WE GATHERED OUR POSSESSIONS AFTER breakfast and headed back onto the winding road to the quay where we boarded a small watercraft that brought us out to Ian’s 40 meter yacht. I’d been on week-long adventures and parties on the Matsumoto family yachts. I even owned a ten meter yacht of my own, but Ian’s yacht blew them all away. She was beautiful and designed for comfort and performance. I realized as we came on board that I should have expected a perfect yacht. I was beginning to realize that as Jenna said, it was ‘so Ian.’
As soon as we set foot on the yacht we were greeted by a butler who whisked us away to our rooms, cases in tow. Roman and I had been assigned the same cabin, but there were two beds. Thank heavens for small mercies.
“I am so sorry, Vera, “ Ian said while the butler stowed our gear, “I feel terrible that you don’t have your own cabin, but I had no adjoining cabins and I thought you would want your man nearby in case you needed anything.”
He looked at me from under those heart-skip-a-beat lashes and I melted. I silenced him with a smile and one finger held up.
“Don’t trouble yourself, Ian, the arrangements are perfect.”
Your man? At least I’m not your ‘dog’ anymore. Thanks be for small promotions.
I ignored Roman as Ian smiled and edged closer to me. We were at the rail on the stern of the ship, watching the land grow smaller in the distance. The sun was so bright I had resorted to dark glasses. The blue of the sea set against the azure sky with the white sweeps of the yacht were bold in their contrast. Roman was nearby examining the deck for security weaknesses, no doubt, and everyone else was settling into their berths.
We cruised through the ocean for a few minutes before we moved into the Rimini River. The first time I had been on the ocean I was five years old. I remembered holding Edward’s hand and staring at the water, trying to see beneath it to where he said all the ocean creatures were. I felt myself smile at the memory. Edward, I miss you, I thought.
“You like the ocean,” Ian said. He was very close to me – so close I could feel the hairs on his arm brushing mine.
“I was just remembering my first time on the ocean,” I said wistfully. Ian was silent at that and I glanced up at him. For a moment I saw my own expression mirrored in his.
“Childhood is like a heaven all of its own. We don’t know it while we are there, but life never gets any better than that. Even if we wish to stay we are forced out, never to return.”
He sounded so maudlin that I wanted to say something to comfort him, but what could I say? That was my experience exactly.
Rich kids. You give a new perspective to the word ‘nostalgia’. I’d rather eat my own right arm than return to my childhood. Actually, if I did return I’d probably have to eat my own arm just to survive
Do you have to ruin every moment for me, Roman? I raged. Do you think my mind isn’t hell right now already without you interjecting on anything that might be remotely happy? I was sounding bitter – even to myself. Besides, I don’t think I believe half of your hard-luck past stories. I think you just say all that for shock value.
Believe what you want…you do anyhow.
I wasn’t the only one sounding bitter. I wondered if people started to mirror each other across the channel. It had never happened with Edward and I, but maybe it was because of our age difference. Roman wasn’t as self-controlled as Edward had been.
Ian gazed into my eyes. I think he took my expression as I communicated with Roman to be inner conflict over my childhood or something. Whatever it was, it had prompted a tender look on his face, and I felt myself warm to it.
“It will be ok, Vera. We might not be able to go back, but maybe we can relive the good times. I’ll help you.” He took one of my hands and interlaced our fingers.
I blushed, feeling my heart speed up and a warmth start to build up inside me, but I was spared the awkwardness of answering by a rallying cry from Justin who had just come up on deck. He tossed his long wavy hair back and was tying it into a knot.
“What ho, good friends? Who’s up for a little hydrosurfing?”
Roman snorted into the channel, Seriously? ‘What ho?’ Is that how you rich kids are talking these days?
“I never asked,” I said to Ian, “but what is hydrosurfing?”
Ian and Justin exchanged an unreadable look, and then Justin replied.
