While the rest of the girls in my program were going out and getting drunk on the weekends, I was living with my Ma and big sister, studying from two types of books. Nursing text books and What to Expect in your pregnancy and beyond books.
The hard work and sacrifice paid off though, because I graduated the top of my class and had my little boy cheering me on at graduation.
When Joel and I both landed our first jobs fresh out of college at the same hospital, I started to see him in a different light. And I don’t mean the nasty fluorescents that line the hospital halls either. He wasn’t the most exciting guy, or the most handsome, but he was kind and respectful. He knew that Chris was Mack’s boy, but he never treated him like anything other than a son.
When Chris turned three, we had a small wedding. Joel adopted Chris and it all felt so perfect at the time. Of course, six years ago, I had no way of knowing that Joel would be killed in a car accident and that Mack would move back to Colorado.
Maybe Ma can look after Chris while I get this shit sorted out with his school? I cringe to think of asking my fifty-six-year-old mother to look after the child who exhausts me in my twenties. My sister is still living with her though, so it’s not like I’d be tossing her to the wolves. Besides, Chris could use the firm hand of guidance in his life that helped raise me.
Wait a minute.
“Who’s Hannah?” The name my son dropped earlier finally bubbles up through my swamp of thoughts.
Chris looks across the car at me with Mack’s signature smile pasted to his face. “She’s, uh, Mr. Vaughn’s daughter,” he admits looking up at me from under the brim of his cap again.
I swallow my smile, I don’t want to encourage him, but I know it’s too late. A laugh bursts from my throat as I shake my head. If I don’t laugh at this ridiculous hand I’ve been dealt, I’m gonna cry.
Like father, like son they say.
Lord, help me.
13
Mack
2014
“Ok, so don’t forget you can’t just stand still on this, but I also don’t want you going into an all-out sprint right now either,” Lauren’s still lecturing me. She’s been pretending that there’s nothing between us except a nurse and patient relationship all morning.
What Ms. Professional doesn’t realize is I’ve noticed as her gaze has licked every inch of my body. I caught how her eyes hovered over the bulge in my shorts. She might be doing a good job fooling the staff with her little show, but I lost my leg, not my eyesight. She’ll have to do a lot better than that to pull the wool over these baby blues.
“Just a jog, I’ve got it.” I interrupt and she gives me a sharp look. I know she hates me brushing her off like that, but I’ve been waiting a long damned time to get this carbon-fibre blade and I don’t want to sit on the sidelines of the track listening to instructions on how to run.
I know how to run.
“Yes, just a jog.” She answers sternly, double knotting the bright blue laces in her sneakers. “And I’ll do this first lap with you, so you can tell me if you have any problems, ok?”
I hop off the bench and am surprised by the springy response of the blade. In that small movement, I already feel lighter and faster, and I haven’t walked a step yet. “You got it.” I throw three fingers up to my brow in a sloppy salute and her nose gets these cute little crinkles on it as she frowns at me. Her gloss covered bottom lip sticks out just a little in a tiny pout.
God, how I want to just pull that lip in between my teeth and give it a little nip. I want to feel the heat of her breath on my skin as I make her cry out my name. Somehow I manage to direct my gaze back to the track and decide I’ll put this pent up energy into our little run instead of thinking about Lauren’s sexy round ass that she’s purposely showing off in a pair of skin tight yoga pants. Or her full, perky tits barely contained by her low cut tank top.
Like I said, she’s not fooling me with her little act.
Even though I’m eager to get out for the first run on my blade, I fall behind Lauren, just a bit. I mean, there’s no point in letting that sweet view go to waste now is there? When I left for the military, she was only a few months into adulthood. I remember her at eighteen, she was undeniably beautiful even if her body was still a bit lanky and a little awkward.
Now, at twenty-eight, she’s a goddess. Her frame has filled out with curves that would make a priest snap his neck taking a second look. It makes it hard to concentrate when all I can think of is how much better we’d both be in bed now that we’ve got some experience behind us.
