborate more, because I’m sure you don’t feel like going there with me on your birthday. I hope you and Monica are having a good time. Tell her I said hello.”
I forced out the negative thoughts of my disrespectful son, and proceeded on a positive note, because life was too short to hold grudges. “We are having a wonderful time. I’ll tell her you said hello and you tell Angelique the same.”
“Hold on. She wants to speak to you.”
Angelique started to speak. She sounded way more enthused than Latrel did. “Happy Birthday, Mama,” she said. “I hope you got the present we sent you. It should be there today, but if not, Monday for sure.”
“Thanks. I’ll be sure to look out for it. How’s everything going? Is Latrel behaving himself?”
“Yes,” she said, laughing. “He’s better. We’re doing good.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive, and thanks for asking. I . . . I think that little thing you did helped. And when I grow up, I want to be just like you.”
I paused, thinking that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. But, we all knew that I had my issues. “That’s sweet, but know that you can do you much better than you can ever do me. Tell Latrel that I love him and I love you too.”
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