I couldn't understand why I had thought it a good idea to base the future of my career on whether I could get my fuck buddy to agree to a photo shoot that he had absolutely no investment in. The worst part was how pleased with myself I had been when Jennifer lapped up my lies like a kitten lapping up milk. An evil, dictator-like kitten, but still. I was happy. Everyone in the office was happy. Even Jennifer herself kept the yelling to a minimum (though she did berate Tim pretty badly when she saw that there was dairy milk in his coffee instead of soy, like she preferred us to have). I was the office hero. Somehow, I had tamed the beast. Not only that, but I was given permission to work from home for a while. In my mind that meant sleeping in, wearing my pajamas all day and taking frequent breaks to bake myself some brownies or read some of the books I had been meaning to catch up on.
It wasn't until I got home that the reality of the situation hit me. If I couldn't get Vince to come through for me on this one, I was fucked. Worse than fucked, actually. I was fired. I had gotten my job at Catwalk by a miracle in the first place. After all, it was the only fashion magazine in our city. I had been convinced that I would have to move to New York or Los Angeles if I really wanted to pursue my dream. It had turned out that I was able to follow my dream without even moving, and that had been amazing. If I got fired I would either have to start working in retail again or move to New York or LA and pray that some magazine would be willing to take me on with no reference. Shit. I couldn't do that.
I spent my first few days at home trying to distract myself. I created a few idea collages from magazines and wrote down keywords. Complete newbie exercises but it made me feel like I was doing something without undertaking the now terrifying task of contacting Vince and asking him for a favor. When i ran out of work related distractions, I cleaned my place from top to bottom and organized my clothes into piles. There was a 'keep' pile, a 'donate' pile and a 'garbage' pile. Almost nothing ended up in the 'keep' pile.
Jennifer called me every hour or so for updates and I lied valiantly every time. It seemed to be the only thing that I was good at these days.
"That's great that it's all going so well, Lola," she had consistently remembered my name, "But I wish that I could talk to this Vinny character. Do you think that you could arrange that soon?"
I panicked.
"Uh, uh...he's a very private person and now that he trusts me he keeps insisting that I'm the only person he wants to talk to. But I mean, I can try to get him to talk to you if you want. I'm just scared that might make him want to pull out, if we don't respect his wishes," I babbled. Luckily, Jennifer accepted my excuse.
"Oh right, forget it then. We don't want to lose out here. I'm sure I can talk to him on the day of the shoot."
If there even was a shoot. After a few days of this same anxious cycle I gave in. I had to call Vince now. If I was going to get fired then I was better off knowing sooner rather than later.
I took a deep breath and found his number in my contact list, pressing 'call' before I could talk myself out of it. I sat on my sofa and listened to it ring a few times before it was sent to voice mail. Shit. Vince's voice was clear and strong:
"Hey, it's Vince here. Leave a message and I'll get back to you if I feel like it. Bye."
Shit. Even his voice mail message was annoying. But I couldn't afford to be bitchy with him. Not now, when I needed so much from him.
"Hi Vince," I said, putting on my perkiest voice, "It's Lola here."
I paused, wondering if I should add 'Lola who ran you over and almost killed you' just in case he had a harem of other Lola's in his life, but I decided against it.
"I just wanted to ask you if you'd like to be involved in a project I'm organizing for the magazine. It would be great publicity for the new accessory line and for your shop. We would both get a lot out of it," I sighed, "Look I really need this, OK? So if you could get back to me soon that would be great. Thanks Vince."
His voice mail cut me off just after I had finished. I hoped to god that he checked his messages regularly. He was a business man, he had to right? I tried to distract myself by watching TV for a while, but my heart was pumping and I checked my cell phone every ten seconds. I got a text after a few hours.
"I'm busy right now."
That was it. He didn't even say hi or anything. He didn't even say my name. I chastised myself for believing that he might make an effort for me. He didn't give a shit about me. I had bought him his drinks and sucked his dick, so in his eyes I had served my purpose. He was done with me.
