The sun was breaking through the trees and its golden beams were powerful. I felt the warmth of them run up my back and Ian’s face was suddenly lit with gold as the current took us out of the shadow of one of the leafy trees. The smile on his face was angelic in the morning radiance and his eyes squinted into two slits as he leaned just a fraction closer to me and his lips met mine. I felt their gentle touch and it was like a wave of warmth was washing over me while something flipped in my stomach like a fish on the dock. One of his hands reached up gently and stroked my cheek.
When he pulled back after a very long moment he was still smiling.
“I…” I started to say.
“I know it’s complicated,” he said, “but just think about it.”
I nodded mutely, wanting to say so many things at once that I wasn’t sure where to start, but the moment ended as the other kayaks rounded the corner.
“There you are!” Gretchen called merrily, and Ian raised a hand to wave at her.
I felt that, you know. If you are going to be stupid enough to play kissy games with that sociopath you could at least keep me out of it.
Go away, I said, sulkily, and I felt him flinch in the channel like I’d hit him. A moment’s regret filled me. Roman was pretty much my best friend right now and I didn’t want to hurt him, but his prejudice towards Ian made things even more complicated than they already were.
The next hour was one of the best hours of my life, and I couldn’t help but wonder if Denise had felt the same way when she drifted down this winding river. Jenna and Gretchen had become more animated than usual and were regaling me with tales of one of the ambassadorial trips they had taken with an Ambassador from the original Earth. His shocked responses and general incompetency in a kayak was a source of endless humor to them.
The only thing that elicited no comment from the group was when we passed another one of those burned-out looking towns or whatever it had once been. As Roman had said at the yacht, it looked very recent.
I would have expected that to push Roman into saying something, but he was stonily silent for the remainder of the trip. Clearly he was furious that I told him to go away, but I was too annoyed with him to apologize. He would just have to get over it on his own. He was the one who started it anyways, and he was a fine one to comment on me and Ian. Gretchen hardly left his side and after a while she seemed to be making a game out of trying to cheer him up.
At one point I remarked that this trip seemed pretty docile compared with the rest of the protocols so far, which brought a round of hilarious laughter from the rest of them. I had no idea what that was about, but somehow they found my comment outrageously funny.
After about three hours, the river began to pick up in current. Where before we had been drifting peacefully, now the kayak was racing along. Birds took off out of the water at the first sight of our flotilla and the trees and leafy plants passed by in a blur. I let a finger trail in the water and felt there was quite a bit of force against it.
“Is this normal?” I asked Ian.
“The river is picking up speed,” he replied. Way to state the obvious. He seemed unconcerned, though, so I said nothing more.
The banks of the river were growing steeper and higher. At one point I realized that if we wanted to get out of our kayaks onto dry land we would be very hard pressed to do that now. The boulders at the edge of the water were smooth and slippery and above them the banks had almost become like cliffs. I felt my breath speed up a bit, but I kept my fears to myself. No one else looked worried, and there was no need to look like a coward over nothing but a bit of speed. The ride was still smooth and easy.
At one point I looked back at Roman, to see him eyeing our surroundings with a worried look, but he still hadn’t broken our mutual silence. All conversation had died down to nothing but the occasional joke and the sound of the river seemed really loud bouncing back and forth between the cliffs.
“It seems loud,” I commented. I had to raise my voice to be heard.
“Well, it’s going to get rough up ahead,” Ian said casually, slotting his paddle into holding clips right in front of him and leaning his weight on it. I followed suit, wondering what he was doing. We were still the lead kayak, but I saw the people in the kayaks behind us begin to do the same thing.
“When?” I asked, turned backwards to look into his eyes.
“Now!” he called loudly, and as my stomach dropped I whipped my head around.
We were freefalling through a world of water. Frothy water and spray soaked me in seconds and spattered across my face. My legs were still inside the kayak but below me was nothing but a straight, fast flow of water into a pool beneath that looked way too far away. The roar of the water drowned out my yells and the horrible feeling of falling was making my limbs heavy with fear while my heart hammered in my chest.