As we stand side-by-side on the track, Lauren twists her arms out behind her in the world’s most unnecessary stretch. You know, you’ve really gotta limber up those shoulder muscles for a light jog. What’s next? Some downward dog yoga poses? That’s probably the most practical way to stretch her legs out, right? Regardless, I soak in the show she’s putting on for me with her tits pushed out toward me as her back arches.
I’m not totally sure what her game is yet. It’s clear to me that she wants me to notice her. And, well, she can check off that little box on the list. Done and done! On the other hand, she’s been distant and cold with me. I can’t decide if she wants to enjoy the chase, or if she still needs some space after losing her husband last year.
Enough racking my brain over it. If she wants me running around in circles for her while she gets some kind of kicks out of it, then she can get a taste of her own medicine right here on this track. “On your mark, get set, go!” I yell out and burst into a stride.
“Mack! I said a jog!” She yells behind me, annoyance dripping from her words. I hear her feet hitting the track not far behind me as she tries to keep up.
I love the crackle of the pine needles spread out over the track beneath me. My foot and my blade pound against the pavement, competing with my heart to see which can beat harder. The sweet smell of nature’s decay reaches my nostrils, and I breathe it deep into my lungs. It reminds me that not all death is painful and horrible, sometimes it can be beautiful.
Suddenly Lauren pulls ahead of me, ripping me from my thoughts and giving me a new singular focus: to win.
Arms pumping at my sides, the muscles in my thighs twitch and pulse as I push myself to catch up. The cool spring air clouds my breath around me like a locomotive picking up steam as I reach her heels. There's no way I'm going to let her get past me that easy.
I’ve missed going for runs. I love how my focus narrows to one mission. The war, my men, my leg ... it's all miles away as my attention lasers down to the simplest of goals: run. It reminds me of the many mornings that Lauren and I would race each other for the last hundred yards of our walk to elementary school when we were kids. Our backpacks thumping against our backs, mud splattering against our shoes, despite our mother's warnings to stay tidy. Simplicity was the fabric of my life back then, patterned with rich colors and textured with deep emotions that all seem to drain away as we age.
Her spandex covered ass jiggles a little each time her feet hit the ground. It’s hypnotic. I enjoy the view for a minute before pulling up beside her. She quickly looks over her shoulder at me and, I almost run out of breath. Not because I’m winded. But because, for the first time since I’ve seen her again, she’s smiling. Her smile is like a radiant beacon of hope guiding me from the darkness. How did I ever walk away from that smile? One thing is certain, I won’t be making that mistake again.
Lauren’s focus returns to the track and I concentrate on trying to pull out ahead of her. I pull deep breaths into my lungs and dig deep to propel myself forward even faster. We’re neck and neck, I can smell her on the wind.
“BOOM!”
The sound of an IED exploding fills the air and terror grips my heart. “Watch out!” Instinctively, I hurl myself at Lauren, tackling her to the ground and covering her with my body like a blanket.
“What the fuck!?” she screams as she thuds against the track.
I duck my head down beside hers, tucking my chi
n in against her shoulder and hold her tight. The track disappears and sand appears around me. I watch as metal fragments, dirt and body parts fly through the air around us as buzzing swarms my ears.
“Mack? Mack! MACK! What the hell are you doing?”
I blink slowly and the scene fades into the Colorado spring. The buzzing dies down and disappears, and instead I can hear birds chirping from the tree branches. Beneath me, Lauren looks like she can’t decide if she’s angry or scared. Her mouth is twisted up to the side but her eyes are open wide.
“Mack, what are you doing?” she asks again, but this time the fear is gone from her voice and instead there is a raspy tinge to her tone.
I realize that I’m lying on top of her, her legs are open around mine. Her tits are heaving against my chest. I can feel the heat from her pussy against my cock. Suddenly, Afghanistan feels like another lifetime.
