by Heidi Betts
He had no one but himself to blame for that. The signals he’d been sending her since their early teens must have confused her beyond reason. Between treating her like a pesky little sister, then casting longing glances in her direction when he thought she wasn’t looking, she probably hadn’t known which end was up. And then he hadn’t even had the courtesy to contact her the day after taking her virginity.
What a heel! What a dumb, selfish jerk! He’d walked away seven years ago, thinking they could forget, pretend that night hadn’t happened.
But she hadn’t been able to pretend or forget, had she? She’d been young, alone and unexpectedly pregnant by a man who not only didn’t call her after sleeping with her, but did his level best to avoid being alone with her any time she came home for a visit.
To top it all off, she’d also been alone when she miscarried. He couldn’t imagine how horrible that must have been for her. The fear, the pain, the sadness. No wonder she’d treated him like a particularly foul species of vermin whenever he was around. He deserved every ounce of her disdain—that and more.
And he didn’t have a clue how to make up for any of it…or if he ever could.
His head was still spinning when Beth peeked around the corner and caught his attention. She wore her work clothes, the jeans and top they’d bought during their trip for nursery supplies.
“I called the airline,” she said softly. “Now that the storm has passed, flights are back on track. My plane for L.A. leaves tomorrow afternoon. I was wondering if you’d drive me over to say goodbye to Mom and Dad in the morning, then drop me off at the airport.”
He nodded, not quite able to manage actual words yet. His throat felt as though someone had their hands around his neck, squeezing, squeezing until he couldn’t breathe.
A beat passed before she murmured a quiet thank-you and returned to her room.
God, how was he going to resolve this? How could he assimilate everything that had happened, everything she’d told him, and put it right? And if she was leaving tomorrow, did he even have time?
He didn’t want her to leave again, fly all the way across the country, with this between them. Possibly forever. They’d spent the last seven years feeling awkward and avoiding each other…he didn’t want to slip back into that strained behavior simply because he was fool enough to let her get on a plane before they’d cleared the air.
But how he was going to do that, he hadn’t a clue.
Connor sat in his truck at the curb while Beth said goodbye to her parents. He’d driven her over earlier, expecting a quick visit before taking her the rest of the way to the airport, but Helen and Patrick had been so happy to see their daughter again and so sorry to see her go, that they’d insisted Beth and Connor sit down with them for a nice lunch of cold-meat sandwiches and fruit salad.
It had reminded him of old times, but he’d still felt uncomfortable. Helen and Patrick Curtis had always treated him like one of their own, even though he’d been nothing more than the scruffy foster child from across the street. He’d been a troublemaker, but they’d looked beyond that to the boy beneath who was desperate for a family, a place to belong, and for someone to love him. They’d given him all that and more, and continued to into his adulthood.
He would do anything for them, which included not betraying their trust by taking advantage of their only daughter.
But it was a little late to avoid that trap, wasn’t it? He’d not only slept with Beth the night before last, he’d taken her virginity seven years ago, leaving her pregnant and alone. Thankfully, those particular gems of information hadn’t come up during lunch.
He also hadn’t thought of a single solution for settling things between them. She was saying her farewells to her mom and dad on the front lawn, then he would drop her off for her flight to California. Never to be seen again.
At least not for a good long while. She didn’t come home very often. And she most especially wouldn’t come home just to see him.
Dammit. What was he going to do?
The passenger door opened, breaking into his troubled thoughts. She climbed in beside him and he noticed the telltale glimmer in her eyes.
“You okay?”
She turned to look at him, sniffing to hold back tears. “Yeah, I just…never expected it to be so hard to leave.” Digging in her purse for a tissue, she dabbed at her nose. “I’ve been back other times, but it’s never felt this bad to take off again.”
“Maybe that’s because this time felt more like coming home.”
The sudden leeching of color from her face told him he’d hit a little too close to the bone. But instead of responding, she glanced out the window, waving to her parents, who still stood in the yard. He took the hint and started the truck, lifting his own hand to Helen and Patrick as they pulled away from the curb.
The ride to the airport passed in silence. Not uncomfortable, just…quiet. He tried a dozen times to broach the subject of their relationship—past and present. The words swirled in his head, forming and then fading away before they reached the tip of his tongue.
He wanted to punch the steering wheel in frustration. Why couldn’t he figure out what to say to her?
Pulling into the airport parking area, he shut off the pickup’s engine and got out to unload her luggage from the truck bed. They made their way into the terminal. Beth checked her suitcase at the desk, and they walked together toward security.
Before reaching the metal detectors, she stopped, twisting slowly on the sole of her black pumps to lift her head and meet his gaze.
She was wearing a black power suit that made her look every inch the competent lawyer. Black slacks, black jacket, with a burnt-orange blouse underneath to brighten things up. Small gold hoops adorned her ears, a thin gold chain sparkling around her neck beneath the collar of her blouse. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she was on her way to a multimillion-dollar contract negotiation. And he had no doubt she’d win every argument she made.
