by Heidi Swain
The closer he held me, however, the less amusing the lyrics began to sound, and the less drunk I began to feel, but he didn’t seem to notice. The comforting feel of his firm body pressed close to mine, coupled with the woody scent of his aftershave and his freshly washed hair, was beginning to do funny things to my insides.
In spite of my very best efforts to shut down my heart and its desire to love and be loved, it was suddenly determined to have its own way. I was shocked to realise that lust wasn’t the only thing on the menu.
‘Gabe,’ I muttered, trying to push him away, before my feelings ran away with me. ‘I really should be making a move.’
‘You are making moves,’ he said, pulling me back into him. ‘Great moves.’
‘Not that sort of move, you idiot,’ I said, laughing again because he sounded so serious.
‘You should laugh all the time,’ he said, stopping mid-twirl and looking down at me. ‘You have a great laugh.’
‘Do I?’ I swallowed.
Where were these unexpected emotions welling up from? They were unfounded and unwanted and I quickly put them down to my drink-induced state.
‘You do.’
‘Well, so do you.’
‘You don’t have to say that,’ he sighed, ‘because I know it’s not that great. It’s been out of practice for a while.’
‘Has it?’ I breathed. ‘Why?’
‘It’s had its reasons,’ he said non-committally, before twirling me again, faster this time, ‘but you’ve woken it up again, Hayley. I really can’t remember the last time I laughed so much. It’s been a great evening.’
The alcohol had certainly played its part in breaking down some of Gabe’s barriers, but he was right, we had more than made the most of missing out on the fireworks in town.
‘It has been a great evening,’ I agreed, because it had.
Truth be told, I didn’t think I wanted it to end. I would have been quite happy for it to carry on upstairs and run long into the wee small hours. So much for telling Dorothy I was going to wait before looking out for some no-strings fun, but I knew I couldn’t act on my instincts. Spending the night with Gabe could well end up ruining a relationship with not only a work colleague, but now a very near neighbour as well. I needed to sober up and draw a line under proceedings sharpish.
‘But now I really have to go,’ I said, placing a hand on Gabe’s firm chest to try to push him away.
‘How about a goodnight kiss first?’ he asked, running a finger lightly down my cheek. ‘Just to make the evening really perfect.’
It was on the tip of my tongue to suggest a small one, one that couldn’t last more than three seconds, when my jeans pocket started to vibrate.
‘It’s my phone,’ I said pulling away properly this time.
‘Well, that’s a relief,’ Gabe grinned.
I looked at the screen. It was a text from Gavin. Talk about timing.
‘Anything important?’ Gabe asked.
‘Nothing that can’t wait,’ I told him, stuffing the phone back in my pocket without reading the message. ‘But I really must go. It’s late. The others will be back and I didn’t leave a note.’
‘That’ll be a no to the goodnight kiss, then,’ Gabe sighed, reluctantly helping me into my coat.
‘Oh, I wouldn’t say that,’ I said shakily, stretching up to peck him chastely on the cheek. ‘How about that?’
‘That’ll be fine,’ he grinned. ‘For now.’
Chapter 13
As luck would have it, the others weren’t back from town and I managed to sneak up the many stairs and into bed before I heard the cars pulling into the courtyard. In spite of my spinning vision, which was made far worse when I closed my eyes, I thankfully drifted off to sleep and woke early the next morning with the classic ‘tongue too large for mouth’ hangover and a hundred ‘what the hell is going on’ questions thumping through my head.
‘Are you all right, love?’ asked Dorothy as I stumbled through our sitting room, across the corridor and into the bathroom. ‘You look a bit peaky.’
‘I’m fine, Dorothy, thanks,’ I told her, despite feeling anything but. The sound of my voice hammered loudly in my head. ‘I’ll be down as soon as I’ve had a shower.’
The hot water streaming down my body felt like a harsh pummelling, which was quite something as the hall wasn’t famous for its water pressure, and I stood under it, trying to wash away the muddled emotions that had stuck with me right from the instant Gabe had held me in his arms.
