“That’s great,” she heard herself say, but she needed to get out of the crowded room, certain everyone was staring at her. “I better go find Kendra before she leaves without me. Excuse me, Amy.”
“I’m sorry, Kristin,” she heard Amy say, but she didn’t turn back. She headed down the hallway past several classrooms and went out the back door, not even bothering to search for Kendra.
Fumbling for her keys, she pulled them from her purse as she reached her car, unlocked the door, and got in. Tossing her Bible and purse on the passenger seat, she started the engine and backed out of the small space.
Shifting into Drive and racing from the parking lot, she had no idea where to go. But she had to get away.
CHAPTER FIVE
With her reading glasses on, Kristin pored over her students’ biographies of people of the Civil War. She had promised to have them graded by Tuesday. On Friday she thought she would have the three-day weekend to complete the task on account of President’s Day tomorrow, but that had been before agreeing to help her aunt at the shop, her date with Jacob on Saturday night, and an afternoon of lamenting over Brandon.
Now she only had a few hours tonight and tomorrow to read and grade thirty reports. The phone rang, but she let the answering machine click on, fearing it might be Jacob. It had already rung three times in the last hour, and she’d had several messages waiting for her when she arrived home. Two from Jacob and several from Kendra.
“Hi, Kris. It’s Kendra. Please pick up if you’re there.”
She reached for the phone. “I’m here.”
“Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick--”
“Did you know about Brandon’s engagement?”
Kendra hesitated. “Yes,” she replied, sounding like she ‘d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “Who told you?”
“Amy.”
“Oh, Kristin. I’m so sorry you had to find out that way. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she lied. “Sorry I worried everyone.”
“Do you want some company?”
“Thanks, but I have a ton of work to do. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay,” Kendra replied. “Kris?”
“Yes?”
“Did you call Jacob?”
“No.”
“He called a little while ago, and I told him none of us knew where you were. He asked me to call if I heard from you.”
“How did he get your number?”
“Information, I guess.”
Leaning back against the chair, she sighed. “Will you call him for me? Tell him I’m fine, and I’ll see him on Tuesday.”
“I think you should call him.”
“Please, Kendra? If I call he’s going to want to hear the whole story, and I don’t have time right now. And besides, I’m not ready to talk to him about this. I think you owe me that much after keeping Brandon’s engagement from me.”
“Okay,” Kendra replied. “I’ll be here if you want to talk.”
Kristin hung up the phone with tears stinging her eyes and went back to her papers. Expecting the phone to ring again soon, she kept it close by, but it remained silent for the rest of the evening.
By lunchtime on Tuesday Kristin felt famished. The morning had dragged with her mind everywhere but on her lessons. Rain fell in sheets outside her window, adding to the gloom.
“Hey, Kristin. How was your weekend?” Gail asked as she took a seat next to her in the teachers’ lounge.
“Tiring,” she said. “I helped my aunt at her shop on Saturday.”
“Did you actually have men coming in to buy flowers for their wives?”
“Yes, quite a few,” she replied. “Most of them are funny to watch. They always look so nervous.”
“My husband didn’t get me anything, not even a card. Can you believe that?”
At least you have a husband.
“Me neither,” another one if her coworkers piped in. “Men can be such imbeciles. They never forget when it’s time to change the oil in the car or what time the football game starts, but when it comes to a holiday that comes the same time every year, they are suddenly absent-minded.
Within five minutes, all the women around her were complaining about their husband or boyfriend, and before long they were taking a survey of the men in the room to see who had remembered to get something special for their sweetheart on Valentine’s Day. Two raised their hands.
Taking her half-eaten sandwich, Kristin excused herself and retreated to the quietness of her classroom. If that’s how relationships ended up after the initial romance, she didn’t want one.
She laid her head down on her desk for the remaining minutes before the room would be filled with her students once again, wishing she could erase this entire weekend from her memory. How could Saturday have turned out so well and Sunday been so awful? She wanted to shut it all out and move on as if nothing had changed: She hadn’t heard about Brandon’s engagement. She hadn’t gone out with Jacob.
Jacob’s soft voice startled her.
Jerking her head up, she watched him stroll toward her. “Please, sit,” he said when she started to rise from her chair. “I’ll only be a minute.”
She waited for him to continue. He remained on the other side of the desk, his hands held behind his back.
“I wanted to see for myself if you were all right,” he said. “Are you?”
She nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”
“Care to have dinner with me tonight?”
“I don’t think so,” she said, wondering how much Kendra had told him. “I can’t see you anymore, Jacob--Mr. Young. I think it’s best if we go back to the way things were.”
“I thought--”
“I’m sorry, Jacob. I can’t.”
The bell rang, and they both knew students would be invading very soon. He remained in place for a moment, then turned away and left. Lowering her head back down, she wondered if she could make it through the rest of the day. Right now she wanted to go home and crawl into the comfort of her bed and stay there for a week.
At two o’clock, halfway through her advanced geography class, a knock sounded at the door. “Do you want me to get it, Miss Swan?” a student asked.
