by Tia Siren
“Sorry about that.” Doctor Brighton gave her a small smile as she retrieved the cup before tossing it in a nearby wastebasket. “But I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that we’ve gotten to the root of the problem.”
The root of the problem?
Alice’s eyes widened slightly. It wasn’t just anxiety? She had fully accepted the fact that she must be psyching herself into manifesting physical symptoms. “So…it’s not just stress?”
“Oh, no.” The doctor replied, shaking her head slowly. “I’m going to prescribe you some metoclopramide – twenty-five milligrams a day. It’s the best treatment for this kind of thing.” She wrote on a pad as she spoke softly. “Take one before you go to bed every night and you should be rid of that pesky morning sickness.”
If Alice’s eyes had been big before, now they were the size of saucers. “Excuse me…morning sickness?”
Doctor Brighton arched a brow. “Yes, of course. Didn’t the nurse tell you? It’s a classic symptom of early pregnancy.”
Alice couldn’t have felt the impact of the Doctor’s statement more if the words had been a physical blow.
For a moment, her mind went completely blank. She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t think, she couldn’t even breathe.
Pregnant. She was pregnant.
Well, that explained a whole hell of a lot. She’d been exhausted lately. Exhausted, stressed, sick to her stomach…and come to think of it, she’d been so wrapped up in personal issues that she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a period. Certainly more than a month at this point.
Which meant that she was most definitely carrying…her professor’s child.
“Are you alright, Ms. Cantor?”
Alice was snapped back to the present by Doctor Brighton’s concerned voice. “Do you feel weak again?”
“I’m…I’m alright.” The dark-haired young woman finally managed, even if she was anything but. She stared at the prescription in the doctor’s hand, her mind whirling.
Just when she thought things couldn’t get any worse. Life had a bizarre sense of humor, it seemed.
Hours later, the young woman sat sequestered in the bathroom of her apartment, staring at the three separate pregnancy tests on the countertop. Not as if she needed their confirmation after visiting an actual doctor, but, somehow, seeing the little two lines in three sets of windows made things seem a whole lot more real.
Alice placed a hand gently against her still very flat stomach, somewhere between terrified nauseous, despite the pills that the Doctor had given her.
A baby.
She couldn’t have a baby right now. She was in the middle of trying to get her graduate degree – pulling all-nighters every other day and spending most of her time in the library. She didn’t even have a part-time job. She had stopped working when the university had offered her a small stipend as part of her scholarship. It was barely enough for her to get by on, let enough to raise a child.
The best thing to do would be to get rid of it. Honestly, what other option did she have?
…Besides keeping it, of course.
The very thought had her eyes sliding tightly shut.
There was no way. She couldn’t even take care of herself! She’d made all the wrong decisions in the past year – spending time with a professor, she knew she had more than platonic feelings for, sleeping with said professor, neglecting her birth control when it was most important…what the hell kind of mother would she be?
Sighing, she took a look at herself in the mirror.
No one would deny that she looked a goddamn mess. Her dark hair hung lank and haggard around her face and the circles under her eyes were dark and deep from lack of sleep. Her roommate insisted that she worked herself too hard, but it was only in the past week or so – since the pregnancy had really started wreaking havoc on her boy – that she’d felt so sincerely awful. It was physical and emotional turmoil all at once, and, for the life of her, Alice wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed and sleep it all off.
But she was an academic, not a complete pussy.
Some decisions had to be made – first and foremost what she was going to do about this child.
Alice stared at herself, long and hard.
Could she really walk into a clinic and purge part of herself from her body?
Part of…him?
And then the next obstacle came into play…if she was going to keep the baby, she couldn’t very well keep it from Thomas. When her belly started rounding out the next semester, the man was bound to notice. Unlike her classmates, her professor was a very observant and acutely intelligent man. He’d probably be able to guess…which meant that they’d have to discuss it before it became an issue.
Slowly, Alice exhaled.
She would not, she promised herself, beg him for anything. She wouldn’t demand anything. That had never been her game, and she never planned it to be. Certainly, her pregnancy hadn’t been expected, but her aim would be to simply speak to Thomas about things like a rational adult.
Even if the idea of being alone again with him, face to face, made her stomach tighten and her heartrate quicken.
Christ, Thomas. She missed him.
Resisting the urge to speak with him every time she found something new and exciting in her research was almost like a physical pain. Going to his lectures and forcing herself not to look at him akin to torture…
Surprisingly enough, the notion made her lips quirk in a slightly amused smile. She had to be a lit student if she was espousing to poetically on love and loss.
All at once, Alice stiffened.
Was that what this was? Love? Thinking about the man every waking second of the day, actually wanting to keep his baby when she might not have the means, needing his body against hers with every goddamn fiber of her being?
Well, she supposed that Shakespeare had known what he was talking about.
Her smile still lingering about her lips, the young woman tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ears as she rubbed her stomach fondly, imagining the life growing there. Whether Thomas wanted anything to do with the baby or not, she would always have a piece of him – a reminder of the way her heart swelled at the very sight of him.