Her blue eyes shone up at him and his gut clenched at her never-ending beauty. Not just on the outside, but on the inside, too. She was everything he’d ever wanted in a woman, yet they were destined to revolve around each other, never stopping long enough to figure out what was really going on. Like asteroids, flying through space, occasionally crashing into one another before shooting off again in the opposite direction.
Tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear, she said, “You don’t have to go the rest of the way with me. I’ll be fine, and I know you must have better things to do with your day than sitting around waiting for my plane to board.”
He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, rocking back on the heels of his work boots. “Are you sure?”
She offered him a kind smile. “I’m sure.”
Reaching out, she brushed her hand down the length of his arm, her heat warming him even through the light blue material. “Thank you for all you did while I was home this time. We may have started out on the wrong foot, but it was nice of you to drive me around when I needed it.”
“No problem.” A beat passed while he attempted to bring one of his earlier speeches to the forefront of his mind. Instead, all he could think to say was, “It was good to see you again.”
“You, too, Connor.”
“I’m sorry about everything, Beth Ann,” he blurted out.
He would have said more, but she raised a hand, covering his mouth with two soft, manicured fingers.
“I told you, it’s all right.” She let her fingertips fall from his lips, landing on his forearm instead. “I’m glad we’re friends again. I’ve missed you.”
His mouth went stone dry at that and he could have sworn he felt tears prickling behind his eyes.
“Call me sometime,” she added.
And then, before he could clear his throat to respond, she shifted the strap of her purse higher on her shoulder, offered him one final, friendly smile, and turned to leave.
He watched her pass through
security, walking off toward her gate without a backward glance. His stomach churned, his palms sweating as he realized it was too late. She was gone. He’d missed his chance.
He stood there for several more minutes, watching after her—wishing she would come back into view, that he could relive their conversation and do it right instead of letting her slip away before he’d cleared his mind and his conscience.
With a heavy sigh, he let his chin drop to his chest dejectedly. That’s it, it was over.
He wasn’t even sure what he’d hoped to accomplish, other than making sure she knew how sorry he was for not being there for her seven years ago, for not being around to learn about the baby or help her through the miscarriage.
But the single resounding thought looping through his mind as he left the airport and headed for his truck wasn’t that he’d failed to call her after they slept together the first time, or that he’d never known he was almost a father.
It was that he’d lost her.
A week later, Connor stood in the doorway of the finished nursery, his shoulder against the jamb as he studied the ocean-blue walls, the sea-creatures wallpaper border, the billowy white curtains. He’d put together a crib for the corner and a changing table for the far wall, and even installed a shelf above the table for powder, wipes, stuffed animals, whatever.
He’d done it all on his own, without Beth’s guidance and feminine touch. And he’d missed it, dammit. He’d missed her.
Luckily, a woman at the store had pointed him in the right direction and helped him pick out some of the items. But just in case, he’d kept the receipts so Nick and Karen could return or exchange anything they didn’t care for.
They’d gotten back from their honeymoon yesterday, and he’d reluctantly shown them the room. He’d wanted it to be a surprise, wanted to do something special for his best friend and his new wife and child. And he thought he’d accomplished that. Nick had been shocked at the transformation of his old bedroom, and Karen had burst into tears, sniffing and laughing happily as she moved around touching every stuffed animal, admiring each and every detail.
He was glad his friends liked the room, but his own pleasure in their reactions had been dampened by Beth’s absence. It had been their project, not just his. She should have been there to see her brother’s face and receive one of Karen’s bone-crushing hugs.
He could picture her standing on a stepladder, affixing the border paper to the top of the wall, glue in her hair, paper unrolling out of control. He could hear her laughter as she struggled to keep her balance, see the gentle curve of her bottom beneath those low-riding jeans she’d worn while they worked, and imagined himself walking up behind her, running his hands over her legs and derriere until she gave up on her task and turned to kiss him instead.
Skipping ahead a few years, his brain decided to take a sharp detour into what their lives would be if they actually got together, if they married and started a family of their own. They would have a nursery just like this someday…or at least similar. Beth would bring her own unique sense of style to the decorating process, so their child could definitely look forward to something more exciting than clowns or teddy bears.
She would rock their babies to sleep while he watched from the doorway, then they would both put the child to bed and stand at the side of the crib, hand in hand, gazing down at the miracle they’d created.
God, he wanted that, he thought, pinching the bridge of his nose where a headache was starting to throb.
So why did he only figure that out now, when it was already too late?
Distracted by his daydreams and self-flagellation, Connor didn’t hear Nick come up behind him until his friend slapped a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.
“Admiring your handiwork?”
“Yeah,” he said, returning Nick’s grin, even though it wasn’t close to his true train of thought.
“I still can’t believe you and Beth did all this. I wish she’d stuck around long enough for Karen and me to thank her.” He gave Connor’s shoulder another squeeze. “Thank you, too, man. You can’t know what this means to us.”
Connor inclined his head. “You deserve it. Both of you. I hope you’ll be happy together for a long, long time.”
