by Jen Robyn
“Yes,” she agreed. “Better that than being without you altogether.” Even as Julianna spoke the words, a new concern entered her mind. She shut her eyes against it, but Dominick wasn’t fooled.
“There’s something else bothering you,” he said softly. She bit her lip, not wanting to cast a damper on this perfect night they’d shared. As if hearing her thoughts, he raised up on one elbow. “Tell me what’s troubling you, love.”
She nearly had to force the words free.
“Us, Dominick,” she replied finally, earning a look of confusion from him. “From day one, you’ve made it quite clear what you wanted from me, and now... now that you’ve gotten it, I’m afraid I’ll never see you again.”
Surprised, Dominick nearly laughed, but his conscience stopped him. For in the past, there were times that had happened between him and his nightly paramours. However, his mind added quickly, those women weren’t Julianna. Even now, his desire for her was already returning.
But even with this knowledge, he knew it was more than a physical attraction that kept him coming back to her. He genuinely liked being with her. He appreciated her smile, her laughter, her fun and teasing manner, her air of intelligence, her very pleasing and responsive nature—definitely that! he decided—her shifts from being playful to serious, her strength even when vulnerable, and most importantly, her loving and loyal heart.
Ah, surely loving, as Julianna had proven time and again, be it with affection for her nephew, or to the feelings and passion they’d shared tonight. Oddly enough, Dominick felt similarly loving towards her now, although since he’d never known real love before, he wasn’t sure if that was accurate. He supposed it could be, but didn’t want to tell her so unless he believed it completely.
Yet now, she’d spoken as if afraid he’d tired of her already. Definitely not! his mind exclaimed, only then realizing that he’d remained silent for some time, leaving her staring at him now with what seemed like mixed emotions.
“You shouldn’t think so little of yourself, love,” he said seriously. “It may be true that I desired this from you at the start, but as I’ve gotten to know you, I ended up desiring much more. I have no wish to break off our relationship, unless you tell me you wish it so yourself. Instead, I’d like to spend more time with you, so we can learn more of each other.”
“In the bedroom?” Julianna asked suspiciously.
“No, not just for that,” laughed Dominick, not loosing the expression from her face. “Well now, if that look bears any truth, it would seem I’ve changed from knight to ogre yet again, unless you think ogre is too complimentary.”
At her attempt to hide a smile, he continued, “I’ll tell you what I’d like to do, my fair Julianna. I want to hear about your life and family in the reality of your world. I want us to go to new and pleasant dream scenarios to enjoy our time together, and to show you all that can be.” At her curious smile, he cuddled her closer to add, “And perhaps to show you more games lovers play.”
To emphasize his words, he kissed her lingeringly. Afterwards, the look of doubt faded from her eyes.
“All right, I trust you,” she said finally. “I just hope you’re not going to disappear on me to find another like my former boyfriend Roger.”
Dominick shushed her gently. “I’m not leaving you. And let’s not talk about him tonight,” he suggested, earning a nod of agreement from her. Pulling her closer, he murmured against her cheek, “Dearest, promise me you’ll try and forget about him altogether.”
Liking his endearments more and more, she smiled. “Roger who?” she murmured back, earning a chuckle from him.
“Ah, that’s my Julianna,” he whispered, even as things began to fade around them. “It would seem we’d best say our good-byes quickly, love,” Dominick added knowingly, his grip tightening on her shoulder. “Though by heaven, I wish it didn’t have to be like this.”
“You’ll come back for me tomorrow then?”
“I promise, love.”
Their embrace strengthened still more, stealing a few more kisses before they were separated once again. Julianna tried hard to memorize Dominick’s face, just in case there would be no next time for them, and she tried to take comfort in his strength, even as his hold on her became lighter and she felt herself drifting away.
Not yet! her mind demanded. We need more time!
She knew such time was not to be granted however, and in desperation, her troubled thoughts gave rise to the truth of a new emotion. One she wanted deeply to express.