“Ambassador, let me present to you one of the most enjoyable sports in the known galaxy: hydrosurfing. In essence, it is a battle against the elements and the true test of physical courage. Jack may be at pro-level, but I take the trophy when it comes to personal flare.”
I was willing to give him that without even seeing the sport. Justin was all flair.
The others were pouring onto the deck now, sporting swimwear. I felt Roman slide in beside me. He was paranoid, as usual. Apparently that was bred into my guards like meat-eating into a Tyrannosaurus.
“Let’s show our guest a round or two and then she can decide for herself if she is ready,” Justin said with a perfect white grin. Seriously, with all these model-perfect guys around Roman was starting to look downright homely. I wondered if I was, too. I think I’m a beautiful girl, in an intense, Old-Earth Asian way, but I really couldn’t hold a candle to these girls…which led to a fascinating question: why was Ian so interested in me? Gretchen and Jenna clearly doted on him. I seemed like a weak third prize.
Justin was hydrosurfing within minutes and what he said about danger became obvious.
Hydrosurfing involved skimming over the water with a hoverboard. It would be easier than wind surfing if it was left at that, but Justin was pulling stunts at every opportunity. By killing the hoverfan at the right moment he would catch the tip of a wave and use it to propel him into a flip or a spin, only re-engaging the hoverfan at the last second. At the speeds he was going that was incredibly dangerous. If he was off by even a small amount he would be flipped and thrown off into the speeding water beneath. Broken bones would be the lightest he could hope for. Instant death would be more likely at those speeds and he wore no protective gear, unless you counted that tiny bathing suit as protective gear.
A few minutes into the “fun” a second element was added: Jack. Now the two of them were weaving in and out of each other’s paths, egging each other on to worse and more outrageous stunts. The most recent stunt had Jack hit the nose of a wave, spin sideways, engage the hoverfan when he was perpendicular to the yacht, ride down the yacht’s side parallel to the water, and then do a double flip before engaging the fan again.
“Hey Justin, eat my spray!” Jack called, only half joking.
Justin just grinned and then cut in front of him so closely that I thought he’d hit him for sure. Somehow Jack maneuvered out of it and the two of them were back to outdoing each other’s flips.
My heart was in my throat. There is a cardinal rule among Matsumotos in ambassadorial roles: never let them see you with a yellow belly. If the stunt or sport the locals are playing doesn’t break interplanetary morals or laws and isn’t guaranteed to be life threatening, a Matsumoto must ‘man-up’ and do it. Anything else puts the family and the Empire to a disadvantage. We cannot look like we are unable to compete . To do so, cedes the diplomatic field to the opponent.
This was my second solo mission, and no matter how I had gotten it, no matter what was going to happen when I returned home, I could not give up that tradition. And anyhow, the wry section of my mind thought, I might be executed two weeks from now anyhow, so if I die hydrosurfing, at least I’ll go out looking like a someone instead of a traitor and a disgrace. To these people, I’ll just be a gutsy diplomat who took one for the sport. I could die like that.
I can’t allow you to try that sport. It poses a distinct threat to your well-being.
I guess Roman hadn’t been taught the traditions.
This one’s not up to you
It sure as eternity is up to me!
I could feel a fight coming on and as gratifying of an emotional release as
that might be right now, I couldn’t spare the time or energy. I headed him off.
Sorry, Roman, but this time it really isn’t. Matsumoto tradition. Check on your pad, you’ll see I’m telling you the truth. Now excuse me, I have to change.
I flashed a bold grin at the assembled group and said brightly, “Let me grab my suit!”
The answering cheer was enough to tell me I was on the right track. I headed below to my quarters. I was tying up the last strap on my yellow bikini when Roman entered the room cobra quiet.
“Vera” he hissed, “Forget the damn code. Our mission is important, and it dies with you. Besides, your Empire has done everything in its power to kill you. This is just one more stupid rule designed to keep your cousin as the only one who can lead the Empire.”
“Don’t be stupid. The code is part of the mission,” I said coldly. He might not think much of me, but I could still be trusted to keep the code! I felt myself blush and I leaned in close to Roman and hissed my answer.