For one mad moment I had thought I was falling in love, but I wasn’t, was I? The way I felt when I was with Gabe was nothing like I’d felt when I was with Gavin, so it couldn’t possibly be the real thing. Damn and blast the Somerville clan and their infamous Skylark cider. One of these days it really would be someone’s undoing, and then they’d be sorry!
‘Don’t forget Angus has organised the Christmas planning meeting for this morning,’ Dorothy called through to me as she bustled about, efficient as ever, getting ready to start her day.
‘He hasn’t wasted any time, has he?’ I muttered, pulling open the bathroom door as I secured my towel.
‘Nope,’ Dorothy replied, rushing to hand me a small glass of water and two painkillers. ‘You looked like you might need these.’
I guessed she was thinking that, perhaps, I really did have a headache yesterday after all. I decided not to correct her. I had no intention of telling anyone that I had spent fireworks night drinking my own body weight in fermented apple juice and playing with fire.
‘Thanks,’ I said, gratefully swallowing the pills down. The chalky tablets and the taste of the water almost sent them back up again, but I fought down the desire to hurl and handed back the glass. ‘I bet Catherine was hoping he’d forget all about her suggestion to talk about his latest festive scheme after bonfire night was out of the way.’
‘I happen to know that’s exactly what she was hoping,’ Dorothy tutted. ‘But there was never really going to be any chance of that, was there?’
‘Nope.’
‘Everyone knows we’re going to be busy enough as it is, what with hosting the tree competition and the party.’
‘Everyone except Angus, that is,’ I reminded her as she headed off to the kitchen.
We had been beyond busy with various events over the Christmas period once before, but that hadn’t stopped Angus making the month of December even more of an occasion, and I was in no doubt that the already-packed calendar wouldn’t stop him this time around, either, especially given that Jamie had sounded in favour of whatever it was his dad was planning. As far as I was concerned, the Winter Wonderland Angus had been dreaming up was already a done deal.
I walked into the kitchen at exactly the same moment Gabe arrived with the insulated bag I had used to ferry dinner over to his cottage. Dorothy whisked it out of his hand, the dishes clanking inside as she gave me a knowing look, but thankfully didn’t comment.
So much for keeping my cider-and-sparkler-filled evening under wraps.
‘Hey, Hayley,’ said Gabe hoarsely. His gravelly tone sounded about as good as I looked, in spite of the valiant efforts of my make-up bag. ‘Can I have a quick word?’
‘Of course,’ I said, steering him back towards the door and ignoring the fact that the eagle-eyed housekeeper was locked on to our every move. ‘Let’s talk outside, shall we?’
It was a bitter morning and the wind was keen so we ducked – literally in Gabe’s case – into the log store, where I was certain we wouldn’t be overheard. For some reason, I found it impossible to look him in the eye so I fiddled about with the kindling bags.
‘About last night . . .’ he began, rubbing his hands through his beard.
‘I had a great time,’ I cut in. ‘At least, I think I did. To tell you the truth, it’s all a bit hazy.’
‘We did have a great time,’ Gabe chuckled. ‘If the number of empty cider bottles littering the cottage kitchen this morning are to be believed, then we ha
d a fantastic time.’
We both laughed and I gingerly shook my head. It was hardly any wonder I felt so groggy. I was going to have to dig out my ear plugs before I even thought about switching on the vacuum cleaner, and god help Gabe if he had to fire up the chainsaw.
‘So, what’s up?’
Something obviously was and I wanted to deal with it and get back to the kitchen as quickly as possible. Not because I was uncomfortable alone in Gabe’s company, but because it was so bloody cold.
‘Well,’ he awkwardly began, ‘it’s about how the evening ended.’
‘Disappointingly’ was the first word that sprang to mind, but I swiftly kicked the term into touch and replaced it with ‘sensibly’.
‘Oh,’ I said, ‘do you mean the kiss?’
