”That’s what the doctor says, but I feel like I’m about to pop,” she said with a grimace.
I laughed. ”Yeah, it does seem to drag on, doesn’t it?”
She cocked her head, studying my face for a second. “Yeah. You’re right. It does.”
I knew my mistake immediately. I let on that I knew what it was like to be pregnant. I looked over at Levi and smiled. I felt like I needed to say something to clarify what I accidentally let slip out.
“I have a younger brother. I remember my mom being pregnant, and she would say the same thing.”
Sydney smiled but didn’t look convinced. I glanced over and saw Todd wave at me from a little ways down the shore. I waved back and Levi noticed. “You want to go say hi, don’t you?” he asked me teasingly.
“Yes. I don’t want things to be awkward between us. He’s a sweet guy.”
“Why would things be awkward with Todd?” Sydney asked.
Levi grinned wickedly and spoke before I could, “Katie went out on a date with him once but turned him down for a second one.”
This obviously surprised her. “Wow, I’m impressed. He’s usually so shy.”
I laughed. “You have no idea. Anyway, I’m going to say hi to him. I’ll see you later.” I started to walk away but called over my shoulder, “It was nice to meet you, Zach.”
“Same here,” he yelled back.
Levi stayed behind to talk with his friends some more, and I faced Todd alone. “Hey, Todd, how are you?” I asked with a sweet smile.
He blushed and looked over my shoulder. “I’m good. So, you’re seeing the boss, huh?”
I smiled and shook my head. “We’re just friends.”
He cocked his brow. “No, it’s true,” I said firmly, but as soon as the words left my mouth I felt a large arm wrap around my waist. I didn’t even have to look to know who it was.
“Hey, Todd. Are you having a good time tonight?” Todd looked down at Levi’s arm around my waist and back up at my face. He nodded his head. Levi looked down at me and gave me a sly grin. “Baby, I’m starving. Let’s get to the food before it’s all gone.”
We said bye to Todd and made our way to the food tables. I elbowed Levi in the side and heard him grunt. “I told him we were just friends, and then you show up and call me baby.” I hissed out.
“Woman, you’ve got some sharp elbows,” he said, rubbing his side. He frowned and continued, “I heard what you told Todd.”
I felt bad for lashing out at him. “I’m sorry,” I rubbed a hand over his side before meeting his gaze. “Why did you do that?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t want to be just your friend, and I don’t want other guys asking you out. Believe me, when you talk to any single guy around here, that’s exactly what they want to do.”
I leaned into him. “I’m sorry, Levi. I know you want a relationship with me. Those guys can ask all they want, but I’m not going to go out with any of them. Todd just caught me off guard, and I won’t let that happen again.”
He squeezed me tighter. “Really?”
I smiled and whispered, “Really.” I knew why I didn’t want to go out with any other guy. I was already with the one I wanted. Right then, I knew that I was done fighting my feelings for Levi. I had my answer ready for the next person that asked about us.
We roasted our hot dogs on hangers over the fire. I glanced over at him, and he gave me his gorgeous smile. This man made me so happy. We took our charred hot dogs back to the food tables. We loaded up our plates, sat down and ate. When we finished, we made our way back to the blankets but were stopped by Jeff, one of the mowers.
“Hey, boss man. Hey, Katie,” he said.
“Hey, Jeff,” Levi answered. I just smiled and waved.
He looked at the two of us standing close together and asked, “So, you two an item?”
Before Levi could answer I said, “Yes. We are,” and took his hand in mine.
He squeezed my hand hard and said with a chuckle, “Yeah. We sure are.”
We continued on our way in silence. Levi picked up one of his blankets and spread it out on the sand. He gestured for me to sit, before sitting down beside me. He reached over and took my hand. “So, were you serious when you answered Jeff?”
I looked up into his beautiful blue eyes. “Yes. I want to be in a real relationship with you. I’m tired of fighting my feelings for you.”
