by Maisey Yates
He laughed. He laughed. “Evocative.”
“The only real issue I see is in people believing that I would choose you for a wife, Allegra,” he continued.
“Why? I am from a noble family. I was poised to become a princess.”
“And yet, all the world knows of your failing now. That you either fell out of favor with the prince, or you were unfaithful to him.”
“They will lump you into that as well,” she said. “I was not unfaithful to Raphael by myself. That would be a trick.”
“And a very enticing visual.”
Heat stung her cheeks. “Stop. None of this is fair.”
“The world is rarely so fair to women, as I’m sure you’re well aware.”
She knew that he was right. “Well, if I’m going to visit such shame upon your family name, perhaps you should consider getting another woman with your holy Acosta child. It would cause you less trouble in the end. Clearly, all of your parts are in working order. It should not be so difficult for you to conceive.”
His face turned intense. Feral. “Are you suggesting that I could so easily replace a child of mine? That all I need to do is spread my seed to another woman and it will make no difference. Never. My child shall want for nothing. And I will not leave a child of mine illegitimate. I will not deny him his birthright. It is non-negotiable.”
She looked down at her fingers, began peeling the edge of her fingernail polish. What was the point in having a perfect manicure? What was the point of presenting herself as perfect to the world when, in reality, nothing about her was perfect at all. She was beginning to fall apart at the seams. And at the edges of her nail polish.
It terrified her. If that happened, how would she hide?
“I didn’t realize having a child was so important to you,” she said.
“I married young in the hopes that I would have produced a child already, Allegra. I know you aren’t ignorant to my history. Unfortunately, Sylvia’s health made it impossible for her to carry a child. And, when she passed away, I was left with no wife and no heir.”
“And I’m sorry,” she said, at least feeling sorry for him in the moment. It was difficult to be awful to him, or even to see him as awful, when he was talking about his loss. “But you know you can’t just replace her with me. You know you can’t just... This isn’t a fix for the past.”
“Of course not,” he said, his tone filled with disdain. “You are nothing like her.”
His disdain touched some deep, needy part of her that craved approval she would never have, and made it feel like it was on the verge of shattering.
“You must have loved her very much,” she said. At least his pain helped with her hurt feelings. The fact that he was being so dismissive of her being linked to his grief was...something at least.
“She was my wife,” he said. Flat. Simple.
Allegra noticed that it wasn’t precisely an answer to her comment. Much like the tone he’d used when he’d spoken of his parents. She didn’t think it was accidental.
“I didn’t realize being a father was so important to you.”
He lifted a shoulder. “Being a father is essential to me. I must carry on my bloodline. I must ensure that my title continues. That our holdings, our responsibilities are carried through to future generations. If you think that I intend to spend my days playing nursemaid, however, you are mistaken.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m sorry, did you imagine that I wanted this child out of some sense of sentimentality? It is duty. Pure and simple.”
“But you just said that you could not replace this child with another so easily.”
“I have honor, Allegra. I will not rob my oldest son or daughter of their birthright. I will not relegate them to a life of illegitimacy because I could not come to an agreement with their mother. However, while I am not a man without honor, I am a rather cold bastard. A child would only freeze in my arms.”
“Why would you say something like that?” she asked.
He arched a brow. “It is the truth. I was a terrible husband, Allegra. Incapable of giving to Sylvia what she needed, what she craved. Why should it be different with a child?”
“Why do you think you were...incapable? I don’t understand. She always seemed very happy with you, when I saw the two of you together. And you with her.”
“She was desperately unhappy,” he said, his tone grim. “And I could not make her less so.”
“Did you try?”
His eyes were hard, black as midnight. “Of course I tried. But it was not enough. I’m not the sort of man suited to soft things.”
“Babies are very soft,” she pointed out.
“I’m aware of that.”
“Who do you propose will be raising our baby? You intend to kick me out of your home as soon as our association is finished, and you have talked about having the child stay here.”
“I shall employ staff. Well-trained, qualified.”
A thread of anxiety began to unravel inside of her, becoming tangled up with anger, resentment, fear. She had no idea how to be a mother, but of course, she had always imagined she would be one. As she’d been set on marrying a prince, producing an heir had always been one of the most important things in that bargain. She hadn’t imagined being pregnant quite this soon, but, she was. And, while she didn’t feel overly...sane at the moment, she knew for a fact that she wanted her baby.
“Who is more qualified to care for a child than its mother?” she asked, feeling a deep, primitive surge within her as she voiced the question.
A mother. She was this baby’s mother, and she would do all she could to give him or her everything. While everything else might be uncertain, that was not.
“Someone with a degree in early childhood development?”
She laughed. Not because it was funny, but because she was shocked. Because there was genuinely no other response when you were staring down your older brother’s best friend—who probably hated you—while carrying his child. “You think that somebody who went to school to take care of children would be better suited to caring for our child then we would be?”