The colour began to rush to Gabe’s face, as well as my own, and I knew the only way to keep a handle on what was happening was to brazen it out.
‘I can’t say it was one of my finest,’ I hurried on, ‘but given that we barely know each other—’
Gabe cleared his throat and the words died in my mouth.
‘I’m sorry, Gabe,’ I told him, knowing that I had gone too far and that it wasn’t his fault that he’d prematurely kickstarted my heart. If indeed that was what was going on. ‘I keep forgetting that you don’t know me that well.’ I rambled on. ‘I’m well-known around here for using humour in awkward situations so you’ll have to forgive me if I sound flippant or flirtatious. It’s just the way I am.’
That was perfectly true and I expected my explanatory speech, which I had tried to inject with a sprinkling of unrehearsed humour, to turn the corners of Gabe’s luscious, full lips a little in the right direction at least, but he looked no happier at all.
‘And you don’t know me that well either,’ he sighed, burying his hands deep in his trouser pockets. ‘Amongst other things, I’m feeling embarrassed, Hayley.’
‘What?’ I laughed, before realising that wasn’t the reaction he was hoping for. ‘Why?’ I added, more seriously. ‘What on earth have you got to feel embarrassed about?’
‘Well, the fact that I even asked you for a kiss, for a start,’ he blurted out. ‘That’s not the kind of bloke I am. I think the copious amounts of cider we consumed lowered my inhibitions a little too far.’
There had been a moment, as I recalled, when I was happy to wonder what might have happened had they been lowered even further.
‘I might, thanks to the assistance of an unprecedented amount of alcohol,’ he continued, ‘have come across as being too up for a laugh, and willing to indulge in considerably more than a bit of banter.’
‘And where was the harm in that?’ I cut in, trying to lighten his load. ‘Nothing happened, did it?’ I added. ‘We survived to flirt another day.’
Whatever was wrong with him? He sounded as if he was feeling guilty for having a few minutes of unguarded fun. Was having a bit of a giggle something he really should have been feeling so bad about? Had he known of the maelstrom I was currently trying to manage, he would have considered himself to have gotten off very lightly indeed.
‘But I should never have asked you to kiss me,’ he carried on. ‘That was taking things a long way too far. I was too drunk to realise it at the time, but I took advantage of the situation and I’m sorry. I don’t go in for casual relationships,’ he went on, turning redder with every word. ‘Not that I’m suggesting we would have had a casual relationship.’
‘A one-night stand, you mean?’
‘You’re not helping, Hayley.’
‘Sorry.’
‘Especially since you’ve just come straight out of a serious relationship and I’m—’
‘Gabe,’ I said, louder than I meant to, especially given the precarious pain in my head, and before he had a chance to explain further. ‘You need to lighten up, my friend.’
‘Do I?’ He didn’t sound so sure.
‘Yes,’ I laughed. ‘We had a great evening, we laughed, we enjoyed each other’s company, we got more drunk than either of us have probably been in a very long time, and the night ended with a one-second peck on the cheek.’
I was trying to convince my heart as well as his head that that was all that had happened.
‘I guess,’ he said, scratching the back of his neck. ‘I suppose I am getting it a bit out of proportion. It could have been worse, couldn’t it?’
‘Believe me,’ I told him. ‘It could have been a lot worse.’
Had I slept with him, I really could have fallen for him, and then where would we have ended up? I might have opted to let him and everyone else think that I was going back to being some good-time girl. I might have even believed it myself for a few days, but, truth be told, I wasn’t sure that was the right course now. Listening to Gabe tell me he wasn’t a fan of no-strings fun was music to my currently painful ears. A melody I was very happy to hear, but what if I ended up liking him more than he liked me?
I could think of many things in life that would be worse than a committed relationship with the angel currently floating in front of me, but given his dogged determination to backtrack and apologise for the little that had happened between us, I didn’t think he felt the same about me.
‘It’s just that I really like you, Hayley,’ he then completely floored me by saying, knocking my theory for six.
