by Heidi Swain
Suddenly our cosy chat had veered off down a path that was heading in a far more serious direction.
‘Well,’ I told her, ‘I thought we were a perfect match, didn’t I? Plenty of people had told me that he had a reputation to rival Casanova, but I also knew I still had a reputation myself, even though I’d lived a fairly blameless life for almost a decade.’
Molly nodded but didn’t say anything.
‘My parents, Dad especially, were always going on about how lucky I was to have a man, especially one as popular and good looking as Gavin, show interest in me, and I believed them. Who else was going to hitch their wagon to a girl who had had a fling with her teacher and ended up pregnant to boot?’
I felt my face begin to burn and knew there had been no need to say that last bit out loud. Molly knew the deal without me having to reiterate it.
‘And as you’ve told me on more than one occasion,’ I went on, ‘the heart wants what the heart wants. I fell in love with him.’ I shrugged. ‘I believed in him, and us. I really thought that he was the one.’
The one who was good enough for a girl like me at least.
‘I’m so sorry,’ Molly whispered.
‘Me too,’ I told her. ‘I know we all make mistakes,’ I went on, thinking how unnecessary it had been to restate the embellished details of my past, ‘but Gavin’s public humiliation was unforgivable. I’ve had enough of being the town joke.’
There were tears in Molly’s eyes when I looked at her. The softened model of me would have probably succumbed to a long and loud wail at that point, but the reprised me was dry-eyed and determined. Perhaps a part of me even thought I deserved what had happened.
‘Don’t look like that, Molly,’ I told her. ‘I’m fine.’
She didn’t look so sure.
‘I’m back to my old self,’ I said brightly. ‘Sassy, full of swag and sworn off men.’
‘Really?’
‘Well, for a year or so at least,’ I confirmed. ‘If a no-strings hunk shows up after that, then maybe, maybe, I’ll force myself to take him on. But, in the meantime, I’m going no further than a mild flirtation.’
‘But you said you want what Anna and Jamie have got?’
‘Wanted,’ I said with emphasis, to make sure she understood I meant the past tense. ‘It was what I wanted. I gave it a shot and it was a disaster so I’m washing my hands of the whole idea. In fact,’ I went on, ‘I’m rather hoping you’re going to tell me about this great thing you told Anna you saw galloping in my direction, because I could sure use something other than a man to get stuck into right now.’
Chapter 10
In spite of my pleading, Molly refused to go into specifics.
‘It’s Samhain in a couple of days,’ she reminded me instead. ‘The start of a brand-new cycle and I would advise you to throw yourself wholeheartedly into whatever comes your way after Hallowe’en. Remember, Hayley, it’s your responsibility to make the most of every new opportunity that presents itself.’
‘Well, I’ve already made a start with that, haven’t I?’ I reminded her. ‘I moved out of town today and into the hall.’
‘And that is a great start,’ Molly agreed, ‘but I’m fairly certain there’s going to be even more on offer to you in the next few weeks than a change of address.’
‘Are you talking about getting stuck into helping with the Winter Wonderland that Angus has been scheming about, by any chance?’
‘Perhaps,’ said Molly, staring dreamily into the fire. ‘I mean, anything that requires babysitting Angus tends to focus the attention and stop one dwelling on other things, doesn’t it?’
I could tell I was beginning to lose her. Once she started flame-watching you could be fairly certain you weren’t going to get any more sense out of her.
‘Right,’ I said, putting my mug on the table next to the tarot pack. ‘I’m going to head back.’
‘Already?’ she blinked, her eyes returning to me. ‘You’ve only just arrived.’
‘I know,’ I said, ‘but if I sit here much longer I’ll nod off, and I’ve already lost half the day catching up on my sleep.’
Walking through the woods, I felt a definite nip in the air, which, I was sure, seemed all the more intense having left Molly’s warm fireside. I wrapped my jacket tighter around myself and set off with Bran sticking close to my side and the crisp autumn leaves crunching underfoot. We hadn’t gone far before the dog stopped dead in his tracks, his nose twitching in a completely different direction to the one leading to the hall. I hoped he hadn’t caught the scent of a rabbit or anything else he might fancy tearing off after. My little legs would be no match for his lengthy strides, and I didn’t want to lose him.
