by Angie Bates
There were some interesting rude diagrams in Kenny’s. But otherwise we came up with a big fat ZERO.
Mum was fluffing about again, totally getting on my nerves. She kept whisking our mugs away before we’d actually finished our drinks, and pulling back the dining-room curtains and closing them again.
“Mum,” I said. “We’re trying to think, OK?”
“Sorry,” she said. “It’s just that Andy’s not usually this late. And with this weather…” Her voice trailed away.
I stared at her. I’d completely failed to notice Andy hadn’t come home. “Did you ring his mobile?”
She shook her head.
“Ring it now,” I said.
Mum wrung her hands. “I’m probably being silly.”
Neither of us could bring ourselves even to whisper the word “accident”.
At that moment the back door opened, letting in gusts of freezing air. Andy stood in the doorway, stamping snow off his shoes.
I’ll never understand grown-ups. You’d think Mum would be really pleased to see him. Instead, she nearly bit his head off.
“Where have you been?” she snapped. “I’ve been out of my mind!”
“Sorry, love,” said Andy. “At one point I thought I was going to have to leave the car on the other side of Cuddington and walk.”
Mum’s eyes widened. “Are you OK? Is the car OK?”
Andy hugged her. “The car and I are both fine. I didn’t have an accident, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He grinned at me. “A little bit of snow and your mum’s got me dead and buried. Oh, and the answer’s ‘yes’, Nikki,” he teased. “A nice cup of tea would be just the job after that long cold drive, thanks for asking.”
Mum rushed around, fetching Andy dry socks and hot drinks and boosting the thermostat to totally tropical levels.
I rolled my eyes at the others. “Sorry,” I mouthed.
Andy joined us at the table. “How’s it going, girls?” he said.
He was just being friendly, but now I knew he wasn’t dead, I wanted him to go away and stay out of our hair.
I glared. “Actually we’re busy,” I said.
As you’ve probably guessed, it takes more than a glare to embarrass Andy Proudlove. Yes, that IS his full name. And guess what? After the wedding, it’s going to be mine as well. How come I get lumbered with two totally STOO-PID, totally humiliating names?
Anyway, Andy started chatting away about this protest demo he’d run into on his way home. Apparently, protesters were stopping drivers to explain what their demo was about.
Instead of being fed up with them for getting between him and his tea, Andy sounded impressed. “Say what you like, they’ve got some bottle camping out in this weather. It’s enough to freeze your—”
“Do you mind,” I moaned. “We’ve got this project.”
Mum sat down too. “It must have been a big protest to make you this late.” And she cosied up to Andy.
Andy put his cold hand over hers. Mum shrieked and pushed him away “You’re not kidding,” he grinned. “They caused a serious traffic jam. They were better than the circus. Flaming torches, banners, painted faces.”
“What were they demonstrating about?” asked Mum.
Who CARES! I screamed silently. Couldn’t my parents see they were totally ruining my life, just by being there?!
I tried beaming deadly thought-rays. But Andy was immune to them too. He went warbling on about how someone was building some massive DIY outlet near our village.
“I heard about that!” said Kenny suddenly. She sounded interested. “Mum says it’s a disgrace to even think of building on Browses Piece.”
“Browses Piece?” said Rosie. “I don’t think I’ve been there.”
“Me neither,” I yawned. “Shouldn’t we get back to this—”
“Yes you have, bird-brain,” Lyndz interrupted. “You’ve been loads of times. It’s on the way to Leicester,” she explained to Rosie. “I go riding near there. There’s a little turn-off, right? You go down a little twisty lane and there it is. In spring and summer it’s totally gorgeous.”
“OK,” I said. “I do remember. Now let’s get on with this project.”
But they totally ignored me.
“I just lurve that place,” gushed Frankie. “Mum used to take me when I was a little kid. She’s got this picture of me, toddling around in the flowers. I’m so small, it looks like I’m in a daisy and buttercup jungle!”
“If you believe these protesters, our village is about to lose a piece of paradise,” Andy wittered on. “Not just primroses and whatnot. But all kinds of wildlife apparently.”
