Right after Max had graduated from art school, his father, in an uncharacteristically generous mood, had bought him the building as a graduation present. But he’d been characteristically dismissive of Max’s ability to ever make a living on his own.
Now, he paid his own bills, proud of the fact that he hadn’t touched his trust fund since completing the repairs. In the back of his mind, he’d always known that if he relied on the money from his father, even though it was held in trust, there would be strings attached. And it wasn’t like he had enough to offer Letty the kind of life she’d had growing up, or even the kind of life she deserved. After living with his mother, seeing what strings to the elder Delgado could do, he was wary.
Wary was the only way to be around his father, especially when he appeared to be waiting for a response to his backhanded compliment. “I’m not sure what you’re trying to get at.” He kept himself from calling him by his first name, but just. His father would see that as a sign of disrespect, but that was how Max really felt about him. How he’d felt since he was a kid and realized that a good parent wouldn’t treat their kid like dirt because he was gay.
“I’m going to make quite a bit of money on it when I sell it.”
Shock rendered Max mute, but he didn’t let it show on his face. His father had said that with the express aim of shocking him, and he wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Even though the ground had fallen out from beneath him. He couldn’t help crossing his arms, covering the center of his chest where his father had just sheathed his proverbial knife.
“You’re selling?”
Max wanted to bang his head against the wall for not getting his father to sign over the building at some point. But no, he’d been paying his father nominal rent for years. Taxes or something, according to his father.
“Yes. In order to bring the divorce to conclusion, I need to come up with some funds.” Oh, so that was what this was all about. Because Max had aided and abetted his mother’s escape from this monstrously damaged man, he had to be punished. And because, like the man standing across from him, he didn’t emote a whole hell of a lot, his father decided to hurt him the only way he knew how to punish. By taking away his livelihood.
His success had been sporadic, and his father very well knew that he couldn’t just buy the building outright from him unless he cleaned out his trust fund—which his father controlled. “You going to let me buy it?”
“With what money?”
“My trust fund.”
“You mean the one that I’ve been paying for your mother’s alimony out of?”
Rage steamed through Max’s bones. He wanted to smash his father’s face into the concrete and mash his organs under his boots. All of this so much worse because he knew that his father had the same instincts and could probably smell the rage coming off of him as though they were beasts in the wilderness.
Something about his father always made him feel this way. Even though he’d barely raised him, he knew all the buttons to push. And because Max was bigger than him, he knew the only way to get to him was through outmaneuvering him. And Max hadn’t watched his own back well enough because the man was still his father. No matter how horrifically the other man behaved, he was still a part of Max. And Max had never let go of the hope that his father would change and would love him.
And he shouldn’t have been surprised. Max fought mightily on a daily basis to be nothing like this man, yet his inherited rage won out from time to time, like it was going to today.
“So, it’s all gone.”
“You and your brother and sister are self-sufficient adults now. None of you had touched the money, and your mother needs it.”
Max’s head snapped up and he narrowed his gaze at his father. That’s what he’d always said about the pills, that she needed them. But they’d only been a way for him to be in control of his wife. He was the one who had really needed the drugs, and now that his mother was clean, he needed another way to control her—so he was doing it with money.
And Max might be a solitary, cranky bastard, but the only control he’d ever wanted was over his own life. Because of or despite his mother’s addiction, he also didn’t like to need anything—and the need he was starting to feel for Letty was out of control. Part of him wanted to go up to his loft and call her right now. She would know what to do about this.
But then it dawned on him that he couldn’t call her. Even before his father had taken it all away, he hadn’t had enough to offer Letty. Her father owned a Caribbean island, and he was about to be homeless. And—oh God—if he shared this with her, she would think he wanted her to solve it like all the other problems she’d solved for him. She would think that he was just like Simon, that his desire for her had all been an act. What they had was already so tenuous, how could he convince her to believe that he cared about her now? That he was good enough? She deserved someone who would take some of the weight off of her, not someone who couldn’t even take care of himself financially.
Fuck, this would mean that he had to push her out of his life.
The thought of never seeing or touching Letty again, never smelling her hair or feeling her fall apart while inside her body grew his rage even more. His father was taking away his home and livelihood. For the first time, he realized that he wasn’t just angry with his father—he actively hated the man.
“How long do I have?” He wasn’t going to give his father the satisfaction of losing his temper in front of him—wasn’t going to let the other man in on the knowledge that he was just like him. But he wanted him gone. Like, now.
“I haven’t put it on the market yet.” His father shrugged, looking almost disappointed that Max wasn’t yelling or throwing punches. “So at least a month until we can sell it and close with a new owner.”
With all the work he’d put into it, this place wouldn’t be on the market for a week before someone with a cash offer snapped it up. His mind raced for ways to delay, but he couldn’t think of anything. He felt as though a spike was driving into the back of his eye from inside his head. He hated everything and everyone right now—his father, his mother, his siblings for being better than him at getting their shit together, Letty for believing in him, and for the way she would just try to fix this for him and keep believing in him.
