by Gemma Brooks
“No,” he said. “Don’t let me go, Brynn.”
I sighed. I couldn’t hang up on him again. Who knew what self-destructive measures he would take then? The last thing I wanted was for him to drink himself into a coma.
“I was looking forward to seeing you tonight,” he said. His words washed over me like smooth silk and I instantly remembered why I fell for him. “I had flowers for you. And Flor made this amazing dinner for us. I couldn’t wait to get my hands all over you.”
His words tickled my spine. I just wished he wasn’t drunk out of his mind.
“And tomorrow,” he said. “Tomorrow I was going to fly us to Cabo for a few days. I wanted to take you away from here for a little getaway before I left for my next shoot. Just you and me and the sand and the waves and Coronas and really amazing Mexican food. And you in a bikini.”
Good to know he still had a way with words even in a drunken stupor.
“Please come back, Brynn,” he said. “I need you. I can’t be without you.”
Hudson was fighting for me. Maybe he did cheat on me. Maybe he didn’t. I’d never know. All I knew was that he was fighting for me. He wasn’t giving up. Not yet.
“I love the idea of being with you,” I said. “But the reality of it is hard, Hudson. You understand that, right?”
He sighed a long, drunk, exasperated sigh into the other end of the phone.
“So you only do things that are easy for you?” he slurred. “Is that the kind of person you are?”
“No,” I said, quickly realizing he was pretty spot on.
“It’s not going to be easy being in a relationship with me,” he slurred. “But I promise to make it worth it.”
“That all sounds great,” I said. “In theory.”
“God damn it, Brynn,” he heaved. “I can’t win with you.”
My mother’s words echoed in my head. He wanted to be with me. He was a man worth fighting for. I didn’t understand my resistance. One on hand, I wanted to be with him. Sometimes I wanted him so bad it hurt. But on the other hand, I didn’t want to get hurt. Hudson had the potential to hurt me. Badly.
I wanted to be with Hudson, but the truth was, I was scared. I was scared to have an amazing life with him and have it all pulled out from underneath me. I was scared that someone prettier or more together or more decisive might come along and sweep him off his feet. I was scared he’d leave me in the dust if things got too familiar or boring.
I clearly wasn’t capable of making good decisions. I couldn’t win at this stupid game of life no matter what I did.
“Let me think about it,” I told him. “It’s late here. I need to go to bed.”
Hudson sighed. I knew he didn’t want to let me go.
“Don’t drink anymore, okay?” I pleaded. “Please just sober up a bit and get to bed. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”
“Fine,” he said. “Please, Brynn. Just reconsider this thing we have. It was pretty amazing.”
“Goodnight, Hudson,” I said as I ended the call.
CHAPTER 16
Monday morning I marched straight into the coffee shop to have a word with Piper. I didn’t care that the shop wasn’t empty that day.
“Piper,” I said as I stomped her way. The rampant bitterness in my voice was hard to contain.
The fear on her face said it all. She knew I was ticked. She knew she had it coming.
“What the fuck is going on?” I asked her with my shoulders square.
“Brynn, keep it down,” she said as her eyes scanned the handful of patrons enjoying their morning cups of coffee and newspapers. “I’m working. Why are you still here? I thought you were going back last night?”
“Yeah, plans changed,” I said. “We need to talk.”
“Now?” she asked.
“Yeah, now,” I said with an eye roll. “Luke came by last night.”
“Really?” she said. I had her undivided attention all of a sudden.
“Yep,” I said. “He told me to leave him alone. He also told me to stop asking you about him.”
“Oh,” she said as her cheeks reddened.
“Exactly,” I snipped. “Why would he say that, Piper?”
In all our years of being best friends, I couldn’t remember a single instance where I spoke to Piper with this tone, but I felt that this was well deserved. I couldn’t have been more upset with her.
“Piper, why would he say that,” I rephrased my question. “Huh?”
She shrugged. She didn’t want to give me an answer.
I slammed my hand down on the counter to get her attention again.
“We’ve been talking,” she said in a quiet mutter. “Ever since you left town, he’s been confiding in me.”
“Why? Why you?” I asked. “Is something going on between you two?”
“No,” Piper said as she looked up and stared me straight in the eyes. “It’s not like that at all.”
“Why would you tell him that I ask about him?” I said. “Where’s your loyalty?”
“You didn’t just leave Rock River, you know,” she snipped. “You left us. I guess we talk because we can relate. You were his best friend. You were my best friend. We both feel like we lost you. We both talk about it.”
“Luke hates to talk about his feelings,” I said. “I don’t buy it. Why would he open up to you like that? He rarely ever opened up to me.”