And maybe, just maybe, that would be enough.
**
Thomas had to admit that the ends of semester Stateside were a far sight less rigorous than they were in Britain. Here, students were required to do much less – a product of the education being stretched out over six years instead of the three required across the pond. This, in turn, lessened his workload considerably.
And gave him plenty of time to think.
At present, he didn’t know if that was a blessing or a curse.
He stared down at a paper he was grading, trying to concentrate on the twelve point font as the gray clouds beyond his office window threatened snow. It would be the first of the season – and an idea he still hadn’t gotten used to. It almost never snowed in London. The weather there was far too mucky. If anything, there would be a disgusting coat of slush that covered the entire city in a layer of gray that served to dampen the mood almost as much as it sullied the streets. Here, he would see snow. They would cancel school for it- and he’d be allowed to stay home in his cozy apartment with a fire blazing.
Alone.
The thought made him frown.
The last person he needed to be thinking about right now was Alice Cantor. She’d already distracted him enough, and if the way she continued to act towards him was any indication, she had long gotten over whatever had once been between them.
A twenty-five-year-old woman was ready to move on before an experienced professor – he didn’t know whether to be insulted or amused. Alice continued to surprise him- which was probably why he wouldn’t be able to forget her anytime soon.
Setting his pen down, Thomas ran a slender-fingered hand through his hair, removing his reading glasses.
What he needed to do was get some fresh air. He had long
learned that, as much as he loved his books, there was little that a jaunt around campus couldn’t solve. It was important to hone the body as well as the mind – and sometimes, his little sessions could be his salvation. He didn’t think he’d had a decent run since he and Alice had fallen out.
Maybe it was time to get back to his normal routine.
With a soft chuckle, he rose from his desk to reach for the bag handing on the coat rack just next to the window. He always kept a set of jogging clothes there for when he decided to exercise on a whim, and he had no issue changing in his office. It was more convenient than making a visit to the men’s room, in any event, and cramming his tall form into a stall.
The statuesque man shucked his sweater off over his head and was in the process of unbuttoning his dress shirt when the door to his office creaked open unexpectedly.
Surprised, she turned to see one of his students standing in the doorway – a blonde in a second or third-year class, he recalled. Her name might be Stacy or Stephanie, but her face was familiar because he remembered the way she licked her lips whenever he passed close by her desk.
In an almost Predator-like fashion.
It amused him, to say the least. Before Alice, Thomas dealt with his fair share of overzealous female students trying to throw themselves at him – half of them more than a decade younger than him. Somehow, he always managed to call on his British breeding to let them down gently, though he’d sent a number of them from his office in tears. American women, he’d decided, were brazen, and he’d have to be careful on a college campus where hormones were running high.
Of course, at the time, his own hormones hadn’t been in question.
“May I help you?” He paused with his hands on the second button of his shirt, slightly irked that the young woman had barged into his office without knocking.
Without saying a word, she stepped into his office, closing the door behind herself.
It was then that Thomas noticed the manner in which she was dressed.
Practically transparent t-shirt and no brassiere – despite the fact that it could barely be above freezing outside – a skirt that barely reached her mid-thigh, high heels, and enough makeup to be the star performer in a drag show.
Dear God.
“Professor Lerner, I need to speak to you.” When she addressed him, her voice was breathy with anticipation. “I have some questions about my term paper.” She crossed the room in four quick strides to all but plaster herself to his front, enveloping him in the scent of cheap perfume. Reaching up, he took firm hold of her wrists, his mouth pulling into a tight line.
“If you need to speak to me, I suggest you take a seat there and allow me to button up my shirt, Miss-”
“You can call me whatever you like.” She cut him off silkily, blue eyes half-lidded with lust as she all but wrapped a leg around him. “Just as long as you promise me a few private sessions, sir.”
Well, this one was certainly aggressive.
Clearing his throat, Thomas forced himself to swallow his annoyance, one hand curling into young woman’s thigh in an attempt to get her to release her death grip on him. “I’m sure you’re aware of the policy between students and teachers here, and I have no intention of-”
Catching him off guard, she pressed her mouth firmly to his, and a low sound of surprise escaped him.
She tasted as if she’d been drinking, and Thomas grimaced against her lips, cursing his body’s reaction. If it weren’t for his mind’s recent turmoil, no doubt he would have been with a woman recently enough that he didn’t become aroused from the touch of an undoubted floozy – but as things were, he could hardly help himself.
Not that he intended to see things through. One kiss from his inebriated, dogged student was quiet enough.
Tearing his mouth from hers, Thomas opened his mouth to reprimand her – only to freeze in place.
His unwelcome visitor wasn’t, it seemed, the only student to come and see him.
Standing silhouetted in his doorway was none other than Alice, her eyes wide at the sight that greeted her.
It took a moment for Thomas to realize how compromising his position must look – and at that moment, Alice’s expression crumbled into one of the most intense pain he thought he might ever have witnessed. Without a word, she turned on her heel and fled –
Leaving him in the arms of the campus harlot.
