by Riley Moreno
‘Why?’ Ashley’s heart plummeted, the happiness she experienced only minutes before, turning sour within her. ‘What is she to you?’
‘Tristan Kincaid,’ the woman said, her voice quite shrill above the music of the fiddlers and pipers. She turned to Ashley. ‘Ashley Mackenzie. I have heard much about you.’ The woman’s lip curled slightly. Tristan was uncharacteristically silent and pale.
‘Who are you?’ Ashley asked.
‘Ask your husband,’ the woman replied.
Ashley turned to Tristan once again saying with false heartiness. ‘Tristan, you must introduce me to our guest.’
Tristan took Ashley’s hand. ‘Ashley, you must go inside and rest. Your health is important and this has been a tiring day so far.’
‘I’m fine, my love,’ Ashley reassured him, though she fought to still the uneasiness churning in the pit of her stomach.
‘I am Rona,’ the woman said, ‘and by your husband’s eyes you already know that I am no stranger to him.’ Rona’s eyes sought Tristan’s. ‘In fact, I have been more familiar with him than you will ever be.’
‘That statement is false and uncalled for,’ Tristan said.
‘What do you take me for, Rona?’ Ashley said, still smiling sweetly, ‘What do you think I am?’
‘You are a hated Mackenzie. And Tristan married you so there would be peace amongst the clans…and to take revenge on Lydell.’
‘Rona,’ Ashley was still smiling, though her emotions were in knots, ‘I beg you not to embarrass yourself at such a fine gathering, and to leave my husband and me alone. I cannot and will not tolerate your lies.’
‘If I lie, why is your husband silent?’ Rona said, her lip curling and her eyes conveying her contempt.
‘Because he is a gentleman and has no wish to create a scene that would mar this occasion for me.’
‘Of course, you carry his child. How obliging. Now the Mackenzies will be bound by honor never to cross swords with you.’
‘Leave us, please,’ Tristan said through lips white and strained, ‘Why would you intrude upon our lives to wreak havoc amongst us?’
Rona came up close to Tristan and looked up into his face. ‘Because I know you would want this. I know you would want to be free of this marriage of convenience. This is a sham, Tristan, and well you know it.’
‘You don’t know me, Rona. And you don’t know Ashley. Leave us pray, or I will be compelled to have you led out of this place.’
‘You’re good at that, aren’t you Tristan? At least you acknowledge the baby your so called wife is carrying, as yours.’
‘What message does that statement thinly veil?’ Ashley asked, pale now, and fighting for composure.
‘You are a woman. You know what I mean.’
‘Tristan, did this woman bear your child?’
‘She bore a child, Ashley. It cannot be mine.’
‘Why? How do you know?’
‘I know. As surely as I know I love you Ashley, I know when I am being tricked, and the child Rona bore is not mine.’
For Ashley, the evening had been ruined. She turned and walked into the castle with her head held high, but her heart heavy with pain. Tristan ran after her.
‘Leave me for now, Tristan,’ Ashley said, ‘I need to be alone.’
‘That woman is lying,’ Tristan said, as they entered the Great Hall. Someone has put her up to it and I am determined to discover who the culprit is.’
‘Do you deny knowing this woman now?’
Tristan shrugged, contrite. ‘I was dishonest with you my darling Ashley. I should have told you about her…and others. I have had many women – that was my life before you came into it…and Rona was one of them.’
‘Except with Rona, it must have been something deeper. Did you love her?’
‘Not in the way I love you, my Ashley,’ Tristan said, pacing to and fro.
‘She said she has been more familiar with you than I will ever be,’ Ashley said, her eyes brimming with tears of sorrow, remorse and righteous anger.
‘She is lying. She was a woman I had and that is all.’
‘How many times?’
‘Do not ask me that!’ Tristan growled in anguish.
‘Tell me, how many times? More times than you had any other woman?’
Tristan nodded. ‘Yes. More times.’
‘Did you want to marry her? Is she a Kincaid?’