“People change?” she replied. “I don’t know? I don’t have an answer for that.”
I tried to soften up a bit. What Piper was saying made sense, and maybe I was too hard on her?
“I’m sorry for snapping,” I said as I reached for her hand. “I hate fighting with you.”
Her eyes shifted nervously.
“You’re still my best friend,” I said. “Whether or not you accept that.”
She cracked a cautious smile.
“So are you back for good now?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I honestly have no idea what I’m doing. Everything’s just up in the air right now.”
“Oh,” she said. I could sense the disappointment.
“I think I should try to make it work with Hudson,” I said, bracing myself for her opinionated response.
“You probably should,” she said.
Her answer was nothing short of unexpected. I thought she would rather me stick around Rock River.
“Well, I still don’t know what I’m going to do,” I said. “All I know is I’m going to head out to the diner and ask for a few shifts. I need to make some money.”
I waved goodbye to Piper and headed out to the diner to beg for my job back.
CHAPTER 17
My heart pounded as I stepped foot into the diner. I’d abandoned my job almost a month ago by slipping a hastily scribbled note under the door and leaving town the next morning with Hudson. It was hardly professional. I’d left them hanging. They didn’t owe me anything.
“Brynn!” I heard Sarah squeal from behind the cash register as I walked in. Thank God she didn’t hate me after what I’d done.
I didn’t realize how much I’d missed her until I saw her smiling face. She was genuinely happy to see me. Out of everyone I’d run into since I’d been home, Sarah had easily been the most excited person to see me. It was both sweet and depressing.
I ran up to her and hugged her tight. She was about ten years my senior and a single mom with two small children. We had absolutely nothing in common besides working together at the diner, but I didn’t realize how good of friends we’d become until that moment.
“It’s so good to see you,” I said.
“I know,” she said. “We were all wondering about you. There are so many rumors going around. And of course we see the pictures on the internet sometimes.”
I smiled and rolled my eyes. “I hope you guys don’t believe everything you hear.”
“Nah,” she said as she swatted her hand. “Don’t worry. We know how you really are. We don’t believe any of the bullshi
t. Trust me.”
“Good,” I said. “Is Marge here?”
Marge was the owner of the diner. Our boss. She wasn’t the warmest or friendliest person in the world, but if I wanted to get my job back, she was the only person who could make that decision.
“You want to talk to…Marge?” Sarah said as she bit her nails.
Marge was a very intimidating person. She was a rather large woman with big gray curls and frequently wore red lipstick and blue eye shadow. To anyone else, she’d appear comical, but we knew how she really was. She was ruthless and scary and domineering, which was ironic since her husband, Marty, was the chef. Marty was one of the sweetest people I’d ever met. I always wondered why he settled for Marge. She didn’t deserve him.
“I was thinking about seeing if she’d let me pick up a few shifts while I’m back,” I said. “I don’t know how long I’ll be back, but if you guys need help, I’m here.”
Sarah looked apprehensive before nodding back towards Marge’s office. “She’s in there. Have at it.”
I walked to Marge’s office, swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat, and knocked on her door. She was either going to be happy to see me or she was going to kick me out on my can and tell me never to return.
“Marge?” I called out softly. I cleared my throat.
She spun around in her swivel chair, all three hundred pounds of her, and looked me up and down. She didn’t recognize me at first, but the second she did, she stood up and braced herself on her desk and looked me square in the eyes.
“Brynn,” she said. “What brings you here?”
“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for quitting before,” I said. “Sorry for doing it the way I did it. With no notice.”
She said nothing, which made me feel even worse. I couldn’t get a read on her. I never could.
“Everything just sort of happened so fast,” I said. “I had to make a choice, and the plane was leaving the next morning.”
She sat back down and leaned back in the creaky chair that was about to give out beneath her. She pursed her red lips as she looked me up and down.
“You look different,” she said. “Good, but different.”
“Thanks,” I replied. “So as I was saying, I’m sorry for the way I ended things here. I’m back in town for a bit. I don’t know how long I’ll be back, but if you need help, I’m available to pick up any extra shifts you want to throw my way.”
She cocked her head back and scratched her chins as she looked deep in thought. She probably didn’t want to rehire me but I was sure she needed the help.
“We are short staffed,” she sighed. “I guess you can pick up a few shifts this week if you want.”
She pulled the schedule book out from under the mess of papers that polluted her desk.
“Can you work tonight?” she asked.
“Uh, yeah,” I said with a smile. I wasn’t expecting to work so soon, but I was glad to take it.
