“He mentioned the troubles you’ve been having with your son, and now with this adjustment you’ll need to make to your program, I don’t see a problem with you having a few days leave. I just wish you would’ve let me know that you were having issues. That’s what I’m here for.” He catches my eye quickly, but I can’t see any sincerity in him.
“Well, that’s very kind of you,” I answer through clenched teeth. Who the fuck does Mack think he is? First he follows me into the medical closet and almost gets me fired, then he tries to fix it by spilling secrets about my family? I’m fucking unimpressed. “However, I won’t be needing any time off. I have everything under control, I can assure you.” I hiss out my words.
“No need to thank me,” Dr. Galt steamrolls over me. Did he actually listen to anything I just said? “I’m hoping that on your extra days off that I’m granting, you’ll be able to speak with Captain Forrester and remind him of how well he was treated here? Just in case he has any hard feelings from our little outburst this morning.” He doesn’t wait for me to answer. Instead, he rolls his chair back and pulls out a drawer on his desk, clearly searching for something.
“I can assure you that I’ll definitely be speaking to Captain Forrester.” I nod. I won’t tell him that I will most certainly be giving Mack a piece of my mind, but that I have no intention of being a walking infomercial for Spalding.
“That would be appreciated,” he reaches into his drawer and shuffles around, pulling out a pink piece of construction paper. “Here, do you mind giving this to him? It’s from my daughter. I was supposed to give it to him the day he arrived, but I must have forgotten.” He slides the homemade card across the desk to my fingertips.
I pick it up and look at the sprawling message written by a child’s hand. It has a picture of what I assume is Mack on the front with hearts around him. Inside she wrote, “Thank u. My hero!” My hand trembles a little as my throat feels like it’s closing down. I struggle to dam up the flood of tears threatening to fall.
I’m not sure what’s sadder, the fact that my boss didn’t care enough about the card his daughter made to do anything but stuff it in a drawer, or the fact that he’s only now trying to have it delivered so he can try to manipulate Mack into caring about this stupid hospital. My heart breaks for a little girl I’ve never met.
“Sure, I’ll pass it along,” I mumble, never taking my eyes off the card.
“Fantastic, ok, well enjoy your days off!” He dismisses me and I stand up, making my way to the door. “And, Ms. Brickman?”
“Yes?” I turn and look back at him.
“Just remember how very differently this meeting could have gone today when you’re talking to him. Ok?” His eyes narrow and my skin prickles with rage.
“I will.” I answer simply and walk out into the hall.
What a fucking douche.
30
Lauren
2014
I know I should head straight to mom’s and pick up Chris. However, I turn up my street instead. I just need some down time to figure everything out. Nothing crazy. Just, like, an hour to get my head on straight about everything that’s happened today. I slow to a crawl as I drive up to my house. Chelsea’s silver SUV is parked in my driveway.
So much for that idea.
I could just keep driving. I could go until the car runs out of gas, or my heart runs out of rage, or I finally figure this mess out.
I pull in at my house and throw the car in park. Running away never solves anything. I’ve learned that the hard way. Reaching over to the passenger seat, I grab my purse and look at the pink paper card I tossed on there when I left Spalding. There’s no real point in giving it to Mack, he’ll see through Galt’s pathetic attempts at manipulation a mile away.
I sigh as my eyes travel over the drawing on the front. The effort and detail her young hands put into drawing each shaky heart. No, screw that. I will give it to him. Not because I care about my boss and his games, but because someone needs to care about the little girl who worked so hard to make this for Mack.
Grabbing the card, I head into the house to see why Chelsea’s here. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.
“She’s here! She’s here!” My son’s cries can be heard through my living room window as I walk by it.
Stepping inside, I can see Chris hopping around with excitement. Chelsea is on the couch sipping a coffee. If she only knew what Mack and I were doing on that couch last night, she wouldn’t be sitting there. She’d probably go shower in some Lysol.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I look at my sister.