How come Andy was suddenly so keen on Nature? Mum can’t usually drag him away from the snooker long enough to cut our grass!
Frankie gave a gasp. “Nobody move!” she said.
“It’s not a spider, is it?” quavered Mum.
Frankie had an incredibly tense expression, like someone waiting for a sneeze. “I have had the most AWESOME idea,” she announced.
Honestly, that girl! Of course, she’d got everyone staring at her now.
“Remember the photograph Mrs Poole showed us, of those villagers at the beginning of the nineteenth century? Well, where do you think it was taken?” She waited for us to catch on.
Lyndz looked puzzled. “Browses Piece, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah, definitely,” said Kenny.
Frankie beamed around the room. “Isn’t that a totally incredible coincidence?”
Everyone looked blank.
“Don’t you see how perfect it is?” she said, waving her arms like a windmill. “Here’s this lovely little beauty spot which has been here, like, forever. I mean, our grandparents and great-grandparents used to go there to chill out with their kids. And now thanks to some horrible DIY company, my baby sister might never set eyes on even ONE of those buttercups. I mean, is this serious ecology or WHAT?”
“So are you saying, forget all the big stuff in the books and do something about Browses Piece instead?” Kenny asked.
Frankie nodded. “Mrs Weaver will love it!”
“Sounds great,” said Andy. “Think globally. Act locally.”
Mum gave him a funny look.
“I read that on one of their banners,” he said bashfully.
Suddenly Kenny slapped Frankie on the back. “Spaceman,” she grinned. “You finally cracked the case!”
“Yeah. Nice one, Frankie!” said Lyndz.
“Coo-ell!” agreed Rosie.
I felt like the only person in the soap opera without a script!
“But what would we be DOING exactly?” I said.
Frankie scowled. “I can’t have ALL the ideas. The rest of you do some thinking for a change.”
“Ooooh!” teased Lyndz. “That’s telling you, Fliss!”
“I’ve got an idea,” said Mum. “If you don’t mind me butting in?”
Everyone made polite noises.
She looked dead shy. “Well, since you’ve only got till Monday, why don’t I drive you up to the protest site tonight, to take a look around?”
I couldn’t believe my ears. “Are you kidding? It’s freezing out there. All those little side roads will be, like, deadly death-traps!”
“Just a suggestion,” said Mum calmly. “I thought you girls might be up for an adventure.”
“You can count me in,” said Frankie at once.
“And me,” said Rosie. “I’ll finally get to see Browses Piece.”
“Yeah, under three feet of snow,” I muttered.
“I think it’s a brilliant idea,” said Lyndz.
“Totally,” agreed Kenny.
It was awful. Everyone seemed really excited. Everyone except me.
“It’ll be pitch dark,” I wailed.
“We’ve got torches,” said Mum.
How did this happen? Now I’d turned into the worry-wart and Mum was the dare-devil! She’d be wearing motorbike leathers next!!
“What would be cool,�
� said Frankie, in her most actressy voice, “is if we had a reeeally good camcorder, so we could, like, interview protesters for our Ecology Zone.” And she looked straight at Andy as she said it.
“You’re in luck,” said Andy. “Nikki got me a fantastic new camcorder for Christmas!”
“How AMAZING!” said Frankie, acting like this was totally news.
“What a shame,” I sighed. “Dad will be bringing Callum home any minute now. There’s no way we can take him to some freezing cold protest site. Not with his chest.”
My little brother catches everything going. Normally Mum totally wraps him up in cotton wool. One-nil to me, I crowed to myself. THAT should do the trick.
Only it didn’t.
“No probs, Fliss,” said Andy. “One phone call should fix that. Steve and Maria won’t mind.” He glanced at Mum. “It’s only once in a millennium.”
If one more person uses that phrase I personally am going to SCREAM, I thought.
Mum went skipping off to organise Thermos flasks. “Make me a nice fat sandwich while you’re at it, Nikki,” Andy called. “I’ll eat when we come back.”
Obviously Andy was inviting himself on this insane expedition too!
