“I need .. . time … to think,” she murmured, so wanting to lash out at him, to hurt him in some way. But she couldn't. It was he who held her still as a prisoner. It was he who had the power to command….
“You know where I live,” he said, placing his hat back atop his head. “I shall be expecting you tomorrow. If you don't arrive, you can expect your father and brother to be without jobs and have tickets in hand for passage back to Italy. I shall do this. Tomorrow.”
“I can't believe … that….” Maria whispered, paling even more.
“You will believe it when you see it,” he said firmly, moving toward the door. He turned to face her, glowering. “Tomorrow?” he said.
“But… my Papa … and brother,” she stammered.
“They are two capable adults. They can do without you,” he said bluntly. “And if you will take my advice, do not leave word for them as to where you are until we are together in wedlock. No sense in causing alarm enough for them to come for you when you know the outcome of such a movement on their part.”
Maria lowered her eyes, hating this man so much … so much . . . she could possibly even kill him. She swallowed hard, remembering the gun that Alberto still had hidden. Could … she … ? But no. She knew she couldn't. But she would get even with him. Even if it meant having to find a way after actually marrying him.
“I will be there,” she said. Her gaze shot upward. “But don't do anything to my brother or Papa. Please. I do this thing . . . only for their welfare. I would gladly go back to Italy. But I know my Papa is too ill to make such a voyage. He wouldn't make it one day aboard that cold, wind-swept deck of the ship. Please just don't do anything to hurt my Papa and brother.”
“If you will arrive as soon as you can after the morning whistle's blow from the mine, tomorrow, I will see to it that all will be well with your family. No need to fear. I will keep my word. And you? Will you keep yours? For not to, means only heartache for you. You know that.”
“Yes. I understand,” she murmured.
“Then I will bid you good day, Maria,” he said, bowing slightly, then turned and hurried outside to his carriage.
Maria inched her way to the door and watched, trembling, until the carriage moved from sight. She closed the door behind her, feeling a chill race up and down her spine. Had this been real? Had this truly happened? She leaned against the door, sobbing. She had for so long thought herself to be strong, both physically and mentally. But now? She felt as though she was a child, unable to control her own destiny. She chewed her lower lip while tears crept from her eyes. She knew that she had no choice but to do as Nathan Hawkins ordered. No matter what she would do … or no matter whom she would tell of her dilemma . .. she knew the end result. She would possibly be the cause of the loss of three lives. Her own, her brother's, and . . . her … Papa's….
The shrill shriek from the mine's whistle drew her mind to the present. She looked down at herself, seeing the ugliness of her garb, then rushed to her bedroom. She had to dress the part of the sister … daughter .. this one more evening. Knives seemed to be piercing her heart, as she thought that this was possibly her last night with her family. “Oh, God,” she prayed. “Make it to not be true. Make it to be a nightmare that I will wake up from, and soon. . . .”
She took one last look at her violin, touching it gingerly, feeling the slickness of its varnished exterior, then shut it inside its case and placed it beneath her bed. Then as quickly as she could, she exchanged her chimney sweep costume for her thin cotton dress. She fingered the dress, feeling a creeping eagerness that set her face to flaming because of shame, knowing that deep inside herself she was envisioning herself in other dresses, maybe even fancy hats, like those she had seen on the many women this afternoon in Creal Springs.
She gritted her teeth, wondering how she could let herself think for one moment that what she would be forced to do would be anything pleasant. It would be a life of ugliness … so degrading to have been forced into a life with such a man. . . .
But her thoughts suddenly turned to revenge. “Won't I have some control over the lives of the Italians, if I am the wife of Nathan Hawkins?” she said aloud, smiling coyly. “Has he forgotten that to give me his name . . . will be the same as also giving me . . . the power that goes along with . . . that name . .. ?” A feeling swept over her, a feeling of growing confidence in what she was being made to do. “I will make sure my family is well cared for. Nathan Hawkins won't even know I am doing so. He will be too entranced by the way I will use my body with him to even wonder where I will spend my days when he is away. I will go to my family and give them things they have never had before.”