“Farewell until the morrow, love,” she heard him whisper faintly.
Wait, Dominick, I love you! she tried to shout in response, but the words were as lost to him as he was to her.
As she started to wake up in her own room, Julianna heard herself whisper her last thought again, just before full reality set in. Sitting up sharply, she glanced down at her attire. She half expected to find her nightgown lying on the floor, but of course, everything she and Dominick had done was only in a dream.
Despite the fact that it was just a dream, Julianna couldn’t help but feel that she’d lost a part of herself, along with losing Dominick. The vividness and beauty of her dreams made waking all the more painful, and the gap between these two worlds began to weigh heavily upon her.
For it was the dream world that was becoming her favorite world. And what kind of crazy girl would fall in love with an illusion?
Chapter Seven
“Are you drunk?” Vicki asked suspiciously.
Julianna shook her head with a laugh. “What a nice way to greet someone in the morning. “Most people just say, ‘How are you doing?’”
Vicki had no reply, merely watching as Julianna moved airily about her room. Something strange was going on, she decided. It was only 10:00 AM. Normally, her younger sister wouldn’t be up this early on the weekend, usually trying to catch up on sleep after a busy workweek. When Julianna did get up early, she was often listless at best, irritable at worst. But instead, Vicki awoke to hear her humming in her bedroom.
Humming! her mind repeated.
Upon knocking, if she hadn’t heard Julianna respond in her familiar voice, Vicki would have sworn her sister had been kidnapped and replaced by an alien duplicate. When she emerged from her room immediately after, the smile on her face looked bright enough to renew Vicki’s suspicions that this couldn’t possibly be her sister.
Even Crystal was surprised to see Julianna in such good spirits, but she merely laughed at Vicki’s concern. “Better she be unusually happy than depressed,” she stated.
Their sister was totally oblivious to their opinions, caught in her own euphoric state of cloud nine. True, Julianna couldn’t understand what kept bringing Dominick back into her dreams, now three nights in a row. Nor was she sure how long this seeming ‘coincidence’ would persist with its surprising vividness, both when she was asleep and awake. But for all its strangeness, she didn’t question it anymore. She was happy now, for the first time in months.
Her dream knight had given her an inner strength, the feeling of love given and returned—even without the words themselves being spoken—and he was truly a positive influence on her life. He’d even helped ease the pain over Roger’s betrayal. And now, she was beginning to believe the saying that time healed all wounds.
Giving due credit, of course, to Dominick!
“Aunt Julie, can I pul-ease have a cookie?” asked a familiar voice behind her, just before Sammy’s arms wrapped around her legs.
Laughing as she disentangled herself from his grasp, Julianna knelt down to his level, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “Isn’t it a bit early for cookies?” A sad-eyed pout replaced his former brightness, but he said nothing as he shifted feet. “Oh, good heavens. This looks to be an emergency, isn’t it? Well then, I suppose one cookie can’t hurt. Come on.”
Sammy grinned, taking her hand and pulling her towards the kitchen. Julianna laughed heartily at how such a little thing could inspire delight in a child.
As she watched her nephew contentedly munching away at the cookie she’d retrieved from the jar up above, she found herself wondering what her own children might be like someday.
Maybe... like Dominick?
The doorbell rang, and moments later Vicki shouted, “Julie!”
“I’ll get it!” she called back, still a bit dreamy-eyed as she walked to the door. Absently, she wondered where she’d meet Dominick tonight. Another romantic setting? A space scenario? Or perhaps back at the castle again.
Smiling warmly in remembrance of how they’d spent the evening there last night, she opened the door...
And abruptly froze.
“Julie,” the quiet yet familiar voice said, as if from far away. “You’re looking better than ever.”
“No,” she whispered, shaking her head and feeling her skin suddenly turn cold. Roger! What on Earth was he doing here, now of all times, when she was finally moving past what happened? “I’m sorry,” she stammered finally. “You must have the wrong house.”