‘She is a Kincaid – yes. I did not want to marry her because I doubted her chastity. I had heard she was entertaining other men.’
‘I see,’ Ashley said, and began to walk away. Tristan followed, taking her hand.
‘You are my wife, Ashley. You are the woman I adore. Nobody else ever had that place in my heart, nor will anyone have that place. Rona has come here today at the behest of someone who wishes to do us harm. Can we be strong enough not to allow her to split us apart?’
‘Would you say that even if I were not carrying your child?’
‘Yes,’ Tristan said, his face contorted with distress, ‘Yes, my love, yes, yes!’
Ashley said nothing, but began to climb the steps to their room. But the day’s events had proved to be too much for her and she swooned. Tristan rushed forward to catch her before she crumpled to a heap on the floor, her face ashen.
‘Laren!’ Tristan called, hoping she was not outside with the guests and the dancers. When nobody came, Tristan left Ashley to fetch water and towels and he held her in his arms, bathing her face and rubbing her clammy palms between his, until she came to.
When Ashley emerged from the mists of unconsciousness, she found herself on her bed with Tristan by her side. Her mind flew back to the time she had passed out on the moors and was rescued by Tristan. She had then so quickly managed to forget the horrors of her solitary walk through the icy sheets of rain on the moors when she awoke to Tristan’s ministrations, but this time the memory of what had just transpired seemed to fall about her shoulders like a shroud.
‘Ashley my love,’ Tristan said, stroking her forehead, ‘I am so sorry. Forgive me. Please put Rona from your mind and be happy for our bairn.’
‘Is your heir all you can think of Tristan?’ Ashley said, ‘What about me? What about how I feel after hearing about Rona from the woman herself? I trusted my whole life to you, and suddenly I find your past hurling itself at me. What am I to do Tristan?’
‘You must not ever cease trusting me Ashley. That was my past. You are my present and my future. I promise you that.’
‘Everything has changed in one single moment, Tristan…everything!’ Ashley said, her body convulsed by deep sobs. ‘Everything I ever love is taken from me – my mother, my husband…’
‘I am here, Ashley. I will never leave you.’
‘That woman, Tristan…that woman Rona…she will go after you and she will find a way to break us.’
‘Not if we stand firm in our love and agree not to let her ever come between us, Ashley.’
That night Ashley cried herself to sleep, turning away from her husband and rejecting his caresses. Suddenly she wished she had a family to stand behind her – a father… a brother… a sister….But she had nobody, just Tristan, and at that moment she wondered if she even had him.
CHAPTER IV
Ashley stayed in bed the next day, and the day after. Tristan watched her alternate between bouts of tears and restless sleep, and in between he or Laren would hold a plate up and beg her to eat. Laren fed her morsels of food as she lay on her side forlorn, spiritless.
‘My lady Ashley,’ Laren said concerned, ‘Us women, we need to be stronger than our men. We need to fight these times with spirit. Get up from bed my lady and try to eat. Get your strength back. Stand with your head held high and do more than usual to please the laird so that no enemy can storm your fortress.’
‘What have you heard, Laren? I thought nobody noticed anything unusual at the banquet.’
Laren shuffled uncomfortably. ‘I’m sorry my lady, but I have known about this wo
man Rona.’
Ashley sprang up in bed. ‘You knew? How?’
Laren looked alarmed and guilty all at the same time. ‘The laird would sometimes bring her here.’
‘To this room?’
‘No, no my lady. To another room. She would stay the night and leave in the morning.’
‘How often?’
Laren looked away. ‘Quite frequently, my lady. But he didn’t love her or look at her the way he loves you and looks at you. You are his love, not her.’
‘What makes you so sure he will not tire of me as he did of Rona?’
‘You are his wife.’
‘He could take Rona as a mistress.’
‘I doubt he would do that to you, my lady. The laird has changed since you came through his castle door.’
‘Why did he stop bringing her here? Why did my husband stop seeing that woman?’
‘Because she tried to trick him with a baby that was not his.’
‘And how are you all so sure that the baby was not his?’
