by Nana Prah
“But he’d have missed the beauty of loving and being loved by the one person who probably knew, understood, and loved him better than any other person in the world. If you don’t take the pain of love, you can’t harvest the joy.” Grandma went to the bookshelf and plucked down a black and white picture of her and her husband taken on their wedding day. “I enjoyed every moment I spent with your grandfather, even the irritating times. The pain I felt when he died was unlike any I’d experienced in my life. I felt a deep hollowness I thought would never be filled. But even at my lowest times, I never regretted loving him.
“If I could go back in time to the day I met him at the grocery store, even knowing I would feel such heartache later, I would still allow him to talk to me, court me, and then marry me, making me mostly deliriously happy, but sometimes foot-stomping mad.” Grandma’s grin was wide. “That man knew how to get on my nerves and under my skin better than any other human being alive. The power of love is stronger than any other thing in the world,” she concluded. “Now back to your daydreams. They sound awfully real. The way you tell them, it seems as if you lived them.”
“Carly said the same thing. There’s one more thing. I know who the medicine man and the prisoner were.”
Grandma nodded. “Sean.”
Chapter 10
Jasmine bolted upright as her jaw dropped open. “How did you know?”
“You forget that I’m a wise old bird. I’ve never known you to faint, not even after running on an empty stomach. The moment you looked at him that day, you said, ‘Cuauhtemoc.’”
Jasmine slapped a hand to her chest in an attempt to keep her heart in its place.
“Oh, my goodness. That was the medicine man’s name. It means descending eagle. The female warrior’s name was Citlalmina, meaning shooting star. How did you connect the two?”
“Let’s get back to these daydreams. I don’t think that’s what they are.”
Inexplicably nervous about what her grandmother would say, Jasmine picked up a throw pillow and squeezed it. “What are they?”
“We’d have to do more research, but I think you’re experiencing glimpses of your past lives.”
“Pardon me?”
“You heard me.”
For the briefest moment, Jasmine thought to deny it, but decided to go with the truth, no matter how weird it sounded. “The same thing ran through my mind, but I thought it was too crazy to believe.”
“Why?”
“It reminds me of something that would happen in science fiction, not real life.”
“There are a lot of things occurring in this world we don’t understand.”
Jasmine clutched the pillow harder. “Have you ever experienced anything like this?”
“Once.” Grandma’s eyes glazed over. “Right before I met your grandfather. I had this vision about a man I had loved intensely. It wasn’t as clear or detailed as your experiences. I got more of the feelings than the actions. When I first saw your grandfather, I knew he was the same man from my vision.”
“Wow. How come you never told me this before?”
Grandma canted her head. “Would you have believed me?”
“Urm...no.”
“Well, there’s your answer. You were a warrior in two of your lives, a prison guard, and a take-risks-to-get-the-bad-guy sheriff. That’s interesting.”
“Yeah, interesting,” Jasmine said dryly.
“Don’t you get the connection to your current life?”
Jasmine stared at her grandmother for a minute and then it hit her like an avalanche. How could she have not realized it earlier? “I have continued the warrior theme into this life.”
“Bingo. You’re an excellent fighter. Frighteningly so.”
“But I also have this gift of comforting people.”
“I can only speculate about the connection, but as a prison guard you had absolutely no compassion, not even for your true love. Perhaps you’re here to learn to be compassionate,” Grandma stated.
Jasmine slapped her hands over her face in shame. “Oh, my goodness. If this is true, then I treated Sean horribly.” Her bottom lip trembled “I can’t believe how much pain I put him through when I rejected him at the prison camp.”
“It’s okay, sweetheart. That was the past. The present is now.”
“But...”
“But what?”
“I was so selfish, rule bound, and cold hearted.” Her voice quivered.
“Are you any of those things now?”
“Maybe a little with the rules, but not with the selfishness. I’m definitely not cold hearted, unless I’m fighting.”
“Well, there you go. You seem to be a better person in this life than in the previous one.”
“That’s presuming any of this is real, which I’m not completely buying.”
Grandma shrugged.
“Still,” Jasmine said, “if any of this is true do you think Sean remembers, too?”
“I don’t know.”
“He says he feels as if he’s being punched in the stomach when he initially sees me.”
“Hmmm, that’s interesting.”
“Would you care to expound?”
Grandma pointed a finger at her. “You caused him anguish by rebuffing him and even dying in one of your lives. Perhaps he’s feeling the residual effects of it now as a physical manifestation.”
“Great.” Jasmine threw her hands up and let them flop down into her lap. “The one guy I’ve liked in a long time and I cause him physical pain carried over from the severe emotional damage I caused him in a past life. Fantastic!”
Grandma ignored her mini tantrum. “Do you merely like him?”
She didn’t hesitate with her answer. “I love him, Grandma, and I’m scared.”
She smiled. “What are you afraid of, sweetheart?”
“Of him not loving me and leaving me.”
“Is that all?”
“Who are you, Dr. Phil?” Jasmine asked.
