by J. L. Wilson
“After I quit school, I bounced around the country for a while then I did go overseas. That’s why I couldn’t be here when your dad died. I didn’t even know about it until I heard about your brother, Mike, dying. I called Dibs when I got back in the States to get caught up on people—you—and he told me about it.”
“I read about your trip in Europe,” I said, taking Mom’s favorite chair. “Time had that article about you.”
Bell smiled wryly. “It glossed over some of my more interesting adventures, like landing in a Swiss jail for almost a year.”
I choked on my drink. Athos, who watched us suspiciously, took that as an excuse to race out of the room. I would probably find him curled up on my bed later. “What?” I managed to croak.
“There’s one other thing they’ve glossed over for all these years. I’ve made sure it doesn’t get any air time in any stories about me.” He walked across the room, staring down at the CD player. If he noticed his CD sitting on top, he didn’t mention it. “It’s something you need to know about me, Wendy. It’s bound to come out sooner or later, and it’s best that I tell you about it instead of you hearing about it from someone in the press who’s done research on me.”
I set my glass on a nearby end table and sat up straight in the chair, the picture of attention. “I’m ready, Mr. Bell. What big secret do you have to tell me? Let’s see, you were in jail in Switzerland. Were you smuggling drugs?” I regarded him with mock seriousness. “No, I doubt that. You’re too smart for that. Did you steal something? Maybe.” I nodded thoughtfully. “I could see you doing that.”
“This is serious, Wendy.” He turned to face me, his face set and hard.
“I’m sure it is, Bell. And I’m sure I can find out all about it in the newspapers if I do a bit of digging.”
“Not unless all my bribes are wasted.” His pale green eyes searched my face as though he could find a clue to my feelings there.
His calm, unwavering stare was disconcerting. “What did you do, Bell? Don’t tell me. You killed a man.” I shook my head. “I doubt even the Swiss would forgive that.”
He nodded. “You’re right. It took me a while to convince them that it was justifiable homicide.”
Chapter 9
“What?” I would have shot to my feet but I was so surprised I was literally paralyzed.
“I killed someone. There’s something else you need to know.” He sat down on the couch on my left and set his glass next to mine on the end table. “I have a daughter.”
I stared at him, my jaw sagging. “What?”
He nodded. “She’s not my daughter by blood, but I’m responsible for her. Her mother and I were involved. Filette was just a toddler when I met her mother. That’s the nickname I gave her. Her real name is Fay.” Bell stared down at the floor, his shoulders hunched. “Filette is handicapped. She’s severely autistic. Her mother, Charmine, was a French student and she did drugs. Filette’s father was an addict and—well, you can see where I’m going with this. I met Charmine when she was in Switzerland at a clinic, getting straight.”
I managed to swallow around the lump in my throat. “Were you a patient, too?”
“No.” Bell clasped and unclasped his hands, dangling between his knees. “I worked there. I bummed around a lot after college, getting odd jobs here and there. I went overseas and hitchhiked around Europe.”
He smiled and I smiled tremulously in return. That was something he always wanted to do and something I could never imagine doing. It was one of the main reasons we broke up. Bell was always willing to lean over the cliff and see what was below. I always hung back.
“I was a guard on the premises. When Charmine was admitted, there was nowhere else for Filette to go, so they let her stay at the clinic. A mother-daughter deal, I guess you could say.” He smiled coldly. “Charmine’s parents were very high society and very wealthy and all they wanted was for their daughter and their illegitimate granddaughter to be out of sight and out of mind.”
“How old were you?” My hand was shaking so hard it was difficult to pick up my glass. I managed, though, and drank down a lot of liquor, trying to still my thudding heart and slow down my racing brain.
“Twenty-four. Anyway, long story short—Charmine’s boyfriend came looking for her at the clinic, we fought, and I killed him. It was an accident, but it took a while for the Swiss legal system to come to the conclusion that the world was better off with him dead. I was released, Charmine’s parents took her away, and Filette was thrown into a mental institution and got no help whatsoever.”
“What happened after that?” I probably didn’t need to ask. I knew what Bell would do.
“Charmine died a year later of a drug overdose. Her parents wanted nothing to do with their grandchild, so I assumed responsibility for her and eventually formally adopted her. I got her into a good school in England and she learned some social skills. She can’t live alone outside the group home, but she’s okay where she is. She’s twenty-six now.” He frowned thoughtfully. “She’s older than I was when I adopted her. Man, time sure does fly.”
I could easily visualize Bell at that age, adopting a three-year-old child. He was such a free spirit in many ways, but he also had a strong sense of right and wrong. He would never abandon any vulnerable creature if he could do anything to help.
“I wanted you to know, because it might come out. My visits to her are strictly confidential and everything is paid through a third party, but the press can be dogged about that kind of thing. Every now and then Charmine’s family makes a fuss and tries to shake me down for money by threatening to go to the press, but I have legal teams in Europe who handle them.”
I thought about what he said while I took a sip of my drink. “Did my mother know?”
“Yes. I told her about it. We talked about your father and his death. I told her why I couldn’t be here.”
