by Delilah Hunt
“Liquor?”
“Nothing more, nothing less. Good ol’ American booze,” he said, holding his hands out wide.
Chase scowled. “You want to smuggle booze into Singapore. Let me guess–to dealers who’ll jack up the price for chinks who wanna get drunk?”
Trevor straightened his shoulders and snapped his fingers together. “Bout sums it up. You catch on quickly, boy. If that no-good mother of yours had stuck around, can’t say she wouldn’t have been proud of you.”
Chase snorted. He knew for a fact Louise wouldn’t have felt pride or anything for him. He wondered if Trevor even believed the crap that came out of his mouth. Luckily, Chase knew him well enough to see his smooth talk for what it was. Buttering up. Something his stepfather never had to do when Chase was a kid and had to follow instructions or feel the belt.
“Trevor,” Chase began, “you know I’m dedicated to everything my grandfather started. To everything we have and want to happen. But that doesn’t mean I want us to live with the Feds being more suspicious than they already are. I’m just saying, don’t make this a habit. I know you’re in charge and everything. I’m good with that. I respect everything you’ve done. But you gotta remember that everyone’s got a limit at some point.”
Trevor nodded while puffing away on his cigarette. “Gotcha. No hard feelings. I know you busted your ass working in Deek’s hunting store, taking all them crazy hours to save up enough money so Joe could see you were serious about buying that old ship with him.
Chase rose from his chair, pinning Trevor with a measured stare. “Then you know exactly what I mean when I say this is the last time.”
Trevor held up his hands. “As long as you get your ass down to Jacksonville, we’re good. I’ll give you the info later. You can take Jesse McNair with you. He can transport the liquor.”
Soon after leaving Trevor’s place, Chase forced himself to push his stepfather and his shady dealings from his mind. It wasn’t until an hour later as he climbed into bed that he remembered his plan to stop by Haley’s house and see what she had to offer. Chase groaned inside his head, knowing that idea wouldn’t have made one lick of a difference. He wouldn’t have gone through with seeing Haley because all he could focus on was Larke. Her dark eyes wide with fear and confusion, staring at the words and symbols on his arms.
He turned over in bed, angry that he was still thinking about her. Larke’s opinion meant nothing to him. She was nothing. He didn’t give one fuck what she thought about him. In fact, tomorrow he was going to pay Haley a visit and ride her so damn hard until a certain part of his body remembered exactly where its loyalty rested.
3
Putting pen to paper, or rather finding the right words to tap on the keyboard was difficult today. It hadn’t been before. Not this hard. Sadly, Larke knew the reason why. Ever since last week, her mind refused to stay in one place. Almost every time she closed her eyes, she’d find herself back inside the woodlands in Lee’s Fortress. She wound her arms around her middle. The very name of the town made her shudder.
Sick.
Just like Chase’s treatment of her the other night. Over the years, she’d made up numerous scenarios of seeing him again. But not once had any of them played out like it did outside the bowling alley. The cold reality of what and who a grown-up Chase had become kept her awake some nights.
Larke closed her laptop. She would get no writing done today. Not for the first time this year, she wished her mother was still alive. Maggie Taylor had been a trusted friend, the only person Larke would’ve been able to confide her true feelings to. To let her know how much it bothered her even now, thinking about Chase, knowing he would sooner hurt her than be her friend. Not that she needed him as a friend. Simply, what if…
People have to choose their own destiny, Larke. You can’t force someone to believe the same things you do. All you can do is hear them out and if you’re determined to change their mind you have to understand it won’t happen by force or arguing. Maggie had flashed her a smile and ruffled her hair. You’ll learn more when you get older, baby.
Those gems of wisdom from her mother were said so many years ago when Larke had broken down one day, months after the incident and confessed all the awful things Chase had told her about the people he lived with. That he too seemed to believe the same horrible things about people like her and her mother.
All the logic in the world couldn’t erase the sting. Chase had chosen his destiny. In spite of what he’d been taught, he was a grown man and at some point, there should’ve been an eye opener that racism was wrong. Evil. No one could remain a white supremacist unless they chose to be. And he’d chosen that path.
