“Because I know how much the ranch means to you.”
His breath was warm on her lips. “It means a hell of a lot, but some things are even more important.”
She could hardly swallow. “Your family has to have missed you all these years.”
“I’ve missed them, but I’m talking about the relationship between a man and a woman. If it’s right, then it trumps everything else in importance. Don’t you agree?”
Alex thought she was going to faint. “Yes, although I can’t speak from personal experience because my only experience was with a boy and it never turned into a relationship.”
“Then it’s time you found out what a real one could be like.” Suddenly the room tilted because he’d picked her up in his arms. His mouth took hers in a long, hungry kiss that still didn’t satisfy either of them. At the doorway, he turned out the light and carried her down the hall to Johnny’s bedroom.
His rock-hard body followed her down on top of the bed. He tangled her legs with his and smoothed the hair away from her temples. In the semidarkness, his eyes were alive with desire. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted a woman in my life. Everything about you appeals to me. But it goes much deeper than the physical.
“I have this impossible dream of sharing my life with you, of having a baby with you. My mom had me at forty.” She gasped. “I’m glad if that shocks you. Now you know how far my fantasy has taken me.”
“Fantasy?” she whispered, out of breath.
“Yes.” He covered her face in kisses. “I don’t have anything to offer you and Jenny. A man needs something solid behind him.” He had to be talking marriage, but hadn’t said the words. The joy of it overwhelmed her. “I’m not Frank—I can’t offer you the security you deserve. That takes time to build.”
“If I’d wanted Frank, I would have married him.”
“Be honest, Alex. You need much more than a ranch hand can deliver. While the guys and I were in the hospital, we felt it was pretty much the end of our lives. We had no expectations except to survive and try to do some good.”
“You’ve done a lot more than that!” she cried from her soul, kissing him with abandon to convince him.
Buck was the one who eventually brought them down to earth. After relinquishing her mouth, he turned on his side, running his hand up and down her arm. “When you look at me like that, you have no idea how much I’d love to ravish you, but I’m not going to do it.”
Giving her arm a squeeze, he rolled away from her and got off the bed. She hated that shuttered look hiding his eyes from her while he stood there rocking on his cowboy boots. “See you in the morning.” He started for the door.
In panic, she sat up. “There you go again, Buck, distancing yourself from me. I’m not Melanie.”
Her comment caught him on the raw. He turned to her. Lines marred his handsome features. “Where did that come from?”
“She didn’t wait for you to finish college because she wasn’t a risk-taker. Instead, she married your brother who already had job security working in the family construction business. She was blind not to realize that you instill security by simply being who you are.
“Your old girlfriend didn’t know the Buck Summerhayes I know. Otherwise she would have realized what a rarity you are. It wouldn’t matter what you did for a living or how long it took. You’re a survivor and a hero who takes care of everyone else and went to my granddaughter’s rescue without giving it a second’s thought.
“There’s greatness in you. Carson recognized it when he met you. No wonder your family wants and needs you back. It’s because you’re a remarkable man who’s true to himself.”
Even from the distance, she felt his body go rigid. “That was a speech any red-blooded man would be proud of, ma’am. Good night.”
Oh, no, you don’t!
She rushed out into the hall in time to hear a door bang shut in the distance.
With her heart racing, Alex dashed down the corridor and out the rear door after him. The headlights to his truck went on. He started to back out. “Buck? Wait—” She took a flying leap to reach the door handle on the passenger side.
He slammed on the brakes. She took advantage of the moment to open the door and climb inside the cab. His expression looked like thunder. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” He was out of breath. “Don’t you know you could have gotten dragged, even killed?” The pulse at the corner of his mouth was throbbing.
“You’re worth the risk.”
“We’ve already said good-night.”
“No,” she fired back. “You walked out on me while I still had more to say. I think the term slippery slope was invented when someone tried to get up close to you and failed. This pattern you have of bolting like an unbroken stallion at the first sign you might be in danger is disconcerting to say the least. Last year I watched Hugh break one in and can see the similarity in behavior.”
His expression grew as dark as a thundercloud. She’d made him angry again. The next thing she knew, he’d pulled the truck closer to the house and shut off the engine.
“Since you love this ranch so much, why don’t you drive us to a favorite spot I haven’t seen before? In case you’re worried, I’m not tired in the least.”
“That wouldn’t be a good idea.” His voice sounded like gravel. “We have a big day planned for tomorrow. I’ve got a lot of gear to get together.”
“Of course.” His work was never done.
Silence stretched between them. “What did you want to say?”
She took a shaky breath. “It can wait until tomorrow evening when we’re at the lake and you’re able to relax.”
“In that case, I have things to do now.” He reached across to open the door for her. His arm brushed against her in the process, turning her body to a mass of jelly. “I’ll wait till I know you’re safely in the house. Lock the door behind you.”
“I will.”