She laughed hoarsely. “Yes, Nathan Hawkins. I will repay you for what you have done. I will use your name . .. your wealth . . . your power … for the Italians. All Italians. . .
Chapter Eleven
Maria lay half asleep, then awakened, startled, when she heard a noise in her room. Pulling the blanket up to hide her thin cotton chemise, she peered through the darkness, seeing a figure moving toward the bed.
“Who's there?” she whispered, growing afraid. Had Nathan Hawkins sent one of his representatives to pluck her away in the middle of the night? She moved to an upright position, inching her way from the bed.
“Maria?” Alberto whispered, reaching for her.
Maria exhaled heavily, relieved. “Alberto?” she whispered. “What are you doing? Why are you sneaking about in my bedroom?” She was remembering him watching her . . . following her to the privy. Had he truly become deranged . . . ?
Alberto moved onto the bed, placing his arm around her waist, pulling her to him. “Maria. Shh. Let's not awaken Papa,” Alberto said softly.
Maria began to squirm, feeling embarrassed to have her brother so close to her in this bedroom. It was not Italy. Their Gran-mama was not sleeping in the same room, only a few feet away. Things had changed. There was a respect to uphold when having a bedroom to one's self. “Alberto,” she cried softly. “Let me go. Why are you behaving in such a foolish way?”
With his eyes, Alberto sought out her figure in the darkness and could see her outline, making his heart pound fiercely. He moved his elbow up to let it touch a breast. Even though she was his sister, he couldn't help but ache for her in an abnormal way. “I've come to talk, Maria,” he said thickly, clearing his throat nervously.
“About what. . . ?” she said, moving away from him.
He ran his fingers through his whiskers, knowing that his movements had been foolish. He didn't dare lose his sister's respect. She was .. . his . . . life. “About someone I just saw at Ruby's,” he quickly blurted.
“So you have been there again, Alberto?” she said angrily. “Must you? Every night?” She pulled the blanket upward, shivering from the chill of the early evening. Then she said, “You can't have been gone long. Why did you return so soon? What was this about someone you saw at Ruby's? Did this person cause you to leave so soon? Or did you run out of gambling money?”
“Maria, will you just listen,” Alberto grumbled, looking toward the bedroom door, hoping their Papa wouldn't hear the conversation being exchanged between brother and sister in this bedroom of darkness.
“Okay,” she said impatiently. “Tell me. What's this all about? Who did you see?”
“Michael Hopper,” Alberto said quickly, wishing to see his sister's expression, but without any lights, he just listened to her quick intake of breath. He smiled to himself, anxious to tell her the rest.
Maria's heartbeats skipped as her hands went to her throat. “Did you … say… Michael… ?” she gasped.
“At Ruby's? Surely… you … are … wrong“
Alberto laughed hoarsely. “No mistake, Maria,” he said.
“But… Michael“
“Michael was there. I saw him. No way could I be mistaken,” Alberto said.
“With … one of Ruby's … ?”
Alberto laughed once again. “No. He had just arrived and was
headed up the stairs, alone, to the gambling room, I am sure,” he said. “When I saw him, I ducked out the back door.”
Maria's blood surged in a wild thrill, knowing that Michael was so close. She had to find a way to go to him. She had to be held in his arms once again. She knew that he would comfort her as no one else could do. But then she had to remember Nathan Hawkins's warnings. She was to tell no one of their plans. To do so would be possible death for her Papa and brother. Pains circling her heart caused her to gulp back a large lump in her throat, feeling desperation rising inside herself. She had to see Michael, yet she knew she couldn't. “So he was there … to only play cards . . . not be with … a woman . . . ?” she said softly, trembling.
