Blowing my load isn’t enough. I need to be balls deep inside of Ellie for the rest of our lives. Have a feeling it’s going to be a long damn time before I’ll be able to touch her, let alone sink inside. Taste those lips, suck those nipples.
Fuck, this is torture.
Don’t matter. Every grueling day I go without Ellie will be worth it once I rid her life of the filth calling me every name she can think of as her wild crazed eyes latch onto mine, mouth parting on a whimper. She’s horny as fuck. Worked up and losing the bit of mind she has left. Makes me want to do it all over again.
I wash up, turn off the water still feeling as dirty as when I stepped in.
Whitney snarls, laughing a cynical sound.
“She’ll never be enough for you, and you know it. My mouth is much better than your hand. It’s been a long time since we’ve had fun, Logan. We can have our fun in the bedroom. No more sharing. No more club. We can run off together and forget about everyone. I can make you happy.”
I scoff at her failing attempt. The woman is certifiably crazy.
“Listen to you talk out of your ass. I don’t want you. You must be stupid as you look to ever think I’d run off and leave my family.” I sure the fuck don’t want Whitney in my bed ever again. That spot belongs to one woman.
Ellie gives me exactly what I need. Peace of mind and an unexplained sensation of coming alive every time I see her. She bleeds underneath my skin. “Possessiveness doesn’t look good on you. Not when what you want never belonged to you. Last chance for you to tell me the truth. What does Shadow have planned?” My voice fades as I step into my bedroom and make my way toward my closet, quickly yanking on a pair of shorts and tugging a black t-shirt over my head.
I need to work out, get some of this frustration out of my system. I also need a hazmat suit because I can smell Whitney from here.
When I return, Whitney is biting her bottom lip, successfully silencing herself, but the answer to my question is clearly shining in her watery eyes.
The bitch knows, and she’ll die remaining loyal to a man who would kill her without a second glance.
Chapter 7
Ellie
Do unto others as you’d have done to you. There’s a saying that goes something like that. There’s another along the lines of change can be useful for the soul.
Today, I’m calling bullshit on both. I’m going to do unto another as she’s done to me, and enjoy every minute of it.
No remorse. Not one single fuck given. She deserves it, after all.
Whitney was the main reason I couldn’t fall asleep last night. I tried taking her off my mind, tried and failed to slip away into the depths of unconsciousness. It was an angrily useless attempt.
Because not only was I bitter and angry with Logan, my brain was blissfully aware that on the other side of the city, one of the people blocking out the light, the noise, the leaving me in the silence of peacefulness was trapped in a cage. And until I see her and know she is dead, it feels like needles are poking me in the head and pushing a hot liquid into my brain.
I won’t rest until she’s not breathing.
I don’t want to kill her. I want to make her suffer a bit because Lord knows that’s what Whitney has done to me.
Even though I hate violence, hate hearing about abuse on a woman, it doesn’t mean shit to me right now as I pull up to Logan’s with Gabe right behind me just as Logan and Lane step out of the house. Gabe didn’t hide the fact he was following me; he pulled out and stayed a few car lengths behind.
Gabe opens my door as soon as I cut the engine, giving me a caring smile. “I don’t apologize to many, Ellie. I’ll say it once, and we move on to better things from here. I’m sorry. It wasn’t my place to tell you. Also, sweetheart, everything is going to be alright. I might not have agreed with what Logan did, but in his defense, it was not intentional.”
His voice is comforting, his dark eyes reassuring.
I might not ever agree with the things Gabe and the Mitchell brothers do, one thing for sure about them, they care about one another.
A family, and like Renita said, they protect and help their own.
Renita, Norah, and I talked after I came back inside yesterday after that kiss with Logan that I can still feel on my lips. Renita told me everything she and Logan discussed. We cried, we laughed, and when they fell asleep, I stayed awake thinking that I can’t move forward with anything until Whitney suffers for what she’s done.