“Sometimes, I forget how much of a smart ass you can be. Answer the question.”
Jasmine drew in a deep breath. “I’m afraid of hurting him. Not physically, but emotionally. I couldn’t stand for him to be hurt. It would be like hurting myself.”
“Is it your intention to hurt him?”
“Of course not.”
“Then you won’t. You’re different from who you once were. You’ve changed and become compassionate, caring, generous, flexible, and open. You have many things to share with the young man, but I don’t think emotional pain is one of them.”
“Are you sure?”
“Only if you are.”
Jasmine relaxed into the couch. “How did you know Sean was the Aztec man in my daydream?”
“After you called out that word before fainting, I was curious about it so I looked it up on the internet. It was an Aztec name. I didn’t connect it until you mentioned about the Aztecs just now, but then it made perfect sense.”
“Oh.” She had some thinking to do, but things seemed to be getting a little clearer. Jasmine pulled her grandmother into a hug. “Thanks you.”
“Anytime, baby. Anytime. Now tell me about this whooping you gave to those punks who broke into your parents’ house.”
“I already told you about it.”
“Yeah, but not face to face. I want to see the actions.” She gave fake punches to the air, making Jasmine laugh.
***
“You spent a lot of time in town.” Jasmine’s smile was radiant as Sean walked through the door and he felt his heart turn over.
“I took a walk. The air is so clear up here. I took the opportunity to purge my lungs from the pollution of the city. Plus, you two needed a chance to talk.” He noticed her eyes were red rimmed as if she’d been crying.
He wanted to be the one she confided in and the shoulder she cried on, just like that time in the woods. But instead of going to her, he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.”
The three of them made lunch after a couple hours of chatting. Everything felt so right. Grandma was in her usual form and kept them entertained with her stories. She made Sean tell her about some of his adventures around the world.
Before he knew it, they were in their coats ready to head back to Boston before rush hour to avoid sitting in traffic.
“I miss you already,” Jasmine said as she squeezed her grandmother.
“You too, baby.”
Grandma whispered in his ear when she hugged Sean. When he stepped back, he nodded and said goodbye.
The return trip to Boston was quiet, but comfortable. Jasmine appeared to be lost in thought. Sean placed his hand over hers. She looked at him and turned her hand to clutch his.
He focused on driving, trying not to be too distracted with her small soft hand resting in his.
At her apartment, she invited him in. “Would you like something to drink?”
“After all the food your grandmother shoveled into me? I don’t think I’ll be able to eat or drink for two days.”
“She does have a heavy hand when it comes to food.”
“Elephants have a lighter touch than her.” He wished he could make her laugh all the time. “I have to get going. I have some studying to do.”
“I keep forgetting you’re a student.”
“Only for one more semester after this one.”
“What did my grandmother say to you when we were leaving?”
“She said, and I quote, ‘If you don’t come over for Thanksgiving, I will hunt you down and drag you by your feet from Boston to Vermont.’”
Jasmine laughed. “Grandma has a way with invitations, doesn’t she?”
“And I don’t doubt she’ll follow through on the threat. So I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with you all in Vermont.”
“Don’t you have plans?”
He shelved his hands on her shoulders. “It turns out the travel bug has hit my parents hard this year. They’ll be in Kenya on a safari during Thanksgiving so I have nowhere to go. Your grandmother saved me from a holiday of loneliness and boredom.” He hesitated as a thought came to him. “Unless you don’t want me to be there.”
“It would be nice to have you stuffing your face until you’re about ready to burst with us.”
Their gazes locked. Drawn to her, he pulled in for a hug. He wanted to hold her even closer, to literally become one flesh, but not just in the sexual sense. They shared a connection he couldn’t explain.
Time moved, or it didn’t, as they embraced. He didn’t care. All of his senses were alerted solely to this woman he loved. The thought shocked him, and he pulled back. He’d fallen in love with Jasmine. He shook his head. He didn’t know what to make of it because something about her still made him wary and distrustful.
If it wasn’t for that feeling, he would’ve bent his head to kiss her luscious lips. Would another kiss be as potent as the one they’d shared in the woods?
“I don’t understand what you do to me.” His voice sounded husky to his own ears.
“It’s probably the same thing you do to me.” Her whispered response made his heartbeat quicken.
He sighed and nodded his head. “Since I don’t want to feel like I’m being punched in the stomach anytime soon, can we do something tomorrow after your classes? It would give me the whole day to study.”
Her smile did weird things to his stomach. “I’d like that.”
“How about if I pick you up from here at five?”
“Sure. What will we be doing?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“I don’t like surprises. I’m a plan everything kind of girl, but I’ll make an exception for you.”
“Don’t I feel special?”
She put a hand on her hip. “You can at least tell me what to wear.”
He laughed. “Something sporty.”
“Sporty.”
“Yup.”
“Okay.”