I was fucked.
Vince
I felt bad for being such a jackass to Lola. She obviously needed a favor from me, I just couldn't give it to her. Don't get me wrong -a part of me wanted to help her any way that I could. I knew that that was a bad idea though. We couldn't see each other anymore.
It seemed simple enough but I kept thinking about her. Even when Brett dragged me out to a club to help him pick up chicks on Saturday night. It didn't help that the club happened to be The Ruby Lounge, where I had met up with Lola last time. It was totally different on club night than it was during the week. It was packed to the brim with wealthy young people dancing, drinking and hooking up with each other. Every single girl seemed to be more beautiful than the last and they were all showing off their toned bodies with a number of skimpy garmets. It didn't matter though, because I wasn't in the mood.
I tried to focus on getting Brett laid, but even that didn't seem to work. He pointed out a girl to me, a cute Asian chick wearing a crop top and tiny shorts.
"That's the one! I'm gonna hook up with her tonight. I need to. Help me out, buddy?" he asked. He had been a dick to me all night but I couldn't turn down a friend in need. This was what I was good at. If I wasn't going to use my skills for myself tonight then I might as well use them to help Brett get his dick wet. God knows he couldn't manage it by himself.
I walked up to where the girl was sitting at the bar, enjoying a cocktail and sat next to her. She smiled at me right away.
"Wanna buy me a drink?" she asked, smirking. I shrugged and called over the bartender. It was that jerk off Tom who had been checking out Lola the other night. He recognized me immediately and I could tell that he wanted to run away but he forced himself to come take my order.
"Hey," he said, "Good to see you again."
"Yeah, you too buddy," I said. Neither of us meant it, "Get me one of those French beers and a Strawberry Daiquiri for the lady."
She wrinkled her nose at me.
"Ew, I hate those. I'll have another mojito please," she said to Tom. He hesitated and looked at me. I shrugged again.
"Whatever, get her a mojito then." "Sure. I'll be right back."
The girl grinned at me.
"I didn't catch your name. I'm Amy," she said, holding out her hand for me to shake. I shook it dutifully.
"Hi Amy, I'm Vince. You havin' a good night here?" I asked. Her smile widened.
"I wasn't until you came over," she said. I ignored her comment and looked back at Brent, who was standing awkwardly at the other side of the club. I gave him a thumbs up to show him that things were going OK.
"That's great. Look, my friend Brett over here has really taken a liking to you Amy. He would love to get to know you. If you want to head over there and join him for a drink then I'm sure he'd be really happy," I said. I went on, "He's a really good guy. Very funny, and he's rich too."
Amy peered over at Brett and wrinkled her nose as Tom set our drinks down in front of us. I handed him a fifty and told him to keep the change, which made his face light up.
"Thanks man!" he said, obviously not remembering my name. He went off to serve the customers at the other side of the bar. Amy smiled back at me
"That was a really generous tip you gave, Vince. You must have money too," she said.
"You could say that. Anyway, why don't you take your mojito and my beer over to Brett? He looks pretty thirsty to me," I said, but Amy rolled her eyes.
"Your friend Brent i
s not my type."
"-Brett."
"Yeah OK, whatever," she took a sip of her drink, "The only person I'd consider going home with tonight is you."
"Then you're going home alone, baby."
She laughed as if she thought I was joking but it soon became clear from my expression that I was not. Amy sniffed, grabbed her drink and marched away from the bar. I could see her calling me an asshole under her breath. Tom came back and gave a low whistle.
"Woah, she seemed really into you. How did you mess that one up?" he asked. I shook my head. The last thing I needed was a heart to heart with this little shit.
"I told her that I'm not gonna fuck her," I said. Tom looked surprised. "Why not?"
I took a swig of my beer.