I’m worn out. Mentally exhausted and I will not have another breakdown. I’m worried about too much, too many things and like a sponge, my mind can only soak up so much before it becomes weighed down and doesn’t work properly.
“Thank you,” I answer without climbing out. I focus my eyes back on the two brothers looking as bad as I do. Lane nods, his smile tentative. While Logan, the weight of his stare on my heart forces me to look away.
I’d like to believe it was fate that brought us together, but until I find out the truth about him and Whitney, my faith in anything right now floats somewhere in the darkness I’ve found myself in.
This entire situation has absorbed my heart with excruciating pain. I’ve spent too many years, too much time wallowing in self-pity, and I refuse to do it ever again.
Pitying myself is something I did years ago when I’d go on dates and crawl into my skin when a man would simply try and kiss me. I would cry and cry. Curse God for allowing me to remain stuck in a deep, black hole and I will not allow myself to live in a pit of misery again because I won’t make it back to the top this time.
The nagging thoughts of what Logan said is partially why I was unable to sleep. He lied to me about many things when I put my heart out there for him to take.
He said he loves me, and I don’t know what to make of it, if it was out of desperation or the truth.
I need closure before I can speak to him. I need Whitney out of my life and not breathing. I can’t go on like this any longer — this worry, this all-consuming fear that’s eating me from the inside out.
Smiling at Gabe as he waits for me to climb out, I feel safety wrap itself around my entire body as I unfasten my seatbelt. I always sense it when Logan is near.
From day one, it’s radiated off the man — a man wrong for me but perfect in ways I’ll never understand.
A slice of Heaven.
A whole lot of Hell.
“You good, brother?” I make the mistake of looking at Logan when Lane speaks.
Rigid and unsettled. That’s what Logan looks like. So, no, he’s not good at all.
The muscles in his arms flex as he grips the frame of the door above his head. Inky black hair an unruly disaster. For the longest time, we take one another in.
Bitterness drains from him.
But it’s not directed at me. It’s meant for the woman I can smell from here.
I don’t know what he sees when he looks at me, at the moment I don’t care. Whatever it is, has him shaking his head and looking past me. When he drops those eyes back on me, there are a hundred different emotions in his expression.
Shame. Sorrow. Love. Redemption.
And want and need so profound my heart skips a beat.
“I will be, Lane. Thanks for checking in.” Logan runs a hand through his hair as he continues to stare.
Talking with Logan isn’t what I’m here to do, I’m here because my mind won’t shut down the torture Whitney once inflicted on me. It won’t stop allowing images of the smeared satisfied look I’ve imagined for years Whitney had on her smug face when my case was closed and she went on living her life as if she wasn’t a part in stealing mine.
Taking a deep breath, I ignore those curious green eyes of Logan’s boring into my soul as I retrieve the item I brought with me and shut the door to my Jeep.
“How’s Lexi?” I direct my attention toward Lane. Just thinking about that innocent, sweet little girl places a smile in my tone.
“She’s at a friend’s house. Been asking about
you.”
Lane then walks over and takes my free hand. “I’m sorry. Seth is too. Finally got him in rehab, Ellie. You played a part in that by coming into our lives. He saw the good Logan was getting. You have no idea how hard this has been on Logan. I’m not telling you to give in; I’m asking for you to listen to him. Go do what you have to do. Lexi will be waiting for your call.”
Care and concern shine from Lane’s eyes. Something else is there too, the same thing I noticed yesterday when Logan spoke about Whitney.
Hate and malice and murder.
“I don’t know about giving me credit. I’m just glad Seth is getting help. I’ll call Lexi soon, and thank you.” I look behind me and watch Lane talk to Gabe before Gabe gets in his truck and drives off.
“Where is Whitney?” I ask, turning back around to face the man who wrecked my world — saying her name claws up my throat and burns.
“Behind the pool house.” Logan’s response is quick, but there’s hesitation in there too. As if he wants to talk to me before I see Whitney. Well, too damn bad for him this moment is mine, and I’m taking it.
