by Unknown
Neal frowned before glancing aside, this time to glare at the wall the table butted up against. For a half-second, Liv felt guilty, but then she remembered why she said it and relaxed, sipping her wine. “It kind of puts me in a worse spot as a result, don’t you think?”
“How can you say that? I was never interested in her, but I sure as heck didn’t like her after what she did to you and me.”
Liv smiled at his outraged expression. “Well, think about it, Neal. She destroyed me to get to you, didn’t she? And, it ended up not working out for her, which means I went through all that humility and grief for nothing.”
Neal shot to his feet, causing Liv to lean back and gaze up at him with a slight amount of intimidation. It was her house, though, and she’d learned a long time ago not to let anyone push or hurt her ever again. She averted her gaze and sipped more wine, not caring how Neal felt about the topic or anything else for that matter.
“Liv,” he said, pacing beside the table and rubbing a fist against a hand before rubbing the back of his neck. He stopped and faced her, but it was another minute before he said anything. Setting both palms atop the table, he leaned forward and stared at her, drawing her attention to him with little effort. “I’ll never be able to make it up to you, no matter what I say or do, I know that. I still can’t believe it even happened.”
“The kiss or the consequences of your actions? Both?”
He gritted his teeth and stood up, rubbing his palm with a fist again. “Both,” he managed before turning aside, hiding his guilty expression. She could tell her attitude wasn’t pleasing to him, and even though she kind of felt like she was cutting off her nose to spite her face, Liv also felt completely justified to say and do all the things she had only ever been able to dream about saying and doing. Revenge was sweet, but only up to a point she was starting to realize. Did Neal even deserve any of the blame for what happened back then?
“It was a stupid, impulsive thing to do,” he hissed, facing her again and sliding a hand through his thick mane.
“I liked it.” Liv smiled at the way his back stiffened and he stood perfectly still for a few seconds before relaxing again. Then he flashed a wry smile that lit up his face, making her giggle.
“The kiss, you mean.”
She nodded while sipping more wine. “I don’t blame you for anything, either.”
“Serious?” He returned to his seat across from her and rested a bent arm below his plate, his eyes bright with wonder. “You really don’t hold anything against me?”
Liv shook her head and set the glass down, folding her arms on the table and leaning toward him. “I was flattered, Neal. Then, I realized you must have been high or delusional to have done it. I remember what I looked like back then, and how awful I had to dress in public. At least I was allowed to shower and bathe,” she said and more to herself than him, wagging her head as she glanced aside at the memory of the day they mentioned. “My hair and body were clean, and so were those out-dated rags, but she used to make it a point of holding her nose any time we passed each other in the hallway. Of course, her cronies all laughed.” Realizing she was talking to herself again, she eyed Neal with embarrassment, blushing when he exhaled quiet laughter. “Maybe I smelled like turpentine, having just come from the art department?”
Neal shook his head. “You smelled the way you looked to me. Like heaven.”
“Cute,” she droned. “You’ve been there to know how it smells?”
Still smiling, Neal shook his head. “In a round-about way, I suppose you could say I have been . . . when you walked into my life and changed it in an instant.”
“Changed it,” she grumbled. “How so?”
Grabbing his wine, Neal winked before taking a sip.
Uncomfortable with the direction of their conversation, Liv rose from the table and took their plates to the sink. After setting them down, she turned to face Neal. “I think I just figured out how to solve my problem.”
“Problem?”
“Yes,” she said on her way back to the table. “If I tell you everything about myself, it’s going to discourage you. It’ll dispel the wrong impression you’ve got of me, too.”
“I doubt that,” he said and grinned at her. He gestured to her wine glass and she shook her head.
“One is my limit,” she admitted. “Help yourself, though.”