"Not my type I guess. Hey, I'll give you another hundred if you can keep bringing me these beers for the rest of the night," I said, enjoying the taste. Tom looked taken aback by my generosity. I knew that he probably didn't even have enough money to get a haircut. It felt good that one thing I had over him was money.
"Wow, that's really generous of you Vince. I would do that if I could, but I can't. I get off in ten minutes and then I have to go take Lola for a late dinner," he said, adding the last part a little bit too proudly.
"What?" I was almost daring him to repeat himself but he didn't seem to be intimidated.
"Yeah, Lola and I have a date. I always had a thing for her in college but I was way too shy to do anything about it. When I saw her again the other night it was like everything I felt back then came back to me and I really, really wanted to ask her out," he swallowed, looking a little bit nervous now, "I guess when I saw you two together I thought that you might be dating so I gave up on that idea. But then she came in for a drink last night and told me she was single. So I asked her out and she said yes."
Seriously? Lola had agreed to date this little twerp? He was the same age as her but he looked practically prepubescent. It felt like shit to be replaced, but it felt even shittier to be replaced by such a poor imitation. I hid my frustration and gave him a smile.
"That's great Tom. She's a good girl." "She is," he beamed.
"So, where are you taking her then?" I asked. His face went a little bit red.
"Well, I wanted to take her somewhere really nice for our first date, but it was such short notice that I don't really have the funds. So we're going out to a burrito bar," he said the last part very quietly as if he didn't want me to hear it, but my hearing was razor sharp. This shrimp wanted to take a girl like Lola for soggy tacos at 10pm? Was he for real? I couldn't allow that.
I grabbed my wallet and pulled a few notes from it, pressing them into his hand.
"There's a nice Italian place called Gino's on Ford street. They open late and they're usually pretty quiet in there but their food is good and they play good music. Don't order pizza, you'll look like an idiot. And pronounce the Italian words properly. She'll be eating from the palm of your hand," I said. Tom looked shocked but he took the money and thanked me repeated before he ended his shift. "No need to thank me. Just invite me to the wedding," I said. I glugged back the rest of my beer as I watched him leave, as excited as a school boy who just got to second base. It pissed me off but at the same time made me feel good that Lola would have a good night. I just hoped that it wouldn't be too good.
Brett didn't bother to come over. Somehow he had gotten a girl to talk to him by his own accord and now they were making out and grinding on the dance floor. I finished my beer and decided that it was time to go.
This shit just wasn't for me tonight.
Lola
Tom was a nice guy. He always had been. I'd done a minor in Art History in college and he's sat next to me on the first day of class. Ever since that first conversation I knew that Tom was nice. He always saved me a seat and wrote out a second copy of his notes for me if I missed a class. He was always the designated driver, the shoulder to cry on when I'd been dumped and the person I told everything to. He was almost too nice, actually. I guess that was why I had never given him a chance. You know how they say that women are only attracted to assholes? I didn't believe that, not for a minute. I just happened to be one of the rare exceptions who seemed to be drawn to jerks. Well that would change now.
The two of us drifted apart after college but it was nice to bump into him that night at the bar. He had gotten taller but besides that it didn't seem like he had aged at all.
Tom was such a contrast to Vince, and I liked that. Tom wouldn't screw me over. No, he didn't turn me on like Vince did, but maybe he could someday. I wasn't getting younger. I had to compromise. That was why I went back to the bar on Friday night. That's why I told him I was single and that's why when he asked me out, I said yes.
I waited for him to finish work on Saturday night. I parked my car across the street from The Ruby Lounge, watching the giant queue of people move at a snail's pace. I was so grateful to be over the whole clubbing scene. It had always been so much more trouble than it was worth.
God, I really was getting old.
Tom emerged right when he said he would and crossed the street to me. He wore a t-shirt and jeans and a dopey grin on his face. Shit, was I really doing this? Janey and Allison would laugh their asses off if they could see me now. I bet that they wouldn't laugh so much if Tom actually turned out to be a great guy and we got engaged or something. Then I would be laughing.
