by Tara Pammi
“You insist this is a partnership and yet, when it comes to your personal matters, you push me away. You don’t share what’s going on with you, you...you keep those boundaries around you so very tight, Leo.” Her heart ached at how alone he always seemed, at how much burden he carried on his shoulders. “What is the point of getting married if you won’t even share what’s on your mind? If you’re determined to keep me in the same box after all these years. Talk to me. Please. Share your burden, if nothing else.”
“I’m not used to it.”
She smiled into his back. “I’m not used to a giant of a man ordering me about in my own flat. But then I remind myself of what the giant can do with his crafty fingers and how he holds me when my mum’s breaking my heart and how he finds ways to let me know I’m not alone anymore and I go...okay, I can compromise.
“I can let go of stupid, girlie dreams and reach for what’s real. I can have an imperfect but real future instead of fluffy, romantic fantasies.
“I want you to be my husband. I want to make a promise to you that I’m committed to the life we build together. Watching my parents together all those years ago, marriage is the most honorable thing for me. If I make that promise to you, if I agree to be your wife, I take everything that comes with it very seriously.
“We’ve been good friends, lovers, we trust each other, but being a husband and wife...there’s something about that holy bond that changes everything. I want to be the best wife I can be, Leo,” she said, trying to articulate some of her fears into words. “But I can’t if you shut me out at every turn.”
He turned around, pressed a kiss to her temple. It lasted only seconds, but when their gazes met, she saw that her words had registered. That she’d surprised him with both her vulnerability and her opinions about marriage. “For me, marriage is a logical step. A way to make sure history is not repeated with our child.”
She nodded. To hide the sudden shaft of pain that pierced her heart. “It is, for us. But it also means a lot more to me.”
His frown slowly morphed into a smile and he clasped her cheek. “Of course. I should’ve known you won’t enter into anything without planning to give it your everything.” And then a hand through his hair, his only tell, before he leaned back against the wall, putting distance between them again. “What do you want to know?”
Neha lowered her arms, glad that he was at least talking.
“You never even told me what Mario said about that man and what he’s up to.”
“Just a lot of threats about what this Vincenzo means to do to our family.”
“Any light on why he’s targeting you?”
Leo shrugged. “Vague hints at how all roads eventually lead to my father.”
“To Silvio? This is all connected to your father?”
“Sì. All these attacks seem personally motivated. Other than maybe a spurned girlfriend in Massimo’s case, we haven’t harmed anyone, on a personal or a professional front. That was a conclusion Massimo and I drew weeks ago.”
She knew she was venturing into dangerous territory but she had to try. “Then why can’t you simply talk to Silvio? Tell him about this Vincenzo’s mad campaign against all of you. He can shed light on the whole matter. And you can clear it up with some sort of...reparation to this man, can’t you?”
“You think a man who has continually launched attacks on BFI, BCS and on personal fronts on me, Massimo, Greta, even Alex, will accept reparation and move on?
“Not knowing what Vincenzo wants, waiting for him to make his next move while being unable to do anything...it’s the most powerless I’ve ever felt.
“As for Silvio, my father is not one who will willingly come clean about every crime he’s perpetrated in his life. The only communication he and I have is the deal we made years ago. He gives me proxy power over his shares, and I let him out of that clinic once a year and let him keep his friends. We’ve shared nothing more in a long time, bella.”
“Leo, that’s not...healthy. I know what an awful man he’s been his entire life, but have you never wanted to ask him about your mother? Never wanted to find out why?”
“And play into the old man’s manipulative games again? Do you think he’d tell me the truth, or some twisted version he could use against me? Men like my father only understand power. Do you think it makes a difference to me now? She left me with him, cara. I made my peace with it a long time ago.”
“Have you, though?”
Blue fire glittered in his eyes. “Sì. And you get nothing by excavating a topic better left in the past. You know me better than anyone, Neha. Please don’t assume I need a heart-to-heart about all this to get in touch with myself better. I want to solve this Vincenzo thing once and for all and look to the future. Not get mired in the past.”
But was anything ever untouched by the past? Could anything new ever grow when everything that was hard, and painful, had been buried underneath? When emotions were stifled because they would bring pain?
Because that’s what Leo was doing. Without pain and ache and fear, could there be joy and contentment and peace? Without the risk of vulnerability, could there ever be love?
There wouldn’t be. Because Leo had closed himself off to all of it a long time ago.
And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to voice those fears. She couldn’t push when he wanted to leave it where it belonged. When he was determined to not let it mar the future.
His, and now hers. Their future child’s.
“This trip to Bali...is it to find Vincenzo?”
“Sì. Massimo and Nat found financial details for an offshore company that originates there from the transaction to Mario.”
“What if you can’t catch him there, Leo? You can’t go chasing this man around the world, can you?”
“But he’s not all I’m chasing. Last I heard from her agent, Alessandra has been in Bali this whole time.”