And he’d end up draining her dry.
He knew it was bullshit and that Letty only cared about money because people had used her parents’ huge piles of it against her, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that he needed to have something to offer her in order to be with her. And, right now, all he had were stacks of drawings and piles of metal and no place to put them in a little more than a month.
From the moment they’d met, he knew he wasn’t good enough for her, and this only proved it. They were going to have to end things before they even really started. The idea that he’d have to dismantle all the romantic hope in her eyes whenever she looked at him hurt him almost more than the idea that he was going to be homeless.
He’d figure out something for himself, but he refused to rope Letty into all of his family drama. She had enough of her own, and he wouldn’t be another person to use her to pull him out of his issues. She deserved for someone to make her see that she was enough for someone to love, just as she was. She deserved someone who she didn’t need to take care of. He just wasn’t the man to love her. He never had been, and this was just the final sign.
He glared at his father, trying to will him out of the building as quickly as possible. “We done?”
Max must not have been as good at hiding his feelings as he’d thought because his father had a smirk on his face before he turned and walked out the door.
* * * *
Being part of a truly motley crew of woman crowded into a Coral Gables boutique on a Saturday morning was not how Letty was accustomed to starting her weekend. Actually, the really original part of the whole set up wa
s that she’d woken up in Max’s bed.
The night before had been weird. He’d touched her with an amped up, angsty intensity that blew her mind, but there was something distant about him. And even the rusty smiles had been fewer and farther between. She wasn’t about to complain about his maniacal focus on getting her off, but she’d felt a part of him slip away that she needed to feel him there with her. She cared about him too much to accept anything less.
But she couldn’t mope about the whole morning, thinking about how her boyfriend seemed distant because his sister had called and invited her shopping. That had turned into her calling Elena, thankful that she wasn’t in the Maldives or walking in Milan fashion week. And then Laura had brought Maya along with Max’s cousins, Alana and Carla. She’d thought all of them showing up was weird at first, but they were kind of infectious with all their energy. And they brought really good coffee.
At that moment, Maya and Elena eyed each other up, and everyone was on tenterhooks, hoping the two women wouldn’t make a scene. Elena tended to make a scene wherever she went, but she’d never been one for cat fighting.
“She’s really pretty,” Alana, a tall, dark-haired, very pregnant woman, said. “Odds on Maya clocking her?”
A petite, redheaded woman laughed and rubbed her sister’s lower back. “Nah, Maya’s been shockingly placid these days.”
Elena decided that would be a good time to pipe in. “I never slept with him.”
“You didn’t?” Maya smiled then, and the tension in the tiny storefront amped down several notches. “My husband’s been inflating his numbers?”
“Apparently.” Elena shrugged. “I was pretty new, and my agent pushed me to be seen with him.”
“You don’t think my husband’s hot?” Maya almost sounded offended, and both Alana and Carla laughed. They were messy bitches who lived for drama, apparently. Letty was kind of into it, too. She didn’t like her own drama, but other people’s drama was entertaining. Maybe she’d fit in with Max’s extended family just fine.
“Sure, but he was kind of a fucked-up man whore back then.” Letty’s sister gestured toward Maya. “I really approve of what you’ve done with him. It’s like you took a house with good bones and turned it into something really special.”
“They always look better after they’re married, don’t they?” Max’s sister, Laura, piped in. “I feel like Charlie is so much more appealing now that I’ve put my brand on him.”
“Ew, I don’t want to think about whatever kinky shit you’re doing with my business partner.” Carla pulled a face and turned to peruse racks. “Aren’t we here to make sure Letty is good enough for Max and then make her look so devastating that he can’t help but propose?”
That hit Letty in the gut. If she’d known she was going to be evaluated, she wouldn’t have been wearing yesterday’s sex clothes and probably sex hair. “We are so not there, ladies.”
“So, you’re just sleeping with my brother?” Laura helped Alana lower herself into a chair and looked at Letty as though she’d kick her ass if she hurt her brother, even though Letty had fifty pounds on her.
“I think so?” Letty wasn’t sure, and she couldn’t keep the insecurity out of her voice. Before last night, she would have had a different answer. Maybe.
“Great.” Laura shoved a black sequin dress at Letty. “Try this.”
Letty checked the size label, heartened to see that Laura hadn’t grabbed a size double zero or whatever she wore. Still, the dress would plunge to there in the front and the back. It would never work for her.
“Just try it,” Carla said. “This one’s giving you a hard time. She was actually the second victim of Lola’s matchmaking. Her grandmother was drunk with power after she stranded Jonah and I together during a tropical storm.” Letty had seen Jonah and Carla’s travel show before. Their chemistry was palpable on-screen, and Letty could see why Lola had thought they would be a perfect match.
She wasn’t sure that the same thing could be said for her and Max; she only knew how she felt when she was with him and how much more of that she wanted. She only knew how she felt when she was with him was different than anything she had ever felt for Simon. It was as though he’d woken up a needy—wanty—part of her that had never had air.
