by Nana Prah
Taken aback, it took him a moment to recover before he went to her.
He held both her hands. “It’s not that I don’t want to kiss you, Jasmine. I want to very much. Haven’t you felt how I react to you when we hug?”
It was a wonder he’d never thrown her down and made love to her before. He knew sex would be great between them. Everything else just seemed to fit, and he knew without a doubt that the same would be true for their bodies. But he held himself back because he needed more from her than the physical.
She nodded and he almost smiled at the downward cast of her eyes. Miss kick ass, nurse extraordinaire, was shy when it came to talking about sex. At least he thought she might’ve been until he heard her next words.
“But you never try to do anything about it.”
“Is that what you want? A quick roll in the sheets? Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am?” he said, using an old phrase he never thought would come out of his mouth.
She shook her head. “No.”
“I didn’t think so. You’re special to me. I’d like us to take it slowly. Sex tends to complicate issues. I want to get to know you. Do you understand?”
She nodded. “But it isn’t normal. Don’t you want me?”
“More than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my whole life. This is not a normal relationship. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I feel this deep connection with you, as if I’ve known you forever and it...” He dropped his gaze to their joined hands.
“And it what?” she prodded.
“It scares me. I can’t explain it, but I feel as if you’ve hurt me before and I’m afraid of it happening again. I’ve had this feeling ever since I met you. It’s unsettling because I don’t understand why it’s there or what it means, but I can’t seem to get rid of it.” He sighed. “I do know that I’ve never felt like this before about anyone.”
Was that guilt reflected on her face? The expression passed before he could verify.
She placed a hand over his chest. “I would never intentionally hurt you.”
“Let’s give us some time and take it slow. Okay?”
She pulled her hands free and placed them on her hips. “Let me get this straight. For some reason you don’t trust me, but you want to get to know me to see if you can figure it out or if the feeling of distrust will go away?”
“It’s not exactly that I don’t trust you. It’s...well, I can’t articulate it.”
“What if the feeling never goes away?”
“I’m praying it will.”
Jasmine seemed appeased by his answer, and she relaxed her arms at her sides. After a short pause, she said, “We’re dating exclusively, but we won’t be intimate, not even kissing, because you think I’ve hurt you before, but you can’t explain how.”
He groaned. “I know it sounds crazy, but yes.”
“You were going to do this on both of our behalves without talking to me about it?”
He had the humility to be embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to bring it up. Do you agree with what I said?”
“ I agree.” Her smile mesmerized him. “Next time please don’t take it upon yourself to make unilateral decisions when it concerns us.”
He’d been duly chastised, but couldn’t help grinning at his spectacular woman. “I’ll remember for next time.”
“Communication is important, you know?” she continued with a serious tone.
Sean recalled how much his parents discussed everything. “It’s one of the most important aspects of a relationship.”
“Okay.” She nodded. “As long as I know you’re not repulsed by me, I feel better.”
He chuckled. “Repulsed? Jasmine, you’re gorgeous, smart, funny, and enlightening to talk to.”
“Thanks.”
“Just stating the facts. Any for me?”
“Other than being so handsome you take my breath away and I’ve never met a guy who I can talk so freely with. You’re a man of strong faith, integrity, and intelligence. You make me laugh until my sides hurt. You’re willing to go into an unknown fight with me to protect me and you give the best hugs in the world. Nope, no facts about you.”
His heart filled with pride as he grinned. “Wow. All that?”
“And more.”
“Now that my ego is inflated to maximum capacity, I have to go study. Do you feel better?”
“Yes, it’s all clear now.” Jasmine walked him to the door where they shared a hug.
“I can’t believe I’m dating such a wonderful woman. I must’ve been a great man in a previous life,” Sean joked, but Jasmine’s eyes widened as she held onto the doorpost. “Are you all right? Are you getting lightheaded?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Now you’re holding something back from me.”
“Do you believe in past lives?”
“I haven’t thought about it. I’ve experienced so much in my travels around the world that I wouldn’t be surprised if it existed. Do you?”
“The thought about coming back and making your soul better is appealing. At the same time it could be painful, especially if you hurt someone else in a past life and met them again in another.”
A chill clambered down Sean’s spine. There was something more to this conversation, but he couldn’t pinpoint it. He wanted to stay and talk with her about it, but he had to get back to studying. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. It was nothing but a friendly kiss, but he felt the shock of it straight down to the soles of his feet. Jasmine looked just as affected. “I--” He cleared his throat. “I have to get back to the books.”
“Enjoy studying.”
He’d rather kiss her until they were both dizzy. Drawing upon his willpower, he turned and walked to his car.
Chapter 13
Ed and Sean threw a celebratory party after finishing their final exams, allowing Jasmine to meet some of Sean’s friends. One of those don’t-miss opportunities a girl has got to take advantage of when it comes her way.
“Danny, meet my girlfriend, Jasmine. Jasmine, this is Danny.”