Chapter Ten
Buck waited until Alex had gone inside.
In the bedroom, she’d sung his praises. It had reminded him of a glowing eulogy to a dead marine.
But not one word of love had come from her lips. Not one declaration that she shared his dream for a life together.
Holding her in his arms, exulting in the rapture of her kisses, he’d forgotten to be cautious and had been all kinds of a fool to have opened up to her. How could he forget it had taken Frank two years to make a dent....
Buck didn’t have years. He’d been given only eight days, if you combined the two times she’d come to the ranch. After her experience with Kyle, she’d been guarding her heart all this time. To suppose or even hope she would blurt out that she was in love with Buck in such a short amount of time was ludicrous. He really was out of his mind.
He took off for the shed where they kept the camping supplies. There were tents, water toys, fishing poles, lanterns, sleeping bags and feed for the horses to load in the back of the truck. A couple of guys from the staff would drive up to the lake early with the food.
It was close to midnight when he drove back to the ranch house and went inside. Ross caught up to him at the top of the stairs. His brows knitted together. “You look gutted. What’s wrong?”
“I blew it tonight and told her how I felt.”
“And?”
He sucked in his breath. “She gave me some spiel about what a great man I am.”
“You are.”
“Thanks, buddy,” he said with a mirthless smile, “but you know damn well that
kind of talk is a death sentence.”
“I don’t get it. I thought—”
“So did I,” Buck cut him off, and then had a coughing spell. “But being on fire for each other doesn’t mean she’s ready for anything else. She couldn’t bring herself to marry Frank, who hung in there for two years. I’m not made like him.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m glad she’s flying out of here on Monday. Do me a favor tomorrow and ask Tracy to stick with her while we entertain the kids?”
Ross nodded. “What time do you figure we should get away?”
“After breakfast. I’ve asked Bert to get the horses saddled and ready.”
“Carson checked the weather forecast. There could be light rain later in the day.”
Buck frowned. “Jenny’s afraid of storms. Last month our plane flew right into one over the Tetons.”
“I remember. If it doesn’t look good, we’ll come back early.”
“That’s all we can do. Under other circumstances I’d cancel the outing, but I know Jenny’s got her heart set on it. She and Johnny have made all sorts of plans.”
“Don’t I know it.”
“I’ll ask a couple of the hands to bring up an extra truck for us in case we need to drive the kids back.”
“Sounds like you’ve got everything covered.”
“Except that we can’t count on the weather report ever being accurate,” Buck muttered.
“We’ll play it by ear. Get some sleep.”
“You, too.”
They parted company and went to bed. For the first time in over a month, Buck wasn’t fighting the urge to seek out Alex, whether she slept in the guest cabin or in the ranch house. Nothing could have cooled his blood faster than to realize his dream had no possibility of coming to fruition.
When he awakened the next morning, he looked out the window. An overcast sky greeted him and appeared as grim as his mood. He turned on the TV to the weather channel. Just as he’d feared, the earlier forecast hadn’t been specific enough. A storm front would move in by evening and bring wind and heavy rainfall.
After he’d showered and shaved, he got dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. When he was ready, he went down to the dining room. Ross was there talking to some of the guests.
While Buck ate, he phoned Carson. His friend had been outside already and was in agreement that they would have to cancel the campout portion of their outing. If they got up to the lake early to swim, they would have time to ride back home before the storm started.
The kids wouldn’t like the news, but for once, their disappointment wasn’t foremost in his mind. All he could think of was that now he wouldn’t have to spend a night in the rain aching for Alex who would be asleep in one of the tents only a stone’s throw away from his.
Once he’d finished eating, he pulled Ross aside. “I just talked to Carson. We’ve decided to call off the camping-out part of the trip.”
“I looked at the sky a few minutes ago. It’s a good idea.”
“Since the others haven’t come to breakfast yet, I’m going to use this time to drive back to the shed and unload everything from the truck. It needs to be done and I’d rather do it now. I’ll coordinate with the staff about just bringing lunch for us.”
“Do you want help?”
They eyed each other. He could always count on Ross to know exactly what was going on with him. “Bring everyone to the barn. I’ll be there to meet you and we’ll head out.”
There was no sign of Alex yet, which was good. He hurriedly left the dining room and headed out to the truck. Twenty minutes later, he’d finished the job and climbed back in the cab. There was a message waiting for him on his cell. His mother had phoned. On the drive over to the barn, he called her back.
* * *
AS THEIR PARTY came out of the trees Jenny cried, “Secret Lake looks like a silver dollar!”
“Told you,” Johnny said after they’d dismounted.
The small mountain lake with its stretch of beach was perfectly formed. With a pine forest surrounding them, the place looked enchanting and would have been an ideal spot to spend the night, if not for the impending storm.
Alex glanced at the sky for the dozenth time. It was noon. She’d been hoping for a break in the clouds, but no such luck. Thankfully, with the three men doing their best to keep the kids entertained, the children seemed to have gotten over their disappointment at not being able to camp out.