“Sorry, I wiped out.” I lie. “I guess I’m not ready for an all out race on this thing yet,” I nod my head back toward my blade.
Lauren bites her lip and looks solemnly in my eyes, nodding slowly. I’m not sure if she buys my excuse, but right now I think she’s a bit preoccupied. I can feel her heart beating wildly in her ribcage. She looks over my face like she’s studying it, her eyes finally resting on my lips, like she’s willing them to kiss her.
“That’s ok,” she murmurs. I feel her roll her hips up against mine, the movement is small, but undeniable. My cock throbs as blood rushes into it. She still hasn’t made any effort to push me off of her or even to tell me to move.
I bring my face closer, hovering my lips over hers while I press my cock against her. She lets out a soft gasp and her eyes close. It’s too much for me. I press my mouth into hers, kissing her urgently. My tongue traces her bottom lip and quickly finds hers. They barely have a chance to reunite when from the waistband on her yoga pants, I can feel a buzzing against my abs.
I pull back and glance down. Her phone. Fuck her phone. I want to pull her tank top down and lick her perfect tits until she quivers for me, begging me to make her mine. I want to fuck her tight little pussy again and push this stupid buzzing phone up against her clit until she comes.
“Mack, I’ve got to answer that. You’ve got to move.” Her words are unconvincing, like she’s asking me a question instead of making a demand.
“Are you sure?”
14
Lauren
2014
I’m not sure.
Of anything.
I’m not sure why I’m laying on the ground, wishing Mack would rip my clothes open and have his way with me in broad daylight. I’m not sure why I ended up here in the first place. I heard a car backfire and then it felt like Mack heaved me to the grass on the side of the track.
He said something about losing control on his blade, but I really want him to lose control of more than that. I want to feel the soft heat of his mouth taste every inch of my body. I want his lips back on mine. I want his fingers entwined with my own as the growing erection between his legs reminds me of what it feels like to be properly fucked.
His eyes have me locked in place. I wouldn’t move, even if he wasn’t lying on top of me. Even Joel never looked at me that way. Mack is the only man that has ever been able to make my skin raw and hungry to be touched.
My waistband starts vibrating again, like an angry bag of hornets that won’t be ignored. My dreamlike fog erodes around me as reality snaps back into focus. I need to get up. I need to answer the phone. I need to get this session back on track.
“It’s ringing again. I really need to answer it, Mack.” My voice is clear this time as I regain my senses. He doesn’t try to convince me otherwise. He never would. Instead, Mack rolls to the side and stands back up, extending his hand down to me to help me to my feet. Such a gentleman.
Sort of.
I brush the dirt and blades of grass off my ass and look up toward the hospital. I hope none of the other staff witnessed our little moment. I’m not sure I could ever explain it to anyone. I’m not even sure I can explain it to myself.
Mack smirks at me as I try to compose myself. “Don’t worry, Lauren. No one saw anything,” he answers my unasked question. Even after all these years, it’s like he can read my thoughts. “Besides, even if they did, just tell them I wiped out and had a hard time getting back up. No biggie,” he shrugs nonchalantly.
My heart sinks a little at his indifference. I didn’t expect Mack to stand up and profess his undying love for me or anything, but I thought that our kiss was more than “no biggie”.
The persistent vibration of my cellphone against my stomach reminds me that I don’t have time to stand here and over analyze what’s happening between me and Mack. I pull the black phone out from the edge of my pants and see my sister, Chelsea, is calling. Before I have a chance to swipe my thumb across the screen and answer, the buzzing stops and her number disappears.
Suddenly the call history pops up on my screen and I see that she’s already tried to get a hold of me five times in the past fifteen minutes. Wow. How did I miss that? That’s the power Mack has always had over me, when he looks at me time erases itself from history. When he touches me, even if it’s just from stumbling on his new running blade, the world and everyone in it ceases to exist.