It’s only when I finally lift what I have dangling from my hand that I dare take steps forward, but they aren’t toward Logan. No, my wobbly and nervous feet guide me to the back of his house without saying another word.
I make my way around and catch myself smiling as I see the magnolia trees. They are so beautiful and peaceful. The entire scenery back here is. I could soak it up. By the time I reach the pool, I can feel Logan close behind.
Stopping short of the pool house, I gather my strength, and when I make my way to the other side, I can’t help but laugh when I catch sight of Whitney. It’s food for my soul, the medicine I’ve missed these last few days. I laugh until I’m doubling over in hysterics.
But then she shifts, and with every breath I take, I think back to one of many conversations Whitney and I had. One of many that led me here:
“You should give up your virginity to Coty Bartholomew, he likes you, you know?” The words slip out of Whitney’s mouth easily. I don’t know why she’s always bringing up my virginity, but she does. It’s the last thing I think about, that’s for sure. I’m more worried about passing history class than I am about boys. Whitney though, she is boy crazy.
Anger wells up inside of me because she knows this already.
“Uh, no. Coty might be cute, but when I give myself to someone, it’ll be because I love him.” Unlike you, I want to say, but I keep that thought to myself. Whitney has already had sex. She was barely a teenager when she gave it up to some random dirtbag friend of her brother’s. The guy’s name is Cole Bates. He creeps me out as much as Shadow does. Always staring at me, licking his lips and eyeballing me up and down. Whenever he comes over, I lock myself in my room and make sure my dad’s baseball bat is leaning against the wall by the door.
I’ll use it on him and bash in his skull if he tries anything — the same as Shadow. I hate them both with a passion.
“I keep forgetting you’re the angel in this family. Sometimes I wish I was more like you. Pretty and kind and forgiving. I hope you find someone worthy of giving it to. I’m sorry I brought it up. Do you promise to tell me if you fall in love? Never mind, I’ll know because we’ll be sisters forever.”
Yes, we will be — the best of sisters.
“Don’t hold your breath; it’s going to be a long time before I give myself to someone, and what’s this nonsense you say about not being pretty. You are stunning. You wear dresses and skirts, unlike me. You curl your hair every day, and I throw mine in a ponytail.”
Whitney is pretty, and she’s popular too. Although I wouldn’t hang out with the girls she does, they are snobs and mean girls, always picking on others, making them cry. They are bullies in every sense of the word.
“You think so?”
“I know so, the same as I know we will always be sisters like you said.”
Only after I hear a whimper do I blink out of my past and remember why I’m here.
“Wake up, sister,” I yell, lifting the baseball bat and running it down the side of the cage. The sound of the metal bat against Whitney’s new home makes a long, loud eerie clinking noise that rings in my ears.
I stand next to the cage, my fingers curling and uncurling as Whitney blinks and I look fiercely into her eyes.
My pulse becomes highly active, but not from fear. It’s anticipation, an amusement that has the laughter wanting to burst out of me again.
On any other circumstance, I’d be wondering what kind of sick person would do this to another. Then again, it’s Whitney. She deserves to lie on the ground.
“Sorry to interrupt your beauty sleep, but you and I are going to have a long-overdue chat. If I can stand the smell.” I gag and dry heave as I sit down in the grass and shove the knob of the bat through the holes of the cage poking Whitney several times in the chest with the end of it.
She barely moves, but when she opens her eyes, blinks several times I see the jealousy she’s had and still does for me as clear as day.
That laughter tickles up my throat when I get a good look at her. She’s pale, her skin in sunburn blisters. Her hair has dried vomit in it; her nails are filthy, her face caked in dirt, dried blood on her chin, and her eyes are so bloodshot I can hardly tell what color they are.
“Trapped sucks, doesn’t it?” I go to lean forward to pull the tape off Whitney’s mouth when Logan moves around me, sticks his hands through the thin metal, and rips it off in one quick motion causing her cracked lips to bleed.