“Than myself, certainly. I cannot speak for you. However, as you were poised to take on the life of a princess, I can’t imagine that you thought your day would be filled with changing diapers and running back and forth between sporting events and playgroups.”
She shook her head. “You have no idea who I am, Cristian. You have built up an entire idea in your mind that I’m some kind of spoiled little brat. But you truly don’t know me at all.”
“And where would I have come up with the idea that you were a spoiled brat? Perhaps, through our interactions.”
“Which interactions?” she asked, tossing her hair back, treating him to her sharpest look.
“Well, there was that time at Christmas when you told me in no uncertain terms that I could go to hell.”
“You said my outfit made me look like a desperate shepherdess who wanted to find a stable boy to flip up her skirts!”
His lips curved into a half smile. “So I did. And so you did.”
She hadn’t thought he would remember. She had imagined she was nothing to him. That their every argument, every sniping match, faded away in his mind as soon as it was finished.
“And then that night you dragged me down the hall to lecture me about being sulky to Raphael at a summer party my parents had thrown.”
“You were. He was supposed to be your fiancé. The man you were to spend your life with and you acted like he was a piece of food you didn’t want on your plate.”
“And you couldn’t have that because it might have reflected poorly on you, is that it?”
“Naturally,” he said, his tone hard, his dark eyes glittering.
“You’re awful. You’re awful to me, and you are dismissive of my feelings. You think that because my parents arranged for me to marry a prince that I should get on my knees and thank them.”
“No,” he said, h
is voice turning dark, thunderous. “I think you should get on your knees and thank your parents for being the caring people they are. For having strong emotions about what you might become one day. For believing that you could stand up to the pressure of being a princess. It says nothing but good things about who they think you are that they imagined you could handle the pressure of being married to Prince Raphael. They believe in you. Both you and Renzo. Even if you cannot see it, that is an asset that a great many people are not afforded.”
She had to wonder if he meant himself. She knew that his father had been older when he was born, and that his mother was mostly absent. She also knew that he’d spent holidays from the time he was a boy with her family, which most certainly seemed to indicate that his family did nothing around those times.
“I hear what you’re saying,” she said, “but the only problem is, they are much more supportive of their idea of me than who I actually am.”
“Are you saying you would not have gone through with your marriage to Raphael no matter what?”
She shook her head. “No. I would have married him. I would have done it, because I was asked. It is interesting that you imagine my parents attributed my ability to be a princess to my strength. Because I’m not sure that I’m strong. I think I might simply be obedient.” She took a deep breath, and looked out at the ocean below. “Show me to my room, please. I’m exhausted, and I can’t argue with you anymore.”
There was no argument to be had, anyway. She had made this deal with the devil. She had agreed to marry him. For the sake of their child. That was her life. But, at least, unlike her marriage to Prince Raphael, this had an escape route. She would simply keep her eyes on that, and think of nothing else.
CHAPTER FIVE
“WHAT EXACTLY IS going on, Cristian? I had anticipated I might hear from you sooner. Instead, I have heard nothing since the day you stormed out of my office, and now, I hear through the grapevine that you have spirited my sister off to Spain.”
He and Allegra had been in Spain for only five hours, but word had apparently traveled quickly to her enraged older brother.
“You are not a stupid man, Renzo,” Cristian said, turning around to face the window in his home office. “I imagine you can piece together exactly what’s happening.”
“Are you telling me that you are the father of my sister’s baby?”
“It would appear so,” he said, through gritted teeth.
“Then it is a good thing that you have gone off to Spain, or I would personally be at your place of residence now, ready to kill you myself.”
“And then your nephew would find himself without a father, and who would that benefit?”
“How dare you?” He could hear barely leashed violence in his friend’s tone. “How dare you lay a hand on her? She is not what you think she is. She is far too innocent, and far too idealistic for her own good.”
Cristian rubbed his hand across his forehead. “Whether or not you believe it, I didn’t mean to defile your sister. It was an unfortunate case of mistaken identity. Or rather, two people who didn’t care to know the identity of the other.”
Renzo’s crack of laughter carried no humor at all. “And you expect me to believe that no part of you had any suspicion it was Allegra?”
His friend’s question was so pointed it burrowed beneath his skin with sharp precision, cutting him deep. “I have no interest in girls. Particularly girls who are spoiled brats that are also engaged.”
There was a pause, and Cristian had a feeling Renzo was debating whether or not to hire a hit man. “What are you going to do?”
“Obviously I intend to marry her. I am holding a ring in my hand as we speak.” He reached down, picking up the velvet box from the surface of his desk, and opening the lid. He’d had the most ostentatious ring in his family collection couriered to him from the castillo earlier today.
He intended to put it on her finger tonight during a dinner that his staff had prepared. She was angry with him, that was understandable. He was not good at catching flies with honey. Vinegar was more his talent. However, he could see that would have to change. He did not have to be a tyrant where Allegra was concerned. She was the mother of his child, and he saw no reason why they could not live together somewhat peaceably.