‘Come on, Bran,’ I encouraged, using my most persuasive tone. ‘We need to go this way, mate.’
He didn’t budge.
‘Bran,’ I said again, this time in the sing-song voice that always worked a treat on Suki. ‘Come on.’
Ignoring me completely, he set off along his preferred path leaving me no option but to follow. With no lead or collar to cling to, I was powerless to do anything other than cross my fingers and keep him in sight.
‘If I’d known you were going to lead me astray,’ I called after him, as a soft breeze began to stir the branches and the birds fell silent, ‘I would have left you at Molly’s.’
He quickened his pace as we headed deeper into the woods, and my chest began to heave as I struggled to keep up with him. Just when I was beginning to think I was heading for trouble, he let out a deep bark and tore off around a corner and completely out of view.
‘Bran!’ I called. ‘Wait!’
I gave chase as fast as I could, wearing wellies that were slightly too large.
‘It’s all right!’ a voice called back just seconds later. ‘I’ve got him.’
I bowled into the clearing and found Gabe standing in front of the woods’ very own Wishing Tree with Bran on his back legs, his front paws on his master’s shoulders.
‘You bugger,’ I puffed, bending to cradle the stitch in my side as the dog wagged his tail and looked incredibly pleased with himself. ‘I thought I’d lost you.’
‘He must have known I was here,’ said Gabe, gazing at Bran’s smile in bewilderment as he patted his sides and gave him a rub. ‘Do you know, I reckon there’s something a bit funny about this dog.’
‘Oh yeah,’ I said, finally straightening back up. ‘He’s hilarious.’
Bran dropped back to all fours and padded over to me, his pink tongue lolling.
‘You should have your own stand-up act, boy,’ I told him. ‘You’d make an absolute fortune.’
The gentle tinkling and rustling of the numerous flags, keys, letters and trinkets that adorned the tree drew our attention and I went and stood next to Gabe.
‘Do you know what this is?’ I asked him. I sometimes forgot that not everyone was familiar with the folklore.
‘Yes,’ he said, clearing his throat. ‘It’s a Wishing Tree, isn’t it?’
‘That’s right. Molly says the breeze is always here because it carries away the wishes,’ I explained. ‘Even on the stillest summer afternoon, there’s always some movement.’
Gabe nodded and I thought of the things I had added to the tree myself. I hadn’t had any luck with wish-fulfilment so far, but I wasn’t going to give up on the magic my wood-dwelling friend insisted existed here just yet.
‘Have you ever made a wish here?’ Gabe asked.
‘Just one or two,’ I swallowed, trying not to look too hard at the tree for fear of spotting my own tokens.
They might have only been inanimate objects, but everyone who added something to the tree’s broad branches packed their offerings with silent prayers and the deepest desires they carried in their hearts. This was not the place that folk came to ask for a lottery win. This clearing and this tree offered something far more precious than anything money could buy.
Peace, understanding, the fulfilment of a hard-worked-f
or goal and good health were far more highly valued here than pounds and pence.
‘Do you want to make a wish?’ I asked Gabe, to stop myself dwelling on the words I myself had whispered on more than one occasion. ‘I’ll help you if you like,’ I added, rifling through my pockets for something he could add to the tree.
‘No,’ he said quickly, ‘thank you, but not today.’
I waited to see if he was going to explain why. I might not have been the most patient person in the world, but I had learned that if you didn’t automatically rush into filling the silences in a conversation, then quite often the other person would, and in the process, would share far more than they meant to. I had no desire to try to trick Gabe into revealing his secrets, but his zipped-up baggage and the look on his face when I turned up at Molly’s, had led me to believe that he might, perhaps, need a shoulder to lean on that didn’t belong to his humungous hound.
‘Perhaps I might one day,’ he carried on, ‘but, between you and me, right now I’m still chasing a wish that can’t possibly come true, so it wouldn’t be fair to ask the tree, or the universe, for something it could never give me.’