We were going to die. This was some terrible mass-suicide attempt and it was going to work. No wonder Denise had never made it back. She was probably dead in the pool right underneath us. She could be a horrible half-decayed skeleton that would reach up and grab us the second we hit that hard water beneath. I screamed with everything in my being, knowing I was going to die and feeling like I was the only one in the entire world of water. The only thing that pierced through my terror was a matching scream in the channel.
VERA!
We hit the water with the bottom of the kayak first. It made a deafening smack when it hit. I felt it filling with water and my legs slipped from their confines and I fell into the water. I kicked frantically, not sure which way was up or down, but desperate to do something. I was panicking. Rational thought was a thing of the past and only survival instincts were available to get me through. Somehow, my lungs had been smart enough to fill before we hit and I had a mouthful of air, but my world was a dark world of green water, air bubbles and terror. Which way to go? Which way? I was completely disoriented. I felt something hit me from behind, knocking the breath out of me and then I saw stars and then nothing.
THE EX-PACIFIST: 28
MY NEXT CLEAR THOUGHT CAME as I was puking up every scrap of anything I had ever eaten. Something soft was under my fingers - mud I thought - and my breath was coming in huge gulps. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, trying to ease the dizziness that had my head spinning so fast. All I could make out was jungle-water-jungle in rapid succession. Someone was shouting over me, and a hand had my collar, but I still couldn’t hear clearly, and my efforts to stand were not a tremendous success.
I hit the side of my head with a palm, dislodging some of the water from my ears and then I could make out Roman’s voice shouting. He was standing over top of me. I hit my head on the other side, clearing the other ear.
“Don’t touch her! You’re not touching her!” he raged. It must be his hand gripping my collar. I reached up, trying to loosen the grip so I could stand.
“Let me help,” Ian was pleading.
“This is your fault, you fool! What kind of psycho sends people over a waterfall in kayaks?!”
I glanced behind me to where the waterfall still roared. It wasn’t the biggest waterfall I’d ever seen. It was probably about forty feet tall, but that was more than enough when you shoot over it in a kayak. In the water the purple and orange kayaks still bobbed gently with their occupants looking on at us in horror. The only part of our red kayak I could see was a tiny piece of shattered shell washed up on the beach beside me. I couldn’t see Roman and Martin’s either, although clearly Roman was fine. I felt a flash of relief. I hadn’t realized how afraid I’d been for him before that.
“It’s not that big a deal,” Ian pleaded, “Everyone’s fine! The kayak wasn’t supposed to break like that, but she’s not hurt!”
“Yeah, she’s fine, because I dove over a waterfall and pulled her to land while you were still laughing and joking in the fricking lily pads.”
He’d done all that for me? Wow, that was guardian to the core. I felt a flash of pride in him and gratitude, to
o. With a sudden burst of energy I clawed my way to my feet and stood beside him.
Roman was dripping wet, his regular jacket missing, and only his jeans and a white t-shirt still on. He was practically quivering with rage, pulled to his full height, chest squared, hands flexed on either side of him, looking up at Ian’s greater height like he meant to do battle then and there.
Ian’s stance, on the other hand, looked like a negotiator trying to talk a mad man off a ledge.
“I’m telling you, Aldrin, it’s no big deal. She’s fine.”
“And I’m telling you Overseer’s son Ian McIsaac, from now on no more of this. No more deaths or near deaths. Anything dangerous gets run by me first and I will veto it if it poses a threat to the health and safety of Ambassador Matsumoto. Do you understand me?”
“Sure. Just calm down, okay?” Ian said to Roman and then turned to me, “You alright, Vera? Bit of a rough tumble there, eh?” he was smiling gently.
I chuckled, surprised at myself when I did.
“Yeah, I’m okay. What hit me?”
