“I make no apologies for my deeds or my name, sir.” Her cheeks pinked with either a blush or fury, he wasn’t sure which. God, how he loved holding her in his arms.
“I ask for none. I ask for nothing. Understand me. I want you. I wanted the great Lillian Dellacourt in my bed before I had even met her. My brother wrote of a student so tireless, she put him to shame. The first woman to join The Company and she was a warrior. I think Brice is half in love with you. Letter after letter, he told me of all the things you had accomplished in half the time it took other students.
“When I first saw you for myself, I thought I was dreaming. Yet there you were, a fierce and beautiful warrior.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Why would I lie?”
“I don’t know, but I am certain Brice is in no way in love with me, therefore the rest of your story is questionable.”
Dorian lifted her. She could not have been too angry, as she was more than capable of removing his arms from around her. She did not, and he carried her to a patch of soft grass and placed her on her back.
Her body arched toward his. “It doesn’t matter anyway. We can never be more than what we are here and now. You are a gentleman. One day you will find a lady to give you children and spend your life with. I ask only for pleasure in this moment. Pleasure to chase away the demons.”
Sorrow tightened his chest. “The demons we face do not disappear through distraction.”
“For a few moments, they do. In my mind.” Her arms wrapped around his neck, and strong fingers caressed his back.
He was uncomfortably hard, but this was not going how he’d imagined it. She wanted a quick tumble. He was nothing more than a distraction from the pain of the world. If she had been any other woman, he might have liked something quick and meaningless. But this was Lillian, a woman he had coveted from afar for years.
Sitting back on his heels, he took one more look at her beauty, only accentuated by the soaked shift. I can’t believe what I’m about to do. “Forgive me, Lilly. You ask for more than I can give you at this time. I will forgo the delights of your body until we can come to an understanding.”
Her stunning lips formed a rather large O, before she pushed up to her elbows. “You do not wish to lay with me? I am willing and enthusiastic. Those were your requirements, Dorian.”
He got up, walked back to the pond, splashed cool water on his face and rubbed the grime from his skin. “I know and while I very much wish it were, for some reason, it is not enough.”
“What kind of understanding do you believe we can come to?”
Telling her he wanted more than one tryst beside that pond served no purpose. She had ideas about him, which he had to disprove through deed. If he took her now, he’d never win her. And if it was possible, he wanted to have this magnificent woman for his own.
She would be the death of him. He dove into the pond. The cool water did little to quell his desire, but it was enough, so when he broke the water’s surface he could contain his longing.
* * * *
He swam to the far end of the pond. All Lillian could do was stare at his retreating form. She didn’t know whether to be flattered or offended. It was likely he thought she was a whore and didn’t want to sully himself with her kind. It had been a risk to offer herself to Dorian, but she wanted him, and more than that, she wanted to get him out of her system.
It had worked years ago with Reece, and they had gone on to become the closest of friends. If Dorian was to be her new partner, even for a short time, they both needed to focus on their tasks and get their attraction under control. Yet the idea of being intimate with Dorian excited her more than was comfortable. She flushed with giddiness at the idea. The pravus had almost poisoned him. She shivered with the memory. He’d risked himself to protect those children. She’d been angry, and yet that was when her attraction had blossomed.
His arms ripped through the water’s surface, and she couldn’t help imagining his muscles wrapping around her and holding her.
She shook her head and walked to the carriage. She found a pat of soap, took off her chemise, and went to the water’s edge. Never taking her attention away from him, she soaped and rinsed off before putting on a clean chemise and spreading a blanket on the grass.
She’d left the soap near the edge with a clean cloth and watched as Dorian cleaned himself. He turned and caught her, and she met his gaze. His cock responded even if he would not follow his desire. Was it just a male reaction to a woman watching him wash or was it her? Did it matter? Yes, it mattered quite a lot. Damn.
He dove back in and rinsed the soap away before walking to the carriage and dressing. The sun warmed the ground, and Lillian’s exhaustion caught up with her. She drifted to sleep before they made a proper camp for the night.
The crackle of wood burning woke her. The sun touched down at the horizon, and the earth cooled beneath her. She shot up. “Dorian?”
“I am here.” He sat across from her on the grass and added wood to the fire.
“I apologize for falling asleep. I should have helped with the firewood.”
He shrugged. “You were tired.”
“You should sleep. No one will bother us here.”
He stood and moved closer before sitting on the blanket next to her. “How do you know?”
“I have hidden here and watched demons march by. They will not enter this place. I think it might be holy ground, too sacred for even the demons to enter. On the other side of the pond, behind the trees, there is a circle of standing stones. No demons will come near the area.”
His eyes sparkled in the firelight as he looked across to the area she’d spoken about. Scanning the entire clearing as she had done time and time again, looking for some hint of why the demons did not enter. His hard chest pressed against her back, and he pulled the blanket around them, forming a warm cocoon.