He grinned. “Well, it’s about time. I was beginning to think I had lost my charm.” I started to laugh but the sound was cut off by his gentle kiss. “We’re right for each other,” he whispered as his lips left mine. Chills ran down my spine from his kiss and his words, making me shiver. “Are you cold?”
I slowly shook my head. He grinned, grabbed the other blanket and tucked it around me anyway. He scooted closer to me, wrapping his arm around my waist. I leaned my head on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth of the fire and him at my side. Neither of us spoke, we just watched the flames as they danced higher and higher, and listened to the pop and hiss of burning wood.
He broke the silence after a while. “Do you want to go to church with me tomorrow?”
I thought about it for a second before answering, “Sure. Take me to church tomorrow, Levi.”
He seemed more pleased with that answer than he did when I said I would date him. “I think God misses you, Katie.”
Tears came to my eyes, but I fought them back. “Maybe,” I replied in a whisper. He leaned over and kissed me on the temple but didn’t say anything else. Someone turned on some country music nearby and I listened as Reba sang “Fancy” and couldn’t help but laugh.
“What are laughing at?”
“This song, it’s really bad.”
He chuckled. “I take it you don’t like country music?”
I wrinkled my nose and replied, “Not really. The songs all seem to be mostly about drinking and heartbreak, so it’s kind of depressing.”
The next song that played was “Red Solo Cup”. Levi rolled his eyes and groaned. “I think you might be right.”
We listened as the people around us belted out the words about a plastic cup and laughed. The first bars of the next song began and my laughter died. I recognized the familiar song instantly, and suddenly I was back in high school listening to Seth sing along to it. I didn’t even realize I was crying until Levi wiped the tears away with his thumb.
“Why are you crying, Katie?”
“I hate this song. It brings back bad memories. My ex played it nonstop during football season.” I wiped my face and leaned my head into Levi’s chest. He covered my ear and pressed me tighter to him, muffling the sound of the song.
He removed his hand after a little bit and whispered, “It’s over now.” My heart melted at the compassion he’d shown. I looked up into his now sad eyes and knew I wasn’t right for him. He deserved someone better than me. I was lying to him about my family, my past, my whole life. He smiled, leaned down and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. I tried to smile back but couldn’t. I would do nothing but hurt him in the end, and I knew the end would eventually come.
“It’s late. I’ll take you home,” he said gently.
I stood and helped him get our things together. We were both quiet on the ride to my apartment. He switched off the truck and turned to me. “Don’t do this, Katie. Don’t push me away. I know that’s what you’re trying to do,” he said, his voice filled with pain.
I looked at his handsome face. “You don’t need to be with me, Levi. I’m so messed up. It seems all I do is cry around you. You deserve someone you don’t have to comfort all the time.”
“Stop it right now. I want you. I want to comfort you and take away your pain. I don’t think you know how much you mean to me. I feel more for you than I’ve ever felt for anyone, even Denise,” he said as he leaned over and cupped my face in his hands. He rubbed his thumb over my cheek. “Let me help take away all those bad memories,” he whispered.
He leaned down and kissed me p
assionately. As he kissed me, the only thought I had was of him. He pulled away and smiled. “We’re going to replace them with happy memories of us together, okay?”
I knew right then if anyone could get rid of my bad memories, it was him. “Okay,” I whispered.
He walked me to the door but didn’t come inside. “I’ll pick you up about ten thirty for church.”
I smiled. “I’ll be ready,” I knew I meant more than just being dressed. I was ready to start my new life and make some great memories with Levi.
Chapter Eighteen
I woke up early to get myself mentally and emotionally prepared for church. I hadn’t been in such a long time. I didn’t know if I was ready to face it just yet, but I’d already told Levi I would go, so there was no backing out now. I looked around for my Bible, and remembered I’d left it at my parents’ house. I growled, angry that I’d been so thoughtless.