“Because you were in jail,” I murmured. “Pretty good reason.”
“I didn’t want to just send a card or write a letter. It was years later before I found out. Your father died, your brothers died—” Bell looked at me, his face tight with sadness. “There are no words of sympathy for losses like that. I wish I could have been here. I would do anything I could to help, you know that.”
I smiled. “I know. And I’m sure that Mom knew, too.”
“I should have been here.” He looked down at his hands, frowning. “I wanted to be here.”
“Is that why you’re so anxious to be with me again? Are you making up for your absence?” Before he could answer, I hurried on. “You don’t owe us anything.”
“It’s not a matter of what I owe you.” He raised his head to regard me. “You’re family, Wendy. It’s that simple.”
Footsteps scuffled at the front steps and someone knocked. “It’s not that simple. You and I have a complicated past.” I reached for the front door.
“It’s not complicated if we have a future,” he said quietly.
I peered through the side window and opened the door. “We’ll discuss this later.”
He smiled. “I look forward to it.”
Lightly and Totts entered, Totts carrying a twelve-pack of beer and Lightly a bottle of wine. “We weren’t sure what was needed so we thought we’d cover the bases,” Lightly said with a laugh, handing me the bottle.
“Dibs is right behind us. He’s bringing the bourbon.” Totts entered the room and held out his hand to Bell. “It’s been a long time, Tom.”
“How’s it going, Totts?” Bell stood, shaking hands with the taller man. Seeing all of them together made me remember that they all played high school sports together and were in various male clubs together. They each had a set of memories in addition to the ones I had with them.
Dibs came shortly after that and soon we were all crowded into the dining room, drinks in hand, while Bell presided in the kitchen and babied his masterpieces in and out of the oven while we talked and drank. He set them on the counter with a flourish. �
�The world’s best pizza,” he said triumphantly.
“I get dibs on first piece,” Dibs said and we all laughed. We each filled our plates and went back into the dining room.
“I expect to see Nanna come over to me and wait for pizza crust,” Lightly said. “She loved pizza. What kind of dog was she?”
“Big,” Totts said around a mouthful of pizza. “She was like a small horse.”
“Part Newfoundland and part Lab, I think.” It seemed natural for Bell’s leg to press against mine under the table. “She died about a year after Mike died. I think she had a broken heart. Mike and Dad were her favorites and they died within a couple of years of each other.”
“That was tough for you and your mom,” Dibs said. “First your father died then Mike had that swimming accident at college and drowned.”
“And then Bell and I broke up and Bell went away then I went away and John went to the Army and suddenly the house was empty.” I sipped my wine. “It was toughest on Mom, I think. She was so used to having kids running in and out.”
“When did John join the Army?” Lightly asked.
“He went to college for a year but his heart wasn’t in it. Then he took some odd jobs, but didn’t find anything he liked. I think he always wanted to be a soldier. Finally, Mom told him to go if that’s what he wanted so bad.” I took another swallow of wine, my old griefs mingling with my new one. “Then he died, too, and Mom and I were left with each other.”
There was a short, poignant silence at the table then Totts said, “I always enjoyed talking with your mom. She would stop in once a year to go over her legal affairs and she always talked about what you two were doing.”
“Us two?” I asked, my hand pausing as I raised my glass.
“You and Tom. She and Tom were always in contact.” Totts looked at Bell, puzzled.
“I wrote to her now and then,” Bell said, his voice neutral and off-handed.
Now and then? I made a mental note to go through Mom’s things one more time and see if I could find any of his letters.
“I would chat with her when she came into the bank,” Lightly said, unaware of my simmering curiosity. “I remember one time around Christmas we were talking about exchanging Christmas cards and she was sorry to see that tradition not being done much anymore. She said it was often the only way to stay caught up with people. I told her about exchanging Christmas cards with Peter’s mom and she was surprised I stayed in touch with her.” Lightly shrugged. “Sylvia stayed in touch with me, really, not the other way around.”
“I don’t do many Christmas cards,” I said. “There’s not much to talk about, I guess.”
“There’ll be stuff to talk about this year,” Dibs said with a sly smile at me and Bell.
I started to protest but Bell spoke first. “Where is Sylvia living? The last I heard, she was in California.”
Lightly nodded. “Her card last year had a new return address on it. I noticed it because it was one of those labels that says, I’ve moved, or something like that. I got the card at the bank and I remember showing it to your mother, Wendy. I thought that was a good way to do two things at once—notify people about a change of address and send out cards.”
“Tina lived in California, too,” Totts said. “She moved out there after graduation. You remember her? Tina Lilly, Peter’s girlfriend.”
I nodded. “He always called her Tiger.”
Lightly laughed. “He said she was a real tiger in bed. I don’t know if I believe that or not, though. Seems to me they were more friends than, you know, girlfriend/boyfriend.”
“Yeah.” Dibs took another slice of pizza, his third. Totts looked like he wanted another slice, but he eyed Dibs’ girth and restrained himself. “She died out in California a couple of years after she moved there. That was odd.”
“Why was it odd?” I sipped my drink, watching the interplay between the four men. In some ways, it was like they had never been apart, but it was weird to see them as grown-ups when I had known them as young men. It was hard to separate memory from reality sometimes.