It had been a while since she’d experienced the unsettling lightheaded sensation. This time, she reveled in it as Sean introduced her as his girlfriend for the first time. She barely restrained herself from dragging him to each of his friends for an introduction.
At one point during the evening, Jasmine leaned against a wall across the room and observed him talking to a couple of his female guests while sipping on a beer. Jasmine pushed herself to a full standing position when an uncharacteristic spark of jealousy flared. One woman had stepped in way too close to Sean as she touched his arm and batted her fake eyelashes.
Her sweet Sean squelched the envy rising up by plucking her hand off of him and ending his conversation with the group, leaving the woman to pout after him.
“Ha,” Jasmine muttered and smiled.
Sean’s friend Luke asked her to dance to a hip-hop song she’d been bouncing her upper body to so she allowed him to lead her to the improvised dance floor.
“So you’re the special woman who’s hooked Sean. I’m impressed.”
Sean had mentioned Luke’s forthright nature so the comment didn’t surprise her too much. “Thank you.”
“Sean’s been pretty much of a loner for the past couple of years.”
Her interest level rose. “I see.”
“He’ll probably kill me for telling you this, but I’ve never seen him react to anyone like he does to you.”
What did he mean by react? Rather than ask, Jasmine responded with, “He’s a good man.”
“One of the best.”
Another hip-hop song played and by mutual agreement they stayed on the floor.
Jasmine changed the topic. “What do you do for a living?”
Luke told her about his computer programming business throughout the song.
The music had changed to a slow jam when Sean came over to them. “Mind if I cut in?”
Luke threw his shoulders back. “Of
course I do. I’m dancing with a beautiful lady.” His smile lightened the words. “But since she’s your woman, I’ll let it slide this time. It was nice talking to you, Jasmine.”
“You, too, Luke.”
Her body hummed with excitement at Sean’s nearness when he took her into his arms and guided her to the rhythm of the music.
“You’re a good dancer,” he said.
“Thank you. You are, too.”
Without warning Sean took the hand he held and twirled her twice before pulling her flush against his body. Exhilarated, Jasmine blinked up at him. “Do you spend a lot of time watching Dancing with the Stars?”
She’d never dated anyone who could lead her on the dance floor. She blamed this on her tendency to always want to take charge. David never slow danced with her because of this tiny quirk.
Sean had no problem filling the role of lead dancer, but what surprised her most was that she didn’t mind relinquishing control to him. He laughed. “No. I took dance lessons when I was younger.”
“Your mom made you take dance lessons, but wouldn’t let you take karate? Did they want a girl?”
“Very funny. They threw a lot of parties and wanted me to be able to blend in.”
Sean pulled her close and dipped her back, rolling her around from right to left while their hips cuddled. When he brought her back up to face him, her skin was on fire. “Remind me to thank your parents for those dance lessons.”
“I’ll be sure to do that. You spent a lot of time talking with Luke.”
“Are you jealous?”
“I know Luke, and he probably bored you to tears talking about computers.”
She laughed. “I was never so happy to see you when you cut in.”
She moved a little closer, put her head on his shoulder, and sighed. Life couldn’t get any better than that moment. Awareness flooded her and she accepted it for what it was--the knowledge of their souls as one, mixed with a tinge of lust. Okay, a lot of lust.
When the song ended, he touched her cheek and her stomach did a crazy somersault. There was no one in the room other than them. Someone bumped into Sean, pulling them out of their exclusive world. The party revelers had formed a Soul Train dance line and she and Sean were in the way.
They joined the line on opposite sides. She laughed as she did the Roger Rabbit when her turn came.
By the time one o’clock in the morning rolled around, there were only a handful of people left to clean up.
“Where’s Carly? I expected her to be here,” Sean asked.
“It took you all night to notice?”
He winked. “I was too preoccupied with the most beautiful woman at the party to notice much of anything else.”
Jasmine dipped her head to hide her smile. “Kevin had the night off so she spent it with him.”
The cleaning didn’t take long with the seven of them pitching in and, when they were done, they lounged in the living room, exhausted.
“Thanks for helping me clean up everyone,” Ed said.
“No problem, man.” Thomas, one of their classmates held up a fist of solidarity. “Awesome party.”
“Great stress reliever,” added Georgina, another classmate. “That was a hell of a semester.”
“Bradley shook his head. “I think this one was the worst.”
“No. First semester topped them all. We didn’t know anything and we didn’t even know we didn’t know.” Quinton’s remark elicited laughter from everyone.
“Do you remember Professor Lambert’s class?” Lucile asked.
A collective groan went through the room. The conversation moved into their teachers and experiences during the past two and a half years.
Sean wrapped an arm around Jasmine’s shoulders. “You must be bored. You don’t know any of the people we’re talking about.”
“Not at all. Your friends are cool and the stories are funny.”
“They were impressed with you.”
“Really?”
“Almost as much as me,” he whispered into her ear.
Jasmine giggled.
“Is that funny?”
“No, your breath tickled.”
“Oh, really?” He blew into her ear, expecting the same response.
