I found myself holding back tears at the mention of her parents who still sat in a Romanian prison waiting for the day Lilly would graduate from high school. Although Kiran was able to argue Lilly’s release from prison, Lucan wouldn’t grant any of Kiran’s other terms without compromise. Lilly was only allowed to attend Kingsley while Kiran was also there, and if her parents were held as collateral. She would have gladly dropped out of school to save her parents the pain, but the bargain had already been made. She was also a prisoner in Omaha.
“Lilly, I understand,” Amory replied with equaled sorrow. “We won’t wait; you may join tonight as I suspect was your hope. Angelica, please prepare the magic.” Amory addressed an elderly woman, with kind, violet eyes. The woman who would appear in her seventies or eighties, although I knew was hundreds of years older than that, quickly stood and left the barn.
I looked at my friend wringing her pale hands in her lap. I could see that she was nervous, but I also saw the fierce determination set in her eyes. Lilly was infinitely braver than me to be so sure this was the step she wanted to take. I envied her for a second, hating my indecision and middle-ground position. As I felt her magic flare with unwavering resolve, I realized that I could not stand in the middle for long. Someday soon I would have to make a final decision, and without a doubt, that decision would set me on a journey of fate shaping, not only mine, but the destiny of the entire Immortal race.
2.
“You’ll come with me, won’t you Eden?” Lilly whispered nervously. Her soft voice trembled and I noticed her hands were clenched together so tightly that her knuckles had turned white.
“Of course I will,” I tried to sound reassuring, without actually knowing if I could keep my promise.
To be honest I was almost as nervous as she was. The little I had heard about the initiation into the Resistance did not sound easy. Avalon explained some things to Lilly once we returned from Romania. She had a thousand questions, and although he said he couldn’t go into too much detail, he did say it was an extremely painful process. He related something about adding to the magic in your body, changing it somehow, and then branding it in a way to bond the initiate specifically with the rest of the Resistance.
I inhaled a big breath to focus my nerves. The rest of the Resistance sat together in anxious clumps. The frenzied energy circling the barn tonight testified they were obviously excited that another Immortal would be joining their ranks.
I glanced at the rescued team members sitting off by themselves in a quiet corner of the metal barn. They maintained their slouched postures and hanging heads. Most of the gathered Immortals had paid their respects, including Lilly, who I was realizing, shared a common thread after living in captivity with them for over two months.
Lilly stared at them as well. Oscar Rodriguez glanced at her with a half smile on his face. It wasn’t much, but it was the most of an expression I had seen from any of them. He gestured at her with his hand to join them, but she hesitated, uncertainty flashing across her face.
“Are you, um, are you going to give them their magic back?” Lilly asked in a shaky voice. I couldn’t tell if she was nervous to ask the question or if she was still nervous from her impending induction.
“What do you mean?” I asked mortified. “I didn’t realize that was an option!” I continued to shriek dramatically. I had been told that I drained them of their magic, but I hadn’t been told I could give it back. Does that mean that I’ve been holding on to stolen magic this whole time? Or using it? I shuddered at the thought of using someone else’s magic; it seemed like a gross invasion of privacy.
“Eden, what is the problem?” Amory joined our circle of two, concern marking his expression. He laid one hand strongly on my shoulder, in a gesture that had become familiar to me whenever Amory wanted me to calm down.
“Amory is it possible for me to give those boys their magic back? Have I been holding on to it this entire time?” I demanded, crossing my arms stubbornly.
“Well, yes you have,” Amory laughed genially. I scowled at him, frustrated. I didn't necessarily blame him, but I always felt one step behind. More than one step. I never knew what was going on. I had never, not once, regretted my human up-bringing, but this was seriously getting out of control.
“Then how do I give it back?” I didn’t lose my frustrated tone.
“Eden, if that is what you would like to do, then, of course, you can give them their magic back,” Amory replied soothingly.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” I whined. “I feel awful for holding on to something that’s not mine for so long. Look at them. They look miserable.”
“Not miserable,” Amory continued softly. “Tired, exhausted, like they’ve just been through hell, but not miserable. They asked me not to make a big deal about it. I think they hoped you would give it back to them, but they can’t force you. You alone have to make the choice.” Something about the last thing Amory said struck a chord, and I realized he was not only referring to the rescued team’s magic.
“Of course I want to. It’s not mine. I shouldn’t have taken it in the first place,” I hung my head, ashamed. I wished I knew what I was doing more than just some of the time.
“Alright, Eden, do you know how to give them their magic back?” Amory began walking in their general direction and I noticed all of them struggle to sit up straighter and put on a smile. They stared at Amory with a sort of hero-worship that made me proud to be his granddaughter.
“How could I possibly know that?” I blurted out, a little over dramatically.
“Oh,” Amory sighed, sounding a little defeated.
“Oh,” Lilly echoed Amory’s concerned tone.
“What do you mean…. oh?” I stopped dead in my tracks, afraid I wasn't the only one who was out of their league in this particular situation.