Neal grabbed both glasses and the wine bottle, following her as she headed to a balcony that looked out over the lake. They sat on wicker furniture between a small, round table and watched the sun slowly sink into the water. It was late June, and the season had started earlier than normal for the area. The lake was like bath water now the heat wave caused frequent storms. Still, summertime in the area always assured fun-filled days and relaxing nights for a heat-seeker like Liv.
Neal reached inside a breast pocket and removed a pack of cigars. “Do you mind?”
Liv shook her head and returned her attention to the pink, peach, and purple of the sky, the colorful sight created by a large, red sunset. There were still a few charter and leisure craft on the water, with the last of the sailboats making their way back to shore.
Neal lit a thin cigar and exhaled a puff of fragrant smoke. “This is a beautiful place you’ve got here, Liv.”
“Thanks,” she said. “I like it a lot.”
“Then stay. There’s no reason for you to have to leave. At least not on my account. I won’t tell anyone if that’s what you’re worried about.”
She giggled and slid her hands under her thighs before glancing at him. He smiled at her, and she took a moment to study him. His square jaw, wide mouth with blood red lips, a long, somewhat broad nose, and the dark brows that nearly hung over his almond-shaped, jade eyes. The thick mane of wavy hair she had to resist wanting to run her fingers through as much as she had to resist wanting to press her lips against his the way he had done eight years ago. He suddenly resembled an animal; a feline-like look about him. Puma? Jaguar? Some type of large cat lazing about after a hunt.
“They weren’t my real parents,” Liv said and looked away after Neal lifted a curious brow. “I didn’t know that until after they died, though.” She lowered her gaze and stretched out a leg, absently eyeing her painted toenails. There was no fear or shame in what she was about to tell him, and even if it wasn’t any of his business, she still believed that by being up front with him that he would turn and walk away. It was what she thought she wanted him to do. Avoiding his limelight remained imperative to her way of thinking.
“They were awful people,” she said. “Old and stupid and in a strange relationship for whatever illegal reason. She did nothing but spend her days drinking, then bitch, harass, and put him down after he got home from work. He was cold and harsh, always finding fault with me while she showed nothing but contempt and annoyance for us both. The reason I won’t eat out is because I caught her spitting and dropping cigarette ashes into the meals she burned, over-salted, and threw together regardless of the ingredients. I ended up living on milk, bread, and anything in plastic wrap as long as I felt it was safe from her devious plans to try and poison us.”
“Liv,” Neal said, frowning as he gazed at her in subdued amazement. “I’m sorry. I had no idea –.”
“Don’t apologize,” she interrupted, able to smile but not look him in the eye. “It’s all in the past. They’re dead and gone mentally, too. After what happened to him because of what happened to me that day, she turned into a bigger bitch and started accusing me of murder. One day his sister stopped by, but I’d been confined to my room, which was why I never went back to school. Not that I wanted to go back; after what Heather had posted online, but whatever. That woman came into my room with a bag of used clothing my fake aunt brought over and she dumped them over my head, telling me it was my shopping trip for the next few years.” Liv paused to laugh under her breath, gently lifting her foot up and down as she spoke. “She thought the aunt had left, but she was standing in the doorway and saw e
verything, so she took me home with her.”
“Thank God,” Neal groaned, exhaling slowly.
Liv smiled at him and shook her head, making him wince. “I thought so too, until I realized she just wanted a maid . . . and the money I had coming to me. But, I got to go back to school in a new town with new people who didn’t know me. I didn’t have to go to court during that case, either. The family lawyer turned out to be my real Godsend. She made sure I received the insurance money and my jury award so that the aunt wasn’t able to get her hands on any of it. As soon as I graduated, I took that money and ran, but not before that aunt got fed up with not being able to spend any of the money she’d obviously been counting on. She told me the truth about my life. That her brother found a great job in America and left Hungary when he was forty-two. The woman wasn’t his wife at the time but just wanted to get out of Hungary. She was thirty-nine and disillusioned after her long-time lover refused to leave his wife and kids. Anyway, the story goes that they snatched me off a park playground, thinking it would help to have a child with them after having a fake marriage.”