“We’re going to Elitch Gardens! And a hotel! It’s gonna be awesome!” Chris practically vibrates in his skin.
“What?” I raise my eyebrows at Chelsea, but she just sips her coffee in response. Her eyes are twinkling at me. She’s up to something.
“Good afternoon, beautiful.” Mack struts in from the kitchen holding a mug that says “Supermom” on it. He’s not the only one who gets to have a comic book alias. Although, I don’t think kids will be saving up their allowance to buy the latest supermom editions any time soon.
What is he doing here? Just walking around my house like he’s been there all his life. He holds out the mug to me. “Here you go, with a dash of milk. Just like you like it.” His signature smirk is pasted to his face.
“Aww, isn’t that sweet?” Chelsea chimes in. “Lauren, why don’t you pour that in a travel mug so we can get this show on the road. I don’t want to get stuck in rush hour traffic.” My big sister bosses me around in her signature style.
“Where are you driving? What’s going on?” I wrap my fingers around the warmth of the mug, ignoring Mack for the time being.
“Elitch Gardens! We’re gonna go on all the rides, and sleep in a hotel, and get room service too! Right Mack?” Chris jumps around like a kid on Christmas morning. If that kid was on meth.
“Whoa? What?” My eyes flicker from my hyper child to his hot-headed father. “Mack, can I talk to you for a sec?” I put the coffee down on my mantle and walk through the kitchen and out the sliding door into the backyard. I don’t check to see if he’s following. I know he’s not stupid enough to stay behind.
“Aww! Why are they talking?” Chris whines inside.
“Just give them a minute, honey.” My sister consoles him as Mack slides the door shut behind us.
Suddenly, his arms slide around me and he hugs me from behind. “I wanted to surprise you with a little treat.” He murmurs in my ear and I instinctively rest my head back against his chest. “I know today was pretty stressful for you, so I booked us a couple rooms at the Four Seasons and got us some passes at Elitch. I figure a little R & R will be good for you. Chelsea is going to share a room with Chris, so I’m going to have two days in a hotel with you to do whatever I want.” His voice grows thick with desire.
I flutter my eyes closed for a moment and feel the tension ease from my shoulders. Dr. Galt’s stupid face pops into my head and my tendons practically snap as the stress winds me back up. “Mack, you can’t just spring things like this on me and call my boss and demand he give me days off.” I pull away from him and turn to face him. “Today was ridiculous, I could’ve gotten fired you know. And you taking off and not answering my texts or calls was a pretty shitty thing to do to me. What were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t thinking, I was reacting. I wasn’t going to let that asshole threaten your job because of me. I know I didn’t handle it the best.”
“Didn’t handle it the best? Mack you can’t just do whatever pops into your mind. We’re adults now, you have to act like one sometimes. I’m not sure what’s going on with you. And then you just make plans with Chris and Chelsea without even talking to me? How did you think that was gonna go over?” My teeth are clenched together so tight that my jaw hurts.
Mack stands straighter as he squares off his shoulders and looks into my eyes. “I know today was a shit show, Lauren. I fucked up.”
I ca
n feel the anger begin to drain from my body along with my energy. “Look, I don’t want to fight with you. The truth is, I’m worried about you. Chris told me about what happened at the grave the other night,” I lower my voice and touch his hand gently.
Anger flashes in his eyes. Mack pulls his hand away. “I’m fine.” he answers tersely.
“Are you sure? Cause you know it would be understandable if you needed a little help. You’ve been through a lot. More than any of us can imagine. Chris has only been going to his group therapy sessions twice now and look how much it’s helped him. Maybe you can find a group …”
“I said I’m fine.” He juts out his chin and clenches his fists at his side. I can see him struggling with his demons and his temper. I’m not sure if he can win this battle though. Mack takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. When he opens them, the rage has passed and sorrow has crept into it’s place.
