by Jake Mactire
“Why is that? What’s the difference?” Mike was apparently unfamiliar with local politics.
“The folks who have lived here a long time have always been the ones ranchin’, loggin’, maybe doin’ some farmin’, or raisin’ fruit trees,” I explained. “They tend not to have a great deal of money and to be a bit redneck, real conservative. Not in that holier than thou religious way, but in the ‘don’t tread on me’ way. For example, they’re okay with me or me and you, but they wouldn’t like to see us kissin’ on Main Street. They’re more of a ‘you do what you wanna do and so will I, but we won’t throw it in each other’s faces’.
On the other hand, most of the folks who have come to the valley in the last twenty or twenty-five years tend to be rich, liberal, and college educated from Seattle. Lots of ’em are what we call Microsoft millionaires. They made their money in the tech boom. They move in here, and they are a bit vocal about what they believe in, things like restrictions on guns, no huntin’, stuff like that, which raises a lot of hackles around here. In some cases they’re justified, in others not. Probably the biggest thing is that they came in here and bought up a lot of property. The prices skyrocketed. So people who been here for generations can’t afford the property taxes; their kids can’t afford to buy homes. My way of puttin’ it would be they come from two different tribes or cultures, and sometimes those two don’t sit all too well together.”
“That’s a real good explanation, Jeff,” Mary Grace said. “Every few years there is some issue that causes a lot of bad feelings and mistrust. Those things take years to calm down. People like reverend Spencer like to incite hate and the differences to further their own ends.”
“I ain’t never thought about the things you two mentioned. It’s a mess, ain’t it?”
“It sure can be, buddy.”
“Most of us on both sides believe that people like you boys, Sandy, Maria, José, even Josh are the ones to end it. You two see both sides. Being gay you are in a better position to understand the liberals, but being locals you understand what the longtime families here in the valley care about. I mention Sandy because she’s in the same boat. Josh is dating the older lady from Seattle, but he’s a local, and Maria and José are from Mexico, but hang around with locals.”
“Mary Grace, I reckon that’s why the co-op is so happy to have a local artist or two, since that shows that the co-op is bringin’ money into the town and valley among the locals.” When I said “or two” I put my hand on Mike’s shoulder.
“I ain’t local though Jeff, I was raised in Nebraska.”
“Yeah, but, you’re workin’ as a ranch hand, one of the traditional ways of makin’ a livin’ here in the valley. The folks around here lump you in with the locals because of that.”
“You’re right, Jeff. We do come under pressure to hire local kids to man the store, but we haven’t found anyone who really is that interested in art or wants to learn about it enough to do the job.”
“Do you want me to ask around? There’s gotta be some kid out there who was like me, wantin’ to do his or her art stuff, but just doesn’t know how to go about it, or more likely gets resistance from their parents since they don’t see it as a way to make money.”
“Could you, Jeff? I’d be ever so grateful!”
“I’d be happy to, Mary Grace.”
Mike’s face lit up all of a sudden. “I have an idea. Remember how you said you wanted a picture of Jeff in the winter with a Santa cap on his cowboy hat?” She nodded. “How about you get one of him, and give him credit for startin’ it, but when we all go carolin’ before Christmas, we could all do that. That’s most of the young folks in town. Jeff’s got enough of a followin’ that he could easily talk everyone into doin’ that. And that would be a way to get both sides together.”
“Plus a great deal of publicity for the town and the co-op since we get a lot of tourists that weekend. I’ll ask the board of the co-op if we can spring for the hats. When it snows, we can get pictures of you and your friends with the Santa hats on, and then pictures of the group and the lights and everything, just after Thanksgiving!” Mary Grace was on a roll now. “That’s a great idea, Mike. You weren’t hidin’ in a ditch the day they passed out brains.” He turned a bit red, but looked really pleased.