“He looked as though he didn't have the money for which to pay for one of Ruby's whore's services,” Alberto said, laughing. “He looked like a bum. Nothing at all like he dressed while aboard the Dolphin. Seems your lover has fallen on hard times.”
Maria's eyes widened, remembering how smartly dressed Michael had been, and how he had served her only the best of wines and foods. “I can't… believe… that he would be poor,” she said, sulking. “He is a man of riches. I know this to be true.”
“I guess he played one card game too many,” Alberto said. “You know the cards can be one's enemy. They have turned on me as of late. You know that. Maybe this is what happened to Michael.”
“And you say that Michael didn't see you, Alberto?”
“Hell no. Do you think I'd let him see me? That would only lead him to you.”
Maria lowered her eyes. “Then why did you even have to tell me you saw Michael?” she said softly. “Wouldn't I have been better off to not know? Just the same as Michael?”
“I had to tell you that he has lost his luck. I wanted you to know that he is no longer one of the rich kind, that he is as poor as you and 1.I hoped that would make you forget him and the damn dreams you must have been having of some day meeting up with him to share his riches. If he has none, you can dream about someone else.”
“It is not the riches that attracted me to Michael,” Maria said, glowering. “It was Michael. I fell in love with him the first time I saw him. It had nothing to do with money. Nothing at all.”
“You… did… love him… Maria?” Alberto gasped.
“Did . .. do .. . and always … will,” she sighed, feeling tears surfacing. “But it is all lost. For me … it is all lost.”
“Because of what I just told you about him?”
Maria swallowed hard. “No, Alberto,” she said softly. “It's nothing to do … with what you have told me.”
“Then what?”
Maria's eyes wavered. She reached up and pulled her hair back from her face and let it settle in deep waves down her back. “Nothing. It is something I cannot talk about, Alberto,” she said, knowing that to mention Nathan Hawkins in the same breath would be to reveal too many truths to Alberto. Maria knew of Alberto's temper. She just couldn't let him know that this very next day she would be leaving for Nathan Hawkins's house … to become his wife.
“Alberto, will you please leave so I can get some sleep,” she said sullenly. “I am so bone-weary and tired.”
“Have I upset you, Maria?”
“A bit,” she said, stretching out beneath her covers. “But I will be all right. We will all be all right. You shall see.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing,” she said. “Now, Alberto, please go on to bed. Promise to not leave the house again tonight? I feel much safer when you are beneath the same roof as I. You know that Papa is ailing. You are the strong one of the family now. We depend on you.”
“You .. . do .. . ?” he stammered.
“Yes. You know that both Papa and I do.”
“I'm glad, Maria,” he said, leaning down to kiss her softly on the cheek. “I'm glad. You mean so much to me. I would die if anything would ever happen to you. I would just die.”
“I'll be all right, Alberto,” she said. “Now, please? I need to be alone.”
“To think about that Michael Hopper?” he growled, standing, doubling his fists at his sides.
“Him .. . and much much more,” she confessed.
Alberto swung around and stomped from the room, leaving Maria to stare after him, but glad to now be alone with her thoughts. “Oh, Michael,” she whispered, looking toward the window, seeing the blackness of night, wondering how she might arrange to possibly even get a glimpse of him.
“I could go to Ruby's. . . .” she said, sitting upright, biting a lower lip. “Yes, I can go to Ruby's, tell Ruby of my feelings for this man who is in her upstairs room gambling. See if she can arrange for me to take just one small peek at him. Surely it wouldn't hurt.”
Her heart thumped wildly against her chest, feeling the excitement building inside her. She knew that this was a dangerous scheme. She knew that a woman did not move through the darkness of the streets at night without taking a chance of being accosted by a drunken man.
“The chimney sweep costume will have to be my disguise once again,” she moaned, hating to think of slipping into it another time. But it was the only answer. If she hid herself beneath its looseness and her hair beneath the hat, she could race down the streets without drawing even that first glance from either man or woman. Then even when she entered Ruby's, no heads would turn to stare after her. She would just be another one of the guys … in search of a playmate.