“I know that I haven’t always dealt with everything the best, ok? But I’m fine. Just let me deal with things the best way for me. Anyway, I wanted to say sorry for the way things happened today. That’s why I wanted to make it right and treat you guys to a few days of fun. I thought it would be nice to spend time together as a family.” His crystal blue eyes scan my face as my anger and my forgiveness battle it out.
“A family?” I mumble, his eyes holding me in place.
“Yeah, you, me, Chris. Our family. I asked Chelsea to come because I don’t have a car and still need to learn to drive with my leg,” he looks down at his prosthetic wearily. “And she agreed to come along and help look after Chris. Now we can start making up for some lost time together. We don’t have to hide our relationship anymore, since I left Spalding. It’s all good.”
My mind keeps dancing around the word “family”. It’s something I’ve always dreamt of, sharing my life with Mack.
“What’s in your hand?” He reaches over gently plucking the card from my fingers.
“It’s a card. The chief’s daughter made it for you.” I don’t bother telling him why he gave it to me. It doesn’t matter.
A smile creeps across Mack’s face as he looks down at the pink paper. “That’s nice,” he looks up at me, “I can’t wait to get cute little homemade cards from our daughter.”
“Our daughter?” My breath hitches in my throat. Mack steps toward me and wraps his arms around me.
“Of course. We make beautiful children. It’d be a damned shame to stop with one.” His voice rumbles in my ear and I can feel my resistance melting away. “Why don’t we go to Elitch? Let me make today up to you? I’d like to take Chris somewhere fun and then, once it’s just you and me in the hotel room, I can really make things right.” His eyes twinkle.
“Well,” I press up against him, “I guess I do have the time off now.”
“You do.”
“And Chris is pretty excited to go.”
“He is.”
“So, I guess we can do that.” I agree.
Mack kisses me and I melt into his arms. I love how the same man that can drag so much chaos into my life can also make me feel so protected from it. How does he do that?
I pull away and look back into his eyes, “But Mack?”
“Yes.”
“You have to promise that you won’t have anymore outbursts or anything else for that matter. Ok? I don’t want Chris seeing you get like that; it’s too upsetting for him.”
“Cross my heart,” he smiles and crosses a x over his chest.
I can’t help but laugh. Mack will never really grow up, but that’s what makes him so much fun to be around. A few days together as a family will be nice. Family. That word just fits so well. We’re finally all together again.
As a family.
31
Mack
2014
“Mom! Did you see us? It was crazy!” Chris bounds up to Lauren excitedly.
“Way to go, little man! That roller coaster is crazy! I would’ve died if I went on that.” Chelsea holds up her hand to Chris and he high fives it.
“I did see you, was it fun?” Lauren looks down at him with a smile.
“It was amazing! Can I go again? I just need to go pee first, but you can hold my place in the line and then when I get back you can go on it with me this time,” he instructs Lauren. You gotta respect a man with a plan.
“No, hun. I’m with Chelsea on this, I would never go on a ride that fast. We’re not all like Captain America over there,” she winks at me. “The Ferris wheel is about as daring as I get.”
“That’s right, not everyone can be a hero,” I tease her.
“Yeah, yeah. I think you’ve played that card already,” she shoots back at me, busting my chops. God, I love her. “Besides,” she looks back down at Chris, “your aunt and I are getting hungry. Don’t you guys want to eat?”
“Yeah!” Chris jumps, instantly forgetting how much he wanted to get on the Brain Drain again.
“I’ll tell ya what, bud,” Chelsea looks down at him, “how about you go with your mom and find a bathroom. I’ll head out with Mack to get us some pizza slices. That way we’ll cut our time standing in line down. Ok?”
Lauren looks over at her sister with question marks in her eyes. “Doesn’t it make more sense for you and I to get the food and for Mack to take Chris?”
“Nah,” Chelsea waves her off casually. “It’s not like you’ve gotta take him in the bathroom or anything, he’s a big kid. Besides, it’ll be a good chance for me and the Captain here to have a chat.”
