Now, she just had to get the customers out of here. Then she and Nikki and Boris and Jackson and Chris would clean up and get ready for the order that would arrive in the morning and let them do it all over again.
Tomorrow stretched ahead of her like eternity.
So many tomorrows to get through without Colin.
Bastard. Molly wasn’t sure if she was cursing him or herself.
“Wait, wait!” Adele rushed forward, excusing herself as she moved through the crowd, carrying her guitar. “Nate and I have a gift for you.”
“What?” Molly looked at Nikki, who grinned, as if she was in on it.
Great. This night needed to end, not be extended.
Adele sat on the chair Molly had just stepped down from, and Nate – also holding a guitar – stood tall beside her.
“We’re doing a little unplugged set because I don’t think we could fit all y’all in here along with even the smallest amp, so forgive us,” said Adele, charming as always. “It’s just a short song we wrote for my sister here, and I hope you like it.”
The TV crew moved forward eagerly. Of course they did. It would play great on Entertainment Tonight or someone else they could package and resell it to. The crowd, so chatty just a few seconds before, quieted, moving back into a semi-circle.
Nate played a simple opening chord progression. Adele joined him, and then they both sang.
One’s in the nest
One’s just flown home,
And one’s still in the storm.
But when she’s back
We’ll hold her tight
And keep her safe and warm.
Songbird brave
Songbird strong
Songbird back where you belong.
Songbird in flight
Songbird at night
One should be flying home.
Two in the nest,
These two won’t rest
Till three are tucked in tight.
Adele’s sweet voice held the last note and it floated over the crowd like a benediction. Molly didn’t know she was crying until she brushed away the wetness on her cheeks. The applause was a solid thing, pushing against her skin in a way she’d totally forgotten about. They were clapping for Adele and Nate, and so was Molly, but it was more than that. Darling Bay was applauding the story of the Songbirds, their Songbirds. No cheering from any stage in the whole wide world had ever sounded exactly like this. It was like her sister had played in front of a family reunion – it was that warm, that bright.
Songbird brave
Songbird strong
Songbird loved where you belong.
It felt like home, and it was the best way possible to end the exhausting, stupendous, heartbreakingly Colin-less night.
CHAPTER FORTY
An hour later, at eleven o’clock, Molly was finally completely alone. She’d managed – barely – to chase away well-meaning helpers. “That’s why I have amazing staff. We’ve got it.” Norma wanted to wash dishes, but Molly didn’t want to have to explain the industrial dishwasher. Adele offered to refill condiments – Nikki was already doing it. Boris had the side work almost done and Jackson was finished cleaning the stove and prep areas. All that was left to do was cleaning the floors, and Molly wanted to do that herself. Alone.
She propped open both the front and rear doors to get the ocean breeze to blow through. The salty night air brought back the evening just a week before, when she’d been with Colin. The air had been cool and damp, like this, when they’d been exploring the folly.
Beautiful and useless, the folly was haunting her.
What would it be like to be that? Like Colin’s mother, prettiest in the county? Like Nikki?
The metaphor ended at beautiful, though. Nikki wasn’t useless. On the contrary, she seemed to be able to do anything she put her mind to. The heating element on the coffee carafe had burned out the day before, and before Molly could call their handyman back, Nikki’d had it taken apart. She’d identified the part that needed replacing and she’d gotten it from the hardware store and installed it before Molly had even really understood what had been broken in the first place. Nikki had fixed a hinge on the walk-in freezer. She’d figured out what was lacking in the leek soup recipe (it had been vinegar). Molly would bet Nikki got her ingenuity from her mother, who’d managed to keep two kids (mostly) safe and sane around a dangerous man.
Was anything really useless? Even an empty shell of a building could be inspiring – showing the hope someone had had long ago. The café had been useless for years as it rotted. Tonight it had brought together a community.
Molly took out the mop bucket and ran scalding-hot water into it. How many times had she mopped this place since she’d arrived almost two months before? And how many times had she done it when she worked that summer for Uncle Hugh? It was hard work. It always had been. Back in the day, the café’s floors had always been sticky and crunchy by the end of a night. Spilled drinks, a beach’s worth of sand tracked by closing time every evening. But it was something to put right. To make good again. Molly had always liked the task.
And tonight was special.
The long-accumulated grime from the café’s dormant years was gone. This was fresh dirt. It came up easily. She felt good about this.
A stab of pain hit her in the solar plexus as she remembered Colin’s face as he’d touched her in his bed. As he’d grinned at her in his office. She gripped the mop tighter and scrubbed at a place where it looked as if a whole cup of hot chocolate had spilled and then been tromped through.
Singing. That would help. The tune Adele had written was still in her mind.
Songbird brave
Songbird strong
Songbird loved where you belong.
She caught a glimpse of herself in the new stainless steel of the double refrigerator. Lovely. Hopefully, she hadn’t looked that bad when she’d talked to the TV people. Her hair was sticking straight up. Sweat and tears had dried on her face so that she looked like she’d been caught in a downpour after running a muddy race. She laughed, but the fact that her reflection looked so sad made her want to cry all over again.
