by Lia Kane
“Well you certainly look rested. Healthy. There’s a nice glow about you.”
“I think that’s just light reflecting off the sequins on this shirt.”
He laughed. “Oh, if you’re hungry, there’s a bag of O negative in the fridge for you.”
“Sounds good.” I found the blood and squeezed it into a mug, then joined Paul at the table. I sipped while he finished his stir-fried vegetables with lo mein.
“How is it?” he asked.
“Bloody.” I winked. “I like your glasses, by the way.” It was the truth.
He reached up to his face and pulled them off, as if he had forgotten about his specs until I mentioned them. I wasn’t sure, but I thought he might have been blushing just a bit.
“You must wear contact lenses during the day,” I guessed.
“Yeah,” he nodded. “I’m blind as a bat. I prefer contacts but I can only wear them for about twelve hours, then they start to dry out and hurt my eyes.”
“My mom wore contacts. I remember her saying the same thing about them.”
“So you and your mom… did something happen between the two of you?”
“You could say that.”
“Do you want to talk about it?’
“Not really,” I sighed. “There’s not that much to talk about. She couldn’t handle the idea of having a daughter with VAM, so she disowned me. It’s been seven years since I last talked to her.”
He frowned. “I’m sorry, Jerrika. What about your father? Was he more supportive after getting the news?”
“He had a massive heart attack and died right after getting the news.”
“Oh God… I’m so sorry.” His jaw dropped. “What did you do when all of that happened?”
“The only thing I could do. I picked up the pieces and went on with my life.”
From across the table he stared at me, incredulous.
“I guess everyone else is down for the night?” I asked, ready for a change of subject.
“Yeah. Some went to bed earlier than others. I got home about an hour ago and heard from Sarah that a couple of the older kids got into a fight, and were sent to bed early as punishment.”
“Poor kids,” I said. “I know this can’t be easy for any of them. They’re probably stressed out over everything that’s happened over the past few days and are taking it out on each other.”
“All things considered, I think they’re coping fairly well,” he observed. Then added, “I worry about you more than them.”
“Why?”
“They have a peer support system. They have each other.”
“I do too. I’ve got Sarah, Claudia and Lucy.”
“And you all live under the same roof, and your relationships with them are part of your job. Who do you spend time with when you need a break from work? We all need friends and family in our lives.”
“Oh come on, Paul, that’s not fair. Friends and family keep bowing out of my life. I can’t force people to love me if they don’t want to.”
“No you can’t,” he relented, “but you can find new friends. You can make a new family.”
“Uh-huh. Let’s not go there right now.”
“Whatever you say, boss,” he joked. Then he pointed to my mug. “Are you done with dinner?”
“Yeah. You?”
“I am. Would you like to take a walk out on the lake with me?”
“Sure.”
We left our dishes in the sink and stepped outside through the kitchen door. I followed Paul onto the pier.
“Be careful and watch your step,” he instructed. “Some of the planks are uneven so it’s easy to trip.”
He walked beside me, resting his hand protectively on my lower back. I liked the feeling of his touch, and had to remind myself that the wedding band on his left hand was a symbol of commitment to something that I couldn’t compete with. He was married to his job, and would be gone in three years.
As we walked the pier, the vibration of the wooden posts sent ripples out across the surface of the lake. They broke the moonlight’s reflection into shimmering confetti on the water. When we reached the deck, we settled on one of the bench swings. Paul pressed his heels against the pier to set us in motion. I loved the way that the breeze tickled my face as we swung back and forth.
“Paul?” I finally mustered the courage to ask a burning question.
“Yes?”
“Don’t laugh. Am I… I mean, are we – the kids and I – vampires?”
“Ah, Jerrika. You know the official response to that. VAMPs are people living with a disease. Vampires are mythical creatures in –”
“Folklore, literature and popular culture. I know all that. But I’m asking you to cut the crap and just tell me the truth. I bought the whole ‘VAM is just a disease’ thing back when all it meant was that I had to was drink blood to survive, but now I’m growing fangs. What’s next? Do I turn into a bat? Do I live forever? Or do I get staked through the heart by Reverend Bill?”
Paul laughed. “There is a school of thought that the VAM disease has been around for centuries, and that when people were first recognized as having the disease, they were labeled vampires. The bloodfeeding would have been the most obvious mark of a so-called ‘vampire,’ but everything else you’ve heard about vampires and seen in the movies is the product of fear and overactive imaginations. You and I both know that humans can’t turn into bats. Blood feeders probably hunted wild animals for blood, but since they didn’t eat the flesh, the carcasses would accumulate on their properties, which would attract large insects, vultures and the like – any of which could be confused for bats. The assumption then, when birds or large insects were seen hovering around the homes of known blood feeders, was that those people could turn into bats and fly.”
“That makes sense,” I nodded. “What about hype that vampires had eternal life?”
“People with VAM end up losing almost all of their body fat. A lower body mass index has always been associated with longevity. And since ‘vampires’ were already ostracized and shut off from society, they probably avoided a lot of the communicable diseases that killed entire towns at a time. Those so-called vampires could have easily outlived several generations of their peers, considering that the average lifespan back then was much shorter than it is today.”