A soft gasp escaped Neha’s mouth as she thought of the genuinely lovely Alessandra within this... Vincenzo’s reach. “You don’t think it’s a coincidence?”
Worry etched into Leo’s brow. “No. Neither does Massimo. Since the last organized dark net attack on BCS, we’ve been waiting for his next move. It’s been months and he’s been quiet and then we learn that she’s been in Bali this whole time... Greta is going mad with worry.
“I have to find Alessandra and make sure she...stays clear of him.” If it wasn’t already too late... Neha heard his unspoken fear.
And now, after knowing how many things he handled, she couldn’t blame him for being short with her. “I’m sorry I added to your worries.”
“That’s the deal we made, bella. But this is an obligation I chose for myself, Neha. Not had thrust upon me. Can you remember that?” He reached her, his fingers sinking into her hair at the nape of her neck. She nodded, her heart jerking in place at the distinction he’d made. “I don’t like having to leave right now when Mario’s furious with me. He’ll manipulate you and use your mum to do it.”
“I’m through with her,” she said, swallowing the ache in her throat. “She’s going to miss our wedding. She’s lost her chance to be a part of her grandchild’s life. She...” A sob rose through her, but she killed it. She’d shed enough tears over her mum. “There’s nothing he can hold over me. I promise you. Go, do this thing and be back soon.”
“Bene.”
Neha rubbed her face against his chest, loving the solid musculature of him against her cheek. Knowing that it was useless to deny herself and him. She wanted this future with him. She wanted whatever little he had to offer.
She swallowed away the lingering doubts and pressed her mouth to his. “I want that future with you, Leo. For the first time in so many years, I feel like I’m alive. I wake up with joy and expectations and...yes, I’ll marry you.”
His kiss said everything she knew he wouldn’t say
. It was warm and desperate and full of a longing that was more than just physical between them now. The velvet box glimmered in the soft morning light. Her breath lodged in her chest as he tugged her left hand up, and placed a warm, lingering kiss at the center of her palm.
His breath was a symphony against her skin as he took her mouth in a devouring kiss. The platinum set, princess-cut diamond winked at her in the weak morning light, and turned her into an inarticulate jumble of emotions.
“You play dirty,” she finally said. This was for convenience, she chanted to herself as if it were a mantra, using it to corral her runaway imagination.
“That’s a serious accusation.”
She laughed at the seriousness of his tone. “You misunderstand. I’m not talking about that diamond. I’m talking about seducing me all night and then springing the ring on me when I have no defenses or rationality left. I’ll agree to anything.”
Her fingers trembled as he slid the ring on, and it fit perfectly. She kissed him this time, needing the intimate connection that came when they communicated with their bodies. Like every single time, the simple contact flared into something more, so much more, until they were both breathing hard.
When he looked at her like that, Neha could almost trick herself into believing he genuinely cared about her.
No, he did care about her.
“This feels right, bella. Everything I do with you feels easy...uncomplicated, in a way I’ve never expected.
“For the first time in my life, I’m building something for myself. Something tangible and real for the future. You, this child and what we build together...it’s mine, all mine. Only mine. Untouched by my family’s dirty legacy, untouched by the ugly past. A fresh start. There’s a powerful quality to new beginnings, it seems, that even I can’t resist.”
Neha stood leaning against the bed for a long time after Leo left, his words ringing around in her head. On paper, she and Leo could have the perfect marriage. No lofty expectations of each other. No messy emotions. No high highs and low lows.
But life, she knew, was never that simple or easy to be ruled by logic and boundaries.
Even with all her rationale in place, she would always be vulnerable when it came to Leonardo. Already, she was far too invested in his every word, look and gesture. In what he said and everything he didn’t say. And for all the distinctions he made, she was another obligation to a man who had spent most of his adult life shouldering numerous ones.
And yet, Neha knew it was too late to walk away from him. Knew her vulnerability to Leo meant her heart was already in danger.
Just as Leo had predicted, Mario walked into her office on Tuesday afternoon, his mouth curled into a sneer. Neha sighed, thankful that he hadn’t brought her mum along at the least.
From the moment the news of her engagement to Leo had gone viral, she’d been on tenterhooks, her heart jumping into her throat every time her phone rang, hoping it was her mum. Hoping she’d at least begin to see that Mario hadn’t been right about everything.
The glass door to her office barely closed behind her when Mario erupted. “Have you no loyalty? No shame? Are you that desperate for him, for his attention, that you’d let him manipulate you?
“Have you no shame in selling out your own family?”
Neha let him spew his poison, let him vent it all out, before she said, “Are you through?”
“No. You’ll wish you hadn’t taken me on when you see what I can do. You think you have it all neatly tied up, don’t you? Your retirement, your IP from the company, your engagement to Leonardo...you’ve no idea how fast he’ll dump you when I bring my full might onto his precious company and—”
“Enough, Mario! I’ve heard enough. For years, I shut my mouth because I was afraid you’d twist Mum against me.
“So many years, so many wasted opportunities...and you know what?