“Well, I’m sure it will be fine,” Amory put on a smile again, finally approaching the team. “Boys, once again I would like to say how wonderful it is to have you all back, safe and sound. I would like to introduce you to Eden, my granddaughter, although I’m afraid you’ve already met. She is here to try and restore your magic if you’re up for the challenge.” I instantly saw light behind all four boys’ eyes; clearly they would be up for any challenge that resulted in returning their magic.
“Ok, so what do I have to do?” I asked Amory, hoping he would have some kind of answer for me.
“That is an excellent question, Eden. Why don’t you work with these boys and try to figure the process out while I check with Angelica to see how Lilly’s induction ceremony is coming,” he smiled sheepishly and turned quickly on his heel to retreat.
“Are you telling me you don’t know what I am supposed to do?” I called after him, demanding an answer. It seemed beyond impossible that Amory of all people wouldn't know how to solve this problem.
“I’m sorry, dearest. The process is different for each person. Besides what you did hasn’t actually ever been accomplished before, and certainly not by me. So I’m afraid I don’t know what to tell you,” he explained while walking backwards hands waving apologetically in the air, and then he left the barn in search of Angelica.
“What does he mean it’s never been before?” I turned on the rescued team and Lilly crossing my arms again and stamping my foot frustrated.
“It’s been done before, Eden.” Lilly tried to reassure me. “Not four Immortals at once, but the Titans used to take people’s magic all of the time, back when the monarchy first began. But then usually those people, just.... died. I think the whole issue is actually returning the magic and, of course, making sure you give the right person the right magic,” she smiled again with confidence, but a ball dropped in my stomach and I realized for the first time what was at risk.
“Ok….” I cleared my throat with instinctive nervousness. “So how do you guys suggest I go about this?” I looked pleadingly at the rescued team, open to any and all suggestions.
“We could try one at a tim
e….” Jett Fisher suggested, while subtly nudging Ebanks in the back with his elbow.
“Be my guest,” Ebanks responded with his low, melancholy voice.
“I thought you guys wanted your magic back,” I was confused. I thought the rescued team would want nothing more than to have their magic restored, but now that the opportunity was in front of them, it would appear none of them was willing to try. Or maybe none of them was willing to try with me. I couldn't really blame them for not trusting me. After all, I was the one who got them in this mess to begin with.
“Well, it’s just that,” Ronan Hannigan began with a shaky Irish accent, “it’s just that, when you took our magic we assumed you were going to kill us, or at least knew how to give it back.” He finished his sentence by hanging his head and I watched as my inexperience and lack of knowledge only discouraged them more.
“I wish that were true,” I replied, just as distraught as them. “But the truth is, I didn’t know what I was doing then and it would appear that I still have no idea what I’m doing now.” Once again the four hurting boys could not look me in the eye and I was struck with an overwhelming sense of guilt. “We could always try though, couldn’t we?” I fought for optimism, hoping it would spread.
“What if you give us the wrong magic?” Ebanks questioned.
“Yeah, or what if you can’t give the magic back at all?” Ronan’s fiery Irish accent was less than enthusiastic.
"Or what if you finish the job?" Jett mumbled underneath his breath.
“Ok, I get that we are all scared here. I’m scared of those very same things. Or, um, some of them anyways.” Especially now, since I didn’t know those were real possibilities, but I didn’t say that to the team. “But are you happy with the way things are now?” I looked at the four seemingly strong Immortals, with their heads hung low and their shoulders slumped. They shook their heads wearily. “Then I say we try this, if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, but I can’t imagine that you would want to stay the way you are for the rest of eternity. And for gods sakes Jett, I'm not going to kill anybody!” I ended my lecture with a flare of the dramatic. My speech had the desired effect and all four boys struggled to sit up a little straighter.
“Ok, I’ll try,” Oscar, who had been silent through most of the debate, stood up confidently.
Oscar walked out of the tight circle the rescued team had been sitting in and faced me. He stared at me for a few seconds as if trying to read something on my face. Suddenly he held out his hands as if I should take them. Apparently he trusted me, It was time I trusted myself.
I reached out and clench his hands in mine. I barely felt a magical pulse underneath his sweaty palms and I could only imagine the exhaustion he must have been feeling. Oscar closed his eyes tightly as if afraid of what would come next. I followed suit, but only to achieve better concentration.
Or so I told myself.
The longer I held Oscar’s hands, the more my magic surprisingly began to stir. Something deep inside of me, almost as if there was magic in the most secret part of my soul, began to move. The hidden magic as it were, did its best to surface, while my body fought to keep the magic locked away. Unwillingly, my magic struggled to suppress Oscar’s and locked it deep inside again. I inhaled sharply, feeling the struggle in every fiber of my being. I pushed the magic with my mind toward the surface of my body and into the palms of my hands. Oscar’s magic felt freedom and soared with him so close. My magic continued to bury the stolen energy back into the recesses of my soul. Although I fought with my mind, the magic that filled my blood was too strong and I was unable to release to Oscar what I had stolen from him.
In one last effort to force Oscar’s magic out of my skin I thrust my magic and everything I had into my palms. Suddenly we were flying through the air. Our bodies flung forcefully like rag dolls to opposite sides of the barn. We landed in painful clumps on the concrete floor.