"Hey Lola!" Tom got into the passenger seat and gave me a big smile, "You look amazing!"
I really didn't. We were going to some tacky burrito place on the other side of town so I thought that dressing up would make me look silly. I wore a smart pair of black jeans, a tank top and a cardigan. I looked passable but certainly not amazing. I hadn't even remembered to put lipstick on.
"Thanks Tom, you look nice too. So, ready to go to Burrito Joe's?" I asked, my voice sounding more deadpan than I wanted it too. I didn't even like burritos.
"It's Burrito Bob's, not Burrito Joe's, and no, we're not going there. Change of plan," he said. Oh great. Where were we going instead? Panda Palace? Burger Baron's? That weird Thai place where somebody found a roach in their red curry last year? Tom's answer surprised me, "I'm taking you to Gino's!"
"Huh?" I said, making sure that I heard him right. I knew Gino's. Jennifer had taken me and my co-workers there for a working lunch a while back. I hadn't managed to enjoy it since my stomach had been in knots but it was a fancy place. Fancier than Tom could afford.
"Yup, Gino's," he said proudly, "I feel like Italian tonight. Not Pizza though -something classier."
I went along with it and drove the short drive to the restaurant. It certainly sounded more appealing than Burrito Bob's. Tom was really trying to impress me. It was almost working too.
I pulled up outside the restaurant and the two of us got out of the car.
"Wow Lola, you are so good at parking. What's your secret?" he asked as we entered the restaurant. I laughed, think that he was being sarcastic, but quickly silenced myself when I was released that he was being totally serious.
"Oh, um thanks. I just try to pay attention to what I'm doing," I said.
This date idea worked well as a distraction from everything that I was worried about. I didn't need to think about Jennifer or Vince tonight. I was on a date with a good guy who was kind of handsome if you squinted. I was eating Italian food. I wasn't going to worry.
I was finishing up my dessert when the waitress brought over the bill. It was even bigger than I had expected and suddenly I felt horrible for ordering so much food.
"Oh god," I said as I pulled out my purse, "That's even more expensive than I thought. Here, let me get it."
Tom put his hand on my purse and pushed it away.
"No, it's OK really Lola. I asked you out, I'm paying," he said. I continued to argue. "At least let me get my own."
"No, it's OK," he said. I watched him put down a few fifties and hand them to the waitress. What, was he a pimp in secret or something? Ho
w did he have all that money to spend on me?
"But Tom, how can you afford this?" I said. He just gave me a wary smile.
"I earn more than you think," he said. Obviously. I accepted his answer and the two of us headed outside, back to the car. Before I could start it up he turned to me.
"Can I kiss you, Lola?" he asked, in the same voice that he would use if he was asking me for a pencil. His eyes were so wide and earnest, full of hope, that I couldn't refuse him.
"Sure," I said casually. His eyes widened even more. "On the lips?"
"Uh yeah, why not?" I said, though I was regretting saying yes now. I gave him the quickest ever peck on the lips and pulled away, starting the car before he could go in for a second one.
"That was amazing," he said to himself, "Amazing."
I tried to focus on the road. All I wanted was to go home, get into my pajamas and curl up with a hot mug of tea. This date had been a mistake from the start. I just needed to get rid of Tom.
"So, where do you live?" I asked. Tom took that the wrong way and without even looking at him I could tell that he had a boner. The thought of it made me shudder. I allowed him to direct me
through a few streets until I pulled up right outside his apartment building.
"Well, I had great night," I said, in as distant a voice that I could. He beamed at me.
"Me too Lola, a really great night. I think it was really special. You know it's funny, I've been imagining this night for years in my head, but it turned out even better than I was hoping," he babbled. Oh Christ. Janey and Allison would die when I told them about tonight. At least it would make a good story.
Sweetest Sin: Bad Boy Bundle Page 49