“What about vampires frying if they stepped out into the sun?”
“As you already know, anemia and malnutrition can cause sensitivity to sunlight and extreme heat, so avoiding the sun during the day and only coming out at night would be self-protective.”
“Alright… I’ve got one more for you. In the movies, vampires usually have some kind of mind control powers. How do you explain that?”
“Beats me, but if I had to venture a guess I’d say that ‘vampires’ were accused of having all kinds of supernatural abilities in an effort to take away their humanity. It was no different than the women who were hunted down and hanged for being witches. Seems to me that if all of those folks had supernatural powers, and could read minds or divine the future, they would have foreseen their deaths and avoided them, right? They never had any such powers, and probably never gave anyone a reason to believe that they did. But people who are ignorant and scared will lie to themselves so they can feel better about doing something morally wrong. They needed to believe that a murder was a righteous act, so they kept feeding themselves half-truths and lies until they finally believed their own hype. Once people saw ‘vampires’ as demonic creatures of the night, and not fellow human beings who were just different, they didn’t feel so bad about hunting them down and staking them through the heart.”
I exhaled loudly. “Nowadays, it seems, barbequing is the preferred method of vampire disposal.”
Paul touched my shoulder. “No one’s going to barbeque you, Jerrika. You’re safe here.”
“Sure. As long as we’re hiding from the rest of the world. It kind of sucks,” I laughed. “Given the choice between being a VAMP and a vampire, I�
�d choose the latter. It would be nice to have some special powers to make up for being a feared, hated, social outcast and a blood-drinking weakling.”
“You’re not a weakling. You’re far from it.”
“You’re just saying that to be polite.”
“No,” he insisted, “I’m not. You have no idea how strong you are. I can see it even if you can’t.”
“Yet you tell me that you’re more worried about me than you are the kids. You think I’m isolated and I don’t have a support system –”
“I just really think you should check out the VAMily Reunion. Having VAM is a defining part of your life, whether you want it to be or not. Sometimes, you just need to be with your kind. You would see that this town is full of people just like you – everyday, normal people, who are just trying to live a good life, go to work every day, take care of themselves and their families… in fact it is a family of sorts. My patients tell me often how much it has helped them. Anyway, I’ve harped on it enough that I know you get the message, so that’s the last I’ll say about it.”
“And I’ll go someday. I promise. It’s just that more important stuff keeps popping up that demands my time attention. Like I start a new job, then my home burns to the ground… next, I end up in the emergency room, then I have to move in with my doctor on a moment’s notice in the middle of the night… those kinds of things. That’s been my week so far.”
“Touché.”
And, for a moment, we smiled at each other and laughed like normal people.
• • •
After we came back in the house, I went upstairs to wind down for bed. I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror through half-closed eyelids; the weight of fatigue threatening to force them fully shut. I scrubbed a toothbrush around my mouth and spit in the sink, chasing the last of my evening meal of blood from my mouth. As I washed the pink foam down the drain, my mind wandered back to a toothpaste commercial on TV. Seeing red in the sink? It might be a sign of gum disease. If you’re not using the right toothpaste, you could be making it worse!
I rewrote the commercial in my head. Seeing red in the sink? It might be a sign that you’re a blood-sucking VAMP. If you’re not using the right toothpaste… well, it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference. Nothing ever will. Clean those fangs off and get used to it, sucker.
I looked like I had aged at least a decade since the last time I saw my reflection in a mirror. Brushing my bangs aside, I spotted fine lines creasing their way across my forehead. I frowned as I noticed the beginnings of crow’s feet pulling at the corners of my eyes.
Then I parted my lips and stared at my teeth. Specifically, at my canines.
My fangs.
I leaned closer to give them a harder look. Maybe…. maybe they were just tiny bit longer than they had been the day before. I couldn’t be sure. If they were, it was by a miniscule amount, just a fraction of an inch. I didn’t even want to know if they were. I turned off the bathroom light and stepped out into the hallway.
Then I heard shouting.
“Get off of me! Stop!” cried the muffled voice of a little girl. It sounded like Haley. My heart skipped a beat.
“Haley?” I walked toward the stairwell, hoping to tune into any commotion that might be underway on the first floor. Nothing seemed amiss. It was dark downstairs and I couldn’t imagine any of the children being up at this hour, especially knowing that Sarah and Claudia were sharing a room just across the hall from theirs.
A second voice echoed around down the hallway.
“Grrrrr…”
I recognized the low, guttural growl. It was Jonathan, and there was nothing childlike or playful in his voice. The sound turned my stomach.
“Jonathan? Kids? What’s going on?”
From behind me, Haley screamed. I spun around and noticed that the light in Paul’s bedroom was on and his door was slightly ajar. I bounded through it without knocking.
“What’s going on in here?”
Jonathan and Haley were nowhere to be found. Paul, who was sitting behind his desk, looked up from his computer.
“Where are they?” I demanded. “Where are the kids?”