He snapped out of his trance quickly. “Jesus Christ, sod off.” The words left him on a snarl as the professor shoved his way from the blonde’s embrace. He paused just long enough to grab his coat from the rack next to the door before racing down the hall after Alice.
Bloody hell, he’d done it this time.
It was just beginning to snow as he burst out into the parking lot – and it took him a split second of searching before he discovered Alice’s hunched form making her way towards the library. “Alice!” He hurried to catch up with her though he had no idea what he planned on saying. “Alice, wait. Please!” His legs were far longer than hers – and besides that, he was accustomed to running long distances. He caught up to her within a minute, taking one of her shoulders in a gentle but firm grip. “I don’t know what you saw, but that wasn’t-”
“Don’t!” She cut him off, the sweet voice he hadn’t heard in so long taking on a sharp edge. “You don’t have to explain anything to me, Professor, trust me. You don’t owe me anything.” He didn’t know what hurt him more, her words or their tone. “It’s none of my business who you chose to fuck.”
He inhaled sharply. He wasn’t used to such vulgarities from her – at least, not outside intimate circumstances. He found it both angered and aroused him.
“I’m not fucking her,” He hissed in reply, his cultured voice low and taut with tension. “Though I’m sure that was her aim.”
“Well, it’s not very gentlemanly of you to leave her waiting like that.” Though the dark-haired woman’s voice was firm, her lower lip trembled slightly, as if she were on the edge of tears –and guilt consumed him. “No need to worry about me. I’ll catch you at a better time.” She attempted to pull away from him only to have him tighten his grip incrementally.
He wasn’t about to let her go now – not after going so long without her. “What did you need, Alice?” He forced his voice to remain neutral, even if there was nothing he’d rather do then toss her over his shoulder and carry him back to his car to desecrate the ever-loving hell out of the back seat. She was gorgeous, even angry, with snowflakes caught in her raven hair, her cheeks flushed with the passion he so adored. “To discuss a thesis, perhaps? Feedback on paper subject?”
To his surprise, Alice jerked from his grip in an unusual show of strength, her eyes gleaming with intense emotion. “You asshole.” The words snapped from her mouth like the crack of a whip. “I’m pregnant.”
For a moment, silence hung, thick between them, swirling among the snow.
Thomas just stared at her, his mouth slightly parted in shock.
She was…what? “…Pardon?” The word left him in a hoarse rush as he stared down at her, completely flummoxed.
The young woman trembled visibly, wrapping the thin sweater she wore more tightly around her chilled form before she spoke again, blue eyes fixed on his. “I wanted you to know…I’m not asking you for anything. It’s just…I suppose that if I’m going to keep the baby, you should know. And if you’re at all interested in seeing him or her…I’m not going to keep you from it.”
“I…” He ran a hand brusquely through his hair, immediately assaulted by a plethora of emotions. “Bloody hell. How long?”
Her arms crossed protectively over her midsection. “Seven…maybe eight weeks. I thought…I thought it was just stress, but then I went to the Doctor and…” Her breath hitched before she released it slowly, breaking his gaze. “Anyway, that’s all. I…I suppose I’ll keep you updated.” With that, she turned on her heel to begin towards the library once more, leaving him staring after her for almost a full min
utes.
Until something within him finally snapped.
He was on her within seconds.
**
“That’s all?”
It was the only warning Alice got before a steel-like arm locked around her waist and dragged her backwards. She yelped as Thomas lifted her from her feet, her heart leaping into her throat. Shock and warmth immediately flowed through her, even as she struggled, and she forced a protest through her lips.
“Thomas, put me down!”
In reply, the man landed a hard swat on her left buttock, and she cried out at the sharp pain. “Sodding Christ, Alice, you’ll close that sweet mouth of yours, or I’ll put your bare arse over my knee in the middle of this damned car park.”
Well, that got her. Alice’s mouth snapped shut as Thomas carried her back across the parking lot to his waiting car. Without a word, he unlocked the passenger side door and bundled her inside before shutting it with a sharp thud that made her jump.
In a trice, he was sliding into the driver’s seat, frowning fiercely. He started the car, barely letting it warm up before he shot out onto the main road.
She had no idea what to say. While it was obvious to the young woman that she’d pissed him off, she didn’t know how she’d done it. She wasn’t asking him for anything. She didn’t want his support; she told herself. She didn’t want a single penny. She just wanted to forget him and the awful pain he caused her.
But, somehow, his severe expression kept her from uttering a word. Instead, she tried not to tell herself how gorgeous he looked, even when he was obviously furious – those dexterous fingers of his curled tightly around the steering wheel, elegant jaw tight, biceps stretching his coat sleeves taut.
They drove for a good ten minutes in complete quiet – not even the radio eased the tension between them. It wasn’t until they pulled into a fairly posh apartment complex across town that Alice found herself squeaking a nervous question. “Where are we?”