“Yes. Thank you, Lee.”
Kristin gasped when she saw the large bouquet of flowers being brought into the room by an office aide. “I’m sorry to interrupt,” she said. “But the person who sent them insisted on you receiving them at two o’clock sharp. Where would you like them?”
“Over here,” Kristin said without taking her eyes from the large arrangement of yellow roses, purple irises, and red tulips.
The aide set them on her desk and let herself out. Trying to maintain her composure, she took her eyes from the flowers and returned to the map behind her.
“Now, where were we?” she said. “Oh, yes. This long skinny one is Chile--”
“Who are they from?” one of her students blurted out.
“Come on, Miss Swan, read the card,” another said.
Feeling her cheeks flush more, Kristin knew she would not have their attention again unless she did as they asked. “I will look,” she said. “But only if you promise to get back to geography afterwards.”
“We will. Come on, tell us!”
Kristin found the buried card and pulled it out, wondering what she would say if Jacob had written something too personal for her to share. Somehow she knew he would be discreet if they were in fact from him. The envelope said, “Miss Swan.”
Pulling the white card out, she saw they had been ordered from her aunt’s shop. The handwriting looked like Aunt Pauline’s, meaning the customer had called in the order.
“What does it say?”
“Come on, you have to read it. You make us read our notes to the whole class.”
Knowing her students had a valid point, she chose to comply, reading the simple message aloud. “I’m sorry these are late. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Who are they from?”
> “It doesn’t say,” she said.
“Come on, tell us!”
“It doesn’t say,” she repeated, handing the card to a girl in the front row for confirmation.
“Okay. Settle down,” she said. “I did what you asked. Now back to our map of South America.”
The murmurs subsided, and Kristin regained her composure, almost finishing her agenda by the time the bell sounded. Several girls gathered at her desk when class ended, smelling the fragrant flowers and looking at the anonymous card for themselves.
“How romantic, Miss Swan. Flowers from a secret admirer,” one girl swooned.
“Okay girls, get to class,” she said. Slowly they straggled out.
Kristin fought the urge to stop by Jacob’s office before leaving for the day. Exiting the building from a side door, she didn’t tempt herself further and took the flowers with her to avoid unnecessary questions from her other classes tomorrow.
Taking them inside when she arrived home, she set them on the kitchen table, debating about leaving them there as a reminder of her nice time with Jacob or tossing them in the garbage. For now she would leave them. If their presence began to bother her too much, she could discard them later. So far they had only made her smile.
Deciding she needed a brisk walk to clear her head and give her some energy to tackle the homework she needed to grade and the prep work she needed to do before tomorrow, she changed into her black sweatpants and a baggy yellow sweatshirt, heading out the door toward the park. The rain had stopped, but clouds loomed overhead. She hoped it would remain dry until she got back.
The refreshing air felt good and gave her time to think about what she had told Jacob today. Had she done the right thing? Yes, it was better this way, she decided. She didn’t have time for a relationship right now, let alone a complicated one with her boss, and someone she could end up hurting if her heart couldn’t let go of Brandon anytime soon.
Knowing he was engaged, she had tried desperately to shut him out of her heart. But that small strand of hope she had been holding on to that he might someday come back for her had been severed, and her pain seemed to only worsen with each passing hour.
Returning to her duplex, she saw Kendra’s white car in her driveway, and its empty seat told her Kendra had let herself in. The smell of spaghetti sauce made her mouth water when she entered through the front door. Kendra stood in the kitchen, stirring the noodles and tossing a salad.
“Hi. I didn’t feel like eating alone,” Kendra said. “This should be ready in about ten minutes.”
“Thanks,” Kristin said warily. “What’s this going to cost me?”
“Oh, not much, just a heart-to-heart talk with your sister.”
“Ken, I have work to do tonight. I didn’t get enough done this weekend.”
“Well, you have to eat,” Kendra replied. “We can talk over dinner and then I’ll be on my way. I promise.”
Kristin knew it would have to do. Whether Kendra stuck to her word remained to be seen. She left the room to throw in some laundry and change her clothes.
“Who are the flowers from?” Kendra asked when she returned.
“Are you sure you don’t know?”
Kendra looked back and raised an eyebrow. “You know they’re from him.”
“I don’t know anything,” she said.
“Did you talk to him today?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“And, nosy little sister, it’s over. One date, end of story.”
“Was it that bad? Come on, you promised to tell me all about it.”
Kristin sighed. She couldn’t lie to her sister even if she was mad at her and the rest of her family for not telling her about Brandon’s engagement. “He’s wonderful,” she said. “He treated me to a perfect evening.”
“So, what’s the problem? Is this about him or Brandon?”
“I can’t do this right now,” she said. “I can’t take another broken heart.”
“What makes you think he will break your heart?”
“I know that isn’t his intention, but it could happen. And dating my boss can’t be a good idea. It’s better this way.”
“Tell me what you like about him.”
Everything.
Kendra set a steaming plate of spaghetti before her.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Is he a Christian?”
