Thoughts, good and bad, swirled through her head, spinning like flashing lights on a runaway merry-go-round.
Confused, so confused.
Tonight, when Harry held her in his arms, it ... it ... was like coming home again. Just his touch made her feel safe and warm. He was her Harry.
Harry!
Was now the time to admit that ending their relationship had messed up her life even more, sending her off into nowhere land?
All I wanted was to protect him from Dominick. Protect him from the sadness of not having children. Protect him from ... me.
Long, slow moments passed as she soaped herself, let the water flow over every part of her as it washed away the foaming suds.
Am I that controlling? Do I think I can plan his life for him, decide what will give him peace of mind? Damn. Only idiots think like that ... idiots like me. Fix other people’s lives? I can’t even fix my own.
She needed to let go, accept that Harry could make his own decisions about what he wanted to do with his life.
Isn’t that what Vinnie has been trying to tell me?
It may have been stupid to marry Dominick, but maybe it’s even more stupid to not marry Harry.
And dating Brad?
All I’ve done is muddy the situation by bringing him into this whole mess.
Yes, he was attractive, intelligent, and understanding, enough so that she should have been able to forget her problems and immerse herself in sex. It hadn’t worked.
Gina stepped out of shower, dried herself, and hoped that flu-ish feeling would disappear. She was better, but still not her usual self. Her muscles were achy and she felt like she was coming down with something.
She wrapped herself in a terrycloth robe, slipped her feet into a pair of fuzzy slippers, and shuffled into the kitchen to put on water for a cup of chamomile tea. Maybe it would help her sleep.
Tuva curled around her ankles and meowed, letting her know her cat food bowl was empty. She also needed to give the poor thing some fresh water.
When the tea kettle gave its little chirp, she poured the boiling water over a tea bag and let it steep for a moment. She took the cup, sat down on the sofa, and picked up her cell phone. She allowed the phone to drop into her lap without making a call.
The apartment was silent. Too silent.
Nothing’s going to change unless I do something about it. Moping around isn’t going to do a damn thing for me.
She sipped the soothing tea, ran her fingers through her damp curls, and picked up the phone again. Before she could dial, Tuva jumped up into her lap. Once the cat was settled, she called Vinnie. He picked up on the first ring.
“Hi, Vinnie.”
“Hi, Sis. How you doing?”
“Not so great.” Hearing her brother’s voice brought tears to her eyes. “You know, Vin, I’m really an idiot.”
“Yeah? I’ve known that for a long time ... but I love you anyway.”
“I’ve sent Harry away and I don’t know how to get him back again ... or even if I should try.”
“What’s going on in that spaghetti-for-brains head of yours? I’m supposed to be the fucked-up one. Harry’s nuts about you and you know it. Why do you keep pushing him away? And, what’s up with Dr. Brad?
“It was a mistake ... that’s all it was.” Gina kept dabbing at the tears that wouldn’t stop. “I just didn’t want to ruin Harry’s life.”
“Well, you’re doing a helluva job of that anyway. You couldn’t make it much worse.”
“You don’t get it ... Harry doesn’t get it. No one seems to understand that Dominick is going to kill me if it’s the last thing he does because he thinks I messed up his life. And you know as well as I do that one way or another, that’s what he’ll do. What eats me alive is that Harry will be a target, too, if we’re together.”
“Yeah, so what?” Vinnie was laughing so loud Gina had to hold the receiver away from her ear. “You listen to me, big sister ... fuck Dominick! Harry’s not a wimp; he knows how to take care of himself. Face it: The one you’re worried about is you.”
“I didn’t know you had such a great opinion of me.” Gina wanted to fling the phone across the room, never talk to her brother again.
“Just trying to shake you up.” Vinnie waited a tick. “What’s the real reason, Gina?”
She felt like someone had crushed her chest. The words were jammed inside. “You know I can’t have children.”
“You’re not back on that again, are you?”
“Harry loves kids and it would be a miracle if I could ... could have a baby.”
“Always trying to take control. Jeez, Gina, I bet you think the world would stop turning without you. Get a grip, will you?”
“I’m only trying to do what’s best for Harry.”
“Bullshit! Again, you’re only trying to do what’s best for Gina.”
“Damn it, Vinnie, I am not that self-centered.”
“Maybe not, but in some ways you’re a typical nurse—think that if you do everything just right, you can save someone. You can’t out-think destiny.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Gina said.
“It means stop over thinking every decision you make, every step you take. That’s why you trip and fall flat on your face.”
Gina started sobbing, she couldn’t stop.
“Come on, Sis. You know sometimes I have to conk you on the head to get you to understand what’s real.”
“I don’t know, Vin. All I know is I feel so lost ... lost without him.”
“Well, if you really want to find him again, he’s right here with us.”
Chapter 32
Gina couldn’t stop moving. She was pacing around her living room, agitated and restless. She stopped, stared at the purple couch she and Harry bought at a garage sale. She remembered how much fun they’d had finding it, and then getting it home.
A replica of Rodin’s The Kiss sat on the coffee table. It began to haunt her.