“The worst is done. Despite my every effort, you’ve created a rift between us. No, she let you create a rift between us. She gave you that power and I’m done.
“Tell her that, won’t you?” she said, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Tell her I’m done being the sensible one, the adult, the strong one. Tell her that I’m done putting up with her bully of a husband just for her sake.” She swiped at the tears on her cheeks and took a calming breath. Still, her voice reverberated with conviction and strength. Strength Leo had given her.
“And you’ve lost any leverage you had over me. By threatening Leo, by threatening me, you’ve lost any chance I might have given you because you’re her husband.
“I’m through with you and I’m going to take every penny that’s mine from you.”
For the first time in her life, Neha saw shock descend into her stepfather’s eyes.
She walked around her table and opened the door. “Get out of my office. And if you threaten me like that ever again, if you come near me, I’ll let Leo do what he really wants to do to you,” she added for good measure.
In the ensuing silence, Neha slumped onto her chair, a sense of relief and freedom engulfing her. She lifted her cell phone with shaking fingers, her vision blurred.
“Neha?” Leo’s voice came through clear and concerned.
“I told him off, Leo,” Neha whispered, tears clogging her throat.
“Of course you did,” Leo said with such conviction in his tone that Neha thought she might have lost a little of her heart to him on that phone call. “You must have been spectacular.”
She laughed through the tears. “I was. Truly. But he’s not going to go away calmly. On second thought, I don’t know if I should’ve enraged him like that.”
“You had every right, bella. And don’t worry. I’ll deal with whatever he brings, sì?”
“Sì.”
“Will be you okay?” he said with a smile in his voice.
“Yes. But come back soon to me, won’t you?” she said, letting the longing she’d always felt for him pour into words.
“Sì, bella. Soon.”
Neha sat in her chair for a long time, the phone pressed to her chest. She looked around her office but there was nothing she was attached to here.
One chapter of her life was done. And one would begin soon. And she couldn’t wait to start it with Leo at her side.
Standing in her underwear in front of her bathroom vanity, Neha checked the small plastic stick resting on the dark marble surface again and again.
Pregnant.
The world seemed blurry and distorted to her tear-soaked vision. She hastily scrubbed her eyes, afraid the word might change to something else.
It didn’t.
It was her sixth pregnancy test and none of them had changed the verdict on her. And slowly, the truth sank in, filling every cell and pore in her.
God, she was pregnant.
With Leo’s baby.
With Leo’s baby...
Pregnant by the man she’d wanted for so long that every time he looked at her with that dark, knowing gaze now, she had to remind herself that it was real and not just a fantasy out of her head.
They were going to be a family, support each other, shower their child with love. After being mired in loneliness for so long, the dream of being a part of something would finally come true.
A shiver swept through her as she imagined the future, an intense rush of emotions and thoughts stealing her breath. Fingers holding on to the marble, she ducked her head, focusing on taking deep, long breaths. As she pushed her hair away from her sweaty forehead, her gaze caught on the diamond glittering on her finger.
It had been a week since the night since she’d agreed to marry Leo, caught up in the warmth of his sexy body and his clever caresses. And ever since that day, she’d been waiting to wake up to some kind of reality check. For some rational voice inside of her to say this was madness.
Instead, the weight
of the ring on her finger had become familiar already, an anchor to ground her, a comforting, caring voice in her head when the madness of her unraveling life threatened to overwhelm her.
Like the explosion of media and fan interest after her and Leo’s PR team made an official announcement. But in the effusive rush of well-wishes from her fans, Neha hadn’t let herself forget that the rushed announcement was more for optics.
He was committed to a future with her and their child, but it didn’t mean he wouldn’t use it to put pressure on Mario. To show Mario that Leo was in Neha’s life and he intended to stay. To push Mario to the edge where he might cough out any information he had on Vincenzo Cavalli.
A stark reminder that Leo was still unswerving and strategic when it came to achieving his own ends, that he didn’t forget for one minute that this was a convenient arrangement on so many levels.
She ran her palm over her bare belly repeatedly even though it was too soon to tell. She couldn’t wait to share the news with Leo. Couldn’t wait to say goodbye to the pieces of her life that brought her pain and nothing else.
In the meantime, she still had to deal with the consequences of her confrontation with Mario, face whatever it was he threw her way.
Just a few more weeks, she reassured herself as she dressed in a white dress shirt and black trousers. She’d just finished her smoothie and put on her jacket when her phone rang.
She frowned as she saw Massimo’s face on her screen.
“Massimo?”
“Hey, Neha.” His greeting was subdued. “How are you doing, bella?”
“I’m fine. Is everything okay with Leo? What happened?”
“Leo’s fine, cara. He’s just busy dealing with things here at the villa...”
“Oh. I didn’t know he was back from Bali already,” she said, fighting the shaft of discontent settling in her chest. Why hadn’t Leo called her as soon as he was back? After being worried that he was leaving her alone to face Mario at that. When they were so close to knowing whether they had conceived or not.