“Please,” he protested, holding the door ajar with his foot. “I need to speak with you. What you saw in the store wasn’t how it looked. Things have changed in your absence. Can’t you spare me a few minutes, so I can explain?”
Anger replaced her shock. “Explain what?” she bit out. “Explain that you’re in love with another woman? Explain that I’m just someone to pass the time with when it’s convenient? No thanks, Roger. I neither need nor want your explanations. Just get out.”
“I don’t love Marilyn, and she’s out of my life for good.”
So the rumors were true, Julianna thought absently. Still, true or not, it didn’t erase the scene at the store, and she concluded it didn’t matter, hardening her expression.
“I’m very happy for her,” she said coldly.
“And I realize what an idiot I’ve been in regard to you,” Roger continued. “Julie, look I know you must be angry, but I’m really sorry for what happened between us. I was trying to tell you in the supermarket that I was helping Marilyn out simply because her car broke down. But I would have done that for anyone.”
“How convenient that you were able to be there for her, but not for me when I needed it.”
“I see. So this isn’t about Marilyn so much as what happened between us during our last evening together.” The somber look in her eyes confirmed his words. “Julie, if I could do it over, don’t you think I would?”
“I don’t know. Would you?”
“Of course I would.”
Having heard lines like this from him before, she shook her head. “You know, that’s all fine and good for you, Roger. But you’re wasting your time telling me this,” she replied, her voice shaking slightly. “What’s done is done, and there’s no going back. Just because I wanted to take things slow, you couldn’t wait to jump into bed with someone else. All those years I thought you were different, but obviously I was wrong. Now please, just leave.” Before she could shut the door, Roger deftly stepped inside, placing his hands on her shoulders. She flinched against him, but her back was to the door. “Roger, let me go, or I swear I’ll scream,” she nearly yelled.
“Julie, listen to me!” he said firmly, his grip tightening. “The last thing I want is to have you screaming for your family, but I’m not leaving until you hear me out.” Sighing once as she fell silent, he began more quietly, “I understand your anger, Julie, and I don’t blame you for it. Heaven knows I haven’t done much to earn otherwise from you lately. But ever since that evening you came to my apartment to find me, all I’ve wanted to do was run over here to set things right between us.”
Keeping her expression neutral, she asked quietly, “So why didn’t you then?”
“I didn’t think there could be any going back, so I chose the simplest route by trying to forget you instead,” he replied softly. His eyes became almost pleading. “But I couldn’t do that, which is why I’m here now. Our relationship means something to me.” Seeing the uncertain disbelief in her expression, he released her shoulders, continuing even more gently, “Julie, please... can’t you give us another chance? I swear things will never be like before again.”
Julianna turned away quickly, as if she feared being burned from having conversed with the devil himself.
Not too far from the truth actually, she considered.
His words were just what she’d wanted to hear before, and yet... how could she go against every fiber of her being to forgive him? He’d done nothing but hurt her before, and undoubtedly would again if she gave him his so-called chance. Her mixed feelings voiced a different response.
“I don’t know,” she said brokenly. “You’re like a stranger to me now, Roger. How can I trust anything you say anymore?”
“Give me time to prove it to you,” he murmured, moving closer to press a kiss to her forehead. “Please, Julianna, let me make it up to you.”
He hadn’t used her full name in the longest time, and the way he spoke it now, it sounded like an endearment.
If his words were poisoned again, they were sweetly lethal, she thought absently, surprised at this display of tenderness from one she’d no longer believed had the capability for it.
Even so, his last words triggered a different memory.
Dominick.
He’d used similar words in last night’s dream, hadn’t he? Yet that argument had stemmed from a misunderstanding. He’d acted from what he thought to be a betrayal, while in Roger’s case, he’d caused the betrayal himself. Two different situations entirely.
Dominick... her mind repeated. Would he vanish from her dreams forever if she accepted Roger’s invitation to try again? In fact, would he vanish anyway in days to come?