Since we were just young and innocent children, I’ve been drawn to Mack like the ocean waves are drawn to the moon. Now that we’re adults, those waves are quickly rising up into a tsunami, and I’m either going to be crushed by the force or swept away.
Bzzzzzz. My hand trembles as my phone goes off again, shaking me back to the present. It’s Chelsea again. Something serious is going on. I hope mom is ok! I swipe my screen and stick my finger against my ear so I can hear her clearly. Not that Mack is being noisy. He hasn’t uttered a word. It’s just that his very presence is distracting, so I need to give my senses a leg up.
“Hello?”
“Lauren? Oh, thank God I got you. I’ve been calling for almost twenty minutes!” She sounds breathless but the background is eerily quiet.
“Sorry, I couldn’t answer before.” I lie. “What’s going on? Is mom ok?”
“Mom? Yeah, she’s fine. No, it isn’t mom. Listen, you’ve got to come home right now! It’s Chris. No, don’t come home. That’s stupid, just go get him …”
“Chris?” I almost forgot that I still need to spend my lunch hour trying to call around to see if I can get him placed in another school for the rest of the year. “Is he giving you guys a hard time? Tell him that I’m gonna put his bike on Craigslist if he doesn’t behave. I’m tired of this nonsense with him.”
He loves that bike. I always use it as my hail Mary when he gets too far out of control.
“Lauren! Listen to me! Chris took off with a couple of boys earlier. I told mom not to let him out of the house, but you know what she’s like. As soon as I went to take a shower, she let him go.”
Of course she did. Where was that soft touch when she was raising us? That woman had no problem introducing my butt to the flat side of her hairbrush when I got smart with her, but here she is letting my expelled son go out with his friends.
“Alright, do you know where he is? I’ll call around and tell him to get his ass back there. He knows better than to pull a fast one like this.” What am I going to do with him? Every day it seems like he’s getting further out of my control.
“Yes, I know. Lauren, you need to leave work and go get him. The cops picked him up! Chris is in jail.” Her voice cracks as my mind breaks into fragments.
“Jail?” The word barely comes out as a whisper, but Mack tilts his head and locks me with his eyes. “What do you mean he’s in jail? He’s nine years old! What the hell is going on?” I can feel myself losing my battle against composure.
“Lauren, I don’t know what’s going on. I just know that Chris left here with a group of boys a few hours ago. Then the cops called and said a parent needs to go pick him up. He’s being held at the jail and they’re lo
oking at charges.”
Charges? Jail? Chris isn’t just spinning out of control. He’s fucking spun out of orbit.
“I’ll be right there. I’m leaving now.”
Shit.
15
Lauren
2014
Chelsea was wrong about the location. Chris isn’t serving hard time in prison. Not yet anyway. However, she wasn’t wrong about the police picking him up. I pull into the Aurora police department and double check that I’ve got my wallet, keys and phone in my bag before I summon the courage to leave my car.
The officer on the phone wouldn’t discuss what he’d been picked up for with me, she only instructed me to come down and get him. From her tone, I could tell that she probably thought I was some kind of stereotype. Just another black woman picking her son up from the cops. I can’t help but wonder if my son wasn’t black if I’d still be coming down here. I guess I’m about to find out what Chris did that was so terrible that they’re holding a nine-year-old in custody. Part of me is already boiling up with indignant outrage, but another part keeps whispering: what if this isn’t about the color of his hands, but whatever he did with them?
I nervously open the large double doors leading into the building and walk over to the Admissions Officer. She looks unimpressed as I make my way over to her station, greeting me with an arched eyebrow.
“Hi, I’m Chris Brickman’s mother. I’m here to pick him up, please.” I hold my purse strap on my shoulder to give my hands something to do.
The officer settles her blue eyes on me and her pale lips turn down. “I figured.” She types something into the computer and then picks up her phone without uttering another word to me.
Quickies Page 24