She giggled, thinking about it, even wondering if the whores would come to her, thinking she was a “he.” “If only one would touch me beneath my jacket,” she giggled further. “Wouldn't I surprise her? What a shock would register on that whore's face!”
Trembling from the anticipation of seeing Michael once again, after all these months, Maria finally pulled the last of her clothes on, then her hated shoes that laced up the front. She had no idea how she looked, but she could feel the way each piece hung from her and knew that not even one of Ruby's whores would probably want to draw near her after all. “A man of a six-foot height and lankiness elsewhere surely would be the last thing they would want to take to bed with them,” Maria said, giggling still. “And my clothes. Surely they would know I would have no money with which to pay for bedding up with them.”
Rechecking to see if her hair was beneath her hat, Maria knew that she was ready to sneak from the house. She only hoped that Alberto had been honest with her and had gone to his room to sleep. If he had gone on to Ruby's, then Maria would most surely be headed for trouble. But she had to take that chance. To see Michael would be worth any trouble her brother could create for her. And wouldn't this be her last night of true freedom? Didn't she have to show up at Nathan Hawkins's house the very next morning? A sick feeling rippled at the pit of her stomach just imagining herself having to be in the same room as that terrible man, much less alone with him … on a bed .. . sharing .. . so much more than words with him.
“I mustn't let myself think about that now,” she whispered, tiptoeing to the back door, watching cautiously around her, checking and rechecking for shadows in the room, knowing if she did see any, it would be Alberto, possibly up to his old tricks of sneaking, watching her. But when all stayed silent around her and the only shadows were her own, she opened the back door and crept on outside, carefully reclosing the door behind her.
She let her shoulders slump lazily forward, breath- ing with relief. “Well, I got this far without being discovered,” she said, closing her eyes, wiping her brow with the back of a hand. “Now to proceed further.”
With brisk steps, she moved across the back yard, around to the front, then on down the middle of the street, dreading having to move across the iron bridge, into unfamiliar territory. She dreaded most of all having to push her way through the darkness of the trees that stretched out between her and Ruby's fenced-in yard, where the dogs browsed constantly, sniffing out any strangers who might come snooping about.
The dogs! The thought of their sharp teeth made pin
pricks of fear stab her flesh. She would just have to hope that the dogs would be securely tied … that she would be able to reach the front door without being bitten. But surely Ruby had to secure the dogs for the night's business of men arriving. How else could they get to the house … to pay for the many types of services that Ruby's house offered?
The moon seemed to be playing games this night. First it would be shining brightly, lighting the area all around Maria, then it would suddenly become hidden by gray, fluffy clouds that appeared to be trimmed in white lace as the moon's rays shone at its edges.
Maria shivered in the chill of the night, pulling her jacket more securely around her neck. She watched on all sides of her as she ran toward the tall Indian grasses in the distance. As was the house she had just left, all the houses lining this street were dark. Maria had argued with her Papa about having to go to bed so early. “Eight o'clock, Papa?” she had grumbled. “I am no longer a child who needs to be pacified by enormous amounts of sleep.”
Blowing out the kerosene lamps, her Papa had just ignored her and had crept on into his own bedroom, himself needing all the rest that he could get.
“Boredom is the reason,” Maria whispered to herself, stepping high to avoid a pile of horse-dung lying in the middle of the street. “Sheer boredom. What can my people do but work and sleep?”
She had to wonder how her life would change afier moving into Nathan Hawkins's mansion. She peered into the distance and could see a bright collection of lights and knew that these were being emitted from Nathan Hawkins's windows. Did he have so many electric lights? She had seen her first at Ruby's. “Such a marvelous invention,” she sighed, stopping to listen when she heard the noises that she was fast leaving behind her. The loud guffaws and the tinkling from the pianos at the saloons in Hawkinsville drowned out all other noises.
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