Letting out a loud breath, Larke shook her head. Pondering a man like Chase did not go hand in hand with writing innocent children’s stories. She crossed her arms behind her head and stretched out across the blanket she’d laid on the grass. The sun shone bright and the July temperature was more akin to mid-day than early morning. The park was quiet, despite the numerous people walking their dogs, or going for a morning jog. In another hour or two, the area would get livelier and it would be much harder for her to concentrate.
She closed her eyes, determined to bring the scenery inside her head onto the blank page awaiting her words. Little rabbit flitting across a field. Lots of sunshine and…a shadow. A shadow was over the rabbit? Larke’s eyes flew open. She blinked. This was reality. There was no rabbit. But there definitely was something blocking her sunlight. Correction. Someone.
Larke bolted upright, her mouth went dry as dust at the sight of Chase standing at the foot of her blanket, dressed in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt.
The frantic beating of her heart and the remnants of fear caused Larke to do a quick survey of the grassy area, checking to make sure there were still people milling about. Relieved that there were others to witness their interaction, she drew in a deep breath and willed her nerves to calm.
“Good morning,” she said, hoping her casual tone would mask the sliver of dread that refused to leave.
He nodded, offering no greeting in return. Surprisingly, he lowered himself, sitting at the edge of her blanket as if she’d issued an invitation. He rounded his gaze on her. “You still afraid of me?”
“I…”
“You are,” he interrupted flatly. “You shouldn’t be. I’m not gonna hurt you. I wasn’t planning to in the parking lot either. So I don’t know why you’re acting all scared. I didn’t even put my hands on you.”
Larke wanted to scream, ask him if he’d conveniently forgotten having chased her with his hunting knife. That she knew what he was capable of. She drew herself up, gaping at him. “Chase, this isn’t an act. I watch the news. I have the internet. I’m not naïve. There are too many things about you that tell me I should be afraid. Not only me. People who look like me––those you don’t like. Did you know my mother and I were advised by the police lady who brought me home, that it was best not to let anyone know where I’d been? That we were together.” She stared at him, her eyes peering into his. “She was a police officer and I could hear the concern and worry in her voice. That’s something that stayed with me ever since.”
“Did she tell you why?”
“No. Just that it was for the best. I figured it out by myself some time later. Reading up stuff.” She let out a sigh. “And now you’ve become one of the people I should’ve feared finding me that night. Life is funny, right?”
“Life is surviving.” He pushed to his feet. “That’s all. Ain’t nothing funny about it.”
“Is that what you’re doing? What you’ve been doing? Was it survival mode that made you embrace hate?”
Maybe she shouldn’t have been so bold, Larke decided seconds later as he stared at her, his entire body taut, bearing down on her. She flinched, watching his eyes grow cold, frostier than his voice when he bit out. “You need to back the fuck up and remember who you’re talking to. Yeah, it’s nice and cozy for you to sit on your go
ddamn picnic blanket, acting like some know it all bitch. Judging me and my––”
“I’m not listening,” Larke interrupted, standing quickly. “We’re done here.” She grabbed her bag and laptop, brushing past him.
His hand shot out, jerking her by the elbow. “We’re done when I say we’re done.”
“Yet I shouldn’t be afraid of you,” she said, her gaze flashing from his hand on her arm to his face.
Chase dropped his hand to his side. “All right,” he muttered. The anger evaporated from his tone. “Listen, just relax. I didn’t come out here to argue or start anything with you.”
Didn’t come. Meaning he’d purposely sought her out. As if this could have been a coincidence anyway. Emboldened by the obvious regret on his face, Larke studied him in utter confusion.
“How did you know I’d be here?”
He tilted his head to the side, avoiding her eyes.
So now he’s afraid to talk. Larke sighed. “Come on Chase. I need an answer. What is this? It’s all so weird. At least for me, it is. I’m guessing it has to be for you too. I just want to know the real reason you waited around for me last week and why you’re here now?”