“Martin’s kayak. They came over the falls a little too quickly after we did.” Ian scowled at Roman as he spoke, but not too much, I noticed. Roman just stood there stonily, unwilling to look at me or Ian.
I’m sorry, Roman. I couldn’t believe that we’d been fighting over such a silly thing before he saved my life.
He didn’t answer. His silence stung in a way I hadn’t expected.
“Come on, Vera, there’s still the protocol and then I can’t wait to show you our camp!” Ian took my hand, without waiting to see if it was ok with me, and led the way to a path that started at the beach. Roman followed ungraciously in our path and I saw the others were docking their kayaks, doffing their life preservers and making their way towards the path, too. I felt around my waist and realized my floatation device wasn’t there.
“I think it came off in the fall. Piece of garbage,” Ian laughed. If anything Roman’s presence behind us stiffened even more.
“Just another chance to prove Matsumotos have intestinal fortitude,” I tried to sound as nonchalant as Ian.
He barked a laugh and tightened the grip of his warm hand on mine. He was soaked to the skin, too, and his wet clothes draped him in ways I couldn’t help but notice. I shook my head forced myself to focus on Denise.
“Did Denise go over the falls?” I asked.
“Sure she did,” Ian said, “but her kayak didn’t break.”
And her skeleton didn’t reach up to throttle me when I hit the water. Theory one down.
When the others joined us at the path Jack clapped me on the shoulder, “Well done Ambassador!”
“You should have seen the guy from old Earth,” Jenna said. “He literally wet himself on the way down!”
“Don’t remind me,” Kenneth said.
“Kenneth was in his kayak and got soaked,” Jenna said, smirking.
I shared their horrified look, not at the prospect of Kenneth being peed on, but at the idea that they thought it was funny to drop visitors over waterfalls. The Capricornians were so weird. What had Ian called it? They admired courage and determination. Well, I had that if I needed it – I’d proved that much, but this seemed like a terrible way to make intergalactic friends.
We started down the path together, Ian in the lead, still holding my hand, and the others trailing behind. The path was worn and wide, made of carefully fitted stones that kept us up off the mud and foliage of the jungle floor. The day was cool, but still humid and I found that my wet clothes were not drying well. They chafed uncomfortably as I walked, and no amount of tugging or re-arranging seemed to help them. Roman and Ian, in contrast, strode along as if they frequently went on walks in soaking wet clothes. Neither one of them made a single adjustment. I envied that.
The path was winding upwards and soon the level stones became stairs. There was no railing or place to stop. After a hundred steps I felt my leg muscles tightening uncomfortably. I tried looking into the leafy fronds around us to distract me. Small mammals chattered in the trees, multicolored birds swooped and shrieked at us and the bugs in the undergrowth laid down a steady thrum that I got so used to I barely even noticed it after a while.
After two hundred steps I was feeling winded, but I refused to be the first one to demand a break. My pace was slowing, but I still was right in step beside Ian, with Roman just one step behind us. By three hundred steps, we reached a break in the foliage and stopped for a breather.
Standing there winded and wet, with my hair plastered to my face and an empty stomach I still couldn’t believe the beauty below me. Where the waterfall was a mist surrounded the whole area, glinting in the sun, and the river looped through the dense trees like a sparkling snake. I noticed that even Roman was watching with admiration. I think it might have been the first time he’d really looked at the planet without assessing the threat situation.
“Worth it, right?” Ian asked with a smile just for me.
“Yes,” I said, and felt that I meant it.
We returned to climbing the steep hill, and the ache in my legs was growing more pronounced when we stepped out onto a stone terrace that was surrounding something that stuck out of the hill like a monument. I stopped, shook my legs out to keep them from cramping, and then eased my way to the structure at the center of the terrace. It took me a moment to realize what it was.