I heard Oscar groan and I jumped to my feet in an effort to see if he was alright. My magic had already finished healing my own body, but I could tell from where I stood, just inside the open double doors, that what was left of Oscar’s magic had not been able to revive him. The rest of his team and Lilly had flocked to his side and were helping him sit up. He held his head and when he brought his hand away I saw that it was covered in dark, crimson blood.
I turned around, frustrated and unable to look at him. I felt helpless and responsible. Any other Immortal would know what to do; any other Immortal would have had the training necessary to be able to return the magic that belonged to them.
I walked out of the barn into the cold night air. A thousand stars shone down on me, stretching on eternally through the wide Nebraska sky. I wrapped my arms around my body, holding in the warmth, refusing to use the magic that had me so frustrated at the moment.
“You’ll figure out how to give it back, these things take time,” Jericho was suddenly at my side. I turned to stare at him, surprised by his comforting words, but he was looking at the ground, his baseball cap pulled low on his brow.
“I hope you’re right,” I winced. I couldn’t bear to send another one of that poor team flying. “What does it feel like?” he finally glanced at me from underneath his hat.
“Trying to give the magic back?” I asked, unsure if I wanted to share the feeling. Jericho nodded an affirmative. “It feels like I don’t want to give it back. I didn’t even know I had been holding on to their magic, but now that I’ve found it, it’s like my body will do anything to keep it.”
“Will you keep it?” Jericho asked tentatively. He was the third person to ask me this question. What kind of person did these people think I was?
“Of course not,” I spat, and then regretted my tone immediately. “I mean, of course I want to give it back to them. It’s not mine, I should never have taken it in the first place. I just didn't know what I was doing then. I still don't.... I will find a way though. I will give them back their magic,” I said determined, and at that moment I realized just how determined I was.
“Others would not give it back. In fact, if you are successful, you would make history by returning their magic,” he smiled softly at me and I noticed the hardness in his eyes slowly dissipating.
“What do you mean?” I asked, impressed by the prospect of making history, but a little more daunted by the task at hand.
“Other Immortals have drained magic before, but usually they do it on purpose,” he smirked at me, enjoying his sarcasm. “However, since they accomplish the task on purpose, that has tended to mean they refuse to give it up. I have just always thought they were greedy and power-hungry, but maybe they couldn’t have given up the magic if they wanted,” he looked back down at the ground and kicked a rock, making it skip along the gravel drive.
“Who?” I asked, but believed I already knew the answer.
“The monarchy, of course, and their Titan Guard,” he smiled sadly at me and I was struck by the perfection of his lips.
“Oh. I can see that though. I mean just now, when I was trying to give Oscar back his magic there was such a hunger inside of me to keep it, I was scared. I don’t want their magic, I only want to give it back to them. But I was overcome by this, this overwhelming greed. I know more than ever it does not belong inside of me. I will do whatever it takes to give it back to them,” I folded my arms defiantly, as if inwardly challenging myself to finish the task.
“You do deserve to be queen,” Jericho whispered and I was surprised by his words, I turned to say something to him, but could not think of anything appropriate. So instead of speaking I simply stared into his eyes, searching for the reason behind his statement.
“Eden, Angelica says the magic is ready. Will you still come with me?” Lilly’s soft voice called to me from the barn doors and I turned without saying anything more to Jericho. I walked to Lilly’s side and joined her for the biggest moment of her life thus far.
3.
I followed Lilly through the other side of the barn a
nd around the large white farmhouse. A small group of other Immortals walked silently with us. All of them were the older generation except Avalon, whom I noticed was allowed more of a leadership role than anyone else our age, including me.
Angelica led our small group behind the farmhouse and down into a storm cellar. Lilly and I followed Conrad, Terrance, Amory and Avalon down a set of worn stone steps. The men all carried fiery torches and as we walked through a surprisingly long tunnel, they stopped and lit suspended torches along the wall.
What I expected to be a typical Nebraska tornado shelter, meant to protect from seasonal storms, had turned into a long, but wide tunnel, leading further and further into the earth. The already cold November night continued to stiffen the frigid air the farther into the passageway we walked.
Lilly’s hand in mine, I could feel her tremble with anxiety. The look on her face was sheer determination, etched with near panicked hysteria. Her already pale skin had turned translucent by fear and her vibrant red curls framed her face in a haze of frizz. I squeezed her hand, hoping to comfort, except I couldn’t help but empathize her same fears.
Eventually we came to a thick stone door. The small group ahead of us mounted their torches into frames already nailed to the walls. Through the dim firelight I could see small markings bordering the outline of the door and then another large symbol set exactly in the middle at eye level: a snake, wrapped in a circle, swallowing its own tail.
Angelica was the first one through the door. She put her finger, just below her ear, where her jawbone met her neck, and I watched the faint flare of light. I realized she was illuminating the same symbol of the snake eating its own tail, the same symbol Lilly was on her way to receive. Angelica carried the magic in her finger, from her neck to the symbol on the door. She placed her index finger ever so softly on the serpent and I watched with quiet awe as the door glowed in the same color as Angelica’s magic before opening into a circular room.
Hopeless Magic (The Star-Crossed Series) Page 2