She and Harry would sit in the same position as the sculpture, wisecracking, pretending to be the couple Rodin had used as models. It usually ended up with them in the sack, doing a lot more than kissing.
The phone interrupted her reverie.
“Damn it,” she muttered. It was Jenni. She let it ring a few more times, not sure if she wanted to talk to her. But in the end she picked up just before it went to message mode.
“Listen, Jenni—”
“—In my fridge!” Jenni shouted. “What should I do ... a bloody dead rabbit ... he came into my apartment—”
“—Calm down, Jenni.” Gina plopped down into the sofa. “Tell me what happened.”
“I came home...and...”
Gina could hear her taking long, slow breaths, trying to calm herself.
“...I knew something was off ... but I was tired and upset. I didn’t really pick up on it.”
There was a long pause.
“Go on, Jenni.”
She sobbed into the phone, trying to get the words out. “I ... I opened the fridge and there it was―a dead ... a dead rabbit. It was smeared in blood. The whole inside of the fridge is covered with blood.”
“Okay, okay. Sit down and wait for me. I’ll get dressed and be right there. No more than twenty minutes.”
“Hurry!”
“Have you called the police?” Gina said.
“I ... I—”
“—Never mind. I’ll take care of it.” She spoke calmly and softly to Jenni, like talking to an injured child. Gina wasn’t sure she was getting through. “Did you hear me, Jenni?”
“Yes, I’ll just wait for you to come.”
* * *
A familiar gruff voice answered Gina’s phone call. She knew she’d just awakened him.
“Hi, Mulzini?”
There was a long pause before the SFPD Inspector answered. “Gina ... Gina Mazzio? Is that you?”
“None other.”
“Must be near a year since I last heard from you,” he said. �
�And, of course, you must be in some kind of mess again, because that’s the only time I hear from you.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Don’t tell me you’ve lost your sense of humor. Besides, how did you get my home number? That sergeant is in for a pop on the chin—”
“—Before you get all crazy, he didn’t give it to me. You did ... a long time ago ... and you told me to call you anytime.”
“Me and my big mouth.”
“One of the nurses I work with was staying with me because someone had been stalking her.”
“Isn’t that nice. Now he has two women to stalk,” Mulzini said in a sour voice.
“Anyway, she went back to her apartment tonight, opened her refrigerator, and found a dead rabbit inside, covered with blood.”
“Heck, she should have gutted and stuffed the damn thing. She could have had it for dinner.”
“She’s not going to appreciate your gallows humor, Mulzini. She’ll definitely freak out if you say something like that to her.”
“You forget, Gina, I’m a sensitive guy. Would I say something like that to someone I don’t know?” He laughed into the phone. “Well, maybe something like that.”
“Would it be too much to ask you to meet me at her apartment? She needs to feel someone in authority is on her side.”
“Don’t we all?”
* * *
Gina, Mulzini, and Jenni stared at the gruesome rabbit inside the refrigerator.
“I’ve got to get out of here,” Jenni said, her face white on white.
“Why don’t we all go back in the living room,” Gina said. “I’ll put on water for some tea.” The refrigerator scene had left her stomach feeling unsettled.
In the living room Gina and Mulzini sat on a sofa across from Jenni.
“So this Russell guy, what makes you think he did this?” Mulzini said. “And even if he did, maybe it was just some kind of prank. Did he have a key? I mean, there’ no evidence of a break-in. ”
“Absolutely not,” Jenni said.
“And a dead animal for a prank?” Gina said. “That’s sick.” The tea kettle began to whistle. She got up, went into the kitchen, and fixed three cups of mint tea.
“Russell hates me,” Jenni blurted. Her hand was shaking so much she almost spilled her tea as she lifted the mug to her lips.
“Come on, Jenni, do you really think he’d do something like this?” Gina said.
“Yes!” Jenni’s face turned a bright red. “That man tried to rape me a couple of years ago.”
“What!” Gina stared at Jenni, her mouth hanging open. “You never said a word.”
“Did you report it?” the Inspector asked.
“I did. But we were out in the woods and I had to take his car to get away. He reported the car stolen and the police acted as if that was more important than the attempted rape.”
Mulzini kept nodding, but said nothing.
“So it was something more than your calling him Russ instead of Russell.” Gina’s voice was harsh. “I always thought that sounded lame.”
“I wanted to forget about it, be done with it.”
Gina took a sip of her tea. She could tell Mulzini was just being polite when he reached for a sip. When the tea hit his lips, that was the end of that. He set the cup on his coaster. It was plain he wasn’t returning for more.
“So, Gina, have you picked up any vibes from this lab guy?” he said.
“Before this, I only thought there was something weird about the way he acted around patients. He may be good at his job, but he’s obviously a creep.
“Are you staying here tonight, Jenni?” Mulzini asked.
Jenni looked at Gina with pleading eyes.“Heck, no,” Gina said. “She’s coming back home with me.”
“Good,” he said. “We’ll get our CSI people to see if they can pick up any kind of evidence that he was in your apartment. And if you want, I can arrange for one of the clean-up crews to come in. It’ll cost you, though.”
“I don’t care,” Jenni said. “I can’t go in the kitchen again ... not with all that blood.”