She didn’t laugh. His breath sent tingles down her spine and she gave a low moan of desire.
“Umm--I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to--I mean...”
“It’s all right. It’s bound to happen every once in a while, right?”
“It happens quite often to me.”
She gazed into his eyes. “Me, too.”
Jasmine caught the pillow someone threw at Sean.
“Whoa.” David pointed at Jasmine. “She wasn’t even looking.”
Sean smiled. “Don’t you know she’s like Buffy?” He winked at Jasmine.
“Who’s Buffy?” Georgina asked.
“Please don’t get him started,” Ed said and changed the topic by asking everyone’s plans for Christmas break.
Sean told the group he’d be heading home to Arizona for a couple of days, but would spend Christmas in Boston because his parents would be traveling to Italy.
Jasmine listened with half an ear as the others stated their Christmas plans. She should’ve guessed he’d be going to see his parents. Still, it stung that they hadn’t discussed it.
The small party disbanded ten minutes later.
Sean placed a hand at the small of Jasmine’s back as they said goodbye to the guests. “Are you ready?”
“Sure. Are you all set here, SB?”
“Thanks to you, all my place is spotless.”
She hugged her brother. “I’ll talk to you later. Stay safe.” She jerked her chin toward his current girlfriend. “In all ways.”
“No problem, Sis. Should I give you the same advice?”
I wish there was a cause to. “No need, but thanks.”
A couple blocks outside of Ed’s apartment Jasmine asked, “How come you didn’t tell me you were traveling to see your parents?”
He glanced at her for a second before focusing on the road. “I was trying to screw up the courage.”
“It takes courage to tell me you’re going to Arizona?”
“No, babe. I had trouble finding the right way to ask you to come with me.”
She had no idea which of the two wonderful things made her stomach flip. The babe or the invitation to meet his parents.
“Of course. I’d love to go with you.”
He blinked and turned to look at her. “Really?”
“Yes, sweetheart. I’d love to meet your parents,” she told him, adding the endearment, which had been sitting on the tip of her tongue for the past few weeks.
He grinned. “You called me sweetheart.”
“You called me babe.”
Not wanting to leave him when they’d reached her home, she asked, “Do you want to come in?”
“I’d better go home. I’m knackered.”
“Knackered?” She laughed. “When did you become English?”
He chuckled. “We have this one English guy in our class I hang out with. I must’ve picked it up from him.”
“Knackered,” she repeated, still laughing. “That’s too funny.”
Her laughter ceased when he leaned into her and kissed her. She closed her eyes and savored the feel of his lips gliding across hers and then nibbling. She kissed him back, knowing it had been well worth the wait.
He pulled back and laid his forehead against hers. “I need you to know how much I love you.” She stopped breathing. “Jasmine, I don’t know how to start telling you how much you mean to me. So much, that I feel as if being with you is what heaven is like. A perpetual sense of happiness has filled me since I met you. I love you, Jasmine, with every atom in my existence.”
“Oh, Sean.” She held him tighter. “I love you, too. I feel as if my life really started when we met.”
He kissed her cheek, moved to her nose, then slid back to her lips. “I have to get h
ome.”
“Call me when you get there.”
“Okay.”
Neither of them moved an inch.
“Say it again,” she demanded.
He smirked. “Okay?”
“No.” She wound her arms around his neck.
“I love you, Jasmine Valerie Gibson.”
“I love you, too, Sean Joseph Taylor.”
He crushed her to him, lifting her feet off the ground, and spinning her in a circle. “I wish I could absorb you whole into me where you belong.” He put her down, planted a quick kiss on her lips, and moved away again. “For real now, have a good night.”
“You, too. Have a safe ride and remember to call.”
He turned and lumbered to his car.
Jasmine had never felt so deliriously happy and yet something bothered her.
They hadn’t talked about it since their relationship conversation a few weeks ago, probably because she was a big fat chicken, but she wasn’t sure if Sean trusted her. Did he still think she’d hurt him? If only she could share where his response to her stemmed from. Maybe he wouldn’t think her delusional if she told him what she believed about how she’d hurt him in their past lives.
What can I do about it now? Nothing. My love for him in this life will have to be enough to wipe out the pain of the previous ones.
Doubt reigned, but hope persisted.
Chapter 14
Jasmine and her family will be the death of me. Sean barely restrained the thought from being spoken aloud as he held Jasmine’s hand in a futile attempt to keep her close.
He’d already sensed the change in her. Her alter ego had come out to play.
He felt pity for the two guys, but only for a second.
“Give us your wallet,” the biggest attacker, the one wielding a knife, growled.
Sean was more than willing to hand over his wallet in order to keep Jasmine safe so he reached into his back pocket and pulled it out.
“Throw it down on the ground.”
Sean did as he requested and expected the guy to pick it up, but he didn’t. Sean’s muscles tightened as the man’s lecherous gaze swept over Jasmine’s body.
Energy resonated from her and Sean’s fear for the two idiots skyrocketed.