“She was swimming in the ocean, I think, near Santa Barbara.” Dibs wiped his chin with his napkin before continuing. “High tide came in and she got caught in a cave or something like that. Tina was the strongest swimmer on the swim team. Why didn’t she just swim out of there? Besides, what was she doing there in the first place?”
“The cove?”
“California,” Dibs said with a sweeping gesture. “She was going to school at Ames, studying social work or something. She wanted to work on the Indian reservation over in Tama. Her father was part-Indian, remember? Anyway, she was in school and then she up and quits and moves to California. And two years after that she was dead.” He shook his head. “Weird.”
I glanced at Bell and saw the wheels churning in his mind. I could tell his detective would be called soon for another check into the past.
“Your mom never liked Tina,” Lightly said. “Of course, I don’t think she liked Peter very much, either.”
“Mom never pulled punches about her opinions,” I admitted. “Although she always did so in such a ladylike way.”
An awkward silence fell then Bell said, “It’s good you lived so nearby. You could visit her often.”
I nodded. That was one reason I didn’t move far away. The other reason was that I just wasn’t that adventurous and had no desire to explore life away from Iowa. Des Moines was about as far away as I cared to go. Plus, after my brothers and father died, I knew Mom appreciated the fact I could come to be with her at all holidays and often in between. “It’s weird to think I won’t be visiting her anymore,” I said softly. “I used to come and stay at least once a month, sometimes more often, especially after she got sick.”
“Lots of adjustments to make,” Bell murmured.
“If what they say in the newspapers is true, there are more adjustments than that in store,” Totts said with another sly look.
“Don’t believe everything you read.” I glanced at Bell and saw his wide-eyed innocent look. I nudged him, hard, and he wiped the look off his face.
“One story said something about Shadow. It said you were looking for him. What’s that about? Peter’s dead isn’t he?” Dibs took another slice of pizza. Totts gave in and took another one, too. I smiled at his capitulation.
Bell got up and made himself another drink, his back to the others in the room. “Is he? Or is there something about that night that no one ever knew about?”
I looked around the table. Lightly and Totts looked embarrassed. Dibs wouldn’t look at me. “What?” I demanded. “You guys all look guilty. What happened?”
“Nothing,” Dibs said quickly.
I shot him an admonishing look. “Dibs, you never did lie very well. What happened?” I looked at Bell when he sat back down, but he just shrugged.
Lightly and Totts exchanged a look. “It was a joke gone sour, I guess you could say,” Totts said. He took a big bite of pizza, which effectively shut him up when the others darted cautionary looks at him.
“What joke?” I looked from one to the other. Lightly, Totts, and Dibs all looked uncomfortable. I recognized that look. They were hiding something. “What?”
“You know what a prankster Peter was,” Dibs said after a long pause. “He was going to play a joke on everybody. He wanted to scare people and pretend to jump out that window.”
“He did jump,” I stated. “I saw him.”
“Well, yeah, but—we caught him,” Lightly said.
“What?”
All three men starting talking at once.
“He said it would be a big joke on his mom.”
“You know how she was never there.”
“He said for once he’d be the one who ran away from home and he’d make her act like the grown-up for a change.”
“I think it was payback. You know his mom slept around. Somebody told us she was sleeping with our guidance counselor, Jamie Lim.”
“What?�
�� I managed to interrupt the flow of words. “I thought Lim and Peter were—”
Bell nudged me. “What happened? How did you do it?”
Lightly, Totts, and Dibs exchanged a sheepish look. It was Totts who explained. “Remember fire safety drills in high school?”
I nodded. “We had to evacuate the building and stand around outside. They did them once a month or so, didn’t they?”
Lightly took up the story. “Well, some of us guys were called on as junior Fire Marshalls. We were shown how to use a tarp to catch people who jumped. We used one of those life-net things. The fire department guys told us to use it as a last resort.” He grinned but it faded when he saw Bell’s frown. “I guess the fire department didn’t use it much.”
“They’ve got trucks and ladders and stuff,” Dibs said. “They don’t need tarps.”
“Anyway,” Lightly resumed, “we took the net thing out of the school locker room.”
“I had a key,” Totts said. “They stored it in the equipment locker.”
“Peter told us to be ready at nine-thirty that night,” Lightly said. “It would be dark enough by then on that side of the barn.”
I tried to visualize the scene but I’ve never been good at directions. Bell knew immediately what they meant, though. “The barn was on an east-west axis,” he said. “The doors and the window on that side faced east.”
Totts nodded. “It was northeast, I think. Anyway, it was in the shadows, away from the sunset. Peter used the side away from the house, the side that faced the fields. We were there, waiting for him, when he jumped. He hit the net and took off running.”
“Did Sylvia know?” Bell asked. He was tense beside me, no longer loose and relaxed. I could tell his mind was racing a million miles an hour, trying to process all this information. I was beyond such activity. I was stunned.
The three men exchanged another puzzled look. “I don’t think so,” Totts said. “If she knew, she would never have identified that body. She thought Peter was dead.”