“I need to do this, Aldrin. I can’t afford to break the code again, and whether you like it or not, it has to be done. Do you think I want to risk my neck in some stupid sport?”
He looked at me, surprised and taken aback, like he had thought I did want to do this. Idiot. I was so scared I couldn’t get the back tie done up on my bikini top. I covered as smoothly as I could. Licking my lips I whispered fiercely, “Now help me with this tie!” and spun around.
“I don’t know how to do these things,” he said, but I felt his large, blunt fingers fumbling with the tie on my back. They were gentle against my skin, almost like a caress, and he cinched the strap gently like he was afraid of breaking me.
The gentleness scared me. The last thing I could handle right now was compassion. I needed to be tough. I couldn’t let him melt me. I needed to be so hard I’d shatter before I’d melt.
I turned quickly, catching his soft expression. His eyes nearly melted me right there. In them was a depth of understanding that I couldn’t comprehend, and his lips moved like he wanted to say something. Annoying, he might be, but in that moment I could have lost myself in those eyes. I refused to allow it.
“Be careful, Vera,” he breathed, and his breath was warm on my face.
THE EX-PACIFIST: 24
I DIDN’T DARE SPEAK. I just swallowed and nodded curtly, spun on my heel and headed back out the door and on to the deck. I emerged into the bright sunlight once more and adjusted my dark glasses. They had darkened automatically as the sun hit, but I wanted to be sure they were secure before I hit that water. I was going to need every advantage possible if I was going to live through this ‘fun.’
“Are you ready, Ambassador?” Ian asked, laughter in his eyes.
“Bring it on, boys!” I said, bravado masking my terror.
They brought a hoverboard over. Jenna helped show me the controls and showed me how to stand, and Gretchen helped Ian.
“Are you girls going to try?” I asked, trying to distract myself.
Jenna laughed. “I’m crazy, but I’m not insane!”
Gretchen nodded with a snort. Oh great. Looks like I was the only idiot other than those three guys.
“We’ll cheer you on, though!” Gretchen said, pushing back her glorious long curls. Yes, that would be very helpful. Cheering is an effective way to counter the forces of gravity.
“Ready to launch?” Ian asked.
“Ready when you are, sailor,” I responded.
“Then here’s to fighting desperation!” Ian said, and I felt a heavy shove from behind, and I was over the water, hovering at full speed.
I shifted my grip on the hover fan control nun-chuck that Jenna had helpfully tied around my wrist so I wouldn’t lose it. Thank you, Jenna. That was foresight.
I pushed lightly on the accelerator button under my thumb and felt the board spring forward. Touchy. Well, at least just gliding along wasn’t too hard, although I was actually quite afraid of fast moving transportation, especially when you weren’t strapped in and had no helmet or any protective gear.
Beside me I heard Ian whooping with enjoyment and I stole a glance his way. He was in the middle of a three-sixty spin. Great. Just great. I was going to have to do something more than hover directly behind the boat baby-duck style.
With a gasp of breath, I braced myself and spun the controls for a three-sixty, killing the hoverfan just in time. The world spun, and I braced myself even harder as I engaged the fan again.
I was still upright and flying. This was a good thing. On the boat the Capricornians were cheering and waving, and I could just pick out Roman’s profile standing directly in the middle of the stern, arms crossed over his chest.
At that moment Ian zoomed by directly in front of me.
“Show us how it’s done, Vera!” he shouted.
Right behind him was Justin, laughing, and flipping. I bit back a scream, as he cut me off and I had to quickly correct course. We were going so fast that we had to keep looping around to avoid hitting the yacht.
What made Ian’s friends so crazy? Were all Capricornians such daredevils? If so, that might explain why all my new friends had inherited top positions. But there were some older Capricornians, weren’t there? Ian’s dad was in his fifties. Although, now that I came to think of it, Ian’s dad was probably the oldest Capricornian I’d seen. The only Capricornian over thirty-five that I’d seen. I didn’t have time to puzzle over it. Jack went flying in front of me at that moment.