Molly jabbed the mop back into the bucket as hard as she could.
She would get over this.
Get over him – get over being seen by him, being loved by him, being with the man who felt like home.
A sob caught her mid-hope and she scrubbed at another tenacious stain next to the host’s podium.
As she worked, she hummed the song her sister and Nate had sung. Songbird brave, songbird strong…Brave and strong. She’d thought she could find that here. Ha.
When the whole place was spotless and everything was put away, Molly took out a beer from the fridge. The café didn’t have its beer and wine license yet, but Nate had brought over some provisions earlier. This bottle was the only soldier left standing.
She popped off the cap and took it through the dining room. She sat in the doorway on the lintel. The night air cooled her heated face, and she held the bottle to her cheek to help. The Homeless Petes, both of them wobbly on their feet, wandered past. The saloon was still open, but the doors were shut to the cold, and the jukebox had fallen silent. If she held her breath, she could almost hear the waves pounding on the beach.
And Molly sang the last verse that had just come to her, thirty seconds before.
I’m not brave
I’m not strong
I’m not loved, I don’t belong…
It was a good thing no one was around to hear her.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Colin woke with a headache that felt like he’d been drinking shots of rum all night on an empty stomach, instead of doing what he’d actually done, which was sit on his back porch with his damn guitar, strumming chords that didn’t sound good with each other, trying not to think of the woman he was in love with, the one he wouldn’t be able to trust ever again.
He made a pot of coffee and a plan to drink the whole thing before he left for the d
epartment. He had a meeting at ten and was interviewing two hopeful new rookies at noon. But then he might pull some vacation hours and come back home.
There had to be something to do to take his mind off Molly.
He fed Asiago.
He stroked her, wondering if her purr was getting louder or if that was just his imagination.
He cleaned the box.
Seven minutes later, he was out of things to do again.
Maybe he’d clean his guns. Then maybe he’d go murder some tin cans on the back forty behind the house. He was far enough outside city limits that no one would complain, and besides, who was going to whine about the sheriff plinking the hell out of some tomato cans?
His front door banged open, and he put a hand to his gunless hip. But a burglar, even one as inept as the Darling Bay burglars tended to be, would never make as much noise as this one did.
Colin felt hope flood his veins for one second, hot and bright.
Then his sister yelled, “You’re such an asshole!”
His chin sank to his chest, and he exhaled, willing his heart to stop racing. “You want coffee?”
“Of course I do.” Nikki barreled into the kitchen wearing a black T-shirt that read The Golden Spike Café.
“Get a cup.”
When she turned to reach in the cupboard for a mug, he read the back of her shirt. Get Nailed at the Golden Spike.
“Classy shirt.”
She turned, mug full, her expression as dark as her coffee. “Where’s your computer?”
He jerked a thumb towards the couch. “Why?”
She opened the laptop and poked at the keys. “Come here.”
“What’s wrong with you? Let me see your face. Did he get to you?”
“Jesus.” Nikki hiked her casted arm up, waving it at him. “I’m fine. I haven’t seen him. That’s not why I’m here.”
“Of course not.”
She spun the computer to face him. “Hit “play”.”
“TMZ? I’m not as into Kardashian gossip as you are.” But it wasn’t a Kim or a Kourtney. It was a Darling Songbird. His songbird. Colin’s heart dropped to his stomach.
“Play.”
He hit the button.
A man spoke over the images, his voice amped up and amused. Two of the three Darling Songbirds are reunited! In the small beach town in Northern California that bears their family name, it seems they might have hit the skids a little harder than anyone had predicted until now. An affiliate of ours gave us this footage from just hours ago. The oldest Darling, Adele, and her new bartender lovebird, gave an impromptu concert at the newly reopened Golden Spike Café.
The camera showed Adele and Nate singing to each other, smiling into each other’s eyes in front of a good-sized crowd of people.
“That’s definitely more than room capacity.”
“Shut up,” Nikki growled. “Watch.”
The angle switched, and Molly smiled shyly at the reporter.
You look like you’ve lost weight – quite a lot. The clip broke for a second. Diet secrets?
Oh, God, they couldn’t do this to her.
But then she answered. I recommend hot sex. A lot of it.
Can we have a name?
Whoever! Her voice was thin, and patently, ridiculously false-sounding.
“What the –?”
“Keep watching.”
The after party was what caught our eye. Molly Darling, looking road worn and – what’s that in her hand? Yep, she’s drinking solo again, singing by herself on the sidewalk.
“She’s not on the sidewalk. She’s in the doorway.” Colin leaned closer to the screen. Molly looked exhausted. Even in the low light, he could make out dark circles under her eyes, circles that matched the ones he’d seen in the mirror when he woke up.
“Just watch.”