“Christ,” Neal groaned. “How old were you?”
Liv shrugged. “Two? Three? I don’t remember anything about Hungary or my real parents, so I really couldn’t say. The attorney offered to look into it for me, saying I deserved to at least know my birth date.”
“Have you ever done a search? Maybe there was news about your kidnapping.”
Liv lifted her shoulders and smiled at her toes. “I’ve thought about it, but I need to know it’s worth discovering the truth first. Do I really want to find out about my past, and do I really need to let those people know I’m alright if, in fact, they even noticed or cared that I went missing.”
“I’m sure they cared. Still, you’re smart to think the way you do. It’s good to be careful and a little cautious about some things. If you don’t mind my saying, it sounds like that woman who claimed to be your mother would always be disillusioned and that’s why she behaved as she had. It would also explain your so-called father’s lack of interest. You can’t be blamed in either case, and I hope you don’t have deep enough scars to make you think hiding from the world is because you feel unworthy of the attention.”
“I adored people at one point,” she said, smiling shyly even as her eyes began to fill with tears. “I was desperate for friendship, but as I got older and the kids began to make fun of the way I dressed, and because those two wouldn’t let me have anyone over or let me go anywhere, I ended up being alone and extremely lonely. Which is why I couldn’t believe it when you kissed me. I probably should have slapped you or kicked you in the nuts, but I was too stunned to think.”
Neal laughed softly and she quickly glanced at him, wanting to see him smile again. His pretty eyes focused on the setting sun, which was half in and half out of the water.
“I have friends now Neal, and a life. I’m happy with the way things turned out, and I was content to be on my own with no chance of having anyone from the past find me. I’ll admit to being socially inept, but that isn’t why I want to remain anonymous. It used to worry me that we ended up in the same line of work, but I always figured you’d go your way and I’d go mine. As long as I remained reclusive, there was no way we’d ever bump into each other. You might like to be in the spotlight, attend parties, and have your picture posted online every week, but after what I went through, the thrill just isn’t there for me.”
Neal winced and took a deep breath. “Is that why you avoid social media?” He laughed and then quickly apologized. “I’m not poking fun; it just struck me as odd that your website only offered an email address. Most people use Twitter and the like to get noticed, but not you. At least it makes sense now.”
“I’ve done well without it,” she admitted, feeling good about his response after Neal had exhaled a laughing yeah and nodded.
“I’ll say,” he added. “You’ve recorded with just about every major group I can think of off the top of my head and a few legends as well.” He eyed her funny, making her laugh. “Everyone except for me, that is.”
“Because you want what I don’t give. Everyone I work with agrees to my terms, and those who don’t simply walk away. It makes no difference to me as long as I remain in the shadows with zero public recognition. I don’t need to explain to you about how nosy the media are, do I? The last thing I need is to have them poking into my past on account of associating with you.”
“Maybe we can work something out then,” he droned, crushing the cigar in a stone ashtray on the table between them. “I’ll need to go over your terms again. And I understand how you feel, believe me. But, it doesn’t discourage me from wanting to be with you, Liv. It might be the thing you need to break out of your shell; to have us go through the experience together.”
Liv stared at him in amazement, having thought he would want nothing to do with her after the things she’d just told him. What he offered was more than she could have bargained for, and while it sounded tempting, she shook her head in response and turned to face the sunset, letting the sadness of her predicament consume her.
Chapter 5
That night, Neal lay atop the floral print sofa in the parlor, stripped to his navy boxer shorts. His body was slightly longer than his temporary bed, with his big feet crossed at the ankles beyond the arm of the sofa, and with his fingers clasped together atop his head, which extended beyond the other end. While gazing at the ceiling, he thought some more about everything he had just learned about Liv Beckman; the girl he still had a crush on after eight years.