Elena had always been encouraged to be unapologetically wanty. Even now, she’d handed the fawning saleslady a stack of dresses that she would probably be able to get for free—just because she was beautiful and she wanted them. It was this kind of power that came along with feeling like the most beautiful woman in the world. Growing up feeling like the ugly sister had made Letty different. No one fawned over her. Barely anyone wanted to make a dress that would even fit over her ample ass.
“Stop moping, chica,” her sister said. “Go try on those dresses before the girl falls over.”
“I thought they were for you?”
“I told the salesgirl that you were my sister, and that she’d better be nice to you.”
“They can’t be in my size.”
“You’re a size fourteen.” Elena impatiently gestured toward the dressing room. “They have your size in stores. Hell, you should start modeling so you can get all your clothes for free, like me.”
Embarrassed, Letty looked around at the other women in the store. Laura and Carla nodded; Alana and Maya were talking and not paying attention. It might have been then that she realized that her mother’s opinion of her looks and size and how those two were related was just that—an opinion. It was one she’d taken on as her own for decades, but she didn’t have to do that anymore. Didn’t want to.
Perhaps she could see herself the way that Max did. As she tried on dress after dress, she didn’t get discouraged when her sister squinted at her or asked for another size. For the first time, it wasn’t her body’s fault. After all, her body was how she got pleasure from Max’s touch. Every bad dress was just that—something that wasn’t for her—a bad dress for her.
She’d been accepting the fact that she was bad and needed to fit into a mold that wasn’t designed for her that the freedom of wanting better—even the small liberty of wanting to love the fabric next to her skin, of wanting to feel sexy—was heady and brand-new.
It felt like dress number a million before the women with her all nodded in approval. The dress was red satin, and it was cut down way too far for her comfort, but Elena would not be moved.
“But my boobs—”
“What do you think I have that storage container full of tape for?”
“You’re going to tape my boobs?”
“Uh, yeah.” Elena looked at her like she was crazy, as did the other women now crowded around her. Apparently, she was the only one who’d never had to tape her boobs.
Letty felt like she was in for a lot more than dress shopping today, like all the other women had shown up to check her out, and she’d passed the test. “This is not the end of this, is it?”
Her sister put her arm around her shoulders. “I promise you’ll feel like a princess by the end of the day.”
Letty scowled at her scheming sister as her coconspirators laughed.
After the boutique, the waxing had been the worst part. Not that Letty didn’t groom regularly, she just didn’t see why she’d needed hairless arms. For a few minutes, she was worried that all her limbs would be angry and red and match her dress.
But everything had calmed down, and Elena had finally disappeared into her room to get ready for the gala. Buffed, polished, and plucked, all Letty had to do was stand near the door and wait for Max.
And she had to stand so her dress wouldn’t wrinkle.
She almost hadn’t recognized the woman in the mirror as she was getting ready. And she hoped, given the weird vibe she’d gotten at moments from Max the night before, that he wouldn’t think she was trying too hard.
Although she had never been accused of being
vain, she wanted him to find her so gorgeous that he couldn’t keep his hands off of her. She needed to feel irresistible to this man, and she was almost ready to be done apologizing for it.
When a knock came at the door, she smoothed the fabric over her hips, hoping her palms didn’t sweat all over the dress before opening the door.
Chapter 17
Someone could have knocked Max over with a tiny shove when Letty opened the door. He’d spent the whole day trying to get his head straight after talking to his father. Trying to convince himself that he wasn’t going to hell for wanting one more night with Letty before breaking things off to save them both.
Although she’d stayed over last night, she’d left him after a long session in the shower in the morning. He knew he wouldn’t have mornings like that with her to look forward to. There would only be looking back. And he wouldn’t let her down without taking one more night. He was too fucking selfish not to.
Before he’d arrived, he’d known it would be hard to tell her that they were over.
But now she looked like a goddamn movie star. Simultaneously, he didn’t want anyone to see her looking this way and wanted everyone to see her through his eyes. As strong as she was, not the wilting flower he’d taken her for, he knew that her heart was as fragile as glass.
“What do you think?” she asked as she cocked a hip.
“Think?” He forced a smile onto his face, seeing the red blown glass heart beating out of her chest, needing to keep her safe and reassure her. Feeling so protective of her had him feeling like his chest was broken open for just anyone to rummage around in. “I can’t think when you look like that.”
She grabbed his arm and pulled him in. “Do we have room in the car for one more?”
“Sure.” He was confused, or maybe it was just the dress that had actually addled his brains. “Are you bringing a replacement date in case this one doesn’t work out?”
“No, my sister is coming with.”
Ah, the sister. Part of him wondered if it was a test to see if he really liked her. If his eye would wander or if he was legit. Looking like she did—or more importantly—being the woman she was, she didn’t have anything to worry about. The only woman he wanted to touch as though she was his was standing right in front of him. And even though he wouldn’t be able to keep her, she deserved to know that he wanted to.
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