We were looking at a crashed shuttle, the I.P.S.S. Capricornia if I was reading the insignia right. This couldn’t be more than a part of it, despite how large it was. From what I could tell it was completely undisturbed since it had crashed here, who knows how long ago. The only things that had been changed were the addition of the terrace that wrapped around it and the force field surrounding the shuttle that kept weather and vines from assaulting this heritage piece.
Everyone had made it to the top of the hill now, and Ian began to speak in a way that sounded rehearsed and formal at the same time.
“In the days of our ancestors Earth became tainted with the poisons we dumped into her environment and she became toxic to all humanity,” he intoned.
“Remember this,” everyone else responded in a low chant. I tried to remain inconspicuous. Clearly this was the ritual we had been told about.
“Humanity scattered to the stars, bent on finding a new home. Empires were founded, Republics formed and Cartels established. Our ancestors were scientists, committed to living in harmony with our environment and bettering our people.”
“Remember this,” was the reply.
“We arrived here on the I.P.S.S. Dawnbringer, forty families and our equipment. We boarded two shuttles, along with our meager possessions to settle this planet. One was the I.P.S.S. Alissa which brought our ancestors to the north side of the planet. The other was the I.P.S.S. Capricornia. Capricornia lost control and impacted with the planet at this very spot.”
“Remember this.”
“We are here today to honor our brothers and sisters, as we honored them when we named the planet after their sacrifice. They sacrificed themselves for the next generation. They sacrificed themselves that their courage and ideals could be passed from one generation to the next in our constant quest for perfection and achievement.”
“Remember this.”
“In their honor we do not speak of the dead except in this place in which to honor them. Let us honor them.”
“We honor them.”
Ian produced a knife and flicked it over his palm, squeezing a few drops of blood onto the white stone terrace.
“I pledge my blood to Capricornia and my energy in her service. I will defend her from harm and protect her people. Today I remember Justin.”
He handed the knife the Jenna who was standing beside him. She sliced her own hand and repeated the pledge.
“I pledge my blood to Capricornia and my energy in her service. I will defend her from harm and protect her people. Today I remember Justin.”
The knife went around the circle, each one p
ledging their faithfulness and remembering Justin. I felt tears pricking my eyes, remembering the horror of his sudden death and their casual refusal to discuss it. Apparently they mourned in their own way.
The knife came to Roman, who handed it silently back to Ian.
“You won’t take the pledge?” Ian asked him coldly.
“It’s not my battle to fight.”
“What about you?” Ian asked me, challenging. I felt seven sets of eyes boring into me. Roman’s looked furious, Ian’s demanding, and the others intent.
“I’m already pledged to one Empire. I cannot defend both,” I replied, clearing my suddenly dry throat.
“Why not?” Ian asked, in a low voice. “If there is no conflict between the two, how could you not pledge with us? Do you want to dishonor the sacrifice of our ancestors?”
He grabbed my palm suddenly, holding it open and flat, the knife poised over it. Roman grabbed for his knife hand, but Ian was quick, sending an elbow into Roman’s face. As he twisted to hit him, his other hand jabbed the knife through my palm.
I bit off a yelp at the sudden pain in my hand, clutching it to my chest. With a grunt, Roman shoved Ian hard and he lost his balance, arms flailing, and fell to the floor.
The knife had buried itself in my left palm and it was still there. I watched as a drop of blood hit the stone. I winced at the pain, holding one hand in the other. Any movement made sharp pains dart up my forearm. I felt my heart speeding up and stepped back into Jenna, who caught my arm, her eyes watching the blood dripping from my hand and pattering onto the stone below.
THE EX-PACIFIST: 29
IAN AND ROMAN WERE STILL fighting. I saw Roman get a quick punch into Ian’s jaw, but Ian was a lot bigger than Roman, and his extra mass was in his favor.
“Stop it!” Jack shouted, pulling in vain at one of Ian’s arms. “You guys have to stop it, we’re in the middle of the ceremony!”
Martin and Kenneth pushed themselves into the fray. Martin grabbed Roman, who was thrashing in his arms and Kenneth was trying to push Ian back.
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