“Isn’t that what nurses do?” Mulzini said with a wry smile. “Don’t you clean up messes like that all the time?”
Gina leveled her worst glare at him. “You really are a caveman, Mulzini.”
“Yeah, but right now I’m the only caveman you’ve got.”
* * *
Russell had just finished sanding down two bone segments. He didn’t like the way they came out.
The bone was porous and chalky. He swore he’d never use Eddy again as a source. But it was not going to be a snap to find someone else who worked in a funeral home, someone he could trust. Maybe he’d have to go back to using deer bones.
The door buzzer rang.
Who the hell’s that?
He never had visitors other than when he had an appointment to sell his custom-made bone handles.
He started for the front door, stopped, then turned around and scooped the bones into the table drawer. He bent over, blew the fine bone dust off of the table.
The buzzer sounded again. This time, whoever was out there kept a finger down until Russell could no longer stand the sound. “Awright, awright, awright! I’m on my way, damn it!”
He flung the door open. A man stood there holding a wallet with a SFPD shield showing. The hair around Russell’s neck stood up and with it came a chilling breeze across the back of his head.
They stood there staring at each other. Finally, the man said, “Are you Russell Thorpe?”
“Yeah, that’s me.”
“My name is Mulzini. SFPD.”
“Mulzini?”
“Yeah, that’s all I’m ever called. I know it’s late, but do you mind if I step in for a moment?”
Shit, this has got to be about the rabbit.
Russell hesitated.
“Hey, I’ll be in and out in no time,” Mulzini said, edging through the doorway.
Russell stepped back out of his way.
“I always liked these studio apartments,” Mulzini said. He moved to the sofa. “Bet you pay a pretty penny to live in this neighborhood.”
“Pretty penny?” Russell mumbled.
Mulzini sat down. “Oh, you know, one of those expressions that went out in the nineteen hundreds ... in other words, you pay a lot of rent, right?”
“Rent control. It’s not too bad,” Russell said.
“Uh, huh. Why don’t you sit down. It’s murdering my neck to keep looking up at you.”
Russell sat down at the other end of the sofa.
“You know a nurse named Jenni Webb?”
“Yeah. She’s one of the nurses at Ridgewood Hospital where I work.”
Mulzini stretched his legs out in front of him. “Yeah, you know her all right. She the one you tried to rape?”
“That’s her story,” Russell snapped. “She could never prove it.”
“Yeah, yeah. So tell me, you don’t like her, do you?”
“Not one of my favorites.”
“Why is that, Russ?”
“It’s Russell, not Russ.”
“Yeah, that’s what Jenni says. Claims you’ve been following her around lately, just because she calls you Russ.” Mulzini snickered. “Sounds pretty stupid to me. Probably hate her because you couldn’t get into her panties. Now that, I can believe.”
“Seems to me it’s only polite to call people by the name they want to be called. Is that too much to ask?”
“Seems that it is.” Mulzini was checking out the apartment. His eyes were everywhere, finally resting on the floor around the kitchen table. “I kind of like the name Russ.”
“Well, I don’t.”
“Does it make you mad enough to stash a dead rabbit in Jenni’s fridge?”
Russell laughed. “Why would I do that when I could easily dress it and eat it myself?”
“Now you see, Russell. That was exactly my thought. Why waste it on trying to scare someone.”
“So did it scare her?” The words just slipped out; he couldn’t help himself.
“Uh, huh.” Mulzini rubbed his face with the palms of his hands. “So, you’ve been stalking Jenni Webb?”
“No! We’ve ended up in the same place at the same time. But I wasn’t stalking her.”
“How’d you get into her apartment, pick her lock?”
Russell stood.“I didn’t do anything. Now get out of here and leave me alone.”
Mulzini stood also. “Okay, man. I’ll leave you alone.”
They both walked to the door. Russell opened it quickly.
“Just remember, I’ve got my eye on you,” Mulzini said as he stepped through the doorway.
Chapter 33
Gina couldn’t believe that this was the same Ridgewood Hospital. It was the same building, but it didn’t look anything like the place where she’d worked for several years.
There were people lined up everywhere trying to get into the facility for medical help.
Right now, there was a huge line outside of the ER and it snaked around a tent that had been set up for triage. Several police cars were at the curb and officers were wandering among the crowd.
It looked more like a Civil War battlefield, with everyone needing immediate medical attention.
“Is this for real?” Jenni blurted.
“Hard to believe. I mean, we all knew there was the possibility of a massive outbreak. Especially if the CDC vaccine didn’t match up with the current flu bug. Well, guess what? There was another report this morning that this latest vaccine is definitely not a match for the virus that flooding the city.”
“This is horrible,” Jenni said.
“I’m glad I’m back on the unit today,” Gina said. “Triage wasn’t nearly this bad yesterday; at least we were in the building. Things have really escalated and I don’t envy the nurses in that tent, having to sift though all these people, decide who gets immediate care.”
The two of them crossed in front of the line, trying to get to the hospital entrance. Jenni took hold of Gina’s arm and squeezed. “They all look really sick ... and scared.”
Almost everyone was coughing or sneezing or both, some right into the faces of aides who were handing out masks.
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