An intellectual nobleman and a peasant demon hunter; what creature might they emerge as? His arm banded around her middle, and her mind could process nothing besides the feel of this man. “Dorian, why are you so opposed to bedding me?”
His low chuckle tickled her ear. “I am not opposed, my lady. I just want more.”
“If we get sex out of the way, we could become friends.”
The fire crackled. His breath warmed her neck with an even cadence. He must have fallen asleep or found her too disgusting to speak to, yet his arm remained snug to her middle.
“Is that how you and Foxjohn became such good friends?” Low and close, his voice sent a shiver down her spine.
“A long time ago.”
“And were their others, Lilly?”
“What do you mean?”
His grip around her waist tightened. “Besides Reece, have you made a habit out of sleeping with men to relieve the stress of battle?”
“Is that what you think I’m doing? I just do not want you to get yourself killed because you are admiring my legs.”
“And you think lovemaking will lessen my interest?”
“Of course.”
“Lilly, you are a puzzle to me. I want to know everything about you, and yet, I fear what you might tell me.”
“Because you think I’m a whore.” She hated the tear that slid down her cheek. Damn the pain his disapproval stabbed in her heart. Why should it matter what one man thought of her? He didn’t mean anything to her. He never would.
“No. Never that.”
“What do you think then?”
“I do not know what to make of you. I know you are not French, and Dellacourt is a false name.”
“But one I have been using for a long time, monsieur.”
“What is your real name?”
“What does it matter?” She pulled away, but he held her tight. Of course, she could have made him release her, but the warm protection of his arms was too delightful to let go of so soon.
“It makes no difference, but I’m curious. I would also like to know where you come from and ho
w you came by those interesting blades of yours.”
Her heart pounded in her ears. Don’t tell him. The warmth of his embrace and the intimacy of the moment blurred her resolve. If she pushed him away, she might never feel so comfortable again. “I was born Lilly Blunt, though I suspect my mother made that name up as it is a bit too grand for the likes of us. She was a seamstress in Suffolk.”
“That is very respectable. Why change your name?”
His arms tightened.
She pulled away from him. He released her, so she sat up and moved a few feet away. The fire warmed her, but a shiver still ran up her spine. The ghosts of her past haunted her still. Damn them.
“I do not know who my father was. If my mother knew, she never said.”
“I see. Is that why you made up a name and left home? Because you were illegitimate?”
“Dorian, why do you want to know all of this? It has no bearing on the task set before us. I have agreed to do the research to learn how to close the gates. What more do you want from me?”
The intensity of his gaze left her exposed beyond her near nudity. “I want to know you, Lilly, and it has nothing to do with demons or hunting or The Company.”
“Why?”
His lips formed a smile that made her heart beat even faster. “You know why.”
“What interest could a marquis have in the illegitimate daughter of a tradeswoman?”
“I do not care who your parents are, and my father gave up that title rather than lose his head to the guillotine.”
“My story is not that interesting. It might be told by a dozen other girls of my station.”
“How did you become a demon hunter?”
“My mother was killed by demons. I was angry and Reece found me.”
“Why where you not killed as well?”
“I was not living at home.”
“How old were you?”
“Seventeen.”
He sat up, crossed his legs, and watched her intently. “Tell me the whole story, Lilly.”
The old anger welled up from the pit of her stomach. “And if I do, will you tell me why you dislike being called marquis so much?”
“It is not a secret, Lilly. I will tell you anything you ask. Anything.”
The last word, and the way he watched her, made her want to ask him everything. “When I was fifteen I caught the eye of the local nobleman, an earl. He bought me from my mother for two crown.”
She expected to see disgust, but only anger flashed in his eyes. “He brought me to his manor, but of course his wife was not pleased, so he took me to a small holding on the far side of Sussex. I was not permitted to leave the property or see my mother. He kept me there for two years and used me at his will. Only Reece knows the rest.”
He held his body rigid, hands fisted, but he caressed her hand. “You can trust me, Lilly.”
She took a deep breath. “Every few weeks, a delivery of food and other goods came to the cottage. The young man who delivered it told me my mother had gone missing a few days before. Without thinking, I left the cottage and returned to my town to find my mother. She was gone and her house was in shambles. Someone had destroyed it trying to take her away.”
“Did the earl come for you?”
“He came. He beat me until I was unconscious, and during the thrashing told me he had sold my mother to men who threatened his land. He believed by selling an aging seamstress he could keep the blight from destroying his crops for the year.”
Dorian’s voice hummed in the intimacy of the dimming light. “What did you do?”
“I stabbed the man who had taken everything from me. I skewered him with his own blade, then stole his horse and rode until both the horse and I were close to death. Reece found me on the side of the road. He was heading to Scotland to train. He took care of me and convinced me to go with him to Scotland. I had stabbed an earl. Even if he survived, I was bound for prison or bedlam. Reece and The Company saved my life.”
“How do you know your mother was killed by demons?”