I had no intention of launching into a rousing ‘nothing is impossible’ speech because I knew for myself that some things simply weren’t possible. When I had my miscarriage, I had spent months wishing it hadn’t happened, wishing that I could turn the clock back and perhaps find a way to stop it, praying that I could bite back some of the things I had said. But there are some things in life that aren’t meant to be altered, they were meant to happen, even though they ripped your very soul in two, and there was little point in pretending otherwise to either Gabe or myself.
‘Shall we head back then?’ I suggested. ‘I reckon it must be time for tea by now.’
Gabe pulled back the sleeve of his jumper to look at his watch.
‘Crikey,’ he tutted, ‘it’s far later than I realised. Do you know the way back from here?’
‘Like the back of my hand.’
During our walk back through the woods, Gabe explained about the sort of work Jamie had asked him to take on at the hall.
‘Basically, it’s going to be Forest School meets Ray Mears, with some very subtle counselling and lots of opportunities for informal chats thrown in for good measure,’ he told me. ‘Plenty of campfires, den building, sleeping out under the stars and woodland crafting. That sort of thing.’
In some ways it sounded similar to what Mick had been offering, but with extra nurture sessions as the added ingredient.
‘I want to get the kids to connect with nature,’ Gabe said enthusiastically, ‘and get them talking in a different environment. Four walls and a table are all very well, but not all kids can open up in a formal setting. A friendly chat while gathering wood for the camp will suit some far better.’
I could understand that. I had experienced first-hand the well-meaning head bobs, concerned knitted brows and unwavering eye contact that could make a kid clam up. The baking sessions Dorothy had offered some of the kids had proved far more productive than the prescribed appointments, and not just because of the tasty results that came out of the Aga at the end of them.
‘Oh, wow,’ gasped Gabe. ‘Would you look at that?’
The conversation I had overheard in the kitchen had just popped back into my head and I was just about to ask Gabe what qualified him to do the job, but hearing the rapture in his voice I decided I’d ask another day.
‘Not bad, is it?’ I smiled, following his line of sight to the biggest oak tree the Wynthorpe estate had to offer.
‘Not bad!’ He laughed, rushing forward and spreading his hands over the bark. ‘Not bad! However old is it?’
‘No idea,’ I shrugged, as my eyes scanned its mighty heights.
The ground beneath the tree was littered with leaves and there were still a few acorns that had escaped the squirrels’ attention. I bent to scoop a couple of the seeds up. They were still in their cups and the acorns themselves felt smooth in my fingers. I handed one to Gabe and put the other one in my pocket. Something I hadn’t done for years.
‘I wouldn’t have put you down as a tree hugger,’ I told him, ‘having witnessed first-hand the way you laid waste to those logs back at the cottage.’
I felt my face redden a little as I remembered the sight of Gabe stripped to the waist swinging his axe, the defined muscles in his back and shoulders flexed and taut.
‘Well, I am,’ he grinned. ‘I’m a fully paid-up tree hugger, I’m afraid, Hayley, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not prepared to make use of every bit of a tree once it has seen out its time.’
He was resourceful as well as respectful, then – two traits I could get onboard with.
‘Here,’ he said, reaching out and catching my arm.
‘No way,’ I said, taking a step back. ‘You’re not roping me in. Molly’s the girl for you if this is what you’re into.’
‘Come on,’ he insisted, trying to edge me closer to the twisted trunk. ‘How will you know you don’t like it if you’ve never tried?’
‘Yeah, right,’ I laughed, ‘that’s what all the boys say.’ But I gave in anyway and stepped within reach again.
‘You’re incorrigible,’ Gabe laughed back. ‘Do you know that?’
‘Of course I do. It’s what I’m famous for around here.’
Amongst other things, but this wasn’t the moment to get into that.
Gabe shook his head.
‘Here,’ he said, taking my hand in his before placing it flat on the trunk of the tree. ‘Can you feel that?’
The palm of his hand felt warm pressed against the back of mine. I could feel something, but I wasn’t sure it had anything to do with the tree.