He shook his head. “Jerrika, there are no kids in here. Everyone’s asleep downstairs. I checked on them before I came up to my room.”
“But I heard screaming. And I distinctly heard Haley say ‘get off me.’ What’s going on?”
Paul looked down at his computer and spun the monitor around to face me. With one mouse click, a video of Jonathan and Haley appeared on the screen.
“Get off me! Stop!” Haley repeated out as Jonathan threw himself on top of her and pinned her to the floor pro-wrestler style. She kicked her legs and thrashed her arms.
“Grrrrr!” He snarled. He raised his upper lip, causing chills to shoot through my body. He too had elongated canines.
Fangs.
Paul clicked his mouse again to pause the video.
“You filmed them?” I asked.
“It’s not what you think,” he said, raising his palms defensively.
“Did you or didn’t you film them?”
“Yes,” he admitted, “I have them on video.”
“Without telling me about it?” I snapped. “How much have you seen, Paul? Why didn’t you tell me you had cameras in the house? Have you been watching me in the shower? Or the children? That’s… that’s sick!”
“You don’t understand!” he shouted. “They’re only in the common areas, where the televisions and the more expensive furniture are… not in the bedrooms or bathrooms.”
“Still, you’re spying on us!”
“I can explain,” Paul insisted. “My sister rented out the house one summer to a group of people who stole some things and broke a big-screen television. She wasn’t able to recover the damages without actual proof that they had done it. After that experience, she installed a few surveillance cameras throughout the common areas of the house. They’re motion-activated and record only whenever someone enters a room. I was concerned when I heard about the children fighting today, so I just wanted to see how severe the fight had been.”
“You should have told me that there were cameras in the house,” I insisted.
“I just didn’t think about it. My top priority was getting all of you here and keeping you safe…”
“And why was it so important for us to come here, Paul? Why all the secrecy?”
He threw his hands up with frustration. “Where else were you supposed to go? Who else came to you and offered you a place that a dozen women and children could move into on a moment’s notice? And the secrecy – Jerrika, we talked about that! It’s for your own protection!”
“Why should I believe you? How do I know you didn’t burn down the orphanage yourself and shuttle all of us here so we could be part of some experiment? You said yourself you’ve devoted your life to VAM research. Is that what the videotaping is all about? Are we your subjects in that violence study you told me about in your office? Better yet, is there some ulterior motive why you’re trying to force me into that VAMily Reunion group?”
“What?” He cried out. “No! Are you crazy? All I said is that there’s a public health study underway, but it’s not taking place anywhere near Blue Sky. I’m not involved in it, nor are any of my patients. And if you think for a second that I could have burned down the orphanage… you’re the one who’s sick, Jerrika. I would never hurt anyone. Ever. Everything that I’ve ever done for you and advised for you has only been with your best interests at heart. I took an oath as a doctor to do no harm, and I will never, ever break it.”
“How am I supposed to trust you when you’re keeping secrets from me?”
“I’ve never been anything but honest with you. I fully intended to tell you about the cameras.”
“Then when were you planning to get around to it?” I interrupted. “Is it just one of those things that you were going to keep quiet until someone else figured it out? Like how you’re not married, but you lea
d people into thinking that you are? Don’t preach to me about honesty, Paul. Deception and keeping secrets are no different from lying.”
We stared at each other for a long moment.
“It’s late,” Paul finally said. “We both need to rest. You’re welcome to call Agnes tomorrow and share your concerns with her. If you want to go back to the Holiday Inn or if she can help you find somewhere else to go, then I’ll get everyone moved out again. I don’t want to hold you back if you don’t feel safe here.”
I was at a loss for words.
“Fine,” I said, bewildered and confused. I turned on my heel and went back to my room.
Chapter Seventeen
THE SAME FRIENDLY beam of sunlight crept in through the gap in the curtains the following morning. It was 9:45, according to the clock on the nightstand. I was slowly making my way back to a normal schedule. Once I actually knew what I was supposed to be doing in my job, I imagined the luxury of sleeping late every morning would be gone.
Then again, a regular schedule and a normal life without house fires, trips to the hospital, and uprooting in the middle of the night to move elsewhere would be a welcome change of pace.
At the window, I parted the curtains to see sunlight reflecting off the rippling surface of the lake. Sarah and the school-age kids were reading books on the bench swings under the deck, safely sheltered from the sun. Everyone looked content.
Paul’s home was such a peaceful place. I really didn’t want to leave here, especially not after seeing the children so happy. I wondered if I had overreacted the night before. Maybe I had been too harsh.
Downstairs, I found Claudia and Naz in a face off at the table in the dining room. They were talking about religion.
“What about you, Miss Rand?” Naz asked me, bypassing the customary ‘good morning’ and drawing me into their conversation. “Do you believe in God? The Bible? Heaven? Hell?”
I sat down with them. “Beliefs are a complex thing, Naz.”
“Not really,” Naz disagreed. “It’s simple. Either you believe or you don’t.”
“I disagree,” said Claudia. “Spirituality isn’t black and white. People have lots of different beliefs about a higher power, and the afterlife.”