Whitney screams like a baby. It doesn’t last long as she narrows her eyes and tries talking around her gasps for air. “Not as scared as you should be,” she finally sputters out.
I’m scared, alright. Not of her, not anymore. It’s the man who is standing so close behind me that I can feel his hatred for this woman seep into my back.
He wants to kill her so bad I can taste it.
“Fuck you, both. You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into, Ellie.” Whitney chokes on her words with panic flowing out of her eyes as she glances to where Logan stands a few feet away.
Ice shoots up my spine, branches around my lungs. The panic in her eyes withers and she drops her gaze from Logan to mine where it twinges with sorrow.
I raise a brow. Does she honestly think I’ll somehow believe that regret is living inside her twisted head?
“I have a pretty good idea, Whitney.” I don’t because deep down, I know Whitney holds the key to whatever her brother has planned. If the two of them are as close as they used to be, she’ll take it to her grave. That’s okay for now because getting rid of her will give me a chance to think, to breathe before Shadow is released, to figure out this mess of a marriage between her and Logan and go from there. Even if what I find out is enough for me not to keep him.
Logan might be controlling, and I might care for him more than I should, but forgiving him easily is something I’m not sure I can do.
“You might think you do. There won’t be anyone to save you once Shadow gets out. Logan isn’t going to save you. He’ll toss you right to him like the piece of ass you are. When are you going to learn, naïve little girl? Logan is playing you just like he’s been playing me. He played us both.”
Heaving coughs come from Whitney as she tries catching her breath. The coughing intensifies when Logan sits next to me and shakes his head.
She hates us together. I love that she does. I’ll relish the rest of my days knowing she’ll die thinking everything is okay between Logan and me.
All I can do as Logan’s leg brushes mine, and he leans back stretching his longs legs is breathe him in. Let the sweet smell of his sweat and the fact I’m pulling the strength I need from him to face her, to not let the fear of the unknown break me down in a pool of tears.
I’m thankful for several reasons he isn’t speaking. The sound of his voice makes me want to melt into him. That, plus this is between Whitney and me. A loose end to
be tied and left in the ropes wound tight around her body.
“Funny, that’s not what he says when we’re together. It’s not what I feel when he touches and kisses me, and it is definitely not the impression when he fucks me. Now is the time you should be jealous of me, Whitney. I have someone who never loved you. Hell, to be honest, I’m jealous of myself. I mean, look at him. Logan’s mine, and he was never yours, was he? If he were, I’d be in that cage and not you.”
Harsh laughter stuns me when it comes out of my mouth all mixed up with the emotions that curl around my insides and squeeze as tears pool in her eyes. It’s a sight to see. This bully, this vile woman, lying on her side, tied in ropes, throat having to be dry as sand getting what’s coming to her. If only I had it in me to watch her die. It’s going to be brutal if I go by the way Logan is treating her. It’s all the more confusing to me.
“You thought I was jealous of you? You were a pest. A lonely girl I felt sorry for. One I begged Shadow to make a casualty the night he attacked you. If you think for one second Logan gives a shit about you, then you are as desperate for attention now as you were back then. He doesn’t give two shits about you. All he cares about is the money. The money he fucked me over to get.”
She starts coughing again; it has that whistling sound you get when the airways are closing up. It won’t be long until she’s dead from her throat closing if Logan leaves her out in this heat much longer. The sun already has me breaking out in a sweat, and I don’t perspire easily.
Confusion settles in my brain. I’ve no idea what she means about money. I’m sure I’ll find out when I talk to Logan.
“So Logan used you then. That has to suck for you, especially knowing you’re going to die and he’ll be with me. Fucking me and making real babies with me. Remember when I told you I wanted four kids? Picture four boys who look like their dad running around this beautiful home and me their mother. I can see it now.”
Undone (Unbound Trilogy Book 2) Page 7