The beauty of her eyes mesmerized him and he couldn’t step away. He inclined his head toward hers and her eyes drifted closed. He was so close he could feel her warm breath on his lips. He rubbed his nose against hers then angled his head and lowered it. With the merest touch of their lips, a shock ran between them, making them jump apart.
“Sorry--I--um--” The words stumbled out of his mouth. What kind of hold did she have over him? “I’d better get going” he said, backing away.
“Okay,” she said slowly and walked him to the door.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I look forward to it.”
I’m a goner, he thought as he drove away.
Chapter 11
“He’s the most wonderfullest man in the whole wide world. No, in the universe. No, in the galaxy. Whichever one is bigger.”
“This sentence just came out the mouth of an articulate woman with a Ph.D. ‘Wonderfullest’?” Carly asked with her eyebrows quirked.
“Yes.” Jasmine sighed. “It’s from the Jasmine Gibson Dictionary of Pseudo English. Did I tell you that after we came back from Grandma’s two weeks ago, he took me roller skating on Saturday night?”
“Yes, you told me, Jas.”
“We laughed the whole time. I haven’t had so much fun with a guy in a long time.”
“What about Ed and Dad?”
“They don’t count and you know it. Why are you being so snippy?”
“I don’t know.” Carly thrust her hands into the air before gripping the steering wheel. “It could be that all you’ve been talking about for the past two weeks is Sean. ‘I went over to Sean’s and hung out with him. Sean and I talk on the phone all the time. Sean surprised me after work and took me to dinner.’”
Jasmine observed Carly as she drove them to Grandma’s the Wednesday before Thanksgiving so they could help cook.
How come she hadn’t noticed that Carly’s face was rounder and her breasts were fuller than usual? Her moodiness gave it all away.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” The car swerved to the right. “Stay between the lines, little sister, we want this to be a happy celebration.”
“But--how--what?”
“Care to pick a sentence and finish it?”
“How did you know?”
“I’ve been envious of your breasts since I was fifteen. They’ve grown bigger, but your little change in attitude was what really gave it away. How far along are you?”
“Almost three months. We wanted to wait until everyone was together to make the announcement.”
“I’m so happy for you. You’ll make the best mother. Kevin will make a fantastic father. And I will be the best aunt. How have you been feeling?”
For the rest of the trip they talked about her pregnancy. When they were almost at Grandma’s, Jasmine asked, “You know she’s going to take one look at you and know, right?”
“I know.”
“Good.”
***
Excellent food, love, and laughter overflowed on Thanksgiving. Once everyone was seated at the dinner table, ready to eat, Carly stood up. “Is it all right if I say the grace this year?”
With no objections, she gave the standard prayer of thanks, deterring only when she said, “And lastly Lord, please protect the baby growing inside of me. Amen.”
Pandemonium erupted as the table shook when everyone jumped from their seats. Jasmine sat back and watched her family shower felicitations and hugs on her sister and brother-in-law.
Jasmine caught Sean gazing at her and smiling. She walked around the table as if going to Carly and stood behind him for a moment, letting her hand rest on his muscular shoulder.
He reached up and touched her hand, making it difficult for her to move away. The threat of merciless teasing urged her to leave his side to offer Carly and Keith her own congratulations.
It turned out to be one of the best Thanksgiving celebrations Jasmine could ever remember.
Grandma made an announcement.
“I know we were supposed to celebrate Christmas at Carly and Keith’s house this year, but I propose we have it here instead.”
Carly waved a hand. “I second the motion!”
“Third!” Mom agreed with a girlish giggle.
“Then it’s settled. We’ll be here for Christmas this year.” Grandma gave a small dance. “Oh, happy day.”
They spent the rest of the time lying around the house like beached whales and never experiencing a moment of hunger.
On Saturday, Sean and Jasmine joined Ed for a ride into town to pick up groceries. With the house being full, Sean and Jasmine hadn’t gotten the chance to be alone very much, but whenever they got the opportunity, even with a chaperone, they pounced on it.
About ten minutes away from the house, Ed applied the brakes, but the car continued to increase its speed down the hill. “What the hell?” He stood on the pedal. “The brakes aren’t working!!”
“The sharp curve is coming up,” Jasmine said, fear resonating in her voice.
If he didn’t slow down to maneuver the curve, they’d end up hitting the guardrail. At the speed they were going, they’d probably go through it and over the cliff.
“Pull up slowly on the emergency brake,” Sean stated.
Ed did as instructed. The tires screeched as the car hugged the curve at a higher speed than recommended. Jasmine’s seat belt pressed against her chest as it prevented her from rolling to the other side of the back seat. Ed maintained control of the car, maneuvering it without throwing them over the edge. The smell of tires filled the interior.
The car descended until it came to a stop on its own in the valley of a small hill. Only heavy breathing could be heard in the car.
“What the hell happened?” Sean demanded.
“I don’t know. The brakes were working fine until we got to the decline and then they were gone. Dammit!”
“That was close. Let’s give a prayer of thanks,” Jasmine suggested.
They each said a silent prayer then got out the car.