It was Alex who was still suffering over the way things had ended before she’d gotten out of Buck’s truck last night. He’d been charming and friendly to her this morning. From his surface behavior you would never have known what had transpired the night before.
But Alex knew he’d retreated deep within himself. She feared it might be impossible to reach him once she nabbed some time alone with him today. So far, there’d been no opportunity for that. The men stuck together as they chaperoned the children.
Tracy stayed at Alex’s side and they rode the entire way together. She found out that Tracy had been a technology specialist for the school district where Johnny had gone to school in Sandusky, Ohio.
They talked about jobs and the necessity of finding the kind of work that coincided with the kids’ school day. Little by little, Alex learned about the pain Tracy and Johnny had gone through when her first husband was killed.
“Johnny changed. He retreated into his shell and had no confidence. He didn’t want to play with his friends. By the time that letter from Carson arrived, I was pretty frantic. I didn’t think Johnny would agree to go. If we hadn’t...”
Alex understood and could hardly believe the boy her friend was describing was the same little cowboy with the shining brown eyes who was showing Jenny all the ins and outs of the ranch as if he owned the place.
In turn, Alex admitted to Tracy how her granddaughter had suffered after losing both parents. She feared that her sadness would rob her of the happy childhood she deserved.
“Buck was the first one to make her laugh since her mother’s death. The night we drove to the ranch from the airport, she was scared because of the storm. He kept chatting with her and told her about Moppy the squirrel. It was like magic the way she responded—he helped her forget her fear. Then she met Johnny and they laugh all the time.”
“I know. To be honest, I’m dreading you leaving tomorrow. Johnny told me again this morning he wishes you’d get a job in Jackson.”
Alex almost moaned out loud. “I’m afraid Jenny had something to do with that.”
“Do you know the only thing saving me is that we have a back-to-school information night on Thursday? I’m praying Johnny makes some new friends soon, but Jenny will be a hard act to follow. She’s wise for her age and I think that intrigues him.”
“Jenny thinks he’s the funnest, funniest person on Earth.”
“He has his father’s personality. The first time I met Tony, my girlfriends and I were having a picnic at Lakefront State Park in Cleveland when a crew of firefighters pulled up to eat their lunch and play some football. The cutest guy in the group started flirting with me. I secretly called him Mr. Personality. He told me after our first date he was going to marry me.”
Alex smiled. “I can hear him through Johnny. That first morning he came to our cabin door, he spoke right up and said, ‘Hi! I’m Johnny Lundgren. Are you Jenny?’ My granddaughter was so stunned, she could only nod. Then he said, ‘Do you want to have breakfast with me?’”
Both women’s laughter drew the guys’ attention. Alex felt Buck’s gaze on her. They were setting up a table and chairs that one of the staff members had driven up with the food for their lunch. The children had run over to the water’s edge and stripped down to their bathing suits to go wading.
“What’s so funny?” Carson called to his wife.
&nb
sp; “Just the kids. I’ll tell you later.” In an aside to Alex, she said, “Carson is so different. He was much more guarded when we first met. I had to read between the lines.”
“I know what you mean. That’s a trait all three of the guys seem to share,” Alex murmured. “Buck was hurt long before he went to war.”
“You’re talking about Melanie.”
“Yes.”
“He got over her years ago, but unfortunately he doesn’t have a lot of faith in a woman’s staying power. The fear of committing again without a guarantee still looms large for him.”
Alex’s heart rate increased. Last night was proof of what Tracy had just confided to her. Buck was so convinced he didn’t have enough to offer a woman that the thought was entrenched in him. Alex had thought about it all night and her illuminating conversation with Tracy just now had her mind spinning with an idea.
Deep in thought, she barely heard Tracy add, “Then there’s Carson who suffered after he came home from war because he felt he’d deserted his grandfather. He’s still trying to get over the guilt.”
“Those poor guys. And on top of everything else, they have to cope with their disease. It isn’t fair.”
“No kidding.”
“Food’s ready. Come and get it!” Ross announced, jarring Alex back to the present. The guys were trying to hurry things up. Alex sensed they didn’t trust the timing of the storm and wanted to make sure they started on their way back in plenty of time.
She and Tracy rounded up the kids. They took them behind some bushes where they could take off their wet bathing suits and get dressed. Once that was done, they all sat down to eat sloppy joes and potato chips. After finishing three of the hot beef sandwiches, Carson stood.
“As much as I wish we could stay here until tomorrow, I’m afraid we can’t. As soon as everyone’s through eating, we’ll head back to the ranch and finish our party in the swimming pool. It’s time for a water-fight rematch!”
“Yippee!” the children cried in unison.
Once Johnny and Jenny had wolfed down their cookies, Carson and Ross helped them get back on their ponies.
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