He shoved a hand through his low-cut hair and let out a ragged breath, filled with frustration. So deep, it overshadowed her own.
“I don’t know. I swear to God, I don’t know. I mean when I first saw you, I didn’t recognize you at first. It was basically you, this girl standing there, that I couldn’t take my eyes off.” He squeezed his eyes as if it pained him to tell her these things. “I didn’t want to look at you, okay. You understand that. The things I was thinking, none of that should’ve been inside my head. When I realized who you were––heard your name and connected the dots. I don’t know… I just knew I wasn’t gonna leave until I talked to you. Had no idea what the hell I was gonna say, but I couldn’t let you leave like that, even if I was wondering if you belonged to that guy.”
“First I don’t belong to anyone and never will. Second…” Second, she didn’t really know. There were too many questions. Most important, was Chase trying to say he was attracted to her? Needed her help, somehow? Larke drew in a deep breath, choosing to use her words carefully.
“Second, did you follow me here?”
“I did.”
Okay. Larke pursed her lips, surprised she wasn’t freaking out. “Do you also know where I live?”
He said nothing, giving a single nod as confirmation. His gaze held hers. Gauging her reaction.
They stood in silence. Perhaps he was studying her, the same way she did him. Drawing his own conclusions, similar to the ones forming inside her mind right now. Whatever Chase was, she didn’t believe him to be a liar. And chances were, he truly meant no harm. If he had, wouldn’t he have taken his chance when they were alone?
Before she could change her mind, Larke turned to him and said, “Let’s go somewhere else.” People were beginning to stare. She reached for the blanket but Chase beat her to it. “I got it,” he said, picking up the cloth and folding it.
“So, is this your workplace? Where you come to write?”
“Kind of.” She fell into step beside him. “I use to come here while waiting for my shift at O’Malley General Hospital to start. I’d get some pretty good writing in, enough that I was able to write a book that wasn’t bad.” She pinned him with a sardonic smile, recalling his annoyance when she’d asked to tell him a story. “And apparently other people seemed to like it because now I get paid to write.”
Chase shrugged, although she caught the faintest hint of a smile on his firm lips. “What do you do at the hospital?”
“Used to,” she said, rounding a corner with him beside her. “I got my two-year RN degree after high school and worked at the hospital like my mother did. I started working part-time at the end of last year and was able to quit a couple of months ago. If I budget right, I can do fine with the royalties I get from my books.”
Wow. She had given Chase a mouthful. Larke immediately regretted telling him so much about herself. Had to be because of how little she went out with the opposite sex. Something she would definitely remedy if it prevented her from running her mouth to a white supremacist. One, who also assumed he was entitled to her respect for the simple fact of being who he was.
“I guess your mom must be real proud, huh?”
Her heart felt heavy. “She was,” Larke told him, unable to keep out the sadness. “She died over a year ago.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Thanks,” she said, glancing over at him carrying the picnic blanket. “My mom was ill for a while.” Larke lifted a shoulder. “Life has to go on, right?”
He nodded. “That’s true. My grandfather died a year ago too. But like you said–have to keep it moving.”
She said nothing to that, only cringing inwardly at exactly what she assumed he had to keep moving. Once they arrived near a large pond, away from the walking trail, Larke stopped and place her laptop bag on a bench. Although the area was empty save for her and Chase, it didn’t bother her. Her skin no longer prickled with fear at the thought of being alone with him. In the place of her unease from earlier, was uncertain curiosity.
“Aren’t you concerned someone you know might see us out here at some point?” she asked, sitting beside him on the bench.
He shook his head. “No. As for the people I know, most of them wouldn’t come around these parts. Too many…” His voice trailed. He averted his gaze as if he’d caught himself before saying something he knew would start an argument. “It’s too diverse for the people I know. Not everyone can handle going out in a world that isn’t the way we’d like it to be.”
Larke stiffened. “How exactly would you like it to be?”