Lauren searches her sister’s face and then mine, “Okay,” she answers slowly. “I guess we’ll meet you guys over at the picnic tables,” she puts her hand on Chris’s shoulder lightly and guides him away, shooting her sister one last look of suspicion before walking away with our son.
“Let’s go get some pizza!” Chelsea smiles at me and gives my arm a tap to bring me back from watching Lauren’s perfect ass swing away.
“Sure,” we walk past long lines of exhausted parents and their endless pits of energy for kids and make our way over to the food trucks.
“Hey, this was a great idea, by the way. I think Lauren needed some down time and Chris is having a blast,” Chelsea seamlessly threads her way past the oncoming crowd. I’ve gotta admit, being surrounded by so many people has been tugging at my nerves all day. Now that it’s noon, the park is packed and I can feel my blood pressure going up as the free space shrinks closer around me.
I’ve never loved huge crowds, but Afghanistan solidified my contempt. Over there, being surrounded by groups of people meant that extra diligence was needed. Constant surveying of the markets or busy streets for signs of danger or hostility. Over there, heavy crowds meant watching your men get attacked in a cowardly ambush. Over there, too many people swarming around meant death.
“I’m happy that they’re happy,” it’s not a lie. It’s the reason I’ve been fighting my instinct to get the fuck outta here every time another gaggle of strange faces has put me on edge.
“Yeah, I can see that. It’s good that you’re trying to make her happy, Mack. I mean, Lauren has had it rough for a long time now. I’m sure you’re aware.” She shoots me a pointed look that instantly pulls me from my battle with claustrophobia and makes me feel like I’m not towering over her. Damn, that dirty look must run in the family. She and her sister have it down pat. “I mean, because when you took off on her ten years ago, it didn’t seem like you were really thinking about her happiness then,” she continues. Twist the knife, why don’t ya?
“I wanted to stay with her back then too, she wasn’t having it,” I shoot back, but somehow with Chelsea giving me the side eye, I don’t have as much conviction in my voice.
“Yeah, you were both a dumb couple of kids,” she agrees. “And I can see you’ve changed. You grew up into a great man. A man that would be a powerful influence on Chris’s life,” she continues.
“Thanks,” I follow her as she weaves past an elderly couple walking about a quarter mile an h
our. The smell of food tells me that we’re near the trucks before my eyes do. A mixture of scents perfume the air; the concoction is similar to the clash of spices at the market in Afghanistan. My vision blurs and suddenly sand grits under my feet where asphalt was only a second ago. The heat of the Afghani sun is searing my skin and beads of sweat break out on my forehead. I blink hard and take a deep breath. Focus. When I open my eyes, Chelsea is watching me closely. I must have stopped walking because we’re both standing still.
“You ok?” she peers at me like a child looking at a bug they’re seeing for the first time.
“Yeah, for sure. Just, uh, got dizzy for a sec. I’m good.”
“Ok,” she looks at me with one eyebrow cocked. “Well, let’s get some slices. Maybe you need some food.” She nods over at the pizza truck and we get in the line for food.
“Anyway, I’m not trying to give you a hard time or anything,” Chelsea picks up where she left off.
“You sure about that?” I look her straight in the eyes, not because of our conversation, but because it helps me stay focused on the present.
“I am. I’m actually trying to give you your props. I can see you’ve got a good heart and good intentions for my sister. I believe that people can change for the better and you’ve clearly done that.”
“Thanks, I actually have a plan for later,” I reach into my pocket.
“Hey, I don’t need to know what you plan to do with her later. We’re not that close!” she laughs and crinkles her nose the same way Lauren does.
“No, not that. Well …” I shrug, “that too.”
“Ewww.” She sticks out her pink tongue. “Can I get four slices of pepperoni and four cans of coke?” She diverts her attention to the man waiting to take our order.
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