“Why don’t you work tonight, tomorrow, and Wednesday,” she said. “We’ll take it one day at a time.”
“Thanks, Marge,” I said. I could’ve almost hugged her right then.
“And Brynn,” she said to me as I turned to walk out. “Don’t ever leave me hanging again.”
“I won’t, Marge,” I said.
I ran off to tell Sarah that I’d be in later and she was thrilled. She had to work a double that day, and now that I was coming in, she wasn’t so upset about it. I said hi to Marty before I left as well. He was also thrilled to have me back. Luke and Piper may have given me the cold shoulder, but at least I had Marty and Sarah.
I headed back to my apartment to take a quick nap. I set my alarm and caught a few hours of sleep before my shift began. I knew I’d be on my feet all night, and I wanted to be as alert and refreshed as I could be.
Before dozing off, I realized I hadn’t heard from Hudson all day. It was very odd. I figured he’d have been blowing up my phone from the moment he woke up. Panic spread throughout my body as I wondered if he’d drank too much the night before and something horrible had happened.
I sprung up from my near-slumber, grabbed my phone, and called him. His phone was off. Either it was dead or he was intentionally avoiding me. I had no other choice but to wait for him to call me. I didn’t have time for his games.
CHAPTER 18
I slipped on my black work pants, which were a couple sizes too big, and cinched them with an old belt I had lying around. They were baggy and frumpy, but I didn’t care. I had no one to impress. I just needed to make a few bucks and get back on my feet.
I pulled a Brown Bag Diner t-shirt over my head and finger-combed my hair up into a top knot. I opted for a fresh-faced look, as most of my makeup tended to melt off my face during work anyway. I didn’t want to waste the last of the good Chanel stuff Hudson had gotten me. I knew I’d never be able to afford that kind of makeup ever again on my own. I wanted it to last as long as possible.
The diner was bustling for 4:00 on a Monday. The special on the board said beef stroganoff and a free slice of pie with every entrée. No wonder. The locals and their pie. We did have the best pie in town, I had to admit. Our French Silk was to die for, and Sarah and I would always hide pieces in the back of the refrigerator for ourselves to enjoy at the end of those pie night shifts.
“This place is nuts tonight!” I said to Sarah as I tied on my apron and checked my pen.
“Yeah, it’s only going to get busier,” she said. “Should make the night go by fast though.”
Sarah was always such an optimist. In all my years of working with her, I had never seen her upset before. Even when customers would talk down to her or complain about her, she never managed to lose her smile and sweet nature.
“You have a table,” she said as she nodded to a booth in the corner.
I ran out to take the order for a family of six. The parents had to have been in their early thirties, and judging by their kids, had them one after another. The children, two girls and two boys, were out of control. They were already making a mess on the table with the sugar packets and pepper shaker, and their parents were doing nothing but looking defeated.
And to think, I once dreamed of having five kids with Luke.
“Hi, my name is Brynn,” I said with a smile. “I’ll be your server tonight. What can I start you off with to drink?”
The mom mumbled something, but I could barely hear it over the screams and yells of her kids.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that,” I said as I leaned down.
“DIET COKE,” she yelled, frustrated. Though I knew her frustration wasn’t directed towards me. She was shooting daggers across the table at her husband who was trying to wrangle a rogue two year old boy.
“I’ll take water,” he said. “Water for the kids too.”
“Okay, I’ll get those and be right back,” I said. I couldn’t have gotten away from there any faster.
The last month I’d grown accustomed to dining at child-free establishments. I’d never realized what a luxury that was until then.
I returned with their drinks and took their orders before Sarah told me I had another table. A crotchety, middle-aged man popped down into a booth. His gruff expression told me has going to be a real peach. My first day back and I was zero for two.
“Hi there,” I said to him. I plastered a huge smile on my face in hopes that he’d return it but he never did. “How are you doing tonight?”
“Hungry,” he said. “Haven’t eaten all day. Been on the road.”
“Oh, yeah? Not from here?” I asked, though I already knew the answer. I knew almost everyone in town and had never seen this guy before.
“Nope,” he said. “From Milwaukee. Just stopping through on my way to Winner, South Dakota.”
“Well, welcome to Rock River,” I said. “You stopped at the best diner in the area, so you’re in luck.”
He stared at me like I was some sort of idiot. I was simply trying to be friendly.
He sighed. “Coffee.”
“Alright,” I said. “Be right back.”
I ran back and filled up a carafe with coffee, grabbed the creamer set, and a mug and saucer and returned them to him.
“Miss are you going to check on our food?” the family of six called after me. It couldn’t have been more than five minutes since I’d put in their order.