“Reece and I found her clothes, a shawl she always wore, near scorched ground. There had been a sacrifice. There were no bodies, but it is not likely my mother lived.”
“And the earl? Did he live?”
“He is dead now, but not by my hand. He ruined himself on absinth and fell off his horse a few years ago. Broke his neck.”
“Too good a death for him.”
He was right, but it didn’t matter anymore.
“Why did you join the demon hunters? They would not have turned you in to the authorities. You could have started a new life in Scotland, and no one would have known about your past.”
Another unwanted tear slid down her cheek. These memories had stopped making her cry years ago, so why was the telling so emotional? “I cannot say.”
She had expected him to shun her or find her origins disgusting. He was a noble like the man who had bought her for a few coins. Somehow, she could not compare the two men with any success. Dorian opened his arms, inviting her back into the circle of his embrace.
A stronger woman might have cursed him and slept in the cold grass. Weakness or not, she moved back to the blanket and allowed his arms to envelope her. They stretched out on their sides with her back pressed tight against his chest. “I joined The Company because I had nowhere to go, and Reece was the only person in the world who cared if I lived or died.”
“Thank you, Lilly.”
“For what?”
“The truth.”
“I thought you would hate me. You should hate me, Dorian.”
“It might go easier on us both if I could, but I am grateful for your trust, and my admiration for you is only increased by your story. I am curious about one thing.”
“Only one? What is it?”
“Why take a French surname?”
“My mother sometimes took me to London where she got temporary work with a dress maker. She was French and very elegant. She called me Lillian and told me I was beautiful. She was very kind to me and her name was Madam Dellacourt. Not even Reece knows that part of the story.”
His arms tightened, and his lips pressed against her temple. “Why did you not marry Foxjohn?”
“He asked. Whatever you may think of Reece, he is a gentleman. He asked me many times at the beginning.”
“And yet you did not become his wife.”
“No. I did not love him in that way, and he certainly was not in love with me. Within The Company, I did not need the protection of marriage. Eventually, he stopped asking.”
“I am quite glad you did not marry anyone.”
She turned in his arms. “Why is that?”
“Because I’m quite sure you would not be here with me if you were Mrs. Foxjohn, or Mrs. Anyone for that matter.” His full lips were only a sliver from hers.
Her breasts were flush to his chest with only her thin chemise and his fine linen shirt between them. “Most men of your station are not interested in a woman who is no longer pure.”
Her hair had dried in a tangled mess, but he threaded his fingers through and gentled the knots away. “Again, our definitions are different, Lilly. You are all that is good, and I will challenge anyone who claims otherwise.”
Her heart skipped faster. “That seems a bold statement. You hardly know me.” Their breath mingled, and her body tightened.
“I have known you from the time of those letters from my brother.”
“I do not know what to say.”
“I want you to understand something, Lilly. This is not an end of something.”
He was going to kiss her, and she might have agreed to anything to stop him from changing his mind. Whether or not she believed it was a different story. “All right.”
Ever so slowly, his mouth covered hers. His hand skimmed along her waist. Every touch sparked excitement that was new and different from any experience she’d ever had. She wanted to pull away even though it was what she longed for. She had come to the
safety of the pond and its standing stones with seduction on her mind, yet it was he who had done the seducing.
Her desire was more than the need for release after a battle. She had fought hundreds of times without needing a man’s company afterward. She wanted Dorian, wanted to have all of him, yet the voice in her head screamed a warning.
Desire warred with Lillian’s need to be in control as his tongue pressed at the crease between her lips and begged entry. She touched her tongue to his, and it was as if her entire body caught on fire. Her lips danced with his, and she fought to stop what could only end horribly. She wrenched her mouth away. “Stop.”
The madness ceased and Dorian froze. He stared down at her, eyes filled with regret, which she had caused.
She pushed against his shoulders and moved out from under him. “I cannot give you what you want. It is insane to pretend that I can. I’m sorry.”
Lillian grabbed her dress. She stood and pulled the underdress on, then the rest. The heat of his body caressed her back, and his breath tickled her ear. He had not made a sound, yet his presence screamed volumes. Longing for his touch didn’t make it any safer to lead him on. She’d spoken the truth, and wishing for a different world didn’t make it so. Standing very still, she waited for the repercussions.
Anger or disappointment always followed such encounters even if carried out to their natural conclusion. She was not naïve. The soft caress of his fingers along her exposed neck and the most tender touch of his lips to her sensitive skin was the last thing she expected. “I am a very patient man, Lilly. I do not mean to rush you.”
Nothing good came of believing in the impossible. Her continued association with this strange man was messy and messy might get her killed, or worse, hurt. She stepped away and faced him. “I brought you here for only one purpose, my lord. If you could have left it at that, we would both be satisfied now. You should not have complicated matters.”
His expression remained calm, too calm. Stepping forward, he touched her cheek. “Life is complicated. Sex when one cares for the other person is complicated. You cannot change human nature.”
Deception Page 6