Mary Grace showed us around the co-op, and where she was planning on putting my sculptures, and where the photo story would go. It looked fine to me. She also showed Mike where she’d like to put his belts and hatbands. When he mentioned he also did bridles and reins, she got giddy and said that collectors love that sort of thing. Next thing we knew, she was planning on coming out to the ranch tomorrow with Ryan and interviewing Mike and taking some more pictures. It was supposed to be clear tomorrow, so she wanted to get some pictures of Mike in front of the bunkhouse working on a belt. We agreed that noon would be a good time and said our goodbyes.
Mike and I stepped out of the co-op and onto the boardwalk. It was cold. The sky was crystal clear, and the moon was full. There was a big circle around it, so I reckoned that the weather was going to change. We were supposed to get a hard freeze tonight. We headed over to One Eyed Jack’s. Sandy was working tonight, so it would be nice to see her. We walked into One Eyed Jack’s and headed toward a booth. Before we could get all the way there, Sandy came running toward us and threw her arms around me.
“Jeff, thank God you’re okay! You got shot at and almost froze to death. I am so happy you’re all right!” She was yelling pretty loud and crying too.
“I’m okay, darlin’. It would take a lot more than Porky to kill me. He didn’t have any kryptonite with him.” I smiled at her and returned her hug. She kept sobbing loudly. We were the center of attention. I reckoned that in a small town pretty much everyone had heard about me getting shot at and Porky getting killed.
Sandy finally stopped sobbing and pulled back. Then she slapped me. I stood there with my mouth hanging open wondering just what in the hell was going on.
“I can’t believe you were such a damn fool to run outside buck naked chasing that fat thief in almost freezing drizzle. Just what in the hell were you thinkin’? Don’t you ever do somethin’ like that again. If something happened to you, how do you think I’d feel, Mike would feel, José and Josh and Maria would feel? First, you almost get shot, and then you almost freeze to death.” She started sobbing again and ran into the kitchen. I was still standing there with my mouth hanging open. A booth right near us was filled with folks I went to high school with. One was a guy named Nick who thought he was the class wit.
“Hey, Connelly, I hear you were off solving crimes last night. Too bad the name ‘Lone Ranger’ is taken. We’ll just have to call you the naked ranger.” He hooted with laughter at this and so did his friends at the table.
I was beginning to feel a bit peevish after Sandy’s reaction. I turned to Nick.
“Howdy, Nicky. Some of us have bodies to be the naked ranger, and some of us don’t.” I looked him up and down. He was gettin’ a bit thick. He got my insinuation. He really wasn’t a bad guy though. He laughed along with his friends.
“I’m just happy you’re okay. Don’t mind me teasin’ you.”
I felt like a real ass. “Sorry about the mean comment, Nick. I was just hopin’ people wouldn’t find out I ran outside bare assed.” I was anxious to change the subject.
“Have you met my partner, Mike?” They did introductions all around. After a minute of chatter, Mike and I headed over to the booth.
I could clearly hear one of the girls ask Nick, “Partner? Does that mean they’re a gay couple?”
“Yeah, Connelly admitted to folks he was gay when we were in high school. Lotta folks learned it don’t matter. He’s a regular guy.” It felt nice to be accepted. Mike had a big smile on his face.
We both turned a bit red when the girl continued to Nick, saying, “I’d pay to watch the two of them go at it. They are both hot!”
Nick answered, “I don’t think you have what they want.
Besides, if you ever see ’em around town, you’ll see just how into each other they are.” They then started talkin’ about other things. I thought it was kind of interesting to see how others in town saw me, really saw us.
“You were right, Jeffy. It doesn’t seem to matter to a lot of people that we’re gay. I never realized in my whole life just how accepting decent folks are.”
“Decent folks see ya as a person first. It don’t matter to them that you’re gay, straight, black, white, Latino, whatever.” He smiled at me. I loved the way he looked at me. If your eyes are the windows of the soul, Mike had a whole lot of caring, love, and admiration in his soul. It made me start to physically react and remember I had on that uncomfortable jock.
“Buddy, I can’t believe you talked me into wearing this jock. It’s as uncomfortable as hell. You look at me, I get hard, and it is not pleasant.”