From her sandy blonde hair that fell in natural curls to her shoulder blades to the dark green of her enchanting, almond-shaped eyes, the button nose, and a small mouth with full, pink lips above a slightly diamond-tip chin, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen before. Liv was right about his having been in the spotlight for a few years now, and Neal had met and dated a few famous women in his time, but even the most famous among them never seemed to measure up. Liv had managed to set the bar for his expectations, and since seeing her in school that day, he had yet to find another quite like her. No woman had done for him what she managed to do without even trying.
Remembering what it felt like to see her at the studio that afternoon caused his body to stiffen and heat up with desire just as it had done eight years ago. That feeling caused him to shift with growing discomfort, but he continued to smile at the memory.
She was taller than he remembered, reaching his shoulders instead of his chest, and the chipmunk cheeks he thought were adorable weren’t there anymore, but even after having shed a few pounds Liv remained as attractive as ever. She was a woman who had filled out nicely in all the right places. Long legs he ached to smooth his hands along in the flesh, shapely hips he constantly thought about having pressed against his groin, a slim waist and large enough breasts to make her stand out in a crowd, though Neal believed she had plenty of reasons to attract attention besides great tits, a pretty face, and awesome hair.
She’s cute. Honest, confident, and pulled-together despite all the crap she’s been through in the past. With his body in major distress now, Neal rose from the sofa and closed his eyes while rubbing his throbbing forehead. With an unsatisfied groan, he left the sofa and stiffly made his way back to the balcony they had shared a few hours ago. The moonless night offered a spectacular view of an unfettered sky, and Neal stargazed for a few seconds when thoughts of Liv returned to distract him again.
Leaning against the railing, he faced the French doors and rubbed the back of his neck. The urge to go upstairs and crawl into Liv’s bed was strong. Folding his arms at his chest, Neal frowned at the nasty thoughts roaming around inside his head. Flashes of Liv in the raw kept appearing before his mind’s eye, and he was too tired to chase them away. Then it drifted to a vivid image of her naked body beneath him in that bed.
Narrowing his eyes, he turned aside his head and yawned, and then he frowned at the wood slats beneath
his bare feet. He had already told her that his intentions were honorable, and he wanted to believe it himself, but as the minutes turned to hours and Liv remained close enough to touch, that promise was becoming difficult to want to keep.
She’d never forgive me. He turned toward the water and gripped the wooden railing with both hands, liking the way the cool night air helped to subdue the heat radiating off his aroused body. He liked that thinking about Liv aroused him to such a degree, and despite the discomfort, it still felt good to be this close to her even if he wasn’t able to do anything besides imagine. The cool lake breeze wasn’t enough to calm him down entirely, and taking a shower at two a.m. was probably a bad idea. I don’t think she even likes me. At least not the way I like her.
“Can’t sleep?”
Startled to hear Liv’s voice, Neal turned and saw her standing in the open doorway. She looked amazing in a short, yellow t-shirt that glowed in the dark. After his eyes feasted on the word Puma that swelled across her taut breasts, he struggled to rip his gaze away so that he could finally get a glimpse of the bared legs he’d had on his mind since he saw her at the studio.
A gift from the gods. Without thinking or caring, Neal left the railing, slid an arm about her cinched waist, and he gazed with longing into her wide, dark eyes.
“Let me love you,” he breathed before dipping forward and pressing his lips against her half-opened mouth. If it was possible for the moment to feel any better than it had the first time he acted on impulse, Neal didn’t care and moaned softly with rekindled desire. He set his other hand behind her head, letting his fingers become entangled in the silken locks. Feeling her fingers touch the sides of his waist caused him to flinch and gasp for air, which made him smile as he continued with the kiss.
Liv turned aside her head to better accommodate his advance, and their lips parted at the same time. His tongue entered her mouth, making her moan before he did. She could feel the increased pressure of the hand he still had against the small of her back, and when her body became molded with his, an involuntary shiver raced through her to feel how stiff he was for her.