I had always felt close to God before I made that one horrible mistake with Seth, but after that and the many lies I’d been forced to live, I felt like I couldn’t reach out to Him anymore. There was nothing left in me to offer God. I was broken spiritually, mentally and physically.
I showered and dressed in one of my nicest outfits. I put on makeup, keeping it light and pulled my hair into a knot at my base of my neck. I stepped back and looked at my reflection. I practiced my smile, but it still seemed forced to me. Surely I could blend in for one service. I hoped it wasn’t too obvious to everyone that I didn’t belong in a house of worship.
The knock on the door startled me. I took a deep cleansing breath, plastered a smile on my face, and opened it. Levi looked at my face and chuckled. “You look like you’re about to throw up.”
I closed my eyes to fight back the tears. “Is it that obvious?”
He pulled me into his arms. “Nah, I can just read your face. Maybe tone it down a little.”
I groaned against his chest. I felt his deep laugh vibrate through him and it calmed me. “I’m sorry. It’s just been a while since I went to church, and I’m nervous.”
I pulled back and gave him a sincere smile. “There’s that real smile,” he said and stroked my cheek with his knuckles. “Are you ready?”
I shook my head for no but said, “Yes.”
He smiled and nudged me towards the counter. “Get your purse, Katie. You’ll be fine.” I went back in and grabbed my purse and finally noticed Levi’s clothes. He had on khaki pants and a striped navy button down shirt. He had the sleeves rolled up to just below his elbows.
I checked him out and grinned. “Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in anything other than jeans. This is a good look for you.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Nobody will even notice me while I’m standing next to you. You look beautiful and while I love your hair anyway you wear it, the way you have it now makes you look so much older.”
“Oh, you mean like almost your age?” I asked sweetly.
He shook his head and chucked me under the chin. “Hush it, woman,” he said. I giggled and linked my arm through his as we walked to the truck.
As we pulled up to the small white church, I noticed that all my anxiety had disappeared. Levi had a way of calming me. Even just being near him had a positive effect on me. We entered through the open front doors and were greeted by an elderly gentleman. I shook his offered wrinkly hand while Levi introduced us. He gave me a warm smile that made me feel welcome.
Levi led me to a pew a few rows from the back. Thank goodness he doesn’t sit up front. We sat down, and I took a minute to look around. The sanctuary was filling up, and I was surprised to see so many people in such a small church. There was a good mix of age groups, from elderly to small children. Sunlight streamed in through several of the stained glass windows, and soft music played through the speakers.
Levi caught my eye and smiled. “You good?”
“I’m good. No more anxiety.”
He reached over and took my hand in his as several people came over to introduce themselves. I was a little overwhelmed at the eagerness they showed at meeting me.
Levi leaned over and whispered in my ear, “They get a little excited when someone new comes, but you’re doing great.” I smiled when I noticed how happy he looked.
The service started, and we stood to sing. Nobody reached for the hymnals, which was what I was used to. Instead, they had a small praise band, and the songs were shown on a large screen behind them. It was contemporary Christian songs. I recognized the first one as “Amazing Grace” from Chris Tomlin. I’d heard it on the radio station Levi listened to. I began to softly sing the words, and they stirred something in my soul. I glanced over at Levi. He had his eyes closed and his hand held up. I felt tears sting my eyes as I watched this big strong man surrendering himself, unashamed, before the Lord. I wanted what he had but couldn’t let go of all my shame. I didn’t know how. We sang two more songs, and I felt at peace in this church with Levi at my side.
We sat back down as the pastor came on stage to welcome everyone. Levi leaned down and whispered, “His name is Greg Lewis. He’s young, but he’s a great pastor. I’d like to introduce you to him after church, if that’s okay?”
I turned my head and whispered back, “I would like that.”
Pastor Greg told the congregation what was coming up in the week ahead before taking his seat on the first pew.
Levi patted my knee. “I’ll be back,” he said and stood up.