The others started pulling on sweaters and socks, chatting away. I put mine on too. I mean, I didn’t exactly have a choice.
This is what they mean by “Millennium Fever”, I thought. People rushing round doing stupid things they’d never usually dream of doing.
Like squandering precious sleepover hours in a cold, dark field, with a bunch of hairy weirdos.
“Cheer up, princess,” grinned Andy as we piled into the car. “It may never happen.”
I folded my arms across my chest, to show my parents I was totally not impressed. “Huh!” I said.
The main road was deserted as we drove out of the village. I decided anyone with any sense was in the warm, watching telly. A huge moon floated over the snowy fields. Isn’t it peculiar, the way the moon always seems to be, like, personally following your car?
Mum and Andy were chatting about the wedding. Well, Mum did most of the talking. Andy said stuff like “Mmm” and “Nice one” and “Ouch. That’s a bit pricey, Nikki.”
Suddenly Kenny gave me a poke in the ribs. “Aren’t you going to stand up to Frankie, you wally?” she growled.
“What?” I said stupidly
Can you guess what the quarrel was about? Frankie was only telling everyone she was going to operate our camcorder! I can’t believe that girl sometimes.
“The protest was MY idea,” Frankie was saying. “If it wasn’t for me, the rest of you wouldn’t even BE here.”
Boy, did Kenny get mad then! “And YOU wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Fliss,” she told her. “Look, we’re a team, OK? That means we all work together.”
“I know what ‘team’ means, thanks very much,” snapped Frankie. “It means we all do the job we’re best at. And filming is my thing. Everyone knows that.”
“We don’t know that at all,” I said. “Admit it! You’re just peeved because the M&Ms got the Media Zone.”
Actually, I think Andy would make an excellent secret agent. Can you believe he was earwigging our back-seat quarrel at the same time he and Mum were having their wedding chat!
“No offence, girls,” he chipped in. “But there’s no way I’m letting any of you loose with my new camcorder.” He sounded friendly but dead firm.
“Oh,” said Frankie in a shocked voice. And she totally shut up.
One – nil toAndy, I thought. I could have hugged him. Well, if he wasn’t driving.
“But I don’t want to be a party pooper,” Andy went on. “So how about if Fliss and Frankie share the interviewing, and I tag along as, like, your loyal cameraman?”
Frankie cheered up at once. I told you she fancies herself as a media star.
Personally I hate being videoed. Especially for something that’s going to be seen by the whole school. Even if I did the interview hiding behind the camera, you’d still hear my voice. I HATE the sound of my voice on tape. It’s so-o weedy Like a squeaky little gerbil.
“Frankie can do it,” I said. “I don’t know what to say.”
“’Course you don’t, princess,” said Andy. He flashed me a huge grin. “There isn’t anything TO say, yet! This film crew is still in transit!”
He flicked on the indicator and turned into Browses Lane. “Hello,” he said. “We’ve hit a traffic jam.”
He was exaggerating. There were four cars crawling along in front of us. The lane hadn’t been gritted and was incredibly slippy.
Suddenly the back end of the car began to slide sideways. I heard a scared gerbil squeak coming from somewhere. Then I realised it was me!
Luckily Andy’s an excellent driver. He corrected the skid really quickly. “No cause for alarm, girls,” he said. “Just checking you’re all still awake!”
“If they do build this DIY place,” said Mum, as if we hadn’t all nearly died in a ditch, “wouldn’t they have to build a proper road?”
“The DIY outfit is just the start, if you ask me,” said Andy. “Before you know it, they’ll sneak in one of those massive supermarkets and I don’t know what else.”
But I’d stopped listening again. Apart from the moon and the car headlights, it was totally dark. I felt a tingle of excitement.
OK, I’ll admit it! I was a tiny bit thrilled to be here. Even if the rest of me wished it was safe at home in the warm.
Suddenly, red and yellow flames kind of sprang out of the dark. My heart gave a big jump inside my chest. Like it was saying, “Yippee! Adventures!” I think the others felt the same, because we all started grinning at each other.
“Ace,” said Kenny. “Camp fires.”