‘Can you feel how smooth it is?’
‘Uh-huh,’ I nodded, looking everywhere except at him.
‘This big fella is slowing down for the winter,’ he carried on. ‘Getting ready for the long rest. Something we should all be thinking about, really.’
‘With an Angus on the loose in the run-up to Christmas,’ I said huskily, ‘there’s no chance of that.’
Gabe didn’t comment, but slid his palm gently along the length of my fingers, and when I finally dared to look at him, he was staring down at me.
‘We should get back,’ I whispered, shocked by the intimacy in his touch. ‘Dorothy will be wondering where we’ve got to.’
‘OK,’ he breathed, moving his hand away, but not taking his eyes off mine. ‘Sorry.’
The skin on the back of my hand felt cold without the pressure of his and I put it in my jacket pocket, turning over the smooth little acorn as, with Bran at our heels, we walked the rest of the way in companionable silence.
‘At last,’ tutted Dorothy when we eventually entered the kitchen. ‘I’d all but given up on you three.’
‘We were in the woods,’ said Gabe.
Anna’s head snapped up from the paperwork she was looking through, her eyes flicking between Gabe and me.
‘Bran got away from me when I was walking back from Molly’s,’ I quickly added.
The last thing I wanted was Anna thinking we had set out on a walk together. If I gave her even just a second, she’d start putting two and two together and coming up with the wrong answer, but if I wasn’t careful, my paranoia would lead her to the wrong conclusion anyway.
‘I’m beginning to think he has super-human powers, this one,’ Gabe went on, rubbing Bran under the chin. ‘He ran away from Hayley and came straight for me. Goodness knows how he knew where I was.’
‘So, Bran led you straight to Gabe did he, Hayley?’
I busied myself taking off my jacket and hanging it over the back of a chair. Had she really forgotten that I had literally just ducked out of the shortest engagement ever known in these parts and was nursing a broken heart?
‘He did, didn’t he?’ Gabe laughed, completely oblivious to what she was implying, assuming, of course, that I wasn’t reading too much into it.
&nb
sp; Just in the nick of time, Catherine came into the kitchen and saved me from protesting too much.
‘How did you get on in town this morning?’ she asked. ‘I hope it wasn’t all too traumatic for you, my dear.’
Gabe and I took our seats around the table with the others. I explained how Mum had been there and a little of what she had said, along with the update from the pub and details of what I hoped was to be my final encounter with Gavin.
‘You really are an angel, then,’ Anna said to Gabe once I had told them about how he’d tackled Gavin. ‘Even if your approach is a little unorthodox.’
‘Unorthodox or not, it was no less than Gavin deserved,’ Angus shocked me by saying.
‘Are you sure you haven’t got wings under that jumper, Gabe?’ Anna went on and everyone laughed.
‘I promise,’ he said, laughing at the sentiment. ‘Hayley can vouch for that.’
‘Can she now?’ tutted Dorothy.
‘Yep,’ I said, thinking it best to brazen it out, ‘I can confirm there’s not so much as a feather in sight. There are some mighty fine muscles and a pair of powerful shoulders, but no feathers.’
Now it was Gabe’s turn to flush red.
‘Well, I think that’s quite enough of that,’ said Dorothy, fanning herself with the tea towel. ‘Now, who wants more cake?’
‘I’ll have a slice please,’ I answered. ‘I’m going to need some extra calories inside me to lug my stuff upstairs.’
‘Oh, yes, now I’m pleased you’ve mentioned your things,’ said Catherine. ‘Because I wanted to talk to you about the Rose Room, Hayley.’
I hoped she wasn’t going to offer it to me on a permanent basis. As pretty as it was, for some reason I couldn’t relax in it. It didn’t feel right for me, somehow.
‘How are you settling in?’ asked Anna. ‘I loved staying in it. In fact, now I know how slapdash Jamie is with bed-making and filling the laundry basket, I sometimes wish I hadn’t moved out of it.’
‘Hey!’ pouted Jamie. ‘I’m not that bad.’