“And she has agreed?” Renzo asked.
“Yes,” he said.
“Somehow, I cannot imagine Allegra consenting to marry you. She hates you.”
“Oh, make no mistake, her hatred of me is still intact. However, she is not stupid. And I am a duke. I cannot have my child born a bastard, no matter who is carrying the baby. I understand this may damage our friendship, but it is something that must be done.”
“It doesn’t damage our friendship half so much as you getting my sister pregnant and then throwing her to the wolves. However, the life my parents have envisioned for her is not the life that I wanted her to have. She never wanted to marry Prince Raphael, and so I didn’t want her to either. Simply because she is a woman she is expected to put aside all of her aspirations in order to make an advantageous marriage. As though this is the eighteenth century.”
“It is not so different from you. You are expected to carry on your father’s legacy. You must marry, eventually. Have a child so that your money and your company will have hands to pass to.”
“And yet, my parents are not overly concerned with who I marry. I could do it at any point, with any bimbo I choose.”
“But you won’t.”
Renzo chuckled. “You underestimate my shamelessness. In fact, I intend to marry the most unsuitable woman I can find when the time comes. And I intend to tarry another twenty years or so with that.”
Cristian had never understood how Renzo could be so cavalier about following his parents’ wishes. His friend had no idea how fortunate he was.
“When next we speak, I will be formally engaged to your sister, after which point I will speak to your parents myself.”
“Why did you take her to Spain?” Renzo asked.
“In part, so you wouldn’t be able to kill me without taking a flight. But also because I was not above attempting to force her hand. She has been slightly more reasonable than I anticipated. But it wasn’t until I had her loaded onto my private plane that she actually agreed to the union.”
“We cannot speak of this or I will kill you with my bare hands. And lose no sleep over it.”
“Then we will not speak of it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an engagement to get to.”
* * *
“I am so glad you are here,” Maria, who had just introduced herself to Allegra as Cristian’s household manager, was gushing as she draped a garment bag over the bed. “He has been too sad these last few years. Too serious.”
Allegra imagined the housekeeper was meaning since his wife had passed away.
“It will be good to have a new woman in the house.” Maria continued on. “It is not good for a man to be alone.”
Allegra imagined Cristian almost preferred being alone. At least, he would prefer being alone to being with her. But she would not say that.
“I’m glad that he doesn’t have to be anymore,” she said softly, turning her attention to the garment bag.
“Your dress for tonight,” Maria said, as if reading her mind.
“I’m not sure that I need a special dress for dinner.”
“Of course you do. Cristian insisted that you have something special to wear, and I did my very best. You would not reject my very best,” Maria said, treating Allegra to an incredibly steely gaze.
Allegra shook her head. “Of course not.”
Maria looked triumphant. “Good. Then I will leave you to get ready.”
Maria’s best was a little bit over the top in Allegra’s estimation. Though, the dress was beautiful. A deep red lace that complemented Allegra’s skin tone and figure to perfection. It was snug fitting with long sleeves that showed off hints of golden skin beneath. The neckline was shaped like a heart,
conforming to her bustline in a very dramatic fashion.
She turned to the side, examining her waistline. She wondered how long it would be before her pregnancy started to become obvious. Already, she was nearly eight weeks along. But there was no outward sign of the changes taking place within her. A funny thing. The small, little creature in her womb had disrupted absolutely everything, and it didn’t even have the decency to show itself.
She looked at her reflection, and wondered if it appeared that she was trying too hard. But once she had the dress on, she felt obligated to fix her hair as well. And then, she found makeup in the bathroom, just her shade, and she imagined likely provided by his household staff in advance. Well, she had not been able to imagine wearing this dress while barefaced. So, she had added some golden eye shadow, liquid liner and a crimson lipstick.
Of course Cristian would think it was for him. And attribute her behavior to her uncontrollable attraction to him, that she simply didn’t have.
She took a deep breath and opened the bedroom door, steeling herself as she stepped out into the hallway, and made her way toward the staircase.
She took each step slowly, the snug fit of the dress, that ended just at her knees, restricting her movements.
When her stiletto-clad foot touched the bottom floor, she looked up and saw Cristian. Her heart turned over in her chest, her stomach squeezing tight, and a pulse began to beat at the apex of her thighs, steadfastly calling her previous assessment that she was not attracted to him a bold lie.
Things were different now. It was impossible for them to be the same. Not when she knew what he could make her body feel. So strange, because of course, she didn’t have any memory of how he looked. Except for his bare chest, she had not seen him naked. And she had never seen his face. She didn’t know what Cristian looked like in the throes of pleasure, because he had been concealed during the act. She did not know what his kiss tasted like, because his mouth had been covered. And still, her every interaction with him felt colored by the fact that her body had been joined to his.
Fair enough, she imagined, because her entire life had changed because her body had been joined to his.