“Yes.”
“Is he a good kisser?”
“Kendra!”
“Oh, come on. Lighten up. Tell me about him.”
She gave in, telling her about the entire evening.
“So, you agreed to go out with him again?”
“Yes, but that was before--”
“Before what? Hearing about Brandon’s engagement? What does that have to do with the way you feel about Jacob?”
“It doesn’t change the way I feel about him, but it does change the way I feel about myself. Brandon rejected me, and I don’t understand why. I have no way of knowing if Jacob will end up doing the same thing, and right now I can’t handle the possibility. Maybe in a few months, but not now.”
“Did you tell Jacob that?”
“What?”
“That you are interested but want to wait awhile?”
“No.”
“Tell him, Kristin. Don’t push him away. Let him know there might be a chance.”
Kristin pondered her sister’s suggestion. Gazing at the beautiful flowers, she knew Jacob was someone worth getting to know. But would letting him know about her possible interest in him give her some space, or only make him more determined to pursue her?
“I’ll think about it,” she said, bringing a smile to her sister’s face. “But this is my decision. No more hounding me, capisce?”
“Capisce,” Kendra replied, attempting to hide her amused expression. “Can I tell you one thing?”
“What?” Kristin asked, having a feeling she would regret letting Kendra have the last word.
“When I talked to Jacob on Sunday, I asked him why he was so anxious to talk to you, and he said, ‘Because last night was the best night of my life.’”
CHAPTER SIX
The following morning Kristin entered her classroom, feeling determined to keep her focus on her students and her teaching. She had decided to give herself a few days to sort out her emotions before making any decision about talking to Jacob as Kendra had suggested. If he had enjoyed his time with her as much as his words seemed to indicate, she didn’t feel that she could ignore him completely, and yet she didn’t feel ready to go running into his office to let him know she had spoken hastily yesterday.
Crossing the floor to her desk, she began to set her attaché case down when a flash of color stopped her. A single red rose surrounded by greenery and baby’s breath rested on her chair. Setting down her things, she reached for the white envelope tucked under the rose and pulled out the card. This time Jacob’s own handwriting stared back at her.
Please call me.
She sighed. He sure doesn’t give up easily. Maybe he was serious about buying out my aunt’s shop.
She half expected another bouquet of flowers to be delivered at two o’clock that afternoon, but Jacob didn’t go that far. After school she felt his gaze on her more than once during the staff meeting, but he didn’t try to detain her afterwards or come by her classroom, even though she hung around a bit later than usual. When she finally went out to the parking lot, she saw his car was already gone. A hollow feeling swept through her.
“How long have you known about Brandon’s engagement?” she asked Kendra that evening, holding the kitten in one arm and the wedding invitation in her hand. It had been delivered to her mailbox that afternoon.
“Umm...About two weeks, I guess,” Kendra replied, filling the bathroom sink with water to give the small cat a bath.
“Two weeks? And when were you planning on telling me?”
“I’m sorry, Kris,” she said. “I volunteered to be the one
to tell you, but then I couldn’t. Before I knew it, Valentine’s Day was a few days away, and I knew the day would be hard enough for you without having to deal with the news too, so I put it off a little longer. I was planning to tell you on Sunday. Honest. I’m sorry you had to hear it from Amy instead.”
“I know you meant well,” she said, handing the mewing kitten to Kendra. “This probably sounds really stupid, but I wish Brandon had called to tell me himself.”
“That doesn’t sound stupid,” Kendra said. “Are you planning on going?”
“To the wedding?”
“Yes,” Kendra said, placing Daisy in the water. The kitten tried to escape, but Kendra held her down and spoke soothing words to calm her.
“I don’t know,” Kristin said, putting the cat shampoo within Kendra’s reach. “I don’t know if I can.”
“I think you should,” Kendra said. “We can go together if you want. Then afterwards we can hang around Portland and go shopping or something.”
“Why do you think I should?”
“It might help you to move on.”
Kristin didn’t know if she agreed. Watching Brandon marry someone else seemed like a good way to put herself into a deeper depression. How could she go? How could anyone expect her to?
“Well, I have a month to decide,” she said.
After the kitten had been shampooed, rinsed, and partially dried with a towel, they went to the kitchen and made some popcorn before sitting down to watch a movie. Kristin graded the quizzes she had given that day and felt good about how her students were doing. She taught six classes in all. Four of the same general social studies course that most of the eighth grade students were required to take. Some excelled, some failed, and most fell somewhere in the middle. She always tried to help all of her students to do their best. She realized that history, cultural studies, and geography could be boring for many of the kids, but she tried to be creative and make it as interesting as possible. She found that assigning projects and having the kids do reports helped them learn better.
Her other two classes, Advanced Geography and Pioneers of the Oregon Trail, she put her whole heart into. Consisting of academic achievers, the classes allowed her to challenge her students more and dig deeper into the subjects. Her relationships with the students in her advanced classes tended to be more involved, and now in her third year of teaching, she felt like had a good handle on the material and could help her students get the most out of their time in her class.
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