I thought maybe he had to go to the bathroom, but instead he walked down the aisle and up the stairs to the stage. He picked up a guitar that one of the guys from the praise band had leaned against the wall. He pulled a stool up to a microphone in the middle of the stage and sat down. He put the guitar on his lap and began to strum. I stared at him in shock. In all this time he never told me he could play. Our eyes met and he winked. I managed to pull myself together and smile at him.
He opened his mouth and began to sing a Jeremy Camp song that I recognized. It was “Healing Hand of God” and I was amazed by Levi’s voice. It had a deep, raspy sound to it. I watched in awe as his fingers moved rhythmically across the guitar strings, and I listened to the words being sung in his beautiful voice. They were about letting God mend your broken heart and resting in Him. I closed my eyes and didn’t even try to stop the tears that fell. They weren’t tears of sadness or pain-they were cleansing tears. I smiled and let them fall as Levi’s voice filled the sanctuary. I opened my eyes and wiped the wetness from my cheeks, never more thankful for waterproof mascara.
I watched Levi’s face, his joy was evident as he sang to God. I said a silent prayer asking God to bless him beyond measure. He loved and lived for Him and never tried to hide it.
When he finished the song, the congregation clapped loudly. I even heard a few whistles. I giggled softly when he got close enough for me to see the redness of his cheeks. He chuckled as he sat down beside me, and I tried to tone down the wattage of my smile. He bumped me with his shoulder, and I knew this was his way of saying “no big deal”. I wanted to say so many things to him, but the sermon began. I mouthed the word “later”, and he nodded in agreement.
A Bible passage from Colossians was displayed on the screen, and Levi opened his Bible to it. I was embarrassed that I didn’t have mine. As we stood to listen to God’s Word being read aloud, he held his Bible out in front of both of us. This simple gesture stirred something in my heart. We sat back down, and I looked closer at his Bible. The pages looked worn from use, and he had written notes in the margins. He had also underlined some of the verses. I glanced back up, noticed that he was watching me, and blushed. I felt like maybe I’d invaded his privacy by reading some of the personal things he’d written, but he just smiled, took my hand in his and squeezed it.
I listened to the sermon and agreed with what Levi had said about Pastor Greg being a great pastor. He spoke in a voice filled with conviction for what he was preaching. He focused on the word compassion and told of the numerous times it was m
entioned in the Bible. He said that God had a strong compassion for man, even though we didn’t deserve it. He said we should show compassion to others in the same way. I immediately thought of how Levi treated people.
When church was over, he took me up front to meet Pastor Greg. I shook his outstretched hand and introduced myself. He smiled. “Hello, Katie. Levi has mentioned you several times. I’m glad to finally meet you. How did you like our church?”
“It’s great. I’m glad he invited me.”
We chatted but left quickly so he could speak to the other people who were waiting for a few minutes of his time. We were stopped several times before we made it to the truck by people who wanted to introduce themselves or brag on Levi. He responded humbly, as usual, which made me love him even more.
A young blond woman rushed up to him and laid her hand on his forearm. “Levi, that was great. I just love to hear you sing.”
She didn’t acknowledge me. Levi subtly pulled his arm from her grasp. “Thank you, Angie. This is my girlfriend, Katie,” he said as he gestured to me.
She looked me up and down, gave me an obvious fake smile and said, “Hi, Kate.”
I know she didn’t just do that. I gave her the nicest smile I could muster up and said, “It’s Katie, and it’s nice to meet you.”
She ignored me and tried to speak to Levi again but he cut her off. “We have to go. It was nice to see you again, Angie.”
“Okay, but I’m still waiting on that tour of the nursery. Call me. I’m available next week.”
I cut my eyes to Levi, he looked very irritated. She walked away, tossing her hair over her shoulder. I turned to him and asked, a little shocked, “What just happened? Did she actually ask you out with me standing right here?”
Katie's Glimpse (The Glimpse Series) Page 15