“Believe me, Jeffy. It will be worth it for ya when we get home.”
“I’m gonna hold you to that.”
“You better.” We grinned at each other. Sandy came over to the booth.
“I’m sorry. I just got so upset when Dad told me you got shot at and then almost froze to death. I kinda got myself all worked up over it. I didn’t mean to break down like that. Now, Jeff, Mike, your food and drink is on the house. What will ya have?” She was smiling shyly. I’d never seen Sandy look that meek before. It was almost worth gettin’ slapped.
“Don’t worry about it, darlin’. I was pretty upset myself last night. And believe me, after I realized it wasn’t the smartest thing to do what I did, I thought about Mike, you, Maria, José, Josh, and all my friends.” She started sniffing again, but she was still smiling. I reckoned I wouldn’t get slapped again.
“I’ll have a bacon cheeseburger and fries, and to drink how about a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale?”
“Okay, and you, Mike?”
“Same for me, can you also add an order of the fried jalapenos?”
“Comin’ right up.” She turned and headed toward the kitchen.
“Mike, I will never understand how women think. I just don’t see how straight men cope.”
“We’re in the same boat there.”
“You gonna get out your belts and hat bands and mccartys and bridles and key chains for Mary Grace? You’re gonna have to explain that a mccarty is a piece of tack.”
“Reckon so. It would be nice to make some money off of ’em. Then maybe I can contribute some money to us too.” I stared at him for a minute or so.
“Mike, money doesn’t mean nothin’ to me. I don’t care how much you make or don’t make or anythin’ like that. I care about you. You bein’ there for me last night was worth more than all the gold in Fort Knox.” Just then Sandy came with our beers.
“Other than last night’s excitement, what have you two been up to?”
“Jeff and me went to the co-op and saw the photos for his exhibit. Mary Grace is also gonna show my horsehair belts and hatbands and such.”
“That’s great, Mike. You’re really talented at that, and it is a real cowboy craft.”
“By the way, Sandy, Mary Grace is gonna ask you and Josh, José, Maria, and others when we go carolin’ this year, to all wear Santa hats on top of our cowboy hats. Like I did that one year, remember?”
“That’s a great idea. Is she gonna use the pics in your exhibit?”
“Yeah, she wants to feature a local boy.”
“That would be fun!” She headed off to check her other tables. I raised my beer mug to Mike.
“To us. May the worst day of our future be no worse than the happiest day we’ve had together so far. That’s an Irish toast. I learned it from my grandfather.”
“Cheers. That’s nice, Jeffy. I don’t got a toast, but I do have a song my grandfather taught me; it’s Cajun.”
He sang it in his soft tenor, and took my hand as he began to sing. When he was done, the table behind us clapped.
Nick said, “Nice voice, Mike; here we got music and there’s no band; it’s great!”
“That was beautiful, buddy.”
“You understood it?”
“Bits and pieces. It’s been a long time since high school French. What was beautiful was you singin’ it.” He smiled and translated.
The north wind has been blowing
Sleet has just fallen
And the leaves are all covered
Winter is a boring time
To be at home alone
C’mon over my dear
And join me.
“I kinda think of you when I think of that song, Jeff. It has a second verse.”
“That’s really nice, Mike; thanks for sharin’ that.” He turned all red.
“It’s nothing really; I like what it says, and it makes me think of you.
The fire in the fireplace is lit
The coffee’s done boiling
And I’m here looking
At a small picture of you
Winter is a boring time
To be at home alone
C’mon over my dear
And join me.”
Just then Sandy came with two more beers and the fried jalapenos, or as the menu calls ’em “Cowboy Breath Mints.” Mike and I chorused, “Thanks.” We dug into the jalapenos. They were hollowed out, filled with cheese, and dipped in batter and deep-fried. They went perfect with beer.
“Good idea, Mike, I’m glad you ordered these.”
“They seemed like they’d hit the spot. You more or less recovered from yesterday?”
“Yeah, I know you understand, but it sure does fuck with your head to be on the wrong end of a gun like that.”