‘Because the laird was distracted by his sister’s love affair and failed to see Rona for some length of time…during which she warmed her bed with other men. She was not, and is not, a woman of virtue.’
‘And do you think some enemy of my husband set her up to stage that scene at the banquet?’
Laren nodded. ‘Perhaps. It is possible.’
Ashley sat up suddenly. ‘Laren…those clothes that you gave me to wear when I first came here…and the scented soap I used…to whom did they belong?’
Laren patted Ashley’s hand and smiled. They belonged to Leana – the laird’s sister.’
‘Did Rona ever wear any of Leana’s clothes? Was she a friend to Leana?’
Laren smiled and shook her head. ‘You were the only person to use Leana’s clothes or even her scented soap. Never Rona. She came and went like a lady of the streets. And Leana was not fond of her at all. She and the laird would argue about her coming to the castle. It was Rona who told the laird about Bruce Mackenzie – that Leana was meeting him in secret.’
‘Oh,’ Ashley said.
‘Come, my lady, let’s get you a hot bath and fresh clothes and I will wash your hair and make it pretty for your husband.’
Ashley turned away. ‘I welcome the bath and beautification, but I just do not feel able to be with my husband right now.’
Laren leaned closer to her and whispered, ‘Now is especially important my dear lady. My mama always said it is when a woman is with child that a man’s eyes do stray. You must not let that woman gain the upper hand.’
Ashley bit her lip. ‘Yes, I suppose so,’ she said.
Later, attired in one of the new dresses that Tristan had filled her wardrobes with, Ashley emerged and walked slowly down the stairs.
‘Where is the laird?’ she asked Laren.
‘He is in the Great Hall. A boy has brought some news.’
‘I see,’ Ashley remarked listlessly. ‘I think I will walk in the grounds, Laren.’
She was walking slowly by the arbor, recalling the events of the night of the banquet, when Tristan came to her, his eyes anxiously scanning her face.
‘Are you well, my love?’ He said, taking her into his arms.
Ashley was silent as he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her pale lips. ‘Ashley, I tell you the truth when I say you mean everything to me. Nobody else means anything at all.’
‘Please – I have no wish to talk of that at the moment. I have been in a state of dire distress, and it has taken all the will I have to leave my bed and walk outside.’
Tristan stroked her cheek. ‘Then we will talk of other things.’
‘I heard you have news. What tidings did your informer bring?’
‘That Bruce Mackenzie may be quite closely related to Lydell.’
‘Ah! I knew Lydell was trying to hide something. Whose child is he?’
Tristan shook his head. ‘That will be our next goal – to find out who his parents are. I assume he is illegitimate.’
‘And will you think him even more unequal to your sister if you discover that he is indeed not born within wedlock?’
‘You are referring to your own situation, Ashley. But you were born within wedlock, even if you were conceived outside of it.’
‘I could not be in control of whom my mother chose to bed – but I am sorry that it was Lydell Mackenzie, because I cannot think of a man less worthy of my mother’s love and trust.’
Tristan took her hand. ‘Come let us not talk of Lydell, but of something else.’
‘Has there been progress with the search for Leana?’
Tristan’s face darkened. ‘I am not sure if the news is accurate, but I heard she may be in an Abbey.’
‘Has she retreated from the world?’
‘I do not know,’ Tristan said.
Ashley’s heart went out to her husband and she stroked his hand. ‘I know you torture yourself with the memory of your behavior at the time, but everything happens for a reason, Tristan. Try to forgive yourself. We will find Leana.’
Tristan looked sadly at her. ‘My beautiful bride, how I have missed you!’
Ashley knew she could not keep herself from him much longer. ‘I have missed you too my husband.’ She turned a pair of contemplative eyes on him, ‘Which Abbey is your sister believed to be in?’
‘I do not know the name, just that it is about a day’s journey from here, by horse.’
‘Who is going to find her?’
‘I cannot send someone ahead of me, because if Leana knows I am trying to track her down she may be tempted to run again. I will go myself, of course.’