Pushing away from the wall, he dug into his hip pocket and pulled out a small stack of paper slips. “Here. In case you want to return anything.”
Nick took the receipts, shoving them into his own pocket, but said, “Are you kidding me? After a honeymoon in Hawaii, I thought I’d be lucky if Karen didn’t start begging me to build a dolphin enclosure in the backyard. Now she’s got this to remind her. Good call, buddy.”
Taking a deep breath, Connor swallowed hard. “It wasn’t my idea, it was your sister’s.”
Maybe it was the tone of his voice or the tension in every fiber of his body, but Nick shifted to face him, leaning back against the opposite side of the doorway and crossing his arms over his chest.
“Something going on between you and my sister that I should know about?”
Connor’s spine snapped carpenter’s-level straight. He took a step back, meeting his friend’s serious expression, and the denial leaped immediately to his lips. “No, of course not.” He paused for a single kettledrum beat of his heart. “Why do you ask?”
“Come on,” Nick scoffed with a wry chuckle. “You think I haven’t noticed the way you two look at each other? The sparks that go off whenever you’re together? It’s been going on since we were kids.”
“I—” He gave a strangled laugh. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“What’s the big deal?” his friend wanted to know. “You like each other. You might as well see where it goes. And if it works out, all the better.” He shrugged. “You’re practically family already. I’d like nothing more than to be able to call you my brother-in-law, as well as my best friend.”
Connor’s chest grew tight, a ball of emotion the size of his fist blocking his airway. He strained for breath, fought to keep the tears from gathering in the corners of his eyes.
“You’re sure?” he finally managed, the words scraping like sandpaper past his dry lips while his head spun. “You wouldn’t mind if I dated Beth?”
“Hell, no,” Nick responded, landing a playful punch to his bicep. “Marry her, for all I care. Just make sure you’re good to her,” he warned with a pointed finger, “or I’ll have to kick your ass.”
He might have laughed, if the ground weren’t still shifting dangerously beneath his feet.
“What about your parents?” he made himself ask. “Don’t you think they’d mind if the foster kid from across the street started messing around with their daughter?”
Nick grew serious, his brows drawing together, twin lines of concern bracketing his mouth. “You’re the only one who ever thought of yourself as a foster child. The rest of us just thought of you as Connor…our friend, and another member of the Curtis clan. Mom and Dad would probably love it if you and Beth hooked up. Even if they didn’t think much of it at first, they’d be fine as long as Beth was happy. That’s all they really want, anyway…and I don’t mind telling you they don’t think she is right now. Happy, I mean.”
“No?”
He shook his head. “California is too far away. We hardly ever hear from her, she works too hard, and she pops antacids like they’re candy. We’re worried about her. Mom, Dad and I would like nothing better than for her to come to her senses and move back to Crystal Springs.”
Connor’s hands were clenching and unclenching at his sides, the shock of Nick’s admission warring with the need to rush out and track down Beth. “You think she would?”
“I don’t know,” Nick said carefully. “Depends on what she had to come home to.”
He met his friend’s compassionate blue eyes, so much like his sister’s, and blurted out the secret he’d been keeping for more than ten years. “I’m in love with her. I’m in love with your sister.”
A wide grin broke out acr
oss Nick’s face. “Yeah? She feel the same way?”
“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. And that suddenly terrified him more than the idea that her parents might not approve.
“Well, what are you standing here for?” Nick challenged, giving Connor a less-than-subtle nudge in the ribs with his elbow. “Go find out.”
Taking a deep breath, he squared his shoulders and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I think I need to go find out.”
He started down the hall, determined now.
“Call if you need anything,” Nick shouted after him.
He lifted a hand to wave in acknowledgment, but didn’t slow his steps. He was on a mission, to hunt down the woman he loved.
And make damn sure she loved him back.
Twelve
Beth finished making notations on one of her clients’ latest contracts, pleased to get the review out of the way before her lunch appointment.
She’d been playing catch-up ever since returning from Ohio. The scheduled time away would have been difficult enough to work around, but now she had to go out and schmooze one of Danny’s more difficult clients because he was at home with his sick son and she’d promised to cover his appointments until he returned.
Her stomach pitched and she automatically reached for the roll of antacids she kept next to the sticky-note dispenser on her desk. Funny that she hadn’t needed the medication even once while she’d been home.
Home. As hard as she’d tried to deny it, she did still think of Crystal Springs as home. Her family was there, and if she was brave enough to admit it, so was her heart.
Tamping down that thought, she bit into another tablet, grinding it between her teeth.
So she hadn’t needed ulcer or migraine medicine while she’d been in Ohio. The same could probably be said if she’d spent a week in Jamaica. Being away from work was bound to reduce her stress level, regardless of what occurred during her vacation.
Setting the contract folder aside until she could discuss the proposed changes with her client, she walked to the bathroom to check her hair and makeup. She was unlocking the bottom drawer of her desk to retrieve her purse when the intercom buzzed.