“It took me a couple of days to get over it when me and Wayne got shot at.”
“I wonder about Wayne. He got shot. He seems okay now, but I hope he’s okay inside. I don’t know that he has anyone to talk to.”
“You think he’s seein’ a lady in Wenatchee, don’t ya, Jeff?”
“I do. I hope she listens to him half as good as you listen to me. Besides, where else could he be spending all that time? He’s always been real closed-mouth about his personal life.”
“Thanks. You’ve listened to me quite a bit though too.”
“All part of bein’ together, bud. You up for goin’ huntin’ again when I get my truck back? It should be next week sometime.”
“I sure am. Hey, Jeff, did you make reservations for the rodeo in Phoenix?”
“I got the room reserved.”
“Well, then let’s spend some time practicin’ our ropin’. We gotta win us some matchin’ buckles.”
“You’re not gonna suggest we start dressin’ alike are ya, like both wear the same hats, shirts, and boots?” I looked right at him.
“Why do you ask that?” I could see that was exactly what he was thinking.
“I just like lookin’ at you dressed like you, not like me. You were thinkin’ that though, weren’t ya?”
“I was.”
“I got an idea you’ll like better. I’ll tell ya about it when we get home.”
“Now I like the sound of that!”
“Believe me, you’ll like it in action a lot more, buddy.” I hoped he would anyway. I was finding some stuff about my partner the last day or so that was interesting. If I was reading him right, the idea I had would get him climbing the walls. I’d be the beneficiary, so I did have an ulterior motive, but it was more for him really.
“You gonna tell me?”
“All in good time, buddy.” Just then Sandy walked over with our burgers.
“Jeff, Mike, you guys want to come into town this weekend? We’re havin’ a good country band in here on Saturday, and Maria will be here. So will José, Josh, and Renee.”
“Sounds like fun. What do you think, Mike?”
“I’m up for it, as long as you’ll dance with me, Sandy.” She beamed at him.
“I take it Jeff taught you to dance.”
“Yep, I really like it.”
“You know
how to lead?” His face fell on that one.
“I’ll teach you. I know Jeff has no idea how to follow.”
“Jeff’s a leader all right. Lucky we all just don’t follow blindly. Like I’m lucky I didn’t run out into freezin’ drizzle buck naked the other day followin’ his lead.” Mike chuckled. I’d get back at him later.
“Some of us are just leaders and others followers. Some are pitchers and some catchers, some like chocolate and some strawberry.”
“What are you talkin’ about, Jeffy?” Mike was giving me a quizzical look.
“Just a line from a movie I saw once.” We made plans with Sandy to meet her here at One Eyed Jack’s at eight on Saturday. We’d have some time to eat, and she got off work at eight. We finished our burgers and walked out the door. We got into Mike’s truck. He turned up the heat. I grabbed his hand and held it when he started to drive.
“What are ya doin’?”
“I’m holdin’ your hand, Mike. That okay?” He squeezed my hand back.
“It’s more than okay. I really like it. Lots of things you showed me I like. I never thought that I would, like kissin’, holdin’ hands, gettin’ fucked.”
“You just needed to find the right guy, bud.”
“Well, I think he found me, and I’m sure as hell happy about that.” We rode the rest of the way back to the ranch holding hands. We got to the ranch and in the house pretty quick. It was cold out, and it looked like the weatherman was right. We would get a hard freeze before morning. I locked the door and practically jumped Mike. His idea about me wearing the jockstrap was a good one. I was conscious of it every minute I had it on. Also since he’d asked me to wear it and not shower, I could smell faintly on myself the good clean sweat of a man aroused. I grabbed him and had my arms around him and my tongue in his mouth before he had half a chance to react. Once he did react, it was obvious he was as worked up as I was. He was pushing into me, grabbing my crotch, and kissing back like he’d never been kissed before. I was stiff as a board, and reaching down and feeling Mike, he was sporting quite a big bit of wood also. I kicked off my boots and he did likewise.