‘May I come with you?’ Ashley asked.
‘The journey by horse is tedious and the weather is not often so kind as it is just now, my dear. You must stay protected within the castle while I go to find Leana.’
Ashley turned away, a great hollow in her heart. ‘Tristan,’ she said, ‘Will you go with someone other than your wife?’
‘Yes,’ Tristan said, ‘I will take men with me. Not women. Especially not my wife who is in a delicate condition.’
‘I am merely carrying a child, Tristan, not dying of a debilitating disease. Please take me with you…or I will fear that you are hiding a series of trysts with Rona behind a search for your sister.’
Tristan grew red with barely concealed anger. ‘Do you think I am the kind of man who would do that Ashley? Do you think I would use my sister as an excuse to be with a woman whom I have repeatedly told you I have no feelings for? Will you never trust what I say?’
Ashley’s face was wet with tears. ‘I’m sorry, Tristan. I do not know what to trust. I am afraid of the hold that woman has over you. I saw your face when you looked at her. There was fear there.’
Tristan took Ashley roughly by the shoulders. ‘Yes there was fear. Because we were so happy and I did not want that to be taken from us. I knew Rona would try to split us apart and you are allowing her to succeed.’
‘No!’ Ashley sobbed, ‘I just do not know what to believe any more.’
‘I could so easily take you with me but I do not want you to suffer the rigors of the moors in your condition, my darling.’
‘But you will be suffering those rigors.’
‘And I am used to these moors. I grew up on them, Ashley. You are of a far more delicate disposition and you carry our child. If only for the sake of our child, stay home and be safe.’
Tristan folded her in his arms, crushing her body against his. Ashley always felt safe and loved when he did that; always felt completely secure when she leaned against his powerful chest and heard his heart beat strong and loud against her own…but this time she felt only apprehension.
‘When do you leave?’
‘I was only waiting for you to leave your bed before I left. I want to make things right with Leana well before our baby is born or I will not feel right that I am so happy and she is not.’
‘Tristan,’ Ashley said, ‘Were
you not happy yourself when you held Leana prisoner in the castle? Did you make her unhappy because you were not happy?’
‘Are you asking if I was happy with Rona?’ Tristan kissed Ashley’s forehead, eyes and nose. ‘Believe me, my love, when I say that I have never in all my life been happier than I have been with you.’
He led her up to their bedroom, and Ashley bore in mind the advice Laren had given her, but she was aware as she worked to please Tristan, that for the first time since they had been together, she was looking at lovemaking as a way to keep her husband, rather than express her love for him. In her mind she knew she was trying to prove that she was more familiar with his body than Rona had ever been, and Tristan could feel the lack of emotion in their coupling. The fire and passion seemed to have been obscured by a cloud that was Rona, and there was a sadness underlying every kiss and every caress. They both were aware that this was not how it should be, but nothing could shake the wall of mistrust that had grown between them. Ashley struggled to make love to her husband with the same abandon, her mind fraught with anxiety over whether he was comparing her to Rona…and Tristan was overcome with regret at the information he had withheld from his wife. He made love to her again before he kissed her deeply, told her he loved her, and Ashley watched from their bedroom window as her husband galloped away across the moors with two other men to accompany him.
She lay restless in bed, and then rose, dressed, and sat down to a solitary and joyless breakfast, missing Tristan’s laughter and wit; his eyes meeting hers across the table, full of love, of lust, of desire and promise. She had everything in him and yet at that moment she felt empty. Something told her that Lydell was behind their misery and she decided she would pay him a visit. She felt a stab of fear when she thought of him and was glad that the clans were finally at peace, though Tristan had told her there were Kincaid clansmen guarding the castle while he was away.
She ate bannocks and cream and drank a glass of milk, forcing the food down because her melancholy seemed to quell any hunger she should be feeling. Then she called for Laren, and asked her to tell one of the grooms to saddle a horse for her.
‘You should not be riding in your condition,’ Laren said, ‘The laird will be displeased if we let you go anywhere, least of all to Dunnotar Castle!’