Is she high on something? Or just too sozzled to notice our camera? We can’t tell, but we can tell she’s one thing for sure: heartbroken.
Molly’s voice was heard singing thinly:
I’m not brave
I’m not strong
Colin’s heart froze in his chest.
I’m not loved, I don’t belong
A grainy close-up followed – the camera had obviously been far away enough that she’d had no idea it was there. It was a miracle they’d caught her voice at all, and the distance didn’t do it any favors. Her expression looked like she was a second away from bawling.
Just about the way he felt at that moment, too.
As the clip ended and an ad for a health spa began, he slammed the computer shut. “What the hell is this?”
“You have to ask me that?” Nikki jabbed a finger into his chest.
It hurt. “Excuse me?” All of it hurt.
“You’ve broken her heart, you selfish bastard.”
“Oh, come on. You’re surprised? I’m like Dad, right? Just say it if you’re going to say it. I already know it, after all.” He stood and put himself on the other side of the living room from her. Outside the glass, the sky was a clear pale blue all the way out to the horizon, but a line of seagulls was headed inland, flying in low. The weather was coming in, a big storm by the low-pressure feeling he had in his head. The folly was out of sight, below the cliff to the east. Maybe it would be such a big storm it would take the old building all the way out. Once and for all. Rip it apart, girder by lacy girder. “If anything, she broke mine.”
“I don’t think you have one to break. Not anymore. Not after what you did to her.”
“What I did? She broke a promise she made to me. A promise about your safety, by the way.”
“What about her safety?”
The question didn’t make sense, and it rattled in his head as if the words were just beach stones she’d thrown at him. “What?”
“Did you bully her? Is that why you think you’re Dad?”
“Did she tell you I did?”
“She didn’t have to. I know you. You walked in, you yelled at her about helping me, which was none of your damn business, actually.”
“My business? Hell, yes, it was. You went out of your way to make it my business when you lied to Kalamas County. The charge will never stick. Did you think of that at all?”
Nikki raised her fists, shaking them in the air. For a second, she looked like their dad, and the strangeness of it startled him worse than anything else.
Apples. So close to the tree.
She made a strangled sound and lowered her arms. “Of course I thought of that! You think I’m helpless, like Mom was. You have me pegged, and you’ve had me that way since I was what, seventeen?”
“Since the first time you got arrested for being drunk in public by our father, yes.”
“Yeah, well, that was just a publicity stunt he put on for his next election.”
Chuck McMurtry was so tough on crime he would arrest his own daughter. Yeah, that stunt had worked, too, if only to remind people where the McMurtrys were in the social stratosphere: Chuck had turned himself around. He was working on straightening out his kids, even if he had to put them in jail himself. The rest of the clan were drunk-in-public trash, always had been.
What the public didn’t know was how Chuck had been sober-in-private trash, too. “You can’t see it the same way I do, I know. You’re his daughter, and he had to be hard on you.”
“So I could get used to it? And I did.” She pointed to her arm. “Do you really still think that I learned this just from watching him hit Mom?”
Colin shook his head. “He only hit you that one time, though.” Their father had whaled on him and their mother. But only once had he hit Nikki. The time their mother had helped her up, telling her she’d just fallen.
“You idiot. He hit me all the time.” Her voice was soft, but it had the effect of a scream.
“No. No – I would have protected you…” It was an explosion of the soul.
“Oh, Colin. You couldn’t have. You were just a kid. You were too young, and too busy being
out of the house and getting away from him. I never blamed you for that.”
“Nikki – I didn’t know. Jesus, Nik–”
“We all have our demons, that’s the thing. All of us. What did you tell Molly when you last saw her?”
Colin’s head felt like it was going to split open like a ripe watermelon struck by a .45 hollow point. “That I couldn’t trust her.”
“Do you actually believe that?”
He pictured Molly’s face. Her open, trusting, gorgeous, happy face. Of course he didn’t. He shook his head. Molly was so trustworthy she’d protected his sister. From him. “I can’t trust myself.” They felt like the truest words he’d ever spoken.
Nikki fell onto his couch cushions with a sigh as big as the waves that blew into Stine’s Cove. “Oh, my God. You’re my brother and I’ll stick up for you, but you are as big an idiot about her as I’ve been about Todd.”
“Yeah, well, you’re trying to get over him.”
“I’m going to succeed, thank you very much. I’m getting the last of my stuff out of his place later today.”
He turned from the window to face her. “With my help.”
Asiago leaped up to sit in Nikki’s lap. She stroked the cat with a half-smile. “This little thing is adorable. And yeah, with some officer’s help. I don’t expect Todd’ll be there, but they said to get a citizen standby, is that what it’s called?”
“Yeah. And I’ll do it.”
“Figured you would insist.”
“Hell, yes. You’ll finally let me take care of you if I have to arrest you myself.”
Nikki smiled, and she looked so young in the early-morning sun flooding the couch. He remembered her yellow footie pajamas, the ones with the palm trees on them. He hadn’t thought of those for years.
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