‘And I really like you,’ I swallowed.
The words were out before I could check them. They’d burst out of me like some sort of involuntary reflex.
‘Morning, guys! Are you all set for the meeting?’
‘Molly?’
‘Hey,’ she grinned, her face appearing around the doorframe. ‘What are you doing in here?’
‘Checking we’re going to have enough wood to see us through the winter, of course,’ I shot back.
I felt Gabe’s eyes snap back to me, but I didn’t take mine from Molly’s flushed face.
‘OK,’ she said, accepting every word, as she rubbed her mitten-clad hands together, ‘I’ll see you inside. It’s freezing out here.’
The second she disappeared Gabe had thankfully started to laugh rather than quiz me on what I meant by saying those four loaded words straight back to him.
‘You didn’t miss a beat,’ he gasped. ‘I would have still been struggling for a plausible response.’
‘Well,’ I said, nonchalantly tossing my hair, ‘it’s not my first time. I’ve had years of perfecting how not to crack under pressure when asked awkward questions.’
‘You’re really something,’ he smiled.
‘We had better go back in,’ I said, ‘before Miss Molly Motormouth sets tongues wagging.’
It wasn’t until we had joined the others around the table and I found Gabe’s gaze still lingering on mine that I began to wonder what exactly he had meant when he said ‘I really like you.’ Was he sitting there now wondering what I had meant by saying the same thing back?
Was he saying to me, I really like you as a cider-swigging buddy or, if he didn’t do casual, as a potential proper partner, or, actually, nothing like that at all? And why was my heart so keen for me to entertain the idea that I would be up for more than a one-off so soon after I had allegedly sworn off serious relationships for good? That wasn’t what was expected of the old Hayley at all, was it?
‘OK,’ boomed Angus from his position at the head of the table, ‘now that we’re all out of the woodshed . . .’
‘I hope you didn’t see anything nasty in there, Hayley?’ said Jamie with a suggestive wink, which made Anna snigger.
I glared at Molly who mouthed ‘sorry’ and stared back down into her coffee.
‘Now that we’re all here,’ said Catherine calmly, ‘I suppose we’d better hear what it is you think you have in store for us this Christmas, Angus.’
As the plans for the potential Winter Wonderland weekend began to unfold, I set Gabe’s admission aside and stole a glance at my friends around the table. Jamie was looking every bit as excited as his eccentric, fun-lo
ving father, and Anna, I noticed, was wearing the same slightly exasperated expression as Catherine.
It turned out that giving the guys time to plan and prepare hadn’t worked in Catherine’s favour at all because, with Jamie on-board, almost no detail had been left to chance.
‘So, what we’re thinking is . . .’ said Angus.
‘As long as everyone else is in agreement of course,’ added Jamie, with a hopeful smile.
‘That we could host a Winter Wonderland here on the fifteenth and sixteenth of December.’
‘That will give us just about enough time to get everything properly set up and in place.’
‘And it won’t clash with the switch-on or the tree auction and bake sale in town.’
‘Or the party here.’
‘But it will tie in with the decoration competition and give visitors more to enjoy when they come to admire and judge the trees.’
You had to hand it to them, they sounded like a well-oiled double act. It was obvious they’d spent a lot of time thinking this through as well as rehearsing their speech. It was all political-party smooth.
‘And what exactly is it that you have in mind for the visitors to enjoy?’ Catherine asked.
I couldn’t help thinking there was a note of resignation in her tone and wondered if her husband and son had picked up on it too. If that was the case, there’d be no stopping them.
‘Well,’ said Angus, ‘there would be the usual sleigh rides, of course. They’ve always been popular.’
‘And I could offer refreshments,’ said Dorothy, before Angus had a chance to say another word. ‘I was going to do mince pies and mulled wine for the folk who come to view the trees anyway, but if there’ll be more going on then I’m sure I could come up with something a little more exciting than that.’
She sounded well and truly caught up in it all already.