He refused to answer. Issuing her a pointed stare, he grated, “I didn’t drive all the way out here to talk race with you, Larke.”
Okay. Now they were getting somewhere. “Then why did you come? Please tell me. Why did you drive all the way out here from your Aryan homeland to see me, when all we have in common is that we were two kids stuck in a bad situation together? We’re nothing to each other. We weren’t even friends.” Although I gave you my necklace to keep and remember me by.
“I wanted to see you.”
Those were his only words. Larke waited for him to elaborate, say something else. Nothing. His blue eyes pleaded with her to understand. His gaze, so intense, stroked her face, leaving no misunderstanding. Chase wanted her, despite everything he believed in. She wrapped her arms around her middle. Her entire body shivered with emotions that excited and terrified her.
Complete madness.
Trapped beneath his stare, Larke forced herself to look away. Not for the first time since meeting Chase, she felt the urge to run. To get as far away from him as she could, without a glance backward. But what good would it do? The last time she ran from him, she’d found herself in a different sort of danger. Now, as a grown woman, in spite of everything Chase stood for, there was a faint stirring of butterflies awakening inside her stomach whenever their gazes met. Larke groaned silently. Lord help her, she wasn’t even sure she wanted to run.
“How can you want to see me when we both know this isn’t right?” She tapped a finger to her chest. “I’m not supposed to be right. Not enough for you to have an interest in; apart from wishing me gone.” Larke narrowed her eyes and shook her head. She might not want to run from him, but she could still put an end to this insanity. “Whatever this is, I can’t. I honestly can’t.”
Her emotions ran the gamut. Guilt, frustration, anger at herself for actually contemplating allowing Chase into her life, made Larke dizzy with confusion. His jaws hardened as she took the blanket from him. “You understand and agree with me, don’t you?” Please say you do and make this easy.
Instead of answering, he reached into his back pocket, withdrawing something that at first appeared white and shiny. Larke sucked in a breath as he held out his hand, allowing the pearl necklace to dangl
e below his finger.
“You kept it?” She opened her mouth, flabbergasted that the plastic pearls were as she’d remembered them. She’d assumed he’d thrown away her friendship gift.
“I planned on throwing it away after you gave it to me,” he said, “could never bring myself to go through with it, though. I kept it in a box at the back of my closet. I actually forgot about it for a couple of years until I saw you again.”
“Did you clean it,” she asked jokingly, trying to wrap her mind around this. “It looks a lot better than when I had it.”
His lips twitched into another half-smile. “I wiped it off last night. Didn’t think you’d be too impressed if I showed up with your necklace looking grungy.”
The smile fell from her lips. “You’ve known for a while that I come here in the mornings, haven’t you?” she asked gently without suspicion. “Were you watching me all the time, at my apartment too?”
“No.” A faint tinge of red stained the top of his cheeks. He backtracked. “I mean, okay. I did go back to your apartment building one morning. That’s when I followed you here. I never went back to your place. That I swear. I ain’t no stalker. I was only trying to figure out the best way to talk to you. That’s all. Like I said––it was never about trying to hurt you or anything.”
“Then why’d you wait this long to talk to me again?”
He shrugged a lean shoulder. “Because I’m stubborn. I didn’t wanna admit that the reason I haven’t been able to touch another female is because a black girl who’s afraid of me, got my mind all messed up and had me thinking about her all day long.”
Larke’s mind ceased functioning. She almost wished she could un-hear everything he’d just said. If she could, then she wouldn’t have to deal with her heart thumping wildly inside her chest or those ridiculous butterflies in her stomach fully awake and fluttering about like…complete madness. Her lower belly wouldn’t cinch with excitement at the idea of Chase constantly thinking about her.
Had he done so at nights too? The brazen question popped into her head before she could reel it in. But reel it in she would. Because as much as her body tingled and felt on the cusp of something…life altering, she still wished she hadn’t heard his words. They hurt. She was someone he hadn’t asked for or really wanted. His attraction to her was something he was being forced to endure. Feelings she had unintentionally provoked in him. Her. The black girl.