“This is such a radical sleepover,” said Lyndz.
“Yeah, Fliss,” said Rosie. I felt myself blushing in the dark.
Andy stopped the car. To my surprise, there were loads of cars parked there already.
“Oh-oh, I recognise that Volvo!” Rosie hissed.
Guess what! Andy had parked right next to Mrs Poole’s car.
I had a horrible thought. “You don’t think the M&Ms will be here as well, do you?” I asked the others.
“You are kidding,” said Kenny. “Coming here would be WAY too dangerous for them! I expect they’re at home by the fire, knitting themselves a life.”
“Now, now,” Andy teased. We were all still giggling as we piled out of the car.
In case you didn’t know, Browses Piece used to be part of some huge, really ancient forest. I didn’t know myself until recently. To tell you the truth, it was all just grass and trees to me. And you don’t think of them as being in danger, do you?
Suddenly Rosie froze beside me. “You didn’t tell me Browses Piece was haunted!” she whispered.
I felt all the tiny hairs stand up on the back of my neck. Dozens of pale little lights were flitting around in the dark.
But they weren’t ghosts, just live human beings trying to find their way in the pitch dark with torches, storm lanterns, even tatty bits of candle. Now and then, someone tripped over a guy rope and said something rude. We couldn’t believe it. Browses Piece was full of people!
There were tents all over the place. Some of them were dead basic, just bent tree branches covered with heavy-duty polythene. I think they belonged to the serious protesters. It was like Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. Only better, because you could actually smell wood smoke.
Frankie slipped her arm through mine. That’s one good thing about her. She never holds grudges very long. “You’ve got to clock this,” she giggled. “They’ve built these cute little Ewok houses in the wood.”
To humour her, I craned my neck and peered into the smoky darkness. Guess what? Frankie wasn’t kidding. There were lights high in the branches. Just like that wild tree-top town in Return of the Jedi!
Don’t laugh, but I thought some of the protesters looked dead unfriendly. Body-piercing doesn’t b
other me – well, you know, in Leicester city centre, by daylight. But it’s different when you’re in a field, miles from anywhere.
Every time Andy caught someone in the beam of the torch, there was this totally scary glitter of metal. Honestly, they were like some weird kind of alien. Some of them had shaved most of their hair off. You could see, like, their bare skulls. And I don’t just mean the boys!
“Bet you they’ve got serious tattoos under those big coats,” Rosie whispered.
“Are all these people protesters?” said Lyndz.
“I think some of them are just well-wishers,” said Andy.
“There’s Mrs Diggins,” said Mum, sounding surprised. And she went over to say hello.
Mr and Mrs Diggins are this sweet old couple Mum has known for ever. Mr Diggins is always in and out of hospital. But his wife is still totally full of beans. In fact, she’s a bit outrageous. She does yoga and belly-dancing and all sorts! Also, Mum says she has perfect skin. You know, for an old person.
Mum was waving us over.
“Do we have to?” I moaned to Andy.
Before Mum’s interruption, Mrs Diggins had been chatting to some really heavy-duty protesters. Now they were all staring at us.
I felt really out of place. You could tell they were the type of people who would automatically despise a person just because she wore Dizzy Disco Pink nail varnish.
One of the protesters was this, like, bald giant, with major body-piercing. After I’d clocked him, I didn’t even dare look at the others! But Mrs Diggins was totally at home.
“Hello Fliss, dear,” she said. “I was just telling Travis that Dan and I did our courting here, over fifty years ago. In fact, this is where Dan asked me to marry him. And ever since then, it’s been our special place. So when I heard about this protest, I simply had to come. I think you young people are wonderful.” She beamed up at the giant.
People can really surprise you sometimes. I mean, Travis can’t have chatted to Mrs Diggins longer than five minutes, yet he’d winkled all this really personal information out of her.
Travis turned to me. “Your mum says you want to film us,” he said. “For your Millennium project.”
I’m such a sad person. When I get nervous, I don’t make any sense at all. “Erm, thank you,” I said. “Well, actually it’s all of us. Also, it’s not quite exactly a film—”