Turning back to face Roger, she tried to look in control, but it was a hopeless gesture. Despite her best efforts, she was confused again. As if sensing this, Roger used her silence to advantage, pulling her close to hold her.
Somehow, she couldn’t find the will to break free.
“Julianna, how I’ve missed you,” he whispered. “It’s going to be different this time, I promise you.”
Promises in words but not actions! her angry thoughts reminded her. Yet logic wasn’t always as easy to accept as some seemed to think, warring with her former feelings. Instead of pushing him away, she simply frowned and said nothing.
“Why don’t we spend the day together to do some catching up?” he suggested softly. “We can go for a drive, and find a restaurant where we can get lunch and talk.”
For long moments, Julianna considered the offer.
Until logic finally took full rein, prompting her to shake her head. “I’m afraid I can’t,” she said softly. “I have some work due tomorrow that can’t wait, and I want to get it done before I’m too tired later. You’d better go.”
Roger pulled back to stare into her eyes as if about to rebel, but then to her surprise, he accepted her words with a calm smile.
“All right,” he agreed. “But I’ll be back later to rescue you from that workload. Maybe over dinner?”
“Roger…”
“Shhh… just think about it.”
Not certain how to reply—admittedly, only half listening now—Julianna could only give a slight nod. Before she even realized it, he started to leave, stepping back to pull the door shut behind him. Just before it shut completely, he added with a smile, “It’s good to see you again, Julie. I can’t tell you how much just now, but I will.”
The door’s closing hammered against her ears, but even when Sammy’s abrupt pleading for another cookie began, Julianna was too at a loss for words to pay any attention to either. After all this time, why on Earth had Roger suddenly rendered her speechless?
It wasn’t as if she’d completely forgiven him for what he’d done, so it made no sense. So much different from last night when she’d wholeheartedly forgiven Dominick for his actions without reservation. Dear heaven, she wished he was here right now to hold her and to kiss her concerns away as he did so well. If
he’d been here beside her, she wouldn’t have hesitated to send Roger walking without a second glance. And she’d certainly have told him where he could go tonight!
But that wasn’t what had happened at all.
Instead, she’d been caught off-guard by a weak moment.
“Oh, Dominick...” she whispered brokenly, clutching her arms tightly. “I wish you were here.”
*****
Buddy and Inferno stared at Dominick with confusion as he sauntered into Lost Limbo with the unmistakable air of better spirits. The girls at their table were equally puzzled over the grin on his face, but Kiri assured them with a conspiratorial smile that her psychic ability would pick up any conversation the guys might have.
“Your best, Zantarl!” Dominick called out cheerfully.
The near middle-aged bartender, who instantly returned a smile as the dreamphaser approached, wondered what had changed since his argument with Buddy yesterday. His curiosity showed through his amber eyes, although they were only good at seeing through material substances—not reading minds, like Kiri could.
As the proprietor of Lost Limbo for many years, despite his fairly youthful appearance, Zantarl had become well acquainted with Dominick and the group he associated with. He related to Dominick the most though, since the lad was alone more than the others—except for his dealings with various women, here and there—and had such a distant relationship from his parents.
In fact, since Zantarl had all but been there when Dominick was born, he came to regard him as the son he never had—having five daughters from his current marriage. Fortunately, his wife Dreeana had been even more attached to the boy, always being available with a brownie and a warm hug over the years. Yes, while they loved their own children dearly, no mistake about that, Zantarl and his wife both looked at Dominick with the fondness of family.
As for their daughters’ reaction to Dominick, they rarely protested his visiting, particularly since a few had cases of ‘puppy love’ since he’d transformed from a cute boy to a handsome man. But despite his charm with the ladies, Zantarl never worried that Dominick would turn his amorous attentions on his own girls, since he stated quite clearly one time that he loved them all as the sisters he never had. No, Dominick regarded them as his foster family, and he was a good lad. A bit rough around the edges sometimes, but good deep down.