“Come on Vera, let’s see a flip!” he shouted.
I braced myself. It was time. If I could manage this and survive I could gracefully call it quits, I just needed to get it right the first time, because there wouldn’t be another crack at it.
I pulled myself together mentally, judged the wave and accelerated. I was inches from my target, sailing at the right speed and just about to cut the fan, when a frantic voice came over the link.
Left Vera! Now!
I responded before I thought, pulling left and away from the yacht. I caught a glimpse of Justin in front of me, flying through the exact spot I’d been in. I pulled back on the power, settling into a lower speed and choked back a breath.
A loud smack arrested my attention when it rang out over the river and I looked up in time to see Justin hit the side of the yacht at full speed, his head cracking against the swelling curve of the yacht’s side.
He slid into the water leaving a horrible red trail on the side of the stark ship. I hit the accelerator, angling towards him, but Ian was there first.
In seconds Ian was fishing Justin out and hauling him into a stretcher on the side of the boat. He went up right after and I could hear garbled sounds of voices coming from on deck. I had to wait my turn to get on board, they were hauling up Jack next.
What’s happening?
He’s dead. They’re doing some lifesaving things, but it’s too late. He hit his head too hard to survive.
He would know. Guardians were trained on that kind of thing. I felt my mind racing with my pulse, shock already putting a shake in my hands that hadn’t been there thirty seconds before. It had happened so quickly! One minute they were joking and I was trying to work up my nerve, and then next…smack!
Come up carefully, Vera.
He felt tense behind his words. I wondered if he had sensed something strange.
What’s wrong, Roman? Is something happening?
There was a pause before he continued, like he was second guessing himself.
The group feels…strange. Too calm somehow. It reminds me of the calm before a riot…before they turn on you. It was like this in the manufactory right before Julin came to tell us we were all evicted. The men got quiet and then all of a sudden they turned on Julin and beat his head in with their spanners.
I felt a gut wrenching horror. I didn’t know which was worse. The story he’d lived before, or the one we were living right now. I knew I was in shock. It had happened so abruptly, and I felt drenched in guilt. Wherever I went, de
ath followed, like a shadow at the end of a long day. It would never leave me.
I felt panic rising. I felt like just surfing off towards the sea so I wouldn’t have to face what was happening up above. I didn’t want to see Justin. I didn’t want to see Ian. I didn’t want to see their faces, and know that they knew that this was my fault, just like everyone else knew. I didn’t want to be that person again. The panic was rising, hot and tight and I felt it battering my lungs until my breath was short and quick, and swirling in my head until it felt heavy and dark. I was…
VERA!
I shook my head, able to think again now.
Pull yourself together and get up here.
Mechanically, I pulled myself onto the lift and keyed the controls. It rose slowly up the side of the yacht and onto the deck. Roman was beside the lift. He took my hoverboard and tossed it to the side and then tugged me off the lift and slightly behind him, like he was going to be my human shield. I could feel what he meant about the atmosphere.
On the deck in front of me was a scene like the one I had witnessed just weeks ago. Justin was lying on the deck, sprawled and still, a pool of water and blood around his head. The on-board medic, who doubled as the valet, was packing his things away. Everyone else stood huddled around the body in a silent tableau. No one moved. No one spoke. It was like they were waiting.
I stood still, too, unsure what to do. My training had not prepared me for this. The silence lasted maybe five minutes. They dragged like hours. Eventually Ian spoke and his voice was authority.
“Go to your cabins. I’ll deal with this. Come back on deck in one hour.”
They scattered like partridges on a trail, each to their own refuge. Roman and I were the last to go. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Justin until I had to finally turn my back on him to go down the hatch.
I stumbled to our cabin and sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor with my head in my hands. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to think. I felt numb all over and I wanted to cry and to throw up all at once. Was my whole life going